CLAIRE: (is it really love)

by Grace Gervas

  "So,whatareyouguysgoingtodo?Imight'veruinedyour workbecauseofmyfoulmouth!"Sheworried. "We'llhavetorevisethedesigns,nowayout."Heshrugged. "Besides,weweren'texpectingago-aheadrightaway,everyone knowshowdemandingRyanis;helikesthingstobeperfect."

  WiththatClairehadnothingtoargue;sheknewRyanwell enoughtoknowthatfact.Theyarrivedthelobby,andwhile headingout,herphonebuzzed.Shefrownedseeingthatitwas Ryancallingher;sheansweredafteralittlehesitation.

  "Whatisitsir?"Shebarked.Nathanhaltedasshestopped moving.

  "It'sRyan,I'mnotyoursir!Don'tgoanywhere,waitforme." Ryantoldherfromtheotherend. Shefrowned."Ihavetogobacktotheoffice,ifthisisn't aboutworkthenpleasestopwastingmy--"shestoppeddead whenshesawhimapproachingfromtheanotherelevatorthat wasforexecutivesonly.

  "Thereyouare!"Ryansaidbeforehangingup.Hemarched towardsthem,surroundedwithhisauthoritativeaurathat evidentlyprovedhimabossamongeveryoneelse.Hestopped beforeNathanandtoldhim,"YoucangoaheadbyyourselfMr. Panther,IhavesomewheretogowithClaire."

  Clairegawped,andsodidNathan."Oh--okay!"Nathan repliedbeforeexchangingglanceswithhispartner. "Howdareyou?"ClairesnappedathimonceNathangone. Ryangrabbedherbythewrist."Comeon,let'sgetoutof here!" Shepulledoffsavagely."Stopit!I'mnotgoinganywhere withyou!Whodoyouthinkyouaretoordermearound?"She raisedhervoice,obliviousofthefacttherewereseveralSK employeesatthelobbywhowerecurrentlytakingnoteof whatevertheirbosswasdoing;Ryandidn'tgiveadamn.

  "Oh,doyoupreferIdragyoubyforceorcarryyoulikea sackofrice?"Heasked. Seeinghowserioushewas,Claireendedupgettingpulled awayfromthelobbywithhishandholdinghers.Ashealways did,RyanopenedthepassengerdoorforClaireandsheshe stoodtheremotionlessindicatingshewon'tcomplyofwhatever hewanted.

  "DoIhavetouseforceagainClaire?Isaidgetin!"He repeatedforthethirdtime. "IsaidI'mnotgoinganywherewithyou!Can'tyougetthat inyourthickskull?"Shescreamedathim,andheonlyrolledhis eyes.

  "Ohyoureallylovechallenges,Damnit!"Ryansnapped,and whatfollowedwasClairebeingpushedinsidethecarlikeachild. "Ryan?Ryanstopdoingthismad--"Claireputaresistance butallinvain;shewasalreadyinandthedoorslammed afterwards."Youanimal!"Sheyelledafterhimandearneda crookedsmilefromhimashepacedaroundtopossesadriver seat.

  Theridecommencedinaboveaveragespeed,withClaire pantingmadlywhilechirpingaboutgoingbacktowork,andhow angryandsickhemadeherfeel.Ryanpaidnoattentiontoher ranting;instead,whileatit,hepluckedhiscellphoneandmade acallduringwhichshewasglaringathimwithbewilderment. Sheunderstoodrightawayhewastalkingtosomeonefrom Starlight.

  "YesIt'sme!"Hesnappedoverthecall."ClaireLevywon't returntoworktoday,Ineedherto..."hekeptsayingto whomeverhewastalkingto,bossily."Right,Good!"Andhehung up.

  "What...whatareyoudoing?Areyoucrazy?"Claire snapped."WhatdoyoumeanI'mnotgoingbacktoworkand thatyouneedme?Whatfor?"

  Ryansmiled."Crazyagain?Ithoughtyoualreadyhavean answerformymentalstate,OhjustshutupClaire,Itwilldoyou good!"

  "You'resick!Soverysick!"

  "Seatbelt!"

  "What?"

  "Isaidputonthedamnseatbelt!"Herepeated,inmoreof anorderthanasimplereminder.Withaheavy,frustratedsigh Clairecomplied.

  TheyhadasilentdriveuntilRyan'scarpulledoverintoan undergroundgarageatsomefancybuildinginaveryravishing street.Clairewantedtoopenhermouthbutdecidedtokeep calm;dealingwithRyanusingwords,hasbyfar,provedtobe totallyuseless.Hegotoutthecarfirst,andopenedthedoorfor hisangrycompanion.Clairescowled,andwithmuchreluctance, whichmadeRyanchuckleasshedramaticallydroppedoff.

  "Nowwhat?Whereareyoutakingme?"Shebarked. "Justfollowme!"Hesaidandasalways,shetriedtoprotest.

  Ignoringherresistance,hegrabbedherhandanddragged herwithhimtowardsaveryhideouselevatorthatwasdown there,andbothentered.

  Heseemedtobetheonlyonewithanaccessanditdrove themuptothefoyerofsomeapartment,agradapartmentthat leftClairealittledazzled.Itwassuchabeautifulandfancy apartmentwithanoceanviewviait'senormousbaywindow;it lookedboyishandstyling.

  Clairemovedtothewindowandstaredoutsidefora momenttocatchherbreath,beforeturningaroundwithher armsfoldedacrossherchest,readytobattlewithhim.

  "AndmayIknowwhatisthisplace?"Sheaskedinaserious toneofvoice. "Myhomeofcourse!"Ryanansweredwhiletakingoffhis jacket,followedbythenecktieandheadtothelargeopen kitchenunravelledafterthelivingroom.

  "Whatwillyouhave?Wine,coffee?"AskedRyanwhile moving. Shescoffed,unabletobelievehisutterlyconfidentgestures. "OfcourseIdon'twantanything!"Shereturned"Justtellme whyyoubroughtmetoyourhome,asyouclaim,whileIshould beworkinglikeeveryothernormalpersonsoutthere?"shekept whining.

  Ryancamebackwithabottleofwater;heopenedand gulpedahalfofit.Thenhesatdownandorderedhertodothe same.ForonceClairedidasasked,butwithmuchdifficultyas herheelskepttappingthefloorrestlesslyuntilRyanfinally decidedtospeak;

  "Whyareyouignoringme?I'vecalledyoutwicethis weekendandyoudeliberatelychosetoignorethemall,and evenmytexts!"

  "Ohyoumeanyourtwomissedcallsandonemessage?" ClairerepliedsarcasticallyandRyannarrowedhiseyes."You musthavereallytriedyourbesttoreachmewiththosesleazy attemptsofyours,huh?Imeanthreetrialsandyou'rehere complaining?"

  Ryan'slipsturnedintoanamusedlaughterwhenhelooked atherface."Soyouthinkitwasn'tenough?WouldyoupreferI calledyounonstopandsentyoubundleoftextsinstead?"

  Clairegotup,flustered."No!Ineversaidthat."Shereplied, andhearchedhiseyebrows."I'monlysayingthatyoucould have,wait,you'reonlytryingtoevadethemainissuehere.Why weevendiscussingthis?"

  "Becauseyouwantto?"Ryansaidinmockery.

  "Ofcoursenot!Ryan,justtellmewhatallthischarade's aboutsothatwecangetitoverwith!I'mnotinthemoodtoplay

  yourgames!"Shetoldhimstrictly.

  "Nothingmuch,Ijustwantedtospendtimewithyou; becauseImissedyou!" "Doyouevenlistentoyourself?"Clairegawped.Itwas impossibleforhertounderstandhimevenalittle."Doyou really?"

  "Mostofthetimes!"Heanswered. "YouaresuchabastardRyanStevens,whodoyouthinkI am?Aslutwithnodignity?OhIknow,apoorCinderellawhois mistreatedbyherevilstepmom,andonedayshefindsahiding shelterinthearmsofaPrincecharming,isthatit?"Sherapped andRyanremainedquietlisteningtoherwhim,hiseyes glisteningwithbothpleasureanddiscomfort.

  "I'veneversaidsuchathing."Hesaidcalmly. "Idon'tknowwhyyoubroughtmehere,butI'msureDoris doesn'thavetheslightestidea."Shetoldhim."AndifImay, pleaseletmeaskyouthispolitely."shesaidhaltingly,andsat nexttohimsoastolookhimcloselyintheeyes."Pleaseletto go."

  "Claire,"Ryanutteredwhenherealizedthechangeonher facialexpression;thehintofchallenge-orientedwomanwasall gone.

  "RyanStevens,Sir,pleaselet'sfinishtheprojectpeacefully andgotowherewetrulybelong."Shesoftlysaid."Yes,Iadmit thatyou'vemanagedtoshakemeupforamoment;Iforgotmy place,myprinciplesandevenmydignity;butyouknowwhat? That'sasfarasI'mwillingtogo.I'mdonewiththis,Ican'tafford tobetheotherwoman,theevilone!"Shegotupslowlyandtook herhandbagbeforewalkingtowardsthedoor.

  "SothisisallaboutDoris?"Ryansnapped. Shestaredbackathim,wonderingwhatwasreallythe matterwithhim."Yeahit'sallabouther."Sheranted."So,canI gonow?"sheblurtedoutplainly.

  Ryanwalkedoverandstoodinfrontofher;hisfacetakinga seriousturn."Areyoufeelingguiltyorsomething?"heasked. Washeserious?Sheletoutasmirkandbitherlipssavagely. She'dstartedtothinkhewasreallyoutofhismind;thatshewas probablydealingwithamentalpatient,asylummental.

  "YourgirlfriendDoris,"shestarted."doyouevenloveher?" Sheaskedhimflatly.Itwasaquestionshewasburningtoask himforawhile,andseeinghimneutralfacemadehersmile exhaustedly.

  "Doesitmatter?"Hequeried,andshehuffedatiredlaugh. "Itwasastupidquestion,wasn'tit?becauseyouknowwhy? Peoplelikeyou,don'tevenknowwhatloveis;letalonehowto loveanyone!"Sheaddedinalowvoice,andRyanburstedout laughing,whichmadeherwayangrier;sheswallowed.

  "Let'ssayyou'reright."Hereplied,asifplayingwithher. "YouthinkI'majoke,right?"Thistimehereyeswerefilled withtearsthatwerereadytofallasshecoldlyglaredathim. "Whatifsheweren'tmygirlfriend?Wouldyouhavespared methedrama?"Ryanasked. "Thedrama."Claireutteredsoftlytoherself.Shepressed herlipstogethertocatchabreathasheremotionsstarted gettingthebestofher."Okay,SoifIsayyes,whatwouldyoudo? Wouldyouleaveherforme?"Shesnappedoutaloud.Ryanwas silent,anindescribablesilence."See?Youcan'tevenanswerthat! JustletmegoRyan,andforgetaboutmeasIwillyou!"

  "Doyouwantmetoleaveher?"Heaskedatlast. "Canyou?"Sheretorted.

  "Doyou?"Hesnorted.


  "No!Justdonothing,asshole!"Clairebarkedandreached forthedoorwhichwasalreadyconfusing;therewasoneregular door,andalsoanelevatordoorthatrequiredapasscode.

  "Youwon'tbeabletogetoutofhereClaire,unlessIlet you!"Ryanspokehaughtilybehindher.Sheclenchedherfists angrilybeforeturningaroundandpumpedintohischest;his cynicsmilewidenedandhefirmlytightenedherbythewaist. "Youcan'tescapemeClaire!You'llneverescapeme!"Heplaced hisforeheadagainsthersbutshejerkedaway.

  "Don't.Even.Think.AboutdoingthatRyan!"Clairesaid betweenhergrittedteeth. "Ohyeah?Andwhatwillyoudo?Beatmeup?Screamfor help?WhatClaire?Tellme!"Hegrinned,whilebreathingunder againstherneck;sheshuthereyesinattempttolockher treacherousfeelings.Shetriedtowrigglearoundjusttogetout ofhisstronggrip,butasexpected;itwasafool'serrandandshe wasonlyexhaustingherself.Ryanheldherfirmlyfrombehind, herhandstwistedbacktorefrainanykindofstrongmovefrom heruntilsheclearlysaid;

  "Okay,Okayyouwin!Justreleasemyhands,ithurts!"she surrenderedwhenalreadyoutofbreath. "VeryGood!That'swhatIlikeClaire;whenyou'repoliteand obliging!"Ryanutteredwithabigsmilebeforereleasingher hands.That'swhensheturnedaroundandstartedhittinghim nonstoponhishardchest.

  "Youanimal,howcouldyoudothistome!Howdareyou--" sheyelledbutinaninstance,hermouthwassilencedbyRyan's hotlipsclaiminghers,andherhandswereforcefullyrestrained toherbehindandmadehertrappedandhelpless."You--"she keptfightingback,buttheheatthatstartedbuildingupinside herbodymanagedtoceaseallhermoves.Sheslowly,and gradually,yieldedtoRyan'ssweettortureandsensualassaultas herockedhistongueinaverytantalizingway.

  "Can'tyou--"Ryanspokedamidstthekissing."Justbeas quiet--"headded."Asthis?"Heliftedherandsheencircledher legsabouthiswaist.

  "Ican't--"Clairebreathedthewordstohismouthwhile pressinghardtowardshim."You.Are.Abeast!"Shewrappedhis neckandcontinuedhavingthetasteofhislipsasheheavily droppedheronthesectionalcouch.

  "Thebeasthuh?Ilovebeingthebeast!"Hesaidandripped offherblouse.

  "Ryan!"Clairescreamed."Howcouldyou!"Shesnappedbut hiscarnivorousgrinmadeherdecideitwasn'tworththesweat. "Ican."Hesaid,hiseyesfilledwithdesirestopossesher,as hepeelingoffhisshirtthatwasalreadyunbuttoned. "Brute!You'resuchabrute!That'swhatyouare."She mutteredwhilepullinghimovertoherfacehungrily.Withher hipsswayingbeneathhisweight,shefelthimgrowingagainst her;hislustfuleyeskeptmockingherwhilekissingandteasing everysensitivepartofherbody,withoutundressing;wellexcept herrippedblousethatwaslyinghelplesslyontherug.

  "OhfuckitClaire!Youdrivemenuts!"Ryangrumbled feelingherfingersslidinghismanhoodwhenshesuddenly flippedhimoverandunbuckledhispantsinaswift.Hergrinding ontopofhimwasenoughtoturnhispredatorylibidoawake.

  "Shutup!"Sheorderedandhebithisbottomlipssmilingly. "Naughtylittlething,OhdamnitClaire!"hemoanedwhen herlipsfilledhiminwithanupanddownrhythm.Itwas anothertragicendforClaireLevy;againshewasinthearmsof hernewAchilles'heelandwhathemadeherfeel,wasbeyond reasons.Shewouldn'tstopscreaminghisname,andbeghim nottostop;whichRyangrantedwithpleasure. CHAPTER11

  Itwasalreadyafternoonastimewentby,withthetwolyingon thecouch.Clairedecidedtostopoverthinkingandjustlivethe momentafteralltheattemptstogoagainstRyanthatendedup failingmiserably.

  "Whydidyoudestroymyblouse?NowIdon'thaveanything towear!"shelamented.ShewaslyingoverRyan,andheonthe sectionalsofa.

  Hechuckled."IwasinahurrytoundressyouIguess!"he answeredflatlyandClairejoinedthechuckling. "You'resocrazyyouknow?"shetoldhim,whilstplaying withhisdark,low-cutbeardthatsheseemedtoadmirethemost amonghisfacialfeatures.

  "You'vesaidthatamilliontimesalready."Ryanreplied,with hishandsalloverherbody.

  Clairegiggledathismischievoustouchonherbehind. "WhatareyoudoingRyan?"

  Hesmiled."Exactlywhatyoulovemedoingamongother things!" "Psycho!"Sheuttered."Well,Ineedtousethebathroom, whereisit?"ShesaidwhiledetachingfromRyan;hegaveher thedirectionswhileatherfeet.

  "Ohthatshirtlooksbetteronyou,andthoselonglegsare sosexythatIwanttospreadthemapart!"saidRyanasClaire startedwalking. Sheburstedoutlaughingathisobtuseremarks."You shouldseeashrinkRyan,andnewsflash;Ilovemyblouse betterthanyourscentedshirt!"

  "ButIthoughtyoulovedmysmell?Whathappenedto that?"

  "ShutupRyan!"Shescreamedfaintlyashersight disappeared,leavingRyanlaughingdelightedly.

  "Don'tbemad,I'mtellingthetruth."Hescreamedafterher. Fewminuteslater."Whatareyoudoing?"ClaireaskedRyan whenshereturnedfromthebathroom;hewasinthekitchen, andsmiledatherwhenshejoinedhim."Areyoutryingto cook?"sheadded.

  "Trying?Iamcooking!"hereplied,whileslashingapacketof rawpastawithvegetableslyingonthecountertop. "Wow!Youcancook?"Clairegaspedandhenoddedwitha smallsmile.Hemovedtothesinkandstartedwashingthe veggies."Isuckinthekitchen,Idon'tknowhowtocook anything."shesaidplainly,anditwasthetruth.

  Ryanlookedatherarchly."Youdon't?" "Atall..."shesaidtruthfully,whilechewingarawcarrot; shewasleaningagainstthecabinetoppositetowhereRyanwas. "Surprised?"Sheaskeduponhissilent.

  "WhywouldI?Iwasn'tplanningtohireyoutobecomemy cookoranything!"heansweredwithaslightbrushofhiswet handonClaire'scheek,causinghertosquint,andhesmiled. "Besides,I'magreatcook;youdon'tneedtoworryabout meals!"hewinked.

  "Hah!WhywouldIevenworryaboutthat?It'snotlikeI'm goingtolivewithyousomeday!"shereturnedlaughingly. "Whynot?"askedRyan.

  "Becauseit'simpossible;it'llneverhappen."repliedClaire. "Neversayneverbeautiful."

  "Beautiful?That'sBruno's,you'rebeingunoriginal!"

  Heshrugged."WhatcanIdo?Mylittlebrotherwillhaveto forgivemeforstealingwhat'shis." "Whatdoesthatmean?"shequestionedhimandheonly smiled."RyanI'mtalkingtoyou?Doyouactuallybelievethat you'vestolenmefromBruno?That'sridiculous!"

  "Ohit'snot,he'samantoo!"heansweredandClaire burstedoutlaughingathisnaiveideaaboutBrunolikingher; shebelievedotherwise.

  "Heis,butnotapsychoassomeoneIknow."shereplied. TheycontinuedbickeringandthelaughterfilledRyan'scold apartmentthatseemedlifelessabouttwohoursago.Theylunch wasfinallyready,andtheyhaditinthebreakfasttableinthe kitchen.

  "So,howisit?"RyanaskedwhenClairetookaforkfulof pasta. "Um..."shestutteredwhilechewing."It'sperfect!Manyou surelyknowyourwayinthekitchen.It'sverydeliciousjustasit looks!"

  Ryanclaspedhishandstogetherwithreliefandhadone himself."Mm...Iamthebest!"

  Clairerolledhereyes."Modestyisneverinyourdictionary, isit?"sheremarked. "Ohit'snot!"saidhewhilediggingin,andbothshareda brieflaugh."Ahbytheway,"saidRyanhaltingly."youwere awesometoday,duringthepresentation!"

  "WasI?"Clairetagged,blushingly. "Youwere.It'slikeyoutookallthewordsfrommymouth; wehadexactlythesameideaandIwassorighttoincludeyou intheproject."

  Shesmiled."Iknowright?It'sincrediblehowwehadexactly samethoughtaboutthedesignsand...wait,itwasyou?"She glaredathim."OhIsoknewthatithadtobeyouwhopulledthe strings!"

  Ryanonlyshruggedwhilesippingthepineapplejuice."Well youkeptwhiningthatyouwantedtodosomerealjob,soIdid whatIcould...andbelieveme,itwasthebestdecision!"He said,hiseyesplayful.

  "Iwasn'twhining!"Clairesnapped."Iwasonlyventing." "Isn'titthesamething?"

  "Noit'snot!"Sheargued."Butwell,notthatI'm

  complainingthatyoudid;Ijusthopeyouwon'tintervenewith myworkagain.Imean,Idon'twantanyonetothinkI'mgetting specialtreatmentsorsomething,whichisexactlywhatIgot!"

  Whilestaringatherwithamusedeyes,Ryanasked."Why wouldyoucareofwhatotherpeoplethink?"

  "Idocare;Iwanttobeaccreditedfairandsquareandnot becauseI'msleepingwithmyboss." "Don'tworryMs.Challenge,IonlydiditbecauseIwanted togiveyouanopportunity;forwhichbyfar,you'veprovedtobe worthyof,I'mjustwaitingforournextmeetingtofinallysee whatyoucando."saidRyanandClairethankedhimforthevote ofconfidence.

  "IthinkI'vegotsomeexplainingtodowithNathan;thanks toyouramazingindiscretionSir!"Shechangedthecourseof theirconversation;andhedidn'tseemtoappreciatetheturn.

  "Don'tcallmeSir!Andwhydoyouhavetoexplainanything toPanther?"Ryanbarked. "Becausehe'smysuperior,andthankstoyouhecannow completepuzzleofwhat'sgoingon.Youcould'vejustwaitedyou know,didyouhavetodragmeinfrontofeveryoneincluding yourownemployees?"Shereturned.Onceagaintheirbickering started,andneitherofthetwowasreadytobackout.

  "Idon'toweexplanationtoanyoneClaire!"Hesnapped. "And,whatisthiswithPanther?Areyouclosetohim?" "OfcourseI'mclosetohim."Shesaid."Wearecolleagues, weworktogether,andhe'smyboss!"
Andsnorted,whilesliding theplateaside;somethingthatRyantookhintat,andfrowned.

  "Finishyourfood!"Hegrowled.

  "Excuseme?"

  "Isaid,finishyourfood!Iwanttoseethatplateclean."He repeated,withathundervoicethat'sscarierthanthefirst. Clairesighed,annoyed."Whydoyoualwaystreatmelikea child?

  "Becauseyou'rebehavinglikeone!"

  "I'mfullRyan,I'vehadmyfill,isn'tthatareasonenough?" shelied.

  "Ohnoit'snot!You'regoingtofinishthefuckingfood,and you'regoingtostopwhining!"Heordered. "Don'tsayI'mwhining!Ihateit!"

  "Thenstopdoingit!"

  Tiredofhistyranny,Clairedecidedtogobblethepastaas quicklyaspossible,whilelookingsternlyathim."Icleanedthe plate!Areyouhappynow?"shequipped,mouthful.

  "Very!"Ryanprompted,andbeforehecouldhearoradd anythingmore,hiscellphonebuzzed;heansweredfewseconds later."YesHarrywhatisit?"Hesaid,eyesonClairewhokept scowlingathim;heletoutoneofhisevilsmilesspeciallyforher, andshereturnedaharshglare."Areyousureaboutthat?"He frowned,andClaire'sfacetookasimilarexpression."Alrightdo whatyouhavetodo,I'llbetheresoon!"Hesaidbefore disconnectingthecall.

  "Whatisit?"Claireaskedhimwhenhegotupfromhisseat. "I'mgoingbacktotheoffice."Ryanrepliedwhilegulpingthe halfofhisjuice.

  Shegotupherfeettoo."You'regoing?Whataboutme?" "Iwon'ttakelong,you'llstayhereandI'lltakeyouhome later!"

  "Areyoukiddingme?WhydoIhavestayherebymyself? I'lljustgohome!"Shestartedclearingthetableinahurry. "Ohyouwill?"hemocked."How?Inmyshirt?That'sgood, goaheadandleave."helaughed. Clairefumed,ahandonherwaist."Yourippedoffmy blouseonpurpose,didn'tyou?"sheaskedandheshrugged. "Youdidittotrapmehere?SothatIwon'tleave?WhyRyan?"

  "BecauseIwantyouinmyarmstonight!Period!"He announcedproudly. Clairewastoodumbfoundedthistimetoevenretaliate;the manstandinginfrontofherwasofficiallyinsaneinhereyes. Shewipedherfaceinattempttogeteverythingstraight,and againshehadnothingtosay.StaringatRyan,hewasjust smilingasifwaitingforhertorattle,whichsheendedupdoing;

  "WhataboutDoris?Whatifsheshowsuphere?" Ryanreplied."Shewon't!" "Howdoyouknowthat?" "Iknowherwellenoughtoknow!"

  OhmyGod!Clairegaspedinwardly."Fine!JustgoRyan,I'll stayherelikeaprisoneruntilyoudecidetoreleaseme!"She answeredindefeat.