The Full Moon Above Us

by Sarah Raz

  Asher was working hard, but the wages were rather meager, so he had renewed contacts with his previous employers in Sofia. The plant manager was very happy to hear from him and called upon him to make his way over post haste. He was sorely needed, as the factory was entering a rebuilding phase.

  Asher traveled to Sofia alone, with the understanding that once he had settled into his work, he would rent a place and have his family join him. This time their separation had been far from sad. Neither Alice nor the girls shed any tears when they said their goodbyes to their father and they waited patiently to hear from him. Their finances had now become quite poor, but so were those of all of Alice’s friends. Alice heard from Jacques that her sister Corrinne and her husband had returned to Sofia, to their home and their business, but as it had turned out, the husband’s Bulgarian partner failed to remember that all of their company stock and other possessions had been deposited with him before the war upon his solemn oath to give them back when the time came. He claimed that he had bought Corinne’s husband out and that the tannery was now his and his alone. Since nothing could be positively disproven, Corinne and her family were now destitute.

  Days and weeks passed without any word from Sofia. Alice tried to remain positive and often invited over new friends that she had met at school, mothers of Mati’s and Luna’s classmates.

  One day, happy and giggling, wearing their school uniforms, Luna came home with a classmate, a gorgeous girl with blue eyes and jet black hair, a girl that Alice seemed to have remembered seeing once before. “Mother, this is my best friend Masha,” Luna said holding Masha by the hand. “Masha and I share a desk and I told her about your delicious cream of wheat pudding. Masha says that her mother never makes any sweets, only porridge with salty cheese. Masha will be leaving us in a few days, she and her family are going to Israel. This is our last day together. She told her mom to pick her up here later.” Alice smiled and hurried to the refrigerator for the pudding. She took out two small wooden bowls and served the girls. Masha picked her bowl up and began taking bites that were bigger than her little mouth could hold. Alice wondered what could have been so enticing in a cold cream of wheat pudding. As the girls were licking their bowls clean giggling all the while, Alice returned to the kitchen to bring them something to drink. A soft knock was heard at the door and the girls rushed to open it, while Alice wiped her hands and walked over to join them. On the doorstep there stood a handsome and well-groomed woman whose pallor was accentuated by her black dress. Alice approached so she could better see her face. “Lisa?” “Alice?” they whispered together, a whisper that the girls could not properly hear. The two women embraced. “You know her,” asked Luna. With teary eyes and a heart that held no grudges, Alice held Lisa’s hand and said “Luna, this is my childhood friend Lisa. We went to school together and she had married Marco Anavi… another friend of mine. It has been years since we last saw each other. Today, after the war, it is very important to stay in touch with all our Jewish friends. I am glad to meet you here in my home. The world turns and we meet each other again. Even if there were bad times between us in the past, we are all friends now. Come, Lisa, let’s leave the girls to play while you tell me all about you.”

  Lisa stood there in a state of shock. She could not fathom Alice’s reaction. After all, there could be no forgiveness for how she had betrayed their friendship. For all these years she had carried with her guilt for splitting the two lovers apart and now how could she believe that Alice harbored no ill will towards her? Lisa sat down on the small chair in Alice’s kitchen. The words wouldn’t come to her, so she had to let Alice speak first. She could not believe how an innocent playdate could have put her in such an embarrassing situation.

  Alice behaved normally, feeling no particular emotion. “Lisa, how come you are not in Israel? Haven’t you always wanted to go? And Marco has family there, does he not? Why had he stayed in Plovdiv?” Lisa managed to force out a few words. With a shaky voice, she told how she had been scared by the diseases and the lack of proper nutrition, how as a spoiled and loved child she could not bear the thought of being apart from her family and how she managed to convince Marco, who had been very eager to go, to give up on his big dream. “What a shame,” said Alice, “you could have been spared all the evil of these last few years. But it’s not too late! Now we shall all, to the last of us, go back home to Israel!” Alice’s ardor had quite surprised Lisa, who was slowly sipping from her teacup. Many thoughts were running through her head. Lisa thought that if Marco were to meet the love of his youth, who was now not nearly as good looking as she herself had remained, and yet, from all appearances so much more full of life, a certain problem could arise. Her married life had never been a very loving one in the best of times and this meeting could hardly advance her cause. She had made up her mind to do everything in her power to stop that meeting from ever taking place.

  “Alice, how sad it is that our reunion is taking place now that we are on the cusp of departing for Israel. All our paperwork is in order and we are only in Plovdiv for a short while to say our last farewells. I am certain that we shall meet again in our new country. Try to find me there when you come. Marco will be glad to hear from you. I will tell him about our meeting. Masha, please pick up your things, we must hurry home. Thank you, Alice for being such a gracious host to my daughter. We shall be glad to see you again.” Alice knew that she would never see them again on Bulgarian soil.

  Next morning Alice found a brown envelope on her doorstep; a ragged old envelope carrying a secret. Alice opened it with caution, finding a single sheet of paper with blue letters upon it.

  “Dear Alice,

  It appears that our paths are destined to cross from time to time. Masha, our daughter, never stopped telling everyone about your rather unique family. The moment I heard your name and that of your daughter, I knew it had to be you. After some persistence on my part, Lisa had to admit to having met you. I heard that fortune had passed you by and that you must work hard for a living. We are leaving as soon as tomorrow and you would make me a very happy man if you consent to receive from us as a parting gift this small sum of money, which may make your life a little bit easier. I am certain that when we meet again in Israel, you will be able to repay us.

  Be well and may your path be a lucky one,

  Marco Anavi”

  A separate envelope contained several banknotes in the Bulgarian currency. It wasn’t much, but the timing was right. The notes offered Alice a few more days reprieve, a few more days before she would be called to rejoin her husband in Sofia. Alice’s eyes, accustomed to tears, began flowing again, this time with happiness and gratitude.

  This must be the work of fate, of destiny, she said to herself. There can be no other explanation.

  The summons from Sofia had finally arrived. Asher had been rather late in calling them to him. Alice took leave of her family and they promised to meet again before her departure for Israel.

  Sofia

  Asher regained his former post at the factory and was making a good living again. He was doing well and enjoying the full confidence of his employers. They were now living on Klokotnitsa Street, in a smallish apartment, but one that sported a warm and welcoming atmosphere. Alice had no need of additional income, so she became involved with the Zionist worker movement, MAPAM. She threw herself into the work and enthusiastically undertook any task that she had been given. Mati and Luna were active in the local branch of the HaShomer HaTzair youth movement. Alice was particularly active in all aspects of Hebrew language studies, delivering bilingual pamphlets about the Zionist movement to all who wanted them.

  Their life together was devoid of joy; they had failed to rekindle that spark that had always been there for them through thick and thin. Alice made no efforts to revive their life as a couple and neglected her appearance. She had now become a rather overweight and unkempt woman. Asher no longer rushed to be by her side and spent his days s
lowly, calmly, with no special desires. The only joy they had found came from following their daughters’ activities at school and in the youth organizations. Alice had managed to infect her daughters with the bug of going to Israel and to them it had become only a question of time; when would their final journey take place.

  At the beginning of the War of Independence, when the State of Israel had just declared itself free from the British Mandate, dozens of Jewish Bulgarian students were sent to take part in the fighting. Hardly a week after they had disembarked in Haifa, they were already fighting in the battle of Latrun, in the foothills leading to Jerusalem. The Jewish community in Bulgaria received a list of seventy-eight of its members who lost their lives in that battle. The mourning had been heavy. This disaster helped make Asher even more determined that now was no time to leave Bulgaria for Israel.

  In recognition of her activity in the MAPAM party, Alice was among the first to be selected to leave. She was known far and wide as someone who was always there for people in their hour of need. There were those who had paid much money to be included in the lists to leave for Israel, but Alice had to pay nothing. She had even been given a letter of recognition signed by the leaders of the movement, a letter of thanks for her tireless activity. Asher was dead set against them leaving. He would not hear of giving up, again, everything he had worked so hard to rebuild. He now spent most of his time in the office, even nights and weekends. Alice had begun to suspect that he might be having an affair. She could find no other explanation for his newfound apathy towards her and her wishes. But she never even bothered to ask him about it.

  The final approval finally arrived. Mati had been accepted to her preparatory training. Alice packed for her a duffle bag with a few necessities and accompanied her, together with Luna, to the appointed gathering place. Asher, who had been adamantly opposed to this move, took his leave from her on his way to the office, sad and depressed by his inability to dissuade Mati from leaving.

  Alice knew that Mati would spend a few months in Marseille, and from there would sail to Israel and join kibbutz Ein Shemer. For her, it was all a dream come true and in spite of the painful separation she knew that she had made the right choice.

  From Alice’s tales, Mati had known how consequential Marseille had been in her life and she jokingly told her “You know, I will likely meet your friend Rosette and tell her all about your adventures. Don’t worry, mother, I will do my best to succeed and when you and father come, I will already be an Israeli and I will help you get settled. I am already missing you both and can’t wait to see you again in Israel.”

  Alice had no more tears to spare after all the nights she had spent crying. She was determined to make Mati believe that this had been the right decision for her and that the day would not be far when they would meet again. Mati turned around to Alice and Luna for a final embrace before boarding the train. She was a tall seventeen year-old, head full of ginger curls made up into a thick braid, wearing the youth movement uniform: khaki shorts and a white shirt. “This is how a Jewish girl should look in Israel,” Alice said. “No more of these dainty spoiled rich women, but women filled with daring-do, enthusiasm, and the skills to take on any task they may receive in our new land. I am certain that we are made from different stuff. My daughter, you have been given the rare opportunity to be among the first. Seize it. Wait for us, we shall be there soon.” Alice was full of confidence for her girls, but her heart still missed a beat.

  Alice and Luna made their way back home and sat down to rest along the way in Nedelya Square. They had lost interest in arguing with Asher every night over emigration to Israel. Their arguments had not proved convincing to him; he remained dead set against. While they were seated on the bench, Luna took Alice’s hand in hers and said, “Mother, I know how important it is for you to live the rest of your life in Israel. Know that whatever you decide, you will have my full support. I shall never leave you. I am a big girl, twelve years old already, and I can help you with everything. Even if father does not change his mind, we can go to Israel without him.” Alice put on a sad smile. She knew that Luna’s words had not been spoken in a vacuum. After all, she was the one who was supposed to guide her, wasn’t that why she had been given the name Luna?

  The month of November, 1948, seven months after the declaration of independence by the State of Israel, saw the beginning of mass repatriation of Bulgarian Jews. Initial lists included a group of fifteen hundred people who were supposed to travel by train to the Yugoslavian border, from there continue to one of Yugoslavia’s Mediterranean ports, and there board a ship bound for Israel. Alice helped distribute white rucksacks, in which each traveler could pack belongings not exceeding twenty kilograms. She brought three of these rucksacks home and proceeded to pack. Since they were traveling to a warm country, she only took light clothes. All of their heavy winter coats she gave away to her Bulgarian neighbors. Asher, upon seeing her preparations, became even more openly apathetic. He had said his piece, after all. He was not going to go to Israel at this time. Alice said that it would not do to sell the contents of the apartment, seeing as he was staying put, but in her heart of hearts she knew that he would eventually come around and she had already made secret arrangements with a neighbor who was willing to buy them should they all be leaving after all.

  On the appointed day, Alice and Luna waited for Asher’s return from work in order to say their goodbyes. They both wore blue skirts and white shirts, as behooved the festive occasion. Alice wore on her neck the sapphire pendant, Asher’s gift, from which she had never parted.

  Asher was bereft of all vitality. They were leaving him behind. They were all he had on this earth – and they were leaving him behind. He was the man of the house, the sole provider and it was his job to make the big decisions, but they were leaving him behind. The two of them conspiring against him. It was only natural that the girls would follow in their mother’s footsteps, so why did he, the father, must decide to separate from them? After much thought, he had let it be known at the office that they should not wait for his return. Perhaps he would be joining his family on their way to Israel, after all. His Bulgarian employer understood and congratulated him on his decision. Luna was afraid of being parted from her father, but Alice had no doubt as to his final decision.

  About thirty minutes before departure time, Asher slowly ascended the stairs to their apartment, looked around him, and without uttering a sound picked up his white rucksack, into which he proceeded to place the carved shaving box Alice had given him as a wedding gift. Rucksack in hand, he made his way back to the apartment door. Alice got up, slapped Luna on the shoulder and said, a big smile on her face, “Get going, girl, we are on our way to Eretz Israel.” She then locked the door behind them and took the key out of the keyhole.

  On their way down, her neighbor had already been waiting. She took the apartment key from Alice and they exchanged hugs and kisses. In any case, there was no reason to charge her for the housewares; Bulgarian currency could hardly be exchanged for anything of value in Israel and she had no time in which to use it to buy valuables.

  As the train was making its way towards the Yugoslavian border. It was impossible to tell if its Jewish passengers felt joy or sorrow. The views from the train windows were familiar and long chapters of their history had been written among them. The adults fell deep into thought and the children respected their quietude. Luna pressed her nose to the windowpane, not wanting to miss any of the views outside, wondering what her new life would look like over there in Israel.

  The train came to a stop at the border. The skies were heavy with impending rain, as if they could divine the mood of the people below. Feeling the full weight of the awesome moment, with many a mixed feeling, the passengers disembarked from the train, lined up on the train platform, and sang the old Bulgarian national anthem, which they had modified for the occasion:

  Bulgaria, our beautiful homeland!

  You
are Paradise on Earth!

  No words can ever describe your beauty,

  Your mountains, your meadows, and your sons.

  We shall miss you, our homeland!

  Even as we are on our way to forge a new one for our children,

  We shall never forget you!

  Alice and Asher stood on the platform hand in hand, both refusing to believe that fate had brought them to this point. Alice had fulfilled her brother’s last will and testament. She was going to reunite with her eldest daughter in the Land of Israel without having given up on her beloved or on the unity of her family.

  Alice intertwined her fingers and looked at them carefully. How full of strength were these fingers. How determined to continue the struggle for survival. The great circles of her life were closing now, each in its own good time, but each without fail.

  At their port of departure, the three of them boarded their vessel, stood, hand in hand upon its deck and together with fifteen hundred voices sang the anthem of their old-new homeland:

  As long as deep in our hearts

  A Jewish soul yearns

  And far to the East

  A Jewish eye is turned

  Yaffo, Israel, 1963

  The big clock rang out one o’clock with a deep, muffled ring. Four pairs of moist eyes, never blinking so as to not miss a word. One in the morning. For a number of hours now, grandmother had been sitting on her high bed, her four granddaughters seated on cushions on the floor around her, while she was talking with her usual ardor. Perhaps the rhythm of her breathing had slowed somewhat after such a long journey. She smiled with her wonderful smile and let out a contented sigh. “But grandma, you cannot stop now, when you just came to the most interesting part of the story. What happens with Alice in the Land of Israel?” Grandma said that she thought we were tired and that it was especially important that we would be wide awake for that part of her story, so she would continue tomorrow. Never hiding our reluctance, we got up and put ourselves to bed, head to toe, toe to head. When all of us closed our eyes, grandma looked up at the big mirror on the armoire door. An old, tired woman looked back at her. A thin fog was slowly covering the mirror’s face and with it, a young blue-eyed girl was emerging, wearing a polka-dot dress, sitting on the side of a well, ready for her life’s journey to begin.