CLAIRE: (is it really love)

by Grace Gervas

  "Nogoahead!"Claireconsentedandhegulpeditinahalf. "So,apartyyousay?where?" Brunorevealedtheinvitationfromhisbackpack."It'sall writteninhere!"Hehandedherandshereaditaloud."So?DoI havemyselfadate?"

  Clairesmiled."Certainlyyoudo!"Sheassuredhimandhe flinchedhisfiststriumphantly."But--canIbringafriend?It's justIhategoingplaceswithoutherandshelovesbigparties!"

  WithouthesitationBrunoagreed."Ofcourse!Although that'sasinglepersoninvite!"Hesaidthoughtfully."Well,you canhaveanotherone,I'llhavetofigureoutmyentrance."

  "Butit'syourcompany'sparty,whywouldyouneedan entrance?"

  Hegrinnedcharmingly."Noonewouldrecognizemeevenif IcrythatI'mtheowner'sgrandson!"

  Clairelaughedheartily."You'resuchatroublemaker,aren't you?"

  "Afamilyblacksheep!"Helaughed."AndIloveplaying incognito,trustme!"Herepliedandtheysharedalaugh. WhenClairetoldGenaaboutit,theformerwasenthralled andimmediatelystartedplanningforwhattowearandbunchof otherstuffs.It'sherbestfriend'scontiguousenthusiasmthat Clairelikedthemostabouther;sheneededherasmuchasher neededshe.

  THEdayofthepartyhadfinallyarrived,andthetwobestfriends werealreadymovingforthefunctionatsomefancyhotelinthe city.Brunowasoutsidedressedinabody-fitblacktuxedo,trying tocallClairewhowasalmostthere.Afterashortwhile,Ataxi pulledoverandthetwoladiesdroppedoff.

  Bothwerestunninglybeautiful;Genawasinaredballgown, herstraightAsianhairpartedtothesides;shewasoriginally fromJapanbeforeadoption.Clairewaswearingalong,backless dresswithaplungedV-neckandathighlengthslit;sheknew fashionandkeptherownstyleregardlessthetrend.They walkednonchalantlytowhereBrunowasstandingasifhe'dlost hismobility.

  "Okay,iftheyoungerlookslikethis,thenhowistheolder like?Ohgirl,you'reinareallybigtrouble!"Genamurmured. "ShutupGena!IalreadyknowwhatIsignedupforsoyou don'tneedtoremindme."Clairesnappedwithafakesmile that'sdirectedtoBruno.Hewasgrinningincredulouslyasifhis hearthadskippedabeat,withhiseyesglisteningwithpleasure astheladiestookfewwidestairstowherehewasstanding.

  "MyGod!Youlookgorgeous!"HeexclaimedandClaire smiledhumbly."Areyouladiestryingtostealthespotlight tonight?"HesaidwhilestaringatGenanext;shetoosmiled casually.

  "Youlookstunningyourselfblacksheep!Tuxreallytreats yougood."Clairesaid."Youshouldwearmoreoften."Shejoked, andhewavedhishandasifshewasspittingnonsense.

  "Meandtux?"Heremarked."Nah!It'scrampingmystyle." Theyallsharedabrieflaughter.

  "Um--thisismybestfriendGena,GenameetBruno,my newestfriend!"Clairegavethemaquickintroduction. "HiBruno,heardalotaboutyou?"Genabroke. "GoodstuffsIhope?"Herepliedwithfriendlypeckand partialhug. Theywalkedinsidethegrandballroomatoneofthehotel affiliatedwithSK,withBrunoplayingphotographerfrom whatevermagazinehementionedtothesecurityteam.The roomwasinround,andpeoplefilleditwhereaselegantasall thecarsparkedoutside.Ithadthreeopenfloorsarrangedlike sidebalconies,inwhichotherguestswerewerechattingwith champaignflutesorsomeotherkindsofextravagantdrinkswith fancyappetizers.Theplacehaduniquearchitecturaldesignand itwasquitefancy.Brunoledthemtoabigwell-decoratedround table,wheretheyallsettledbutheexcusedhimselfforaminute foruntoldreason.Genabusiedherselfwithherphoneasif textingsomeone,andClairewasgettingfamiliarwiththeparty bywanderinghergazearound.

  That'swhenshespottedsomeonewhoasalways,managed totakeherbreathaway;Ryan.Shedrewinalongoneatthe sightofhim;unlikeothers,hewasdressedcasuallyincream cropped-pantsandaquamarinestylishcoat;theshirtbeneath washalfbuttonedandClairecouldclearlyseeitevenfroma distance.Hewassmilingforcedlyatsomecouple,whilesipping hisdrink,withanotherhanddugtohispantspocket.Afemale voice,thatdreweveryone'sattention,hitthemicrophoneasit commencedtheeventthatwastotakeplace.Claireknewright awaythatitwasDoris's,andlookedather;Justasshealways was,soclassy,sofine,soelegant;sheworeasuit,slim-fitand thesamecolorasRyan'sjacket.Clairefrownedrightaway, feelingexquisitelyangry;itquiteimpossibletolikeDoris,she hadperfectlyaccepted.

  ITwasRyan'stimetotakethespotlight.Hisexhibitionatthe frontwaswelcomedwithawarmroundofapplausebeforehe clearedhisthroattospeak;

  "Thankseveryoneforbeingheretonight!"Hesaid."It'sour greatpleasuretocelebratethefifty..."hecontinuedwithhis celebratoryspeech,amidstwhichhisconfidentgazecollided withClaire'sfromsomewhereamongtheguests.Hecontinued hisspeechwithaprefectindifferencebeforeannouncingthe presenceoftheSKchairman,Mr.Stevenshimselfwhoappeared likeayoungsterinhisgreysuit.Theapplauseswereexceedingly towardshim.

  Brunofinallyreturned,andthefirstthinghedidwasasking; "Areyougirlscomfortable?"withhischarmingsmilethatdrew hisfaintdimples.

  "Yeah,wearegood"Genareplied,andClaireseconded."Oh, yourgrandfatherlooksyoung!NowIknowwhereyouallget yourgreatlooksfrom!"GenaaddedandBrunogiggled.

  "Yeah!Andhelooksveryenergetictoday."Clairesaidwitha warmsmile. "I'mjustgladthere'snopartofintroducingfamilymembers! Ihatethecharade!"Brunosaid,andtheyalllookedathim. "What?I'mjustbeinghonest,canyouimaginemeeting someonewhoaskswhataccomplishmentsyouhaveinlife.I mean,whatisthat?It'stotallyobnoxious!"

  "Ohhe'sright!Ihatethatmyself,"saidGenawhiletasting thecaviars."It'ssohardbeingwithpeoplewhomeasurea person'svaluewiththekindofjobandaccomplishmentsthey have!"

  Clairesighed."That'stheharshreality!Ifwe'reallthesame thenwhat'sthecoloroflife?Letthembe,andletusbe.Cheers!" Sheraisedherglassandthetwojoinedin.Frankly,shewasfar awayfromtheirconversation;sheonlyeyedonepersonwho eyedherbackwithgallant.

  Harryappearedoutoftheblue,andplacedahandon Bruno'sshoulderasawaytoannouncehispresence."Sucha greatcompanyyouhavehereBruno!"

  "Heydude,what'sup?"Brunosaidtohimlaughingly.Gena pinchedClaireonherthighthatshenearlyjumped."Ohthese aremyfriends,sheisClaireandthat'sGena."Brunointroduced themandtheysaidhellotoeachother.

  "HarryRys!"Harrygavethemahandshakeinturnswhile havingaseat."Claire?IthinkI'veheardquitemuchaboutyou." hesaid,butseeingherexpressionheimmediatelyadded,"Oh forgivemeforbeingbrutallyhonest,it'sjust,keepingsecrets betweenthefourofushasbecomealmostimpossible,sotryto understand,andtrustme,I'dreallylovetochangethat."He triedtoflatthetensionanditreallyworked;heappearedtobe goodwithwordsandeveninsettlingmoods.Hewasblack,not bulkybutfitandhadveryniceteethandeyes.

  "It'sokay!"SaidClairetruthfully,"Itwasn'tasecretanyway." shesmiled.ShestartedwonderingifRyanhadalsotoldhim aboutthekissandallthetimeshared,butimaginingRyanashe seemed,shehighlydoubted.

  "Okay,whoisthisoneagain?"Genawhispered,whenthe guyskepttheirownchatawayfromtheirs. "Youjustheardhim,HarryRys,AndIknowthatlook,and thefactthatyouhaveathingforblackguys!So,allthebest girlfriend!"Clairerepliedknowinglywithasipofchilly champagne,afterabiteoftastyappetizer.

  "Heyshutup!I'monlycheckingpossibilitieshere."Gena nudgedherandtheysharedalaugh. Aftersomeminutesofconversingdelightfully,withallfour ofthemintopic,theysuddenlyhadapleasureofhavingDoris approachingtheirway,holdingRyan'shandwhilecongratulating himforthenicespeechandhefortheperfectpartyshehad turneditaspromised.Thetablewasenoughforsixpeople,so thetwosatdownandgreetedtheothers.Clairestaredatthem blankly,hidingthefuryconsumingherinside.

  Dorisrestedhergazestraightonher. "HelloClaire,Ialmostcouldn'trecognizeyou;youlook stunningtonight!"Shesaid."Ishould'veguesseditwasyou Brunowasdyingtoinvite!"Shethrewhimamischievousgrin andheonlyshookhishead.

  Iwishyoudidn'tthough.Clairethought,referringtoDoris's firstremark."Thankyou."Shesmiled."Youlookbeautifultoo, infactyoualwaysdo."sherepliedandDorisblushed."AndI'm gladBrunowaskindenoughtoinviteme,he'ssucha gentleman."Sheadded.

  "Thankyoubeautiful,it'smygreatpleasure!"Bruno respondedwithhisbestsmile,andtherestalingeringsmile exceptDoriswholaughed,seemingamused.

  Genaeyedherbestfriendsuspiciouslyassheshiftedher eyestoRyan;sheunderstoodperfectlytheironybehindher wordsandmostespeciallywhatshewasabouttosay.

  "HiRyan,Ienjoyedyourspeech!"Clairesaidpointedly,with aninexplicablelook. "ThanksClaire,I'mgladyoudid!"Ryanreturned,similarlyin manners,andstaredoneanotherinalanguageonlytheirminds knew.

  Clairefeltlikepluckinghiscyniceyesrightthereandthen; sheclenchedherfistsunderthetablebeforeturningtoGena andsaid;

  "I'mgoingtotherestroom."Shegotup."Youshouldput yourAsiancharmstouseifyouwanttocapturetheblackhottie, thatisifhe'savailablebecauseapparently,allmenaredogs!" NowsheglaredgravelyatRyan,whowassmilingatsomething Dorishadjustmentionedagain.

  "Um--okay?"Genareplied.Sh
eknewherbestfriend's temperandatthemomentitwaspilingupherthroat. ClairewhisperedsomethingtoBrunoandhenoddedbefore returningthewordswhilepointingdirections.Shewalkedaway afterwards,withRyan'seyestailingherdiscreetly.Shehadno needforarestroomotherthanusingitasanescaperoute; escapingfromthepryingeyesofnoneotherthanRyanwhomby thenwasabigbastardinhereyes.

  "Thatjerk!"Shesnappedbetweenherteethonceinsidethe ladiesroom. Shewasstandingbythemirror,inclinedbythemassive cleansink.Shewasbreathingcapriciouslywithanger.Thesight ofRyanarrivingwithhisawfullybeautifulgirlfriendwithhis shamelessfacekeptremindinghowstupidshe'dbeenbyfar. Shestaredthereflectionbeforeher,andknewthatshewas beautifultoo;shedidn'tneedanyone'sapprovaltobelievethat. Withherlooks;tall,longprettyhair,tannedskinand proportionatefigurethatfittedanytypeofclothesshewore;she couldhavehadanyothermaneatherpalmifshewantedto, butthenwhyRyanStevens?Shewondered.

  HehadprovedtobenothingbutaPlayboywhotook pleasureinplayingaroundwithanewface.Atleastthat'swhat Clairebelieved.Shesnatchedapowderfromhersilverclutch andretouchedherface.Therewasanolderwomanbesideher, butshecouldn'tcarelessofthatlady'sfacialopinionregarding theenragedlookofherface.Whendoneshedrewinanother longbreath,readytofacewhomeverwantstoplayher enormousego.

  "ClaireLevy?"Thatwoman'svoicecalledafterherjustas shewasabouttoleave.Startled,Claireturnedaroundtosee whoshewas,andhowsheknewhername,andinfull."It'syou right?"Thewomanadded,withasmilethistime.

  "Mrs.Johansen?"Claireresponded. Shecouldn'tbelievehereyeswhensherealizedthewoman standingbeforeherwasthemotherofDenis,herex.She hurriedoverandsharedahug;shewaslikeasecondmotherto her.

  "MyGod!Lookatyousweetie,you'reawomannow!"The womansaid,andClairesmiled."YouusedtocallmeauntGloria soI'dliketohearthatinsteadofMrs.Johansen!"

  Clairelaughed."OkayauntGloria!Whendidyoucomeback? LasttimeIcheckedyouguyswerestillabroad." "We'vebeenhereforaweek,andit'sonlyyesterdaythat Denisaskedifwe'vegotintouchwithyou.Whatacoincidence tofindyouhere!"

  "OhDenis!Howishe?Hehasn'tcomebackyet?" "No,butI'msurehe'llbeecstatictohearaboutthis,let's getoutofhere,I'mdone."Gloriatoldherandtheyslowlyleft therestroom."Sohowhaveyoubeenmydear?I'msosorrythat wecouldn'tmakeitforyourfather'sfuneral."

  "It'sokayandI'mfine,Iknowyouhadproblemsofyour ownatthetime,"Clairereplied."andspeakingofwhich,howis uncledoingnow?Ishewithyounow?"

  "Ofcoursedarling!DoyouthinkIcouldattendthese businesspartieswithouthim?I'ddieofboredom."Theyshared alaughonthewaybacktotheballroom,andClairefollowed hertotheirtablewhereshemetMr.Johansen.Hetoo,justlike hiswife,wasdelightedtoseeClaire.

  "IswearIwouldn'thaverecognizedherifIsawherpassing by."Saidhetohiswife. "Ohcomeonguys,haveIchangedthatmuch?"Claire promptedlaughingly.Whileexchangingstorieswithherex's parents,shespottedRyanonceagainamongthecrowd.Hewas atthesecondfloor,talkingtosomebig-belliedmanwithDorisin themiddle.

  Couldn'tDorisleavehimaloneforasecond?Tobreath maybe?Clairethought,disdainfully,butimmediatelyomitted theideas.LaterafterhermomentwiththeJohansen's,shemade herwaybacktoheroriginaltablewhereGenaseemedpretty muchoccupiedwithherchattingwithHarry.Thetwowere laughingasifthey'vebeenconversingforawhilelonger.Bruno wasnowheretobeseen,andjustasClairemadeaturntothe particularsideoftheroom,ahandgrabbedherarmandstarted pullingherawayfromtheballroom.

  "Shutupandfollowme!Unlessyouwanttomakeascene ofcourse."Itwasaveryfamiliarvoiceandshefrownedatthe sight.

  "What'swrongwithyouRyan?"Clairebarked."You're hurtingme!"Shelamentedbutheplayeddeaf;hedraggedher insidetheelevatorjustassomeoneelsegotoutofit.Thetwin elevatordoorsmarried,andthetwowerealoneinsideitscabin. CHAPTER9

  Onceinsidethecabin,closedandalone,Clairedetachedherself forcefullyfromRyan'sgrip."Letgoofmeyoubrute!"Shebarked angrily.

  Ryanlaughed,anddidasshewanted."Brute?"heremarked. "Me?"

  "Yesyou!Howdareyoudragmearoundlikethis?"She snapped.

  "I'msorrythatIpulledyoulikethat,"Hesmiled."butI'm notabrute!" "Ohplease!"Sherolledhereyes,catchingabreath."And whatdoyouwantnow?Tiredplayingtheperfectboyfriendand inneedofanewtoy?Whydon'tyoujustletmegoyouidiot?My friendiswaitingforme."Sheclearlyshoutedathim.

  "WellIthinkyourfriendisinbetterhandsasweare speaking,Idoubtthatshe'seventhinkingofyouatthemoment, andIdon'tneedanewtoy!"Ryanreplied,closingthedistance betweenthemastheelevatorascendedup.

  "Nonsense!"Clairemovedback,andcollidedwiththe goldenfacadeofthewall.

  "Youlooksobeautifultonight!"Heateherwithhiseyes."I couldbarelystepmyeyesoffyou."Headded.

  "StopRyan!"Shesnapped."I'mnotfallingforyoursleazy lines,anddon'tyoucomecloser!"Shewarnedandheonly smiled,bemused. "It'snotaline,it'sthepurefact."Hesaid,andhisbodywas adotfromher. "IswearRyanIfyoutrytok--"andthatwastheendofher sentenceasheattackedhersoftlipswithhertrappedbythe wallandkissedherasthoughhewasdyingtodosotheentire night.Dividedbetweenherdesiresoverhim,andurgestoresist histemptation,Clairefoundherselfstrugglingandatlast pushedhimbackwithapunch.

  "Argh!"Hegrimaced."You'rethebruteone!Damnit!"Ryan feignedthepainfromherlittlepunch,andbrokeintoalaughter secondslater.

  "Isaiddon'ttouchme!"Shesnapped,wipingoffthetraceof hismouthonhers.

  Helaughedhard,andshekeptfuming."Fine,butIknow youlikeit." "Youknow,you'recrazy!"Shesquintedhereyes,completely stunnedbyhisabilitytobeshameless,andatthesamemoment thedanglingsoundoftheelevatorstoppingwasheard,andthe doorsparted.

  "Crazy?"Heprompted."Youhaven'tseenthecrazyyet!"He grabbedherwristandforcedherout. "What'sthematterwithyouRyan?Whataredoing?"She screamedandheopenlyignoredherprotest."You'resucha maniac!Whereareyoutakingme?"

  "Somewhereprivate."Hereplied,casually.

  "What?"Sheexclaimed."Ryanwhereisthisplace?"She addedfrantically,atthesightofaquiethallwaywithadim goldenlights,andnumberofdoorsoneithersides.

  "Justshutupforasecond,woman!"Heyelled. "Ohno!"Shemuttered.She'dgraspedtheywereheading intoahotelroom,asherevealedakeycardfromhisbluejacket. "No,RyanI--"Sheresistedbutheproceededwiththeswipeand thedooropened.

  "OhyesClaire!Thisone,istherealcrazy!"Hereturnedand forcedherin.

  "Ryanstopthisnonsense!Peoplearewaitingforusoutside andespeciallyyou." "TheycanallgotohellforallIcare!"Hesaid,withouta smilethistime;helookedmadallofasudden."What'syour dealwithBruno?"Heasked,whileturningthelightsonwiththe remotecontroller.

  ForasecondClairewaslostatthesightofthathugeand beautifulmodernlyfurnishedsuite;butitwasn'timportantat thetime."What?Andwhywouldyoucare?"Sheglaredathim. SothatwasallaboutBruno,Shewonderedanditamusedher wildmind,forsomestupidreasons.

  Hechargedcloserandheldherfirmly."No,Idon'tcare."He said."Ijustdon'tliketheideaofyougivingmybrotherthe wrongimpressionjustsothatyoucanhurtme!"

  Hurthim?ThatnevercrossedClaire'smindatall;butitdid soundlikeabadideacomingfromRyanhimself.Shepulled herselfoutofhisgrip."Icouldneveruseyourbrothertohurt you."Shetoldhim."IcareforBrunoverymuch,andheonly likesmeasafriendwould;justsoyouknow,notevery relationshiphastoinvolvethefakekissesandhugs."

  "Whatdoyoumeanfakekissesandhugs?"Heretorted. "Youknowperfectlywellyouasshole!Justlikeyoursfor instance."Sherepliedandmovedawayfromhimbypacing aroundhisluxurioussuitethatuntilthenshehadnoideaofwhy hehadoneinafirstplace.

  "You'rereallytastingmeClaire!"Hesighed. "Thinkwhateveryouwant."Shesaid."Besides,whydoesit evenmattertoyou?ImeanteveryworldIsaidbackthere;your brotherwastheonewhoinvitedmehere,unlikeyouwhohad alltheimportunitiesintheworldbutstilldidn't."Shebarkedat him,accusingly."OhIknow,howcouldyou?Withyourbeautiful girlfriendinvolved?"Shekeptrapping.

  Ryanlaughedatthementionofhisbeautifulgirlfriend;he'd alwayslaughwheneverClairementionedDoris,asthoughitwas somethingamusing."IwantedtoinviteyouClaire,but--"

  "StopyoursleazyexcusesRyan!"Shewavedherhand."You know,IshouldbewithBrunorightnow,andnotinsidethisGodforsakenhotelroomwithyou!"Sheattemptedtowalkpasthim buthestoppedher.

  "Pleasedon'tgoClaire,IpromiseI'llmakeituptoyou." Ryanuttered,refrainingherbodyfrombehind. "Whywouldyoumakeituptome?"Shesmirked."Meand youhavenothing,soyoudon'thavetomakeupforanyshit!" ShesaidwhiletryinghardtoresisttheimpactofRyan'schest againsthernakedback,andhisstubbornhandsaroundher tummy.

  "Really?Doyoureallythinkwehavenothing?"

  "Yes,itsthetruth."

  "WhyareyoutryingtodenywhatyouwantClaire?"Heheld tightly."Orsh
ouldIsay,whatyourbodywants?"Hewasnow breathingthewordsagainstherearlobe,whiletrailinghis fingersonherbellytowardsherfairlyplumpchest,makingher squintandshuddering.

  Claireclosedhereyestoregaincontrolofhermind,and swirledaroundtofacehim,withoutbreakinghisgriparoundher. "Doyourealizewhatajerkyouare?"Sheasked.

  Hesmiled."Iam?" "Yesyouare."Shereturned,withclenchedteeth."Soyou broughtmeherejustsothatyoucanhavemybody?Isthat whatyouwantfromme?"

  "NoClaire,Ineversaidthat."Heeyedhertremblinglips, mockingly."It'syouwhowantsmybody."Hesaidblatantlywith asmirk.Hiseyesnarrowedwithpleasureofseeinghermadand turnedattheon,atthesametime.

  Theremarkhadleftherveryflustered."What...whatare yousaying?ThatIwantyourbody?Areyousick?" Hesmiledyetagain."What?Don'tyou?Don'tyouwantto knowhowItfeelslikehavingmecloseanddeepinsideyou? Howmyrealkissestaste,andallthethingsIcoulddotoyou?" Hecontinuedthesweetassaultofhishandsalloverherback andalittledowntoherbutt.

  "No!"Sheyelled."Andthisconversationisover."Shesaid, andtriedtomove;butagain,shegotpulledevencloserand endeduplandingontohislips.Shetriedtowriggleinresistance, buthewastoodeterminedtolethergo.Andhislipsweretoo enchantingforhertoletthemgo;theirtonguesmolded togetherwhiletheirhandsstartedmovinghereandthere.

  "Don'ttrytodenywhatyouwantClaire!"Ryanwhispered, andshewaspantingheavily,feelinghisfingerssliding underneathherpants,andrightinsidethepartnoonehad touchedinyears.

  "Ryanpleasedon't--"shemoaned,whenhisfingerslowly encircledthatsensitivespot,makinghersquirmcrazily.She hungrilypulledhisfacetoclaimhislipsfrombycockingherface overtheshoulder,tomeethisrightbehindher.Thenextthing Clairerealizedwasthatshewasalreadyonbed,atRyan'smercy, feelinghishardbodypoundingveraciouslyagainsthers,ashis hardlengthfilledherlittlebylittle,inamostpleasurableway thatshehadneverknownexisted.Sheonlymoanedhisname, dughernailsintohisflesh,androckedherwaisttocatchuphis pace.

  CLAIREwaswrappedwithawhitesheetwhileseatedonahuge bedinsidethehotelroom.Shewasstaringatthescreenofher cellphonewithfewmissedcallsandtextsfromGenaaskingof herwhereabouts.Shedecidedtocallher.