If your idea of a loving relationship is based on something out of a Hollywood movie, you’re chasing an illusion and will fail with marriage. On the other hand, if it’s based more on mutual values, pair-bonding, and creating a loving family home, you will succeed. Movies and romance novels are fictional and do not portray relationships that withstand the test of time. Holding up these fictions as the ideal of love and using them to decide if you should marry a man will certainly cause you to pursue men who will fail in their commitments to you.
We also have to account for the influence of your devil. Does he really want you to be with only one man? Does he really want you to create a family? Of course not. Your devil wants you to have fun and get back on the treadmill of seeking novelty, money, and high-status men. He will aggressively put doubts in your mind and try to convince you that the man you’re seeing is wrong for you because you aren’t feeling any butterflies. He will try to drag you back on the loveless dating carousel because being with one man is too boring for him.
A man’s devil operates in a similar way. He tells us to go back to banging promiscuous girls because it’s fun and will make us feel more masculine. He tells us that marriage is slavery and it’s better to be alone, and that the woman we’re in love with will probably cheat on us anyway.
Let your devil’s thoughts flow through you without acting on them. He will get tired after a few days or weeks and leave you alone for a while. When he does return, he will be weaker because you didn’t feed him previously. Unless your partner is waving bright-red flags that indicate he will not be a good husband, or his views on child-rearing contradict yours, you must interpret your doubts as groundless and let them harmlessly run their course.
Another reason you may be doubtful about marrying a good man is if you’re an alpha widow. If you had a short-term relationship with a very high-status man in the past, your devil will convince you that you can land a man of equal or greater status today. The problem is that the high-status man wasn’t a good prospect to begin with because he never intended to marry you, so it doesn’t make sense to compare him with a man who is willing to marry you. Don’t confuse your ability to attract men for sex with your ability to attract a man who wants to commit.
Instead of focusing on the downsides of marrying a man you don’t lust after, consider the upsides of stability and comfort. If you take my advice and find a man who sees you as a prize, he will dedicate himself to you and be resistant to straying. Any resulting marriage is sure to last. You will not have the roller-coaster emotions, the passionate fights, or the I-almost-passed-out sex, but if you do experience these things, you’re with a man who almost certainly doesn’t value stability and marriage. You can’t have it both ways. Choosing one outcome will lead to a lonely life with only a career, pets, and casual sex to keep you occupied, whereas the other will lead to a family with a husband and children to love.
I don’t buy the “I don’t settle” argument that many women have. Since there is no such thing as a perfect man who can fulfill all of your desires, you’re technically “settling” with every man you date, guaranteeing that each one will have at least one major habit, belief, or physical flaw that you’d rather he not have. Declaring that you “won’t settle” is a self-defense mechanism that helps you to conceal your failures in relationships, which are more about sacrifice and trade-offs than refusing to depart an inch from an imaginary standard, something which I often have to remind myself of.
Maintenance And Care
Most of the time, you will find that a monogamous relationship is relaxing, mundane, and loving. I do not advocate using any techniques or strategies to sustain your relationship—simply allow your natural pair-boding instinct to take over. Connect with your man, show him the totality of your personality, and be generous with your rapport and love.
Once the commitment is secure and the relationship stabilizes, you’ll have fewer worries than you did when you were single. As long as you keep in mind that your biological clock is ticking and that he should propose marriage within two years, there’s nothing else for you to stress about. I’ll now share some general guidelines on how a man likes to be treated by the woman he thinks he could marry.
It’s actually easier to explain how we don’t want to be treated. We don’t want you to treat us like we’re one of your co-workers. A relationship based on love is not the same as one based on making money or widgets, so avoid speaking or behaving in a professional, detached, and indirect way as you would when dealing with staff in the workplace. Keep the passive-aggressive politicking in the office.
You’re not our equal when it comes to leadership of the household. Your role is equal in the sense that you comprise 50% of the basis of the relationship and 50% of its importance, but when it comes to leadership, your man comprises at least 90%. Leadership is compatible with the masculine side of his nature, while submission is compatible with the feminine side of yours, but this doesn’t mean that he’s the master and you’re the slave. A leader must have the respect and consent of those he leads. You must believe that your boyfriend’s arguments and actions are correct or you will start to question his leadership and act out in subversive ways. A leader has a great responsibility to be righteous, and if your man continually leads you into misfortune or disaster, you have every right to doubt him or even leave. It’s a huge responsibility to direct other people’s lives, but as a man, I don’t have a choice because women—particularly feminine women—will not respect me if I don’t lead.
Treat your man as the captain of the ship and give him the benefit of the doubt when he makes a decision that you may not entirely agree with. Focus on the outcome of his past decisions as a way to calm your fears or doubts when he makes a new decision. Did his previous decisions help to strengthen the relationship? Did they eventually improve your situation in life? Unless they clearly didn’t, there should be no reason to doubt him.
I understand that it’s hard for you to treat a man as the captain of your life after being programmed to be a big boss who seeks to conquer the world through masculine ambition, but a healthy relationship will endure only if there are one masculine leader and one feminine follower. You simply cannot have two chefs in the kitchen. It’s possible for the roles to be reversed, where the woman takes on the masculine role and the man takes on the feminine role, but this works only with women who are biologically masculine from having high levels of testosterone.
At the very least, do not complain about his decisions unless you have a rock-solid logical argument of why they are wrong, or when you feel that it’s obvious the ship is heading for a massive iceberg that he simply can’t see. However, you’ll find that your concerns almost never come to fruition, and if they do, your man will harshly punish himself for it on his own. Let him learn from his mistakes and acquire the experience he needs to make better decisions in the future. Nagging him, or rubbing his face in a bad decision by saying “I told you so” will breed resentment and lay the foundation for explosive conflict in the future.
Because a man is driven more by logic than emotion, he will instinctively be motivated to seek stability. A woman’s emotions tend to sabotage stability, especially if they come from her devil and not her angel. This is why a man is less likely to listen to you when he feels your objections are driven by your emotions. Your emotions are important to your feminine essence, especially when raising children, but when it comes to your man making decisions, be deferential instead of challenging. Assume that he knows best. If he makes a mistake, which is inevitable because he’s human, give him the opportunity to correct it. He will love you even more for your patience and understanding.
In fact, consider yourself lucky that you’ve found a man who is prepared to lead at all. The modern male often fears being assertive or masculine, and may want you to lead instead. This may seem great at first, because no decision will be made without your approval, but it will undoubtedly lead to misery. The extra responsibility will make you stress
ed and worn out as it clashes head-on with a feminine core that does not want to lead.
In a case of “Be careful what you wish for,” feminists have achieved their goal of empowerment and realized that it’s not what they wanted. Trying to lead makes their lives harder because it forces them to adopt an unnatural masculine role to deal with constant struggles and difficulties rather than allowing a strong man to deal with them instead. Even I’m not particularly enthusiastic about having to take responsibility for a woman’s life, but at least it’s compatible with my masculine essence.
At the end of the day, I know that if I create a stable environment for a woman, she will probably get used to the stability and take it for granted, causing her to occasionally challenge me for no reason, but if I make big mistakes that definitely hurt the relationship, I won’t hear the end of it, and she may leave me. Therefore, it’s in my best interests to make good decisions for the woman I love.
A better alternative to challenging your man’s authority outright is to gently relay your concerns. Calmly share your opinion with him so that he’s made aware of any potential downsides. For example, imagine your man is thinking of changing jobs to work for a smaller company. Instead of telling him what he should or shouldn’t do, relay your concerns: “I’m only nervous that a smaller company is more likely to go out of business and put you out of work.” When making his decision, he will take your opinion into account without feeling resentment towards you.
Another example is if he’s having a problem with his health but doesn’t want to go to the doctor. Instead of demanding that he goes, say, “It’s probably nothing, but I’m concerned it will become a bigger problem if you don’t have it checked out. I can make an appointment with the doctor if you like.” Here you are gently sharing your opinion with him and making an offer to help instead of nagging or commanding him. Whichever decision he makes, you must respect him for it, and if turns out that you were right, do not rub it in. This will humiliate him and bruise his ego.
Ultimately, it’s his decision on where to work or how he should take care of his body. You may not be pleased with those decisions, but you will create more problems if you try to force him to do what you want him to do. If he asks you directly for your input or advice, feel free to be more upfront, but if he doesn’t, refrain from doing more than sharing your concerns without being emotional or condemning him. If he wanted a nagging mother, he would probably still be living with his own, so aim to speak to him as if he’s the captain of the ship and you’re the first mate. When you calmly provide your input instead of issuing orders, I guarantee he’ll at least take your views into account when deciding what to do.
Don’t feel chafed if he implements your suggestion and then takes all the credit for the outcome. It may be hard for him to admit that you were right, but as long as there’s a favorable outcome for the household, there’s no need to point out that you upstaged him. Let his ego have a public victory while yours has a private one.
A major key to a successful relationship is understanding that a man needs significantly more “alone time” than you do to process his thoughts, make sense of his existence, and relieve stress. The number-one complaint I hear from men in relationships is that their girlfriends constantly require them to act the clown and be a source of entertainment as if they were a human television. Even when a man tells his girl that he needs space, she’ll give it to him for only a few days or weeks, not understanding that his need for space is permanent.
The late comic Patrice O’Neal called women “time vampires,” implying that they derive more energy from spending time with men than from having sex with them. On the other hand, most men replenish their energy when they are away from women. You may think something is wrong with your relationship if your man says that he needs to be alone, because you find it uncomfortable to be alone yourself, but he has completely different wiring than you. Once he has had sufficient alone time, he will be full of energy and seek you out. You will drain his energy again, prompting the need for another recharge. Don’t feel insulted that men generally see women as a drain, because we would rather you consume our energy than anything else.
Our solitary nature should not be confused with a lack of interest. Men want to be alone but not lonely. We want you to be around us, but not necessarily in the same room talking to us. The best way to accomplish this is to have something you can do by yourself when you’re with your man. One of my ex-girlfriends was a voracious reader, so she would always have a book in her hand when coming over. Whenever she sensed that I needed my alone time, she would relax on the bed or couch and read without bothering me.
It will almost always be the case that your man needs to interact with you less than you need to interact with him, and when he notices that you won’t be a time vampire, he’ll start seeing you as an ideal wife who grants him his much-needed alone time to read, work, or do things you may view as senseless, such as watching conspiracy videos on the internet or investing in cryptocurrency.
Another important thing to understand is that a man’s testosterone decreases when he’s in a long-term relationship, particularly one that is older than a year. Testosterone is a hormone that nature gave to men so we can hunt for food and women, but if a man is committed to you, he no longer has to hunt. As a result, his testosterone decreases significantly, lowering his vigor and sex drive to the point where he won’t initiate sex with you as often as he did in the past. He essentially becomes a happy zoo animal ready for his scheduled “sex feedings,” but this will cause you to think he’s losing interest, unlike how he was early in the relationship when he couldn’t wait to devour you. Even worse, your man may open the door for his devil to put thoughts into his mind of sleeping with other women, not because he doesn’t love you, but because he wants to feel like a hunter again.
If he’s fantasizing about having sex with other women, it’s likely his fantasies will involve women who have qualities that you don’t have. If you’re a brunette, he will fantasize about blondes. If you have big boobs and a small butt, he will fantasize about a girl with small boobs and a big butt. The devil greatly values novelty, so he will try to convince your man that hunting someone who is completely different than you will bring him happiness.
Give him that novelty yourself. Experiment in the bedroom with sexy outfits, dirty talk, role-playing, and different-colored wigs. Wear a short skirt in public so that he’s aroused and can’t wait to get you home. Put on a revealing schoolgirl outfit while you cook a meal for him so that he forgets about eating. Wear a wig and put on makeup so that you look completely different.
To keep a man sexually interested, trigger his hunting instinct by randomly giving him erotic sex. This will trick his devil into thinking that he did sleep with a completely new girl. You’ll know it’s time to try something spicy when he’s initiating sex far less frequently than when the relationship started or when you sense he’s checking out other women.
An even stronger way to maintain his sexual interest is to improve your appearance as the relationship progresses instead of allowing it to degrade. A man will definitely lose physical interest in you if you gain weight. He may not complain about it, because he doesn’t want to make you upset, but you won’t find a single man in the universe who states that he’s satisfied with his girlfriend gaining weight. Not only will he lose attraction for you, but he’ll start to visualize how many extra pounds you’ll gain during the marriage, since it’s exceedingly common for weight gain to accelerate after the wedding.
You should also keep your hair long. Unfortunately, many women start shortening their hair after gaining a man’s commitment. To save a minute or two a day on hair care, they sabotage their relationship by getting old-lady cuts. If anything, a relationship is when you should test how long you can grow your hair. Increasing your beauty as the relationship progresses is not only a way to make your man proud of you, but it also tells him that you won’t let yourself go, as many women do. Men don’t sudde
nly lose their visual and aesthetic sense when they fall in love.
The final thing that will prove to him that you will make a good wife is not to cheat on him or put yourself in situations that could lead to cheating. If I have a girlfriend who continually wants to meet her single girlfriends or male “friends” in venues that serve alcohol, I know she is halfway towards cheating on me, if not already doing so. In such an environment, it won’t be hard for a man to finagle an intimate conversation or dance with her, or even sneak in a kiss.
Hanging around men who will sleep with you if given the chance is the same as inviting a recovering alcoholic to a raging New Year’s Eve party at a nightclub. To stay faithful, you’ll have to say no to situations that could tempt you to access new men or seek the intimate attention of male “friends” who obviously want more than friendship by mere sake of being male.
Nothing bad can happen if you avoid situations that could turn bad. If a woman constantly puts herself in bad situations, I have to assume she’s ready to do bad things and is therefore not a good prospect for marriage. To avoid dangerous situations that could spontaneously activate your devil, don’t spend time alone with a man and avoid hanging out with promiscuous girlfriends at places that serve alcohol. Go out with all the men and party girls you want while you’re single, but this should stop when you’re in a relationship so that you can build a high level of trust with your man. If you have some kind of addiction to male attention, work it out of your system before you tell a man that you want a commitment, because if you don’t, chances are you will burn him and waste both his time and yours.
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