What She Concealed

by Jannat Bhat

  “What is it?” She asked.

  “Be happy.” He said and turned away.

  Eliana felt wary of his words and went after him catching him in the parking lot. “Julian wait!” He turned at her voice. “You’ll come back right?”

  “It shouldn’t matter to you. You’re happier when I’m not around.” Julian said, not meeting her eyes.

  “That’s not true Julian.”

  “I have to go.” With a nod, he drove out on his bike and disappeared from her view.

  “Why is he being like this?” She said out loud.

  “Because it’s hard for him.” Ethan said coming behind her with Mia. “Because he’s still in love with you and being around you as if you’re nothing but friends tortures him.”

  “No matter how much you both try to fight it, Eliana, you both love each other like crazy. Don’t let your doubts ruin something so rare.” Mia said.

  “But he . . .” Eliana tried to explain what she was feeling but failed. “Why is it so easy for him to leave? He said goodbye. Again.” Eliana frowned.

  “Did it ever occur to you why he keeps leaving? It’s because you never stop him.” Ethan said.

  “But I did ask him to come back.” Eliana turned to face him.

  “Did you?” Ethan asked leaning against his Volvo. “There’s a difference Eliana, he is different. He won't tell you that it’s killing him to stay next to you as you are right now. He won't tell you that he wants you back unless you show him that you do too.” Ethan sighed. “Look, he might not be the kind of man you were expecting to fall for, but he is someone you were meant for,” He said. “Don’t forget, Eliana, somewhere between him coming into your life and leaving, there was love. So much love that it’s burning him alive.”

  “If he could just talk to me.” Eliana murmured.

  “Have you ever felt like you’re doing the right thing, but it ends up being the wrong one?” Mia asked her.

  “What are you trying to say, Mia?”

  “I’m saying that is how Julian feels. That no matter what he does he can never do right by you, Eliana.”

  “He’s wrong about that,” Eliana said.

  “Then you should go tell him,” Ethan said wisely. “I should go,” Eliana agreed.

  “You should. Right away.” Mia hoped she could catch Julian before it was too late.

  “Thank you, Ethan and Mia. You both are amazing friends. To me and Julian.” She hugged them.

  “Yeah.” Ethan said. “Just don’t tell him that.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Eliana smiled as the decision made the weight lift off her chest. She loved Julian, she knew that. And if the rest of the world could see how much he loved her too, then she couldn’t stop herself anymore. She won’t let him go this time. He had said he’ll try to be better. But she’ll try to be better too. So she took to her car and was on her way to her beloved. This time she wouldn’t allow any ego, any doubts or any differences keep them apart. She loved him and would make him acknowledge that.

  When she reached his apartment building, she prayed that she hadn’t missed him and that he hadn’t left already. She ran up to his floor and saw the door to his apartment was slightly ajar. Some things never change, she smiled. She knocked twice but there was no answer so she stepped inside. “Julian?” Still nothing. She walked further in and saw a bag on the couch, his clothes spilled carelessly from it. She sat next to it and picked up a dark looking cloth. Upon closer inspection, it was the same sweater she had gifted him on Valentine's. Next, her eyes fell on an upside-down frame in the bag. She slowly turned it around and saw that it was the picture of the two of them dancing that she’d given him. He wanted to go away from her but he could not flee from her memories. She heard the shower run and stood up. Minutes later Julian came out, shaking water from his hair and a towel wrapped loosely around his hips.

  “Julian,” She said announcing her presence to him. He immediately looked her way and saw her run towards him as she wrapped him in a tight hug. Julian stiffened at the sudden contact. He didn’t say anything and left his hands hanging by his side not returned the gesture.

  “Why are you here?” He asked.

  “Where else would I be? I love you, Julian.” She said.

  “No, you don’t.” It hurt him every time he heard her say this and not mean it.

  “I was just mad, Julian. And when I get mad I distance myself and ignore people and say stupid things, until I’m not mad anymore. I do love you, Julian. I do.” She said, watching water drip from his hair onto his cheek.

  “It’s just what you think you’re feeling right now. Give it a day or two and you’ll say differently. Trust me, I speak from experience.” He said, avoiding her eyes. He couldn’t let himself look at her because if he did, the wall he had built to keep her away would crumble like sand. Her presence had cracked it already.

  “Julian, that’s not . . . I don’t want to lose you.”

  “And I’m tired of waiting around hoping that someday you’ll decide that you do actually want me.” He sighed deeply. “Go back, Eliana.” He moved around her but she caught his arm.

  “I can’t live without you, Julian.” She said hoarsely.

  “Words are only words, Eliana. You should know that better than anyone. Go back.” He freed his arm and went to his room to get dressed. Eliana didn’t expect this to be easy, she had hurt him badly but like she had promised herself, she won’t give up. So instead, she sat on his couch refusing to move. He came out and asked her to leave yet again but she didn’t and took hold of the strap of his bag, not allowing him to leave either. He tried to take it from her but she had a death grip on it. Reaching to the end of his patience, he simply yelled at her to stop.

  Eliana burst into tears right in front of him as her emotional bucket toppled all over and Julian cursed aloud punching the wall in frustration. She opened the door with a jerk and took off running.

  “Damn it!” Julian shouted and went after her. He hated to see her cry and spotted her sitting and sobbing on the train track. “Eliana! What the fuck do you think you’re doing? He yelled.

  “Why the hell do you care?” She yelled back without looking at him. She was gazing into distance to see if there was any oncoming train. There was one coming right her way.

  “Eliana, get back here this instant! I’m warning you.” Julian’s heart was thudding so hard against his chest that he felt it in his throat.

  “Do you still love me?” She turned around to see him, her hair whipping around her in the wind. “Yes or no?”

  “You need to stop this nonsense and get off the track, Eliana, PLEASE!” He had never been so frightened in his life. Had she completely lost her mind?

  “Fine then, if you don’t love me anymore, then I shouldn’t matter anymore either.” Eliana prayed hard that Julian would give in before the train splattered her all over the track as the sound of the engine got closer. She didn’t want to do this but desperate times called for desperate measures. And he had always made her act out of character.

  “Eliana, please come back, for god’s sake.” Julian stepped as close to her as possible.

  “Answer me first. Do you still love me?” She turned to him again.

  Julian swallowed hard. “Eliana please . . .” He pleaded.

  She shrugged and turned. “Time to die I guess. And you’re right, I will haunt your ass as a ghost. Say goodbye to my family and friends for me.”

  “YES, I LOVE YOU!” He bellowed. “I NEVER STOPPED!” Julian crept closer to her, anguish clear on his face. “That’s why I’m trying to stay away from you.” He was close enough now to grab her hand and he pulled her away with the train missing them by inches as they stumbled back onto the hard ground. “Just because I let you go doesn’t mean I wanted to, Eliana.” He said once the train was past and it was quiet again.

  “I love you too, Julian. So much that it hurts to stay away.” She said and he captured her lips roughly pouring all his pain into it and th
e two lovers held onto one another as if their life depended on it. “Don’t ever say goodbye to me again, you hear me?”

  “Why didn’t you say anything back at school?” He asked.

  “I was afraid that you didn’t want me anymore.” She said, lowering her gaze.

  “That’s never going to happen, Elly. My heart still beats for you and it will for as long as I’m alive.”

  And just like that, he put a smile on her face. “Do you promise not to fight and push me away again?” Julian asked, forehead against hers.

  “I’ll always fight with you. But I promise I won’t push you away from me.” Eliana said, enclosing herself in his warm embrace.

  When the two returned to school next week, Ethan and Mia were the only ones apart from Jax, to notice the difference in the two friends and they sent a silent thank you to the universe that they had sorted out their issues. Now only if Ethan could sort out his feelings and confess them to Naomi, things would be perfect. The redhead had got to him just like Eliana had got to Julian. But things weren’t as simple as they looked. Naomi hated him and he had hated her. Until he had fallen in love with her that is. God help the fallen, he sighed and got to class.

  Julian and Eliana were at their lockers saying sweet nothings and holding hands when Julian asked if she wanted the others to know about them yet. “I do. But I don’t want to just put it out there and shock them because believe me they will be shocked.” She said.

  “And why’s that?” Julian asked, running tiny circles on her palm with his fingers. Now that she was his, he could barely stay away from her.

  “Because I’m the good girl and you’re the . . .”

  “Dark and dangerous one?” He grinned. “Thanks for the compliment. I want to take you out, Elly, you know, for a proper date. Julian’s style.”

  “Julian Rivera, I’d love to go on a date with you.” Eliana smiled lovingly at him. Julian looked like a completely new person when he was happy.

  “That’s what I like to hear. My girl being all compliant for me.” He kissed her hand. “I’ll pick you up tonight night at eight.”

  “How about I meet you somewhere and we’ll go from there. Dad might be home and Jax too. I don’t want to explain things to them right now.”

  “Okay, then I’ll pick you at Starbucks then.”

  “Done.” She grinned at him. The cafe was their spot after all.

  When Naomi barged through the door and opened her locker muttering to herself, they sprung apart and busied themselves in their lockers. Jax, Mia, and Carter followed.

  “Guys, you’ve all been so nice to me since I’ve joined Imperial High and especially after that bind with my parents, that I want to you show you how much I appreciate your friendship and value you all. So I want to take you out for dinner tonight.” She said to them.

  “But Naomi, you barely make enough for yourself.” Mia said gently. “You don’t have to do this, we love you anyway.”

  Naomi shook away her concern. “It’s okay, I got a raise for being the dazzling personality that I am. Now . . . what do you guys say?” Mia, Jax and Carter agreed but Julian and Eliana said nothing. “It’s going to be so much fun!” Naomi was excited.

  “What about Ethan?” Jax asked her.

  “He’s not important.” She said nonchalantly. “If you want to invite him you can go ahead. He’s a ghost to me anyway.” Naomi said, feeling her cheeks warm up at Ethan’s name. She had become more aware of the chiseled guy recently that she was too confused to even ponder on it. “So what do you say, huh?” She looked at the secret lovebirds.

  Julian and Eliana shared a conflicted look. “Um, actually Naomi, I’m sorry but I can’t make it,” Julian said.

  “What? Why not?” Naomi pouted. “I need you both there too.”

  “I’m supposed to meet an old friend of mine.” Julian excused. “Who is this friend? What’s his name?” Ethan asked joining them.

  “Just someone. You don’t know him.” Julian waved it away.

  “Sure I don’t.” Ethan looked smug glancing at Eliana who looked a little pink.

  “That sucks,” Naomi said. “At least Eliana’s coming, right?” She looked hopefully at the dark-haired girl.

  “She can’t come either,” Julian said before Eliana had a chance to speak. All of them turned to Julian including Eliana. “And why is that?” Jax asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Because, uh, she’s uh, she’s sick.” Julian improvised giving Eliana a knowing look. She had to stop herself from grinning at his tactics. “I’m sick?” She asked Julian. “Yes, Eliana, you are sick.” He said enunciating each word. “Oh, right. I’m sick.” She turned, grinning inside her locker and hiding her face from the others.

  “She looks perfectly fine to me,” Carter said.

  “Bro, you have to look at her from my angle. Come here and see how pale she looks.” Carter stood next to Julian and looked at Eliana once again. She subtly closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.

  “You’re right, bro. She does look unwell.” Carter said.

  “See, I told you,” Julian said.

  “Well, alright. I’ll just postpone it then.” Naomi looked bummed

  “Hey, now no need for that. You go out and have your dinner. We’ll try to make it if we can.” Julian said consoling her.

  “You sure?” Naomi asked.

  “Yes, now let’s go before our teachers start a world war with us,” Julian said and they went on their way.

  Naomi, Ethan, Jax, Carter and Mia went to an Italian restaurant called RED SAUCE. It was the perfect setting for a private dinner and a date, which is why coincidentally both Eliana and Julian ended up at the same place too. They just didn’t know it yet. Eliana met up with Julian at the cafe as promised. “How do I look? Nice?” She asked as he guided her back to his car.

  “You never look nice, Elly,” Julian said opening the door for her. Eliana pouted and stopped from getting in the car. “Ah, my bad. You never look just nice.” He kissed her cheek. “You look beautiful, Elly. Whether it’s a dress or my oversized clothes, no matter what you wear, you’re always going to be stunning.” Eliana felt heat creep up her cheeks and stepped into the car. Julian closed the door behind her and went to the driver’s seat making their way to the restaurant. Once they were seated in the outer area near the fountain, Julian couldn’t take his eyes off the girl in front of him as the candlelight magnified her beauty and made her green eyes sparkle like jewels. He recalled how similar she looked with her wet hair dangling in her face back at his house in Greenwood. She blushed to have his dark eyes look at her with such intensity. “I’ve never been on a date before,” Eliana said biting her inner cheek. Guys had asked her out back in Japan but she had always made up an excuse because she just didn’t see them that way. Not the way she saw Julian. And she was so glad now that she had refused them all.

  “I’m glad I’m your first.” Julian felt possessiveness wash over him. “And last.”

  “If you’ve had your fill of staring, can we order?” Eliana asked, amused.

  “Please.” Julian motioned his hand at the menu. Eliana was going through the contents of the menu when a blonde girl about her age walked up to them. “Julian Rivera, I can’t believe it’s you.” The girl said.

  “Ah . . . do you know me?” Julian tried to place a name with the face.

  “Of course. You are not the kind of guy a girl can forget. It’s Stephanie, from Greenwood. Stephanie Garner. Remember me?” She said wrapping her arms around Julian’s neck in familiarity. Eliana watched with raised eyebrows.

  “Right, Stephanie.” He said. “How are you?” He genuinely couldn’t remember her.

  “I’m fine as you can see. You seem even more handsome than I recall.” She flirted, touching his chest. Julian glanced at Eliana who was now looking at him with narrowed eyes, the menu laid forgotten on the table. “Why didn’t you call me back? I waited so long for you but you just vanished.” She pouted, provocatively, her long red fingerna
il sliding over his pectorals.

  “Uh, Stephanie. . .” Julian removed her hand from his chest acutely aware of Eliana’s attention on them. “I moved out of town.”

  “That’s a shame. Well, make sure you call me whenever you do decide to come back.” Stephanie removed a pen from her purse and took a tissue from the table writing down her number on it. “I’ll wait for you. Whenever. Wherever.” She winked at him and left without acknowledging Eliana’s presence.

  “Ex-girlfriend?” The dark-haired girl asked in annoyance.

  “Ex-hookup,” Julian said honestly and tore the tissue into pieces.

  “So experienced aren’t you?” She sat back in her chair folding her arms.