Roy Blakeley's Motor Caravan

by Percy Keese Fitzhugh

  I said to Pee-wee, "Shut up; don't be shouting so much about good turns.Actions speak louder than words."

  "Words speak loud enough," the kid yelled.

  "_Good night_, you said it," I told him.

  "Even now we're doing a good turn," the kid shouted; "we've got threemore autos over on the other road and we're taking some Uncle Tom'sCabin actors to the Veteran's Reunion. We should worry if the railroadtrains don't run."

  Jimmies, I don't know how much more he might have told them, he's ahuman billboard for the Boy Scouts of America, that kid is; but all of asudden, _zip goes the fillum_, that black tarry stuff came shooting outfrom all the holes in the sprinkler and Brent came crawling out fromunderneath it with his trousers and his shirt all black and sticky andhis hair all mucked up with the stuff and with a big streaky smudge allover his face.

  "_Good night!"_ I shouted. "What happened?"

  "I found it," he said; "it had joggled shut, just as I thought. If youhappen to have a few feathers handy, you can tar and feather me. I did agood turn, only I didn't turn over and get out quick enough."

  Oh, boy, that fellow was a sight!

  XIX--BRENT GETS HIS WISH

  One thing about those men, they weren't very good scouts, I'll say thatmuch. The only good turn they did was to turn around and drive away.Maybe the Union wouldn't let them do good turns; Unions have got no usefor good turns.

  First we decided that we'd stop at the nearest house, but one thingabout scouts, they don't like to ask for help unless they have to. Butif you offer them something to eat it's all right for them to take it.

  I said to Brent, "Well, you were crazy for an adventure, now you've gotone."

  He said, "I don't care about such a sticky one. I'm not exactly what youwould call crazy about tar shower baths."

  "You'll have to cut your hair off, that's one sure thing," I told him;"you'll never be able to get that stuff out of your hair."

  "I'd like to sit down, too," he said; "but if I did, I could never getup again. I think the sooner I'm fixed up the better. Let's run the vanalongside the road and get inside and see what we can do. Our friend'ssuit of clothes is still in there. After boasting about my dreams ofadventure it seems rather tame to go into somebody's back kitchen forrepairs. I'm afraid Harry would indulge in a gentle smile."

  "He'd indulge in a gentle fit if he saw you now," I told him.

  "I say let's not go to anybody for assistance," Pee-wee spoke up. "Wecan get gasoline out of the tank, so you can wash the tar off your face,and I've got a folding scissors in my scout knife. I'll cut your hairfor you."

  "How would you like to have it cut?" I asked him, just kidding him.

  "I think I'd like it cut dark," he said.

  I said, "Well, we'll cut it short and then if you don't like it we'llcut it longer."

  So we decided that we wouldn't depend on anybody but would act just thesame as if we were on a desert island where there weren't any barbersand bathtubs and things, because Columbus and Daniel Boone didn't havebarbers and bathtubs and things.

  "They depended upon their own initials," Pee-wee said.

  "You mean initiative," I told him.

  He said, "What's the difference?"

  So then I ran the machine over to the side of the road right close to akind of a grove and we got some gas out of the tank and Brent and I wentinside the van. We told Pee-wee to stay outside so as to keep peoplefrom opening the doors or fooling with the car, because we were in thevillage and we thought maybe people would be hanging around.

  There was only one thing to do with Brent's hair, and that was to cut itoff, because the tar was so thick there that the gasoline wouldn't meltit. I made a pretty good job of it with the little folding scissors inPee-wee's scout knife. We managed to get most of the tar off his facewith the gasoline, but it left his face kind of all black and sootylooking.

  He couldn't sit down or lean against anything on account of the tar allover his clothes, so he took them off and I handed them out to Pee-weeand told him to throw them in the grove. Then Brent put on the convict'ssuit, and he looked awful funny in it with his dirty face and his hairall cut short.

  He said, "At last the dream of my young life has come true; I am acriminal. The only thing is I haven't committed my crime yet."

  I said, "Oh, you needn't be in any hurry about that."

  He said, "But it seems sort of _false_ for me to be wearing a convict'ssuit when I haven't committed any crime. It seems like deceiving people.It troubles my conscience. And I haven't really escaped either. Whatwould you do if you were me? I don't want to disgrace the uniform Iwear. I wish I could think of some nice easy crime. I feel nice andclean in these things, anyway. But my conscience is black. Do yousuppose there's a bank in this burg, and a jail? I was thinking if Icould just let myself down by a rope. Only it would be just my luck tohave a cell on the ground floor."

  I said, "The best cell for you is right in this little old van, at leasttill we get out of town. You leave the rope business to DouglasFairbanks. If anybody in this place should see you, _good night_, SisterAnne! And it isn't any joke, either. Now you've got your wish, you'llsee it isn't going to be as much fun as you thought it was."

  Brent sat down on an old grocery box that we had inside the van, and,jiminetty, I had to laugh, he had such a funny way about him. He lookedawful tough, sort of, without his hair. He said, "Well, I appoint you mykeeper. I hope I'm not such a cheap sort of a criminal as to try toescape from a delivery van. A stone dungeon or nothing for me." Geewhiz, that fellow's particular.

  Just then the plot grew thicker--oh, _boy_! One of the doors of the vanopened and Pee-wee squeezed in. He had a big piece of paper in his hand.He said, "I went up the road a little way--shh!"

  I said, "I thought it was kind of quiet outside."

  He said, "Shh, look at this; it was tacked to a tree. We're in desperateperil----"

  Brent said, "In which?"

  "Read this," the kid whispered. "I didn't see it till after I threw theclothes away and they floated down the brook. Dangers thicken--look atthis." He got those words out of the movies, _dangers thicken_.

  Brent and I read the printing on the paper and this is what it said:

  ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS REWARD

  Offered for information leading to the recapture of Mike Donovan, alias Rinky, escaped from Indiana State Prison. Was serving term of fifteen years for burglary and child murder. Slender of stature. Five feet nine inches in height. Is supposed to have relations in the east. Age about nineteen. Is known to be a desperate character, having served terms in New York and Pennsylvania for burglary and highway robbery.

  There was some more, about who to notify and all that, but I can'tremember the rest. Brent took the paper from me and sat there on thegrocery box in the dim light with the doors closed, reading it. Itseemed awfully dark and secret, kind of, in there.

  He said, "Larceny, child murder, burglary, and highway robbery. Thatisn't so bad, is it? That's really more than I expected. I haven't livedin vain."

  "You'll live in a jail, that's where you'll live," Pee-wee whispered."What are we going to do?"

  "You ought to know," I told him, "a scout is resourceful."

  CHAPTER XX--WE CONSIDER OUR PREDICAMENT

  (THAT'S PEE-WEE'S HEADING)

  I said to Brent, "Now you've killed a child and highway-robbed peopleand broken into houses, I hope you're satisfied."

  "And larcenied," the kid shouted.

  "Shut up," I told him; "do you want the whole town to hear you? It's badenough as it is; suppose somebody should come walking into this van."

  Brent said, in that crazy way of his, "Boys, this is the end of an evilcareer. This is what comes of getting mixed up with the boy scouts. Seewhere it has brought me. Never again will I do a good turn."

  "You're crazy," Pee-wee shouted.

  "Shh," I told him; "have a heart. Do you wa
nt to get us all pinched?"

  "It was about the best turn I ever did," Brent said; "I turned thestop-cock all the way open. And here I am a prisoner in a dry goodsdelivery van with boy scouts for keepers. I'd be ashamed to look anhonest burglar in the face." Honest, that's just the crazy way hetalked. He said, "Now the question is to escape. I want to escape in away that's full of pep."

  Pee-wee said, "You make me tired. Do you mean to say that goodturns----"

  "Will you shut up about good turns, and listen?" I said.

  "I mean to say that a good turn is the cause of my downfall," Brentsaid; "and I wish I had a cigarette. Boys, take a lesson from myterrible example and don't ever do a good turn."

  "What are you talking about?" the kid shouted.

  "Shh," I told him; "keep still, will you? The first merry-go-round yousee you can get on it and do all the good turns you want, only keepstill and give us a chance to see where we're at, will you?"

  "It's printed on the National Headquarters' letterheads," he said, "todo a good turn----"

  "It's bad advice to give a young boy," Brent said.

  I said, "Keep still, you're worse than he is. Give me a chance to think,will you?"

  "Roosevelt's name and Taft's name are on that letterhead," the kidbegan, "so that shows----"

  "I'm surprised that they should give such advice to young boys," Brentsaid. "I wonder if I could escape from this van with a file and letmyself down with a rope?" Then he picked up a can opener and said, "Ha,ha, just the thing."

  I said, "Will you please keep still a minute, both of you? Maybe you'veheard the scout motto, 'Be Prepared.' That's just as important as goodturns. How are we going to get away from this town? That's the question.You and your crimes, and Pee-wee and his good turns, make me tired.We've got to look facts in the face."

  Brent said, "I'm ashamed to look even a fact in the face."

  "Well," I told him, "you'll be looking a sheriff in the face if youdon't talk in a whisper, and maybe you'll find it isn't so pleasantbeing arrested."

  Brent said, "I'm not thinking about being arrested, I'm thinking aboutescaping."

  "Well, you can't escape from a dry goods van," I told him.

  He said, awful sad, kind of, "I know it. Oh, if I were only Eliza andcould be pursued by ferocious bloodhounds."

  I said, "Well, you can't have everything. You've done pretty well sofar."

  "Sure you have," Pee-wee whispered; "there's one of those notices tackedup in the Post Office, and everybody is talking about that fellowescaping. I told them that often boy scouts find missing people. I wastelling them about good turns, and I said we'd be on the lookout."

  "I hope they won't look _in_" Brent said.

  "What else did you tell them?" I asked him, good and scared. Because Iknew that if our young hero had been able to round up an audience in thePost Office, most likely he had given them the whole history of the BoyScouts of America and a lot of other stuff besides.

  "I was telling them about good turns," he said. "There was an old ladythere and I carried a big bundle out to her carriage for her."

  "And that's all you told them?" I asked him.

  "I told them we were going to the Veterans' Reunion at Grumpy'sCross-roads," he said.

  I said, "Did anybody ask you any questions?"

  "Sure," he said; "a man asked me if I liked gumdrops. He gave me a bagof them. Want one?"

  "Well," I said, "the best thing for us to do is to get out of this placeas quick as we can. When we once strike open country, we'll be all rightand when we meet the rest of the crowd we can scrape up some civilizedduds."

  "I wonder how I'd look in Brother Abbington's plug hat just now," Brentsaid.

  "You should worry," I told him; "you look bad enough already."

  "Speaking of plug hats," he said, "don't forget we have to get a coupleof plugs for the motor. What place is this, anyway?"

  "It's the place we were looking for," Pee-wee said; "it's Barrow'sHomestead. There aren't any scouts here, but I told the people all aboutthem. They're going to start a troop."

  I said, "Well, it's time to start this troop if we don't want to getinto trouble. This is a pretty risky business."

  XXI--GETTING STARTED

  As soon as I heard that Pee-wee had been in the Post Office talking, Idecided that we had better get away from that place just as soon as wepossibly could, if not sooner. Even Brent said he guessed the best wayto escape was inside the van; he said it was more comfortable andconvenient. He said the good old times when people used to escape fromtowers and be pursued by ferocious bloodhounds weren't any more exceptin the movies. He said he was discouraged.

  Gee whiz, when I looked at him sitting there on that grocery box withhis face all grimy and his hair cropped and that striped suit on him, Ijust had to laugh. I have to admit he's awful funny, that fellow is.

  I said, "Well, one thing, it's mighty lucky I know how to drive a carand I can get us out of this village. And another thing, it's mightylucky we're still just where the village begins; if we weren't we'd besurrounded. If we can get past the Post Office, we're safe."

  So then Pee-wee and I tore down the signs we had outside the van aboutgoing all the way from Klucksville to New York, because people wouldwonder at fellows our age doing that when there was no big fellow withus. Safety first, that's what I said.

  "If they think we're only going as far as Grumpy's Cross-roads," I said,"I guess nobody'll be suspicious."

  Pee-wee said, "Yes, but how about Jolly & Kidder's name, and New Yorkprinted all over the sides of the van?"

  "A scout is resourceful," I told him; "let's tear down the canvas frominside and be quick about it."

  Now inside that van was lined with canvas to keep things from gettingscratched, I guess. Brent said it was a padded cell. So we took thatdown and tacked it up outside on both sides so that all the printing wascovered. After we did that we closed the doors of the van and locked thepadlock and Pee-wee took the key. Brent called out to us that we shouldtake a lesson by his terrible example. Then we could hear him kind ofmuttering, "I will escape; I will foil you all yet." Honest, he's crazy,that fellow is.

  Pee-wee and I sat down on the back step for about half a minute to makeup our minds what we should say if any one stopped us and asked usquestions. "Anyway," he said, "that canvas on the sides will make peoplesuspicious with no printing on it."

  I said, "Well, we're not going to print any lies on it, anyway."

  He said, "We don't have to print lies. Truth is stranger thanfiction--that's what it said in a movie play I saw."

  Then, all of a sudden he out with a piece of chalk that he alwayscarries so as he can make scout signs and he sprawled all over one sideof the van,

  BOY SCOUTS EN ROOT TO SOLDIERS' REUNION

  Our Mottoes:

  BE PREPARED DO A GOOD TURN DAILY

  I said, "That isn't the way to spell en route. What's the matter withyou?"

  I guess he was thinking about root beer, hey?

  XXII--SILENCE!

  I said to Pee-wee, "Now all we have to do is to go straight about ourbusiness and keep our mouths shut and we'll get out of this burg allright. Just keep silence. Nobody's going to stop us as long as peopledon't get suspicious. I can drive the car till we get out of town and Idon't think any one will stop me. All _you_ have to do is to keepsilence."

  "How long do I have to keep it?" he wanted to know.

  I said, "Oh, keep it till it's all used up, and then I'll give you somemore. Believe me, you can't have too much of it just now."

  "We'll have to use up a lot of it, hey?" he said.

  "More than _you_ ever used before," I told him.

  "Anyway," he said, "an innocent man has nothing to fear."

  "You got that out of the movies," I told him. "An innocent man with hishair cropped and a con
vict suit on has a whole lot to fear."

  "Innocence is a shield," he said; "it's in my copy book."

  "Yes?" I said. "Well, an enclosed van is a better shield."

  "Our lips will be sealed, hey?" he said. I guess he got that out of the_Dan Dauntless Series_; he eats those books alive.

  I felt kind of shaky driving that van, but I knew I had to do it, and ifa scout has to do a thing he does it. Gee whiz, I like things that arehard--except licorice jaw breakers. You get three of those for a cent.Even I can eat those if I have to, but I like marshmallows better. Ilike peanut brittle too. But anyway that hasn't got anything to do withdriving a car.

  For maybe an eighth of a mile there weren't any houses, because where westopped was really on the edge of the village. Anyway that villagedidn't have much of an edge to it. Pretty soon the houses began to getnear together. I guess they were always just as near together butthey--you know what I mean.

  Pee-wee didn't say a word; he just sat straight up beside me like alittle tin soldier. It was a shame to see him wasting so much silence.

  Pretty soon we came to the Post Office. There were a lot of peoplestanding around the Post Office and they were talking about the railroadstrike. I knew that if we once got past the Post Office we'd be allright. Because post offices in the country are where sheriffs andconstables and other people that haven't got anything to do hang out. Itwasn't much of a post office. I guess they called it a post officebecause there was a post out in front of it. There was one of thosesigns tacked to that post.