A Fantasy About Love

by Opal Cole

  "James, you have to trust me. Mary Ann is a wonderful person, but she needs support. She had an awful childhood, first with her parents dying early and then a very strict old-fashioned grandmother. She was always put down and nobody recognized her as the person she really is. She broke away coming to Sydney, but it was not much better. Little money, no support, so-called friends that tried to pull her down and it is a wonder that she survived all this and still is a virgin! I looked at myself and saw how I threw away opportunities that she never had; how I sank into a depression on silly things, driving my mother away; and I compared myself to Mary Ann and the woman she is today, and I did not fare very well. So I decided to do something about this."

  She stopped for a moment, remembering those days -- thank God now gone.

  "When we went for lunch, she always looked for the cheapest dish, so I selected for her and she enjoyed it. When we went shopping, I saw her look at her credit card and starting to say no, so I called the sales manager aside and told him to say to her that these clothes were on a special discount and that I would pay the difference with my card, but he could not tell her. But what really impressed me was the way she looked at me whenever I said something about you and when she did not like it, she defended you immediately. James, this lady has a total crush on you and will support and shield you with all her forces. I wanted to tell her that you're mine and I did, and she knows it. I believe, however, that even knowing that she never will be yours, she'll always be beside you, protecting you. You can trust her completely. My problem is what will I do? And what will you do?"

  Her eyes were pleading.

  "I'm certain that if you let her know that you wanted her, she would resign and go away, because she does not want to destroy our marriage. But if there were a chance that she could become a part of us, she would be in your, no our bed the same moment. How can I live with this? And you? You'll have Mary Ann every day around you, knowing that she believes that she loves you, and perhaps she really does love you. Your way of treating people as people, your courtesy to all and especially to her, who had never encountered someone like you, your care of looking out for her, and your trust in her made her open up to you and this will make life difficult for both of you. How will you handle this? How will I handle the fact that you will have every day a beautiful woman -- and in her own way she is very beautiful, looking after you, smiling at you, working with you? I trust you absolutely, but the situation is strange to say the least. What will we do?"

  I did not answer at first and then told her to relax. This was an unusual situation for me, and I needed time to find a solution that would not hurt anyone. Under normal circumstances I decided rapidly; this time I needed more information and time to process it.

  "Maureen, calm down. I cannot respond now because I need further input and time to think it through. But I promise that I'll find a solution that will not hurt you and me."

  "James, please don't hurt her either!"

  She nodded and got up to clean the table; then she looked at me and asked me to come to bed. She did not want to make love; she wanted that I held her in my arms and told her that I loved her and that nobody would come between us.

  "My love, I promise you that nobody will come between us; there may be people who'll be beside us and eventually even share a part of our life, but you're the only woman in my heart and soul, and always will be."

  She wiped a tear from her eyes and hugged me with all her forces. Then she smiled wanly and lay down. When I got out of the bathroom, she was waiting for me extending her arms.

  "Hold me, my love. I need to know that I'm yours and that you're mine."

  She laid her head on my chest and whispered: "I hear your heart beating. Mine will always be there for you, and my soul is yours forever."

  Then she closed her eyes and started to sleep. I whistled lowly and she came awake again and this time she smiled happily.

  "I know, I know. Here they are..." She offered me her breasts for the goodnight kisses and then kissed me with more liveliness than before. She snuggled backwards and forwards until she found the right position, kissed my hand and placed it on her breast, and said goodnight. I stayed awake for a long time, analyzing the situation and trying to find a solution that would hurt some people less, but to no avail. Finally, I fell asleep, too.

  After a restless night when every move caused Maureen to try to crawl into me, I gave up and inched out of the bed. It was difficult and slow, but I managed it without waking her up. I had my shower and prepared a cup of coffee, read the newspaper, watched the news on the TV, and went to wake her up. She opened her eyes when the cup of coffee was under her nose and then came the moment that made my life happy every time it happened: she smiled at me and said: "Good morning, my love. I love you."

  She realized that I had to leave soon and jumped out of the bed. Looking at me, she stopped and presented her breasts and said: "Good morning from the three of us!"

  I knew that it was silly, but would have been terribly disappointed if one day we forgot this little game. I kissed the nipples and bit them gently; she said that that was unfair since there was no time for revenge. Then I kissed her and told her to hurry, since I really had to leave. She ran to the bathroom and came back almost immediately; she had brushed her teeth and rubbed a wet cloth over her face but was still naked. A glorious picture to make my day! She drank her coffee and prepared a toast for me; then it was time to leave. A last kiss and a whisper: "Think well about what you're going to do today as you'll decide the life of the people who love you! Don´t hurt me and don´t hurt her!"

  I walked to the office; it was still early and the temperature was already frisky enough to think about a shawl. Tony was standing at the entrance and looked strangely at me.

  "Mr. Winter, your secretary just arrived and went up. What happened to her?"

  I was surprised and asked whether it was anything bad, but he only said that she was so different today and he hoped she would stay that way. Now I was curious. When I arrived at my office, I saw a young lady sitting at her desk. I knew it had to be Mary Ann, but she really had changed. There was a beautiful young woman, dressed well but austere in a white blouse and a black narrow skirt, with a touch of makeup to emphasize her cheeks and eyes, her black hair carefully put up, a little round silver earring, and a very hesitant smile on her face.

  She stood up and waited for me. I looked around, but we were the only people on the floor. I walked past her and asked her to come into my office and closed the door, not completely but enough that we had a bit of privacy. By now her hesitant smile had become a very scared expression: her thoughts were visible: was she going to be fired?

  "Mary Ann, that was a wonderful weekend and the Sunday was outstanding. But we have to talk seriously."

  Before I could say anything, she started: "James, the day with Maureen and yesterday with you was truly wonderful; I had never such happiness in my life. It gave me a glimpse of what I have been missing all my life. But I discovered that my walls were breaking down as I saw in Maureen the sister I never had, and I saw in you the man I wanted for me. The problem is that Maureen and you're soon to be wedded, and I cannot step in between you. I have thought long about this and have come to a conclusion that will be best for you. I have prepared my letter of resignation and will move to another city; perhaps Canberra or Melbourne (or even Perth!) because it is far away from you. I saw a different future the last two days, but I don´t want to break into your relationship with Maureen or damage your career ... Both of you deserve to be very happy."

  With that remark she handed me a letter and stood up. "Goodbye, James. I'll never love someone like I love you."

  I looked at her and told her to sit down.

  "Mary Ann, you are not the only person involved in this decision. Maureen also considers you like a sister she never had, and I? I have seen you growing the last few months, and I have seen you become not a secretary, but my partner. I don't want to lose that woman, because we'l
l become a very effective team. You're also a very beautiful woman -- and I've to admit that I saw this only these few days, and I don't want to lose that woman either."

  She looked up with surprise in her eyes.

  ¨Maureen and I discussed this at length, and we know that nobody will ever come between the two of us. We still wonder what really happened between you and Maureen, and then between us, but you've enchanted us, and we saw the glimmer of a different path for us: There'll never be anyone who can separate Maureen and me, but there can be a way to stay beside us, not between us. It may not be the deep love that bonds Maureen and me, but we can see a different warmth that might one day grow into something new, something that unites love and affection. I cannot guarantee what will happen, but we offer you to be with us and see whether the emotions the three of us feel now can grow deeper."

  She looked at me and her eyes showed a glimmer of hope.

  ¨It´s a complex and complicated situation and full of potential problems, and perhaps we´ll be hurt a lot, but it would give you and us a chance. So this is our proposal: Stay here with me and with us, have fun, perhaps consider other options because attractive as you are, men will be trying to date you, but look out for us -- and especially for me in this company! We will look out for you, protect you and entertain you, and probably one day love you. I'm a bit frightened by this proposal, because I saw yesterday what can happen if both of you gang up on me, but it was a wonderful day and to be in the company of two beautiful women was stimulating in all sentiments. Think about it, Mary Ann, and if you don´t want this, I shall accept your resignation and help you find another job. But I sincerely hope that you stay. Everything happened so fast, and I don't know why, but you're not the only one who became emotionally involved!"

  Her face had slowly become lighter and her eyes brighter, and she sat up straighter. When I finished, she just said: "James, I don´t have to think about your proposal. I accept it and will always be grateful for the chance you've given me to be happy. I'll be very cautious in public, but do you promise that when we are alone, you and I, or the three of us, that I'll be hugged and cuddled, too? That is all I want now and I'm willing, patient and eager to wait and see what might happen. Occasionally, it'll be difficult for me, but just being close to you and Maureen is better than never to see you again."

  I took her letter and threw it into the waste paper basket, then got up, looked at the partially open door but saw nobody, and pulled her into my arms and kissed her softly. She just fell into my body as if fainting, but came back rapidly and kissed me back. She did not go the whole way, but just touched my lips and waited for my response. I kissed her eyes and once more her lips and then said: "Back to reality, my darling. Hugging and cuddling will have to wait."

  "Right, Mr. Winter. You really need a good secretary: How can you throw a letter like this in the waste basket? It'll take just a few hours and the content will be discussed by everyone in this company."

  She bent down and took the letter out and ran it through the shredder. Then she went back to her desk and handed me about three inches of messages.

  "Enjoy yourself, darling." and looking around, blew me a little kiss. Her face was happy, her lips were smiling, and her eyes were sparkling. I forced the smile off my face and became the efficient business manager.

  Shortly before lunch, Peter walked in and closed the door.

  "Tell me everything, James. What happened to your secretary? She is so different, and I never realized that she's a beautiful woman. She even dresses differently!"

  I looked up and questioned him what he meant. He looked at me and asked me whether I was blind.

  "She is from another planet. The little mouse turned into a beautiful woman!"

  I laughed and said: "Squeak! Squeak!" He blushed all over remembering the embarrassment he went through on the same subject with Maureen.

  "Did she tell you anything? Does she have a new boyfriend? Did she get laid over the weekend?"

  I did not like his words, looked at him and he realized that he had gone far beyond the limits of politeness and apologized. "I didn't mean this, but she is different! What happened? Do you know?"

  I told him that if he wanted details about her personal life, he should ask her directly; I would not do this, however. He backed down and left, but when he passed Mary Ann, he stared at her and shook his head. He was not the only one who came asking. My colleagues were all over me to get details, and my response was always the same: ask her yourself. Which nobody had the courage to do.

  The day went fast and when I had answered the last message, it was late as in most days I had been working. Mary Ann was still at her desk, probably waiting for me to finish. I told her to close up and go home. She stared at me and nodded, but I whispered: "Look at your phone message." and left. I had sent her a message to come to our flat tonight to discuss our future and she suddenly smiled.

  I walked home and told Maureen what had happened, and she jumped into my arms.

  "James, how wonderful. I like her so much! And she loves you, James! We'll find a solution!"

  She dressed up for the occasion -- or rather dressed down. She had her little white, almost transparent top and a lacy beige long skirt with a long slit up to her hips that did not leave a lot to one's imagination. Obviously she followed house rules: no underwear! She was beautiful.

  Maureen prepared dinner for three and when May Ann arrived, embraced her tightly. "I'm so happy for us! Come in and be at home!"

  Mary Ann looked at me and I at Maureen.

  "What are you waiting for? Do you believe that I don't know that you want to kiss each other? As long as it stays there, go ahead and be happy!"

  Well, I would not say no to such permission and opened my arms. Mary Ann jumped forward and embracing me, closed her eyes and lifted her face for a kiss. This time it was not so chaste and feeling her body glued to mine, I was not so certain that I had made the right decision to let her into our home. This could get out of hand easily, but I was still certain that this was the best path for us, with all the dangers it involved.

  She stepped back and looked at Maureen: "Thank you, thank you very much. Finally, I know what it means to be happy!" Then she looked again.

  "Maureen, you are beautiful but..." and did not continue.

  "Oh, you mean my little outfit? I follow house rules that my lord and master set. Whenever family is alone in our flat or house, no underwear! Why waste an opportunity to show off what I have? James adores to see me dressed or undressed, preferably undressed, and I adore showing my body to him. Actually, considering the outfits I have this one is quite conservative! Does this bother you?"

  She hesitated and then said: " No, not at all."

  She swallowed twice and looked down at her own outfit: a white blouse with just a hint of transparency showing off a lacy bra, a narrow black skirt that matched her hair, and sandals. Then she looked at Maureen again. "I've to think about this."

  We had a drink and then sat down for dinner. I helped the two ladies to their chairs and deserved a kiss from Maureen, and copying her host, one from Mary Ann, too. Our conversation was light at the beginning, but when we finished the meal with the accompanying bottle of wine, we were ready for a more serious talk. Maureen and I sat on the couch in the sitting room, with my arms around her, and Mary Ann in front of us, primly closing her legs.

  Maureen started the conversation: "Mary Ann, I invited you tonight because I believe that we have to discuss a lot and clear up some points. First of all, I love you as a woman and as a friend; we somehow bonded on Saturday and I want you as my sister I never had. Is this OK with you?"

  Mary Ann got up and gave Maureen a soft kiss: ¨Maureen, I never had a sister and I never had family. I'm so happy to have found you and I'll always be your friend, and hopefully even more than a friend, a partner and family."

  Maureen continued: "You´ve seen now how James and I are together, bound by love and affection. I'll fight against anyone who could destr
oy this relationship."

  She leaned into my side and placed my hand on her breast.

  "This is where you come in, Mary Ann. I have heard only good words about you and I've a lot of spies; you've always been loyal and protective of James and you deserve a much better position than secretary, and James will provide this; but we want to tell you that we like you, appreciate you and probably even love you -- at least a bit. After all, we really know each other only a few days. I understand your family background and the problems you had, and I admire you that you survived them. I had other problems and I was not as strong as you were. If James had not stepped into my life, I don't know what would have happened to me. I still don't know what he saw in the grumpy black duckling he met in a friend's house, but somehow he saw beneath my outer skin and saw the real me and here I am, happy and in his arms."

  She placed her hand over mine on her breast and pressed it down.

  "Mary Ann, I belong to him, and I cannot be separated from him. Depending on what'll happen between us, I'll tell you what happened. That leads us to you. What do you want from us? And what do you believe we can give you?"

  Mary Ann looked at us for a long time. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; then she looked at me, then at Maureen.

  "I know what I want, but I don´t know how to get it. As I told you, Maureen, my childhood was lonely and did not get better when my grandparents died. I had to defend myself against the person who was supposed to help me, and left to live on my own, without any real education and experience. I was lucky when I entered our company, and I was luckier still when James selected me as his secretary. I didn't want to lose that opportunity and also wanted to be the best secretary he ever had in his life, and I worked hard for this: many extra hours, studying and learning. But I succeeded, and this I have to thank James for. At the beginning I made a lot of mistakes and he corrected me; but he also saw that I never made the same mistake twice. He was always polite and helpful, and I was never ashamed to ask a perhaps silly question. The answer was always helpful. So what do I want professionally? I want to continue to work with James for many, many years."