Believe You Me!

by W. W. Jacobs

  IV

  ANYTHING ONCE

  I

  AINT it funny the things that comes into a person's head when they arerubbing cold cream onto their nose? All sorts of stuff, some of it goodsense and some of it the bunk. But most of it pretty near O.K. If someone was to take down the ideas I get at such a sacred hour, I'd be outof the dancing game and into the highbrow class just as quick as theprinter got through his job.

  It sure is a time when a woman's true thoughts come to the surface alongwith the dust and last night's make-up, and many a big resolve has beenmade owing to that cleanly habit. Wasn't there some wise bird made up aquotation about cleanliness being next to God knows what? Well, believeyou me, its the truth, for once a woman starts in with the cold creamall alone,--and she sure does it at no other time--there is no tellingwhat will come of it beside a clean pink face.

  With me personally myself, thats where most of my ideas about life comefrom--right out of the cold cream tube! And while indulging in this wellknown womanly occupation the other evening I commenced thinking aboutrest and how important it is for us Americans--and of the way we goafter it--like it was something we had to catch and catch quick or itwould get away from us. Do you get me? If not, leave me tell you what afriend of mine, which has just been mustard out of the service says tome, when I was checking up his experiences abroad while he was checkingup what the waiter had put down.

  "My idea of rest?" he says. "Why taking Belleau Woods after threerestless weeks in the trenches," he says.

  Which sort of puts the nut in the shell, as the saying is. And also atthe same time reminds me of the rest I just recently took.

  Not that I generally need one any more than any other thoroughlysuccessful star, for heavens knows the best known parlor dancing act inthe world and Broadway, which mine undoubtedly is, dont need to restbecause the managers theirselves always come after me and resting Ileave to the booking-agency hounds. But this time it was bonea fido, andcome about in a sort of odd way.

  To commence at the start it begun with me falling for the movies, whichGawd knows I only done it for the money, their being no art in it, andthey having hounded me into them for a special fillum. And of coursemany well known girls like Mary Garden and Nazimova go into pictures andeven myself, but its simply because of being hounded, as I say. But oncein you earn your money, believe you me, and I have stood around waitingfor the sun like Moses, or whoever it was, until my feet nearly froze tothe pallasades before jumping off, only of course it was a dummy theythrew after I had made the original motions of the leap to death. Andthe worst part is once you are signed up on one of these "payment to bemade wheather the party of the first part (thats me) is working or not"you got to do like they say, and a whole lot of the "not working" meansplain standing around waiting for the director or the camera-man or therain to quit, and what us public favorites suffers when on the job isenough to make the photographor's Favorite of Grainger, Wyo., abandonthe career she might of had in favour of domestic service or somethinglike that where she'd get a little time to herself.

  Well anyways my judgment having slipped to the extent of having signedmy sense of humor away for six months at twenty-two hundred a week, Iwas in the very middle of a fillum called the Bridge to Berlin when oneday, just as a big brute of a German officer by the name of O'Flaretyhad me by the throat in a French chateau, the studio manager comes inand says the armistice is signed and the war is over, and we was to quitas who would release a war fillum now and we was to start on somethingentirely different, only he didn't know what the hell it was to be andhere was eight thousand feet wasted--and believe you me I was soremyself for we had shot that strangling sceene six times by then and mymarcelle wave was completely ruined by it, and I would of liked to ofhad something to show for it.

  But anyways, orders was to quit and so me and Ma and the two fool dogsand Musette left the wilds of Jersey and after a stormy voyage acrossthe Hudson come safely home to our modest little apartment on the drive,there to not work at 22 hundred a week until Goldringer got the studiomanager to get the scenario editor to get me a new story, which at theprice was not of long duration for while Gawd knows they dont care howlong a person stands around waiting to be shot, they just naturally hateto pay you for doing the same thing at home in comfort.

  Well anyways the bunk that scenario editor picked out was somethingfierce. I wouldn't of been screened dead in it. But it just happened Ihad a idea for a scenario myself, which come about through somebodyhaving give me a book for Christmas and one night, the boy having forgotto bring the papers, I read it. And was it a cute book? It was! I had areal good cry over it, and while it wasn't exactly a book for a dancer,I could see that there was good stuff in it. So finally me and Mastopped into Goldringer's office after he had twice telephoned for meand handed him a little surprise along with the volume.

  "I got a idea for a picture, Al," I says, "and here's the book of it."

  "Well Miss La Tour, what's the name of it and idea?" says he, chewingon his cigar strong and not even looking at the book but throwing it tothe stenographer, which is a general rule always in the picture game andone reason we don't see such a crowd of swell fillums.

  "The name is Oliver Twist," I says. "It's a juvinile lead the way itstands, but I want it fixed up a little, with me as Olivette Twist--theeditor can fix it so's that will be all right. It's really a swell part.I could wear boy's clothes some of the time."

  "Huh! Olivette Twist," says Goldringer, taking back the book and lookingat the cover of it. "Always thought it was a breakfast food! But if yousay its O.K. we'd better get it. Where is this feller Dickens? We'llwire him for the rights. Friend of yours?"

  You see, if anybody brings scenarios personally, a star in particular,it's generally a friends.

  "No," I says. "It was sent me by Jim along with a letter which shows thebird is well known," I says. "And is in Westminister Abby, London,England, which Jim says proves his class.

  "Must be a swell apartment," says Goldringer. "All right we'll send acable to him and see if the picture rights is gone or not. If the boyis so well known he may stick out for a big price. This is Thursday. Wemay hear from him by Monday or Tuesday, and we'll get a scenario readyanyways so's we can begin to shoot not later than a week from to-day.Until then," he says, "run along and amuse yourself and dont do anythingI wouldnt."

  Well, me and Ma was shown out then and down on Broadway Ma see somesalt-water taffy in a drug-store and wanted to go in and by it which Ihad to prevent because outside of Ma being in no need of nourishment,she weighing considerable over the heavy-weight requirements already andGawd knows if she was to have went back into the circus it would nolonger be on the trapeese and a certain party in the side-show wouldhave a strong competitor for her job and it wouldn't be the humanskeleton either. But leaving off the consideration how would it look forus to go up the Ave. in my new wine-colored limousine which I earnedmyself and no one can say different with truth--and eating stuff likethat out of a folded paper box? Ma certainly has my health well in handand heart and its seldom we quarrel over any little thing, but shecertainly has no class instinct, or instinct for class--do you get me?And when I try to make her see that them little refinements is whatmakes me the big success I am, she sometimes kicks and if its hunger,its got to be met immediately if not one way, why then another. So inlieu, as the poet says, of the taffy I had to take her to the Ritz andwatch her put away 6 vanillia eclairs at two bits each and a quart ofcocoa, not that I begrudge the money, only believe you me the way allhotels charge nowadays is rapidly making Bolshivik out of even wecapatalists. Do you get me? You do! But of course in my line you got tokeep before the public in the right way.

  Well anyways Ma complained over the loss of that taffy the whole waythrough the six eclairs, which it was certainly a little hard on me tohave to sit there and watch her while for professional reasons eatingonly one of these tomato surprises which never surprise but the once, onmy figures account, and certainly its a fact that the two o
f us wasdoing the next best thing to what we wanted instead of the thing itselfwhich is one of the prices of success. So, as is also often the case atsuch times, I was a little mean to Ma on account of having been meanalready--do you get me?

  "Mamma," I says. "You certainly are getting heavier. It's a crime for youto wear these narrow skirts!"

  Ma give me a searching look the same as used to lead up to caster oilwhen I was a kid, and then took the half of a eclair at one bit beforereplying.

  "Now Mary Gilligan you needn't take out your artistic temperament or anyother ailment on me!" she says as firmly as the eclair would permit."Just because Jim is in France yet, and your moleskin dolman was afailure and you aint been occupied daily for a week or more, and slippedup on doing your setting up exercises this morning which I wouldnt ofmentioned only you started it," she says. "Its no excuse for picking onme," she says. "What if I am a little plump? My Gawd aint I earned theright to be? What with three kids and your Pa to bring up and the centertrapeese in the circus right through it all except when absolutelynecessary? You dont know what a woman _can_ go through!"

  "Dont I, just!" I snapped for my Gawd aint it the truth every woman hasthe very worst troubles that any woman ever had? And she sure gets sorewhen another woman sets up to go them one better!

  "No you don't!" retorts Ma with that maddening air of being older thanme which she uses to squelch me every time she cant get me any otherway. "No you dont!" she says. "You never brought up three kids without anurse girl while on the trapeese--you never brought up a thing but twofool dogs and you even leave them to the carelessness of a personalmaid," she says. "Poor dears, Gawd knows what will become of theirlittle canine minds and morals!"

  "Now Ma!" I begged, because she aughter know that is a sore point withme and not intention, and she had me on the raw.

  "Well then!" she says. "You got a swell job and no troubles only mabe asluggish liver and you aint the only woman in America which Gen.Pershing cant yet spare the husband of," she says. "And mabe I do needto reduce a little," which was her way of apologizing. And just as thislull occurred who should come into sight but Maison Rosabelle, her whichruns the shop where myself and all the most chic professionals getstheir clothes. She was all dressed up like a plush horse with realsables, part of which must of come off them simple refined little gownsI had made for the Bridge to Berlin that was ruined by the armistice.Her hair had just been rehennered and her face was as fresh as atea-rose straight from the fragrent facial massage. She smiled andsailed down on the two of us which we welcomed with the usual relief ofa family quarreling when neither sees the way to win out and have got togo on living together. In other words she automatically buried thehatchet for us, as the school books say.

  "So pleased to of run into you, dearies!" she says. "For I'm goin' toAtlantic City to-morrow for a little rest."

  No sooner was them words out from between her lip-rouge than I see avision of salt-water taffy arising in Ma's eyes. Believe you me Ma iscertainly hard to pry loose from anything she has once set her mind on!And Maison had to continue in that cordial manner.

  "Why dont you run down for a few days?" she says. "It'll do you good.You're looking kinda pulled down Mrs. Gilligan!" she says--and of courseMa fell for that.

  "I do feel a little low!" she says, finishing off her cocoa. "AndMary--Marie here is waiting until they get a answer to a cable whichwas sent to England by the studio. I understand we may have quite await, so I really believe we might go along."

  II

  NOW as I looked at Ma it come over me that mabe she had the right dope.When people that live together, especially if not friends, butrelations, commence to get a little on each others nerves, going away ona trip is good for what ails them. The only trouble is that in the caseof females they generally go together. Still, with the whole bunch ofnew and different stuff it gives them to fight over--R.R. tickets, andwho wired for these horrid rooms, and I told you to bring a heaviercoat, and etc., they generally get straightened out quite a lot. Eventhe idea of going along with Maison didnt worry me then, I having beenon tower many a time when the No. 1 Company went out and Ma the same foryears, and we generally speak, even to the publicity man, no matter ifwe have made Rochester, Buffalo and Chicago in a quick jump playingmatinees as well. So I am without the wholesome and well founded fearof taking a pleasure-trip with friends which is the bitter fruit of mostpersons experience of the same. Besides, I sort of like Maison, which ofcourse her real name is Maisie Brady, and her funny little husband,which is also still in France, she not being dependant any more thanmyself nor would she hold him back from serving his country only I donthardly believe she urged him to go for quite the patriotic reasons Idid, he having been a traveling man and so when he retired on her incomeshe didnt feel as natural and affectionate and homelike and all that aswhen he was away most of the time. But at any rate I and she were bothwar-widows and old friends from the time her mother was lady-lion tamerand mine on the trapeese, and so in spite of the bills she charges meshe has more refinement than most people and so I says all right, we'llgo to Atlantic City and we'll be on the one twenty train to-morrow.

  "Thats sweet, dearie!" says Maison. "We'll get a swell rest!"

  Then she set sail and was off with a Jewish gentleman friend, which hadbeen waiting at the entrance all this time with a gardenia in hisbuttonhole. And Ma and me called for the check and dogs and limousineand hitched our way homeward through the traffic to our quiet littleapartment with 7 windows with the beautiful outlook of the river and theR.R. tracks and etc.

  Then while Musette packed only three trunks and my gold-fitted dressingcase and a couple of hat boxes and my specially designed jewellery boxand the travelling hamper for the dogs, we having decided to travellight and probably not stay over three or four days, Ma went into theall-tiled kitchen and commenced getting up a little smack of cold beefand potato salad and fried cheese sandwiches and coffee and a few hotbiscuits and honey so's we wouldn't have to go out and eat, which Macertainly loves to do and no cook ever stands it for more than a weekand the current cook's week was up that morning before we went downtown.

  Well anyway while she was doing this I went into the drawing-room whichis all fitted up in handsome gold furniture--that the dealer said wasone of the Louis periods. Louis Cohen I guess,--I never remember quite.And to put a record on the phonograph in the case I had especially builtin the same style at fifty dollars extra and all the instalments paid,and streached out as good as I could manage to on the chaise loung,which is a sort of housebroken steamer-chair, and while John Macormik'sown voice sang my little grey home in the west to me in the privacy ofmy own home, I thought dreamingly about Jim and how much I was missinghim and how swell we danced together and how kind and loving and bravehe was and how refined, and believe me he's about the only theatricalmale that don't murder a dress suit, and how horrible it was to beseperated from him after being married only two weeks and what fools wewas to have danced together in every first-class theatre in America andonly got married so recent, for if only we'd been married sooner mabethe pain of seperation wouldnt of been so great by now. Who knows? Andbelieve you me it was some pain, and I had myself crying before I knewit. For I sure am stuck on that poor simp and my only war-work aint beendone on the screene, Gawd knows, when I give him up to whatever theAllies was fighting for, which if it dont turn out to be as represented,believe you me, myself and a whole lot of other girls is going to wantto know why!!

  Well anyways, before Ma had the biscuits baked and I had run jada jadaand sing me to sleep, I was wild to get away to the pure country oceanair and some healthy outdoor exercise which would help me forget myloneliness. And a lot of quiet and rest and sleep, with the oceanpounding me to the pillow and all that.

  I had only a sort of twenty minute small time sketch of a idea of whatAtlantic City was like on account of me having been there for openingsonly and getting in at four forty five with the show beginning at eightfifteen and the washup you need after the trip and Ma al
ways insistingon me doing a twenty minute practice in my room and underwear beforeevery opening which is perfectly correct and one of the principal thingswhich has made my handsprings what they are, and getting dinner farenough in advance to do the hand-springs in time. I knew little nornothing of what Jim calls the Coney Island that went to finishing schoolexcept that there is swimming and horseback riding and a boardwalk thatany one without French heels to catch in the cracks can have a elegantwalk on. What little sniff of air I had outside the theatre and mybedroom at the hotel give me a appatite for more, which up to now Inever had the opportunity to get because of always being with ahigh-class show that went right back to N.Y. Sunday to open on Broadway.But now I was going like a regular American lady citizen to rest and getfull of health and do as the regular resorters did. And I was glad. Iwas so anxious to keep myself in a pure atmosphere for Jim's sake andthe studio wasn't exactly the farm--do you get me? You do! And a rest inthe country was the very thing. I got quite excited thinking about it;dried my tears, stopped the phonograph and made sure that Musette put inmy riding suit, bathing ditto, and walking boots. And when this was doneI felt better already as the saying is, and fully able to take some ofthe nourishment Ma had got up.

  The minute we set down to the table I see that she had also been makinggood resolutions and waited till she got ready to confess. It come afterthe seventh tea-biscuit and honey. On her part I mean, I only takingcoldmeat and salad and things I dont like much, for reasons beforestated.

  "Mary Gilligan!" she says. "I believe I'm getting heavier," she says,just as if it occurred to her for the first time. "And I have decidedthat while I am away to Atlantic City I wont eat to amount to anythingand reduce in other ways the whole time I'm there!"

  "You dont say," I says, without batting an eye. "Do you really think youneed to?"

  "I do!" she says. "This is my last real meal. And you needn't try topersuade me out of it."

  I didn't. And next morning right after breakfast we caught the onetwenty, hats, dogs, Musette, and all, and met up with Maison Rosabelle,which was dressed in a simple little trotters costume of chiffon andermine which looked like it had been made in Babylon. I mean B.C. notL.I. And with her was a little surprise in the way of the same Jewishgentleman, Mr. Freddy Mayer, with another gardenia on him and a fineline of plausable explinations.

  "Aint it a co-co-strange, Freddy just happens to be going our way!"cooed Maisie with all the innocence of a N.Y. livery-stable pidgeon.

  "Yes, I'm taking a special offering of champagne to a special friend inthe hotel business there," says Mr. Freddy. "And with three suchbeautiful lady companions its no hardship to leave Manhattan behind northe Bronx," says he gaily. "Altho when we come back we may find theAldermen has decided to change both names after July first," says thehumorous dog.

  "Will you please kindly open this window a little?" I intrupped him."The air in here aint so good as it was."

  I dont know did this get over, but believe you me I didn't care for thatwell washed young wine-seller at all, nor for his company. And it was arelief when he done as I asked and him and Maison found their seats wasat the other end of the car. In a way I can understand her likingtraveling-men but not up to the point of traveling with one, even bysemi-accident. And so opening the Motion Picture Gazette to look at thedouble-page spread of myself "Who has at length been lured by theartistic possibilities of the picture world," and keeping a eye on Ma tosee would she stop the candy-boy, settled down to the soothing sound ofMaison's laugh, and begun my quiet little trip to Healthland.

  There is a large variaty of ladies which have husbands still in thearmy, but believe you me they certainly got one thing in common, orelse no looks at all. And that is, the temptation to take up with othercompany to some degree. Because of course while the war was holding thestage a husband's absence could be stood, but what with thispeace-hyphen in the fighting and everything, you cant help but commencewondering what kind of a girl is detaining him over there and feelinclined to have a understudy kind of waiting off stage in self defence.For believe you me, there seems to be something sort of attractive abouta war-widow and the ones which ignores the fact and minds their ownaffairs is the real patriotic women of America.

  Not that I want to say a word about Maison, and what happened to meafter the end of that train ride on which I was sitting sosuperior-minded, taught me a lesson; because its a cinch to be good whenyou want to be. A person which has suffered themselves is slow to bawlout the other fellow so quick next time. Do you get me? Not yet.

  Well, after we had rolled by the lovely scenery and read the handsomead. signs on either hand, not to mention the pipe-line, and got theinvigorating smell of low tide in our eager nostrils, we come out onthat quiet little country railroad station platform, our destination, tobe greeted by only several hundred busses and a thousand or sotaxi-cabs, each yelling at the top of their voices. As we got off thetrain Maison rushes up to us and pipes a cheering little question.

  "Where are we going, dearie?" she said, blithly.

  "Where are we going?" I says. "Maison Rosabelle, do you mean to say youdidn't wire no place for rooms?"

  "Why no!" says Maison. "Didn't you?"

  "Certainly not!" I says. "I never wired for rooms in my whole life. Theadvance agent always done that for me."

  "Well Mary Gilligan, I'm not your advance agent!" she snapped, and thenshe kind of looked at Mr. Freddy in a sweet, helpless womanly fashionexpecting him to fork up a little help. But it seems Mr. Freddy was oneof these birds that only think to take care of his own comfort. He had aroom alright at the Traymore. And he meant to keep it!

  "We'll take the bus to there," he suggested. "I'm sure there'll be lotsof room."

  But no bus for me on account of professional reasons. So we took onetaxi for him and us and another for Musette and the dogs and the bags,and then commenced a round of seeking for shelter as the poet says,which had the "Two Orphans" skun a mile. We went to six hotels and not aroom among them. Believe you me, there is just one person can make youfeel cheaper than a Atlantic City hotel clerk when he says "Noreservations?" and lifts his arched brows, and that is the head waiterwhen he says "nothing to drink?" and you say "yes, nothing!" Well, thankGawd thats one thing prohibition will prohibit.

  Well anyways, we tried six hotels until at last we come to a littleplace where the young feller at the desk give his reluctant consent toour admission. It was a simple little place done quitely in red plushand gold and marble columns, very restful with not over a hundred peoplesitting about in the lobby, listning not to the sad sea waves but to ajazz orchestra and inhaling the nice fresh tobacco smoke of which theair was full.

  Well, Mr. Freddy give a gasp of relief and bid us good-by, after datingup Maisie for dinner, and a flock of bell-hops hopped upon our stuffand we commenced a walking tower to our rooms. As we started off downthe Alleyway, Maison give me a nudge.

  "Look it, that sweet young officer! Aint he handsome?" she whispers onlyjust loud enough for him to hear. And before I thought I turned my headand he certainly was easy to look at. He looked, in fact like a crossbetween a clothing ad. and a leading juvinille with a touch of bear-catin him to make a regular he-man out of him. He was a captain, althoughso young, and had a cute little moustache and had that blue-bloodedair--you know--like a Boston accent even without hearing him speak. Andhe was sitting all alone under a big poster advertising a entertainmentfor the benefit of blind soldiers or something. Of course I didn'tnotice him at all, because I being a perfect lady I dont do them things.But I couldnt help seeing that he didn't blush at what Maisie said,although I knew he heard it, but a sort of crinkly expression come upround his nice blue eyes as if he thought us comic or something. It mademe just boil because my clothes is nothing if not refined and I neverwear anything but a little powder on my nose when off the stage, and ifits one thing gets my goat it is to be taken for a show-girl whichundoubtedly he thought the two of us was and they not in his class, foreven with the passing glance I had taken I co
uld see he was used to theVanderbilts and all that set and had never had to be taught to take hisdaily tub. Do you get me?

  So I walked like I hadnt looked, and of course I really hadnt, andproceeded to the before the war section of the hotel and the handsomesuite all fitted in real varnished pine and carpets just like aRochester boarding house when I was on the small time before I made mybig success, and it made me feel quite at home or would of only for whatI knew the difference in price was going to be. I guessed it just assoon as I heard Ma gasping over the hotel rules which she was reading. Iwent over and looked at them too, and at first I couldn't see nothingunusual about them. There was the usual bunk about the management notbeing responsible for the guest in any way, and Gawd knows how couldthey be and I dont blame them. And then, a little ways down I see whathad got Ma stirred up. It seems dogs was ten dollars a week per each,and of course we had two of them and Ma never has cared for my two,anyways.

  "Well, I hope the sea air will be good for the poor little lambs," shesays very sarcastic. "Mebbe it'll make 'em grow--into police-dogs orsomething useful!"

  Well I see by this that the salt air had not yet got to Ma, although thetroublesome journey had. And so I put on a simple little suit of Englishtweed and low heeled shoes and a walking hat, which seemed to me theright thing for the country, and went out to pry off a little healthbefore dinner.

  The outdoors was something grand. The air was as good a cocktail as aperson would want, and the lights along the boardwalk was coming outlike dandelion blossoms. There was hardly anybody around--just a fewhere and there and the surf of that wide and cruel ocean which Jim wasthe other side of, was breaking close to the rail in big white ostrichplumes. Overhead the sky was as clear and high as a circular drop withthe violet lights on it, and a few clean stars was coming out. It wasjust cold enough to make a person want to walk fast until the blood gotsinging through you and you wanted to shout and run, only of course nolady would. But just the same, I commenced to feel glad I hadnt diedwhen I had the measles, and I loved everybody and had a great careerbefore me and--and--oh that grand yearning happy feeling which comes outof being young and full of strength and a good bank-account. Do you getme? You do!

  Well anyways, here I was walking like I had money on it and huming atune to myself, when along comes a man the other way, walking two to myone, and huming the same tune, "How I hate to get up in the morning," itwas. When he heard me and I heard him we both sort of half stopped outof surprise, and I got a good look at him. It was the young Captain fromthe hotel.

  He also give a start of surprise when he seen me, showing he recognizedme just as good as I did him. Only it was a real, genuine start, as ifhe realized something more than the fact he had seen me at the hotel.Then he smiled--a smile which would of done any dental ad. proud, andpassed along, looking back over his shoulder--once. While I went alongminding my own business and only know he looked back on account of myhappening to look back to see how far I had gone. I went a mile furtherand somehow that smile of his stuck in my mind and made me sort of happyfor no reason, and at the same time awful extra lonesome for Jim. I madeup my mind I would get Jim a new car for a surprise when he come homeand I would send him a extra box of eats this week and some of themcigarettes he likes so well, and a whole lot of stuff like that, the waya woman does at such a time. Do you get me? Probably.

  Well anyways, I walked myself into a terrible enthusiasm over Jim, andthen come back to the hotel. Which, by the way, its a strange thing howmuch further it is coming back to a Atlantic City hotel than walkingaway from it. And there at the door was Ma with the two dogs. A realstrange sight for I never knew her to take them out before, and itlooked like a guilty conscience, for she give me a peek out of thecorner of her eye for some reason and then hastily explained how she hadthought she'd take them herself this time instead of Musette. Well, wegot rid of the dogs and then come down to dinner where Maison saileddown upon us all dressed up and no place to go, for it seems this Mr.Freddy had stood her up on the dinner, having telephoned he'd be overlater with a friend or two but business prevented him paying for hermeal, or at least thats what I expect he meant. And Maison was wild. Butshe had to eat dinner with us, and register a bunch of complaintsbetween bowing to friends and so forth.

  "The luck I have!" she says. "That guy Freddy doesn't think any more ofa nickle than he does of his right arm! And with all the conventionswhich is held at this town of course we would have to pick on the datethe Baptist ministers was here! Its a fact! The clerk told me. And whatis more if there ain't Ruby Roselle and Goldringer and will you look atthat wine and it twelve a quart without the tax! Well, of all things!"

  III

  And there sure enough was Ruby across the room with Goldringer, which heevidently had come down to wait for the answer to that cable in thefresh air, and I suppose Ruby was a accident, the same as Freddy, forgoodness knows, I wouldnt say a thing against her even behind herback--and a good deal could be said behind what shows of it when incostume. But I wouldnt say it anyhow, because even if it was the truththat woman would sue a person for liabale if only to get her name in thepaper. And if she happened to be taking dinner with Goldringer, Gawdknows, its a comparatively free country and he's her manager as well asmine and its a good thing to assume its only business whenever possibleas thinking the best of people never hurt anybody yet.

  Also across the room all by himself was that young Captain, and helooked over twice but of course I pretended it was the picture on thewall over his head which had took my eye. Altogether that strange diningroom wasnt much more lonesome to us than the Ritz or Astor for tea wouldof been. But the most remarkable part of the meal was Ma. Because shedidn't touch it! Actually, and it the American plan which would temptone of these Asthetics if for no other reason but that you have to payfor it anyway. And all she took was a piece of meat about the size of adime and a leaf of salad.

  "I'm going to stick by what I said if only because you said I wouldnt!"she says, looking me square in the eye. "Diet is my middle name."

  Well, I mentally give her until to-morrow on that but said nothing atthe time. And we went out into the lounge where Mr. Freddy and threefriends was already lounging and after they had joined us, Goldringerand Ruby did the same, and the drinks commenced to flow with thatfrantic haste like into a river at the edge of the ocean as the poetsays, meaning because its near its finish. While I, never using anyalcohol myself except to remove my make up, sat there flushed with Bevo,and couldn't help noticing the way the Captain which he was still allalone, looked over at the menagerie, and it made me boil for how could Ihelp that piker Freddy and his cheap friends and the rest, and believeyou me there are many perfect ladies in pictures and on the stage, onlythe public dont often recognize them because they are swamped with abunch of roughnecks which all are popularly supposed to be.

  It was a big relief when the Captain got up and went away about nine,and left us to a endurance contest as to which could sit up the longestin that refreshing atmosphere of cigarette smoke and drinks andten-dollar perfume with the sad sea waves beating vainly outside thecarefully glass enclosed verandah until one o'clock--when I personallywent to bed leaving them to their fate.

  I give the telephone operator a terrible shock by leaving a call forseven thirty, and when it come I put on my riding suit which I had leftfrom a dance called "The Call to Hounds" which Jim and me done at thePalace just before he enlisted, and went out into the keen morning air.And it was some air! Then I commenced to look around for horses but hadgreat difficulty in finding the same, for it seems the Atlantic Cityhorses dont get up any earlier than most of the visitors, and believeyou me I and a few coons which were picking up scraps and so forth offthe boardwalk, was the only birds in sight at that hour. Well anyways Iwalked along breathing in that sweet air at about fifty cents per breathby the hotel rates, but feeling pretty good in spite of it, when Iactually found a place where the horses was up--or mabe they had beenall night. I got a horse which looked considerable like a moth-e
atenproperty one but could go pretty good and commenced to ride gently alongwhat seemed to be my private ocean, when all of a sudden who would Isee but the young Captain riding very good indeed. He come up to me onhigh and then tried to put on the brakes when he seen who it was, butthe horse had its mind on something else and wouldnt, so he got by mebut not without a "Good morning!" Which I thought fairly safe to smileat seeing we was so rapidly going in opposite directions. But it seemshe must of spoke roughly to his steed for he come up behind me and spokewith just that grand refined Big-Time drawing-room act accent I knew byhis little moustache he would have.

  "I say! What luck!" he says. "You are Miss Marie LaTour, are you not?"

  Was I sore? I was. Any lady would be and of course after the company heseen me in at the hotel what could I expect but to be picked up? Butmore particularly as he had my name and it with a good reputation, andno one can say different with truth, I simply had to show him where hegot off.

  "Sir!" I says, just like a play. "Sir! I do not know you. Please beat itat once!"

  "I know, but really!" he begged, flashing that white smile. "I'm nottrying to be impertenant--let me explain...."

  "Explain nothing!" I says very haughty. "I wont listen."

  "But I'm not doing what you think!" he cries out. "Please wait until youhear...."

  "I've heard that 'please listen' stuff before," I says. "Good-by!"

  And then I done the bravest act of my life, not being really acquaintedwith horses, especially Atlantic City ones. I give the horse a lash andoff we went, I trying hard to give the impression of a good rider andnot looking back because I dasn't with that animal headed for the steelpier full clip. But I heard the Captain's remarks, just the same.

  "By jove, I'll _make_ you listen to me--just for that!" he says. And Iheard no more, for the bird which keeps the horses come out and rescuedme just before we hit the pier and I got off and started for the hotel,boiling with rage. Me treated like a common chorus girl! Me, once thebest known parlor dancing act in the world, and now even more so on themotion picture screen and a lady or dead! I wouldnt of looked at thatguy again on a bet--I made up my mind right then and there to show himhis mistake and that if my accent wasnt as good as his my morals wasbetter and no attempt on his part could get me to speak to him again.

  Well in this state of mind I run into Ma, just before we reached thehotel which she was hurrying to just ahead of me, and believe you me Iwas sure surprised because I never knew her out so early although shegenerally is up by seven, but with her curlpapers still on and a kimonaand thats different from coming out in public.

  "I've been taking my exercise!" she says before I could speak. "And I'mglad to see you do the same," she says.

  And I certainly had to hand it to her strength of mind because afterbeing out so early and all she eat was only tea and dry toast forbreakfast.

  After which we stopped by the office and just before we got there I seethe Captain give a note to the clerk and walk away. When we asked formail that note was the first thing the clerk handed me.

  "Captain Raymond just left this for you Miss LaTour," he says.

  I didnt even open it.

  "Kindly return it," I says, very dignified, giving it back, and lookedover my other mail. But no letter from my husband, which is always theway on a day a woman most needs one. So I went upstairs very low in mymind and sort of glad that even if Jim couldn't think to write there wasothers would be glad enough to if they was let. And then I went and gotMaison out of bed which she was taking her breakfast in.

  "You come down here for your health and look what you do to it!" I says,and made her go for a boardwalk which she held out for about half a hourand no wonder with the heels she wears, and then stopped me with a gasp.

  "Dearie, you surely must be the one that put the hell in health," shesays, "For heavens sakes leave us sit down."

  Well we did, and in about five minutes along comes Mr. Freddy with afriend, Mr. Sternberg, and it was remarkable how quick Maison recoveredher strength, with the result that we spent a quiet little morning andabout fifty dollars of Mr. Sternberg's money on shooting-galleries andthrowing rings and carousels and a Japanese auction and other restfulseaside sports, and ended at a quiet little cafe simply done in paperroses and rubber palm trees where the drinks was only seventy-fivecents per each and I had to sit and watch them again, Ma having goneoff to exercise and not appearing to want me along with her.

  Well anyways I was sort of relieved over not having to eat lunch withCaptain Raymond looking on back at the hotel, and was just thinking ofit when who would come into that cafe but the Captain himself, aloneexcept for another officer, a Lieutenant with his arm in a sling andcaught sight of me the very minute he sat down.

  Well of course I didnt look over at him but I couldnt help noticing hecalled a waiter and wrote a note on a piece of paper and that the waiterbrought it over to me.

  And Maison seen it too, and her gentleman friends the same, and did theykid me? They did! But I kept the bird which had brought the note overwhile I tore it in two without reading it and sent it back again thatway and believe you me that got over, because I could see CaptainRaymond turn red all the way across the noisy room.

  Well I thought that had settled it and spent a mournful if busyafternoon in another cafe where there was lots of smoke and a Jazz bandand dancing and Maison was real happy because she had finally got Mr.Freddy to spend a nickle and a half. But I was lower than ever in mymind thinking how much more often some soldiers seemed able to writethan others.

  Well, after we had taken a nice walk in the fresh air nearly threeblocks long, I got back to the hotel to find that Goldringer was givinga party that night beginning with dinner and of course Ma and me wasbooked for it and no escape because of my contract with him. And it wassome party and at twelve o'clock that night I dragged my weary bonesdown the corridor after the second day of my rest, feeling that I wouldpass out any minute. A person certainly does need their strength toenjoy a American health resort.

  The next morning I didn't even attempt to get up for any wild westexhibit. I hadn't the pep for one thing and the Captain was anotherreason of course. And when I finally come down-stairs and see Ma eatpractically nothing, I let her set off right away after breakfastwithout me for exercise was nothing in my life. I strolled around thelobby waiting for Maison Rosabelle according to her request and there Iseen a big poster which I had noticed before, the one about theentertainment for the benefit of blind soldiers which the Captain hadbeen sitting under the first time I--he saw me, and I went over and readit and the entertainment was to come off that very night. And while Iwas reading it the second time the way a person does in a hotel lobby,up comes Captain Raymond and actually speaks right there where a sceenewould of proved me no lady.

  "Please, Miss LaTour!" he says. "It's so _important._"

  "Kindly do not force me to call for assistance," I says low and quiet."You are a stranger to me."

  "But you dont understand!" he says, flushing up red the attractive wayhe had for all he was so fresh.

  "Indeed I do," I says. "I havent been in the theatrical world sincethree generations for nothing," I says. "Kindly go _away!_"

  "If you would only listen for five minutes, I'd prove how mistaken youare!" he says. "Won't you give me a chance?"

  "No!" I says.

  "By Heavens, I'll make you!" he says, half laughing. "I've never seenanything so absurd! Why my dear lady...."

  Right then up comes Maison in a simple little Xmas tree of a dress ingreen and gold and red, and I broke away and took her arm, and hurriedher out through the front door, leaving the Captain staring after us andrather against Maison's will.

  "Why didn't you introduce me, dearie?" she says. "I kind a thought you'dpick up that bird!"

  "I didn't pick him up. I turned him down!" I snapped. But Maison kiddedme the whole three hours while we was in the beauty-parlours gettingwaived and manicured.

  IV

  Then we had a nice wholeso
me little lunch lasting only three hours andcomparatively quiet and by ourselves, seeing there was only Goldringerand Ruby Roselle and Maison and Freddy and O'Flarety, our leadingjuvenile who had turned up, and Mr. Sternberger and a friend of Ma'swhich used to be in the circus with her, and Ma and myself. And all theway through I watched Ma kind of anxiously, for she only toyed with alittle salad and passed up everything else. I was by this time reallyscared she would be haggard or something, but she looked fine, and nota word of complaint out of her, only toward four o'clock she got kind ofrestless, and so did I, so we excused ourselves, and walked to the doortogether.

  "You needn't come along with me, Mary Gilligan," she says. "I want towalk real fast."

  I looked at her sort of surprised at that, but at the time the queernessdidn't really sink in. And I was so wore out I was actually glad to lether go alone and personally, myself, I took one of those overgrownbaby-carriages or rolling chairs which I thought a healthy young personlike myself would never come to, and sank into it like the poor wearysoul I was, and let the coon tuck me in like a six-months-old, and offwe went as fast as a snail.

  Well it was pleasanter than I had thought it would be and I got kind ofdrowsy and dreamy and somehow I couldnt help but think of CaptainRaymond and how refined and nice he was and how my fame and beauty hadcaptured him to the extent that it had almost made him forget to actlike a gentleman, and how he persisted like a regular story book hero.And I wondered if he would shoot himself on my account, and that threw aawful scare into me, for handsome women have a terrible responsibilityin the way they treat men. And I wondered was I really doing the rightthing, taking such a risk by treating him so sever and not speaking andhere he was in the service of his country and all and Gawd knows I mightbe wrecking his whole life from then on. And furthermore I thought howhard it is to be refined and what a lot a person has to sacrifice to it,and that the roughnecks of this world seem to have most of the fun. Andthat it was certainly hard to be dignified but that my whole career wasbuilt on my refinement no less than my great talent, and I must respectmy own position. Ah well, uneasy lies the tooth that wears a crown asthe poet says, or something!

  And by this time the coon had got tired pushing me and turning my facesea-ward had gone to take a rest and I took one too and actually fellasleep.

  When I woke up I was moving again, going slow in the direction of theInlet, and I felt quite refreshed and happy, and the whole of AtlanticCity appeared to feel the same, for everybody I passed smiled and seemedto be enjoying theirselves. And they all seemed to smile at me in such asweet, friendly way it made my heart feel awful good. I was even quitesurprised because although of course I am used to being recognized everyplace I go, but still, more people than ever was doing it thisafternoon. I begun to think I must be looking pretty good and that myhat, about which I had had a few doubts, was a big success after all. Itreally was a sort of triumphal progress as the saying is, and I had halfa mind to turn around when we passed the last pier; but the ocean lookedso beautiful and pink in the sunset and going the other way it would ofbeen in my eyes, so I just let myself be rolled on and on until we wasalmost to the Inlet and not a soul in sight. Then the chair stopped andwas turned against the rail.

  "Now I've got you at last!" said a unexpected voice, and around from theback came, not the coon, but Captain Raymond.

  "Where did you come from?" I asked, hardly able to speak.

  "I have had the honor of pushing you into this secluded corner of--ofthe ocean!" he said, his blue eyes twinkling.

  "But how--how . . ." I sputtered.

  "I bought off the colored man while you were sleeping," he said. "Andhave been your humble servant for almost an hour!"

  Can you beat it? You cant!

  "Well of all the nerve," I began, remembering how people had smiled, andno wonder!

  "What are you going to do about it?" he asked.

  "Walk home this minute!" I says, struggling with the rugs. But they hada will of their own and it was on his side and I just couldnt seem toget free of them.

  "Oh I say, don't be so absurd!" he says smilingly.

  "I'm not!" I says.

  "Oh but you are!" he insisted. "Just sit still and let me show yousomething!"

  Well, there was nothing for me but to give in or look a utter fool, andhe _was_ so attractive! And, well anyways, I waited and he brought out aletter from his overcoat pocket and it was the very one he had wrote mefirst and I had returned it to the hotel clerk.

  "Please just open it!" he begged, and I did and nearly fainted becauseinside was a letter in Jim's handwriting addressed to me and introducingCaptain Charles Raymond who was with him in France, only being gassedwas now home on leave and would I show him every courtesy as he hadbeen good to my ever loving husband, Jim!

  "And really and truly I wouldn't have been so persistant, Miss LaTour,"Captain Raymond was saying as I looked up. "I had intended using it whenI got to New York of course. But when they put me in charge of thisentertainment for the benefit of the blind, and I discovered you werehere, I was simply determined to get you to take part in it. Couldn'tyou do us just one little dance? It would be such a drawing-card, yourname would. That was all I wanted, really!"

  Believe you me I didn't know what to think or how I felt. Did I feelflat? I did! Did I feel relieved? I did!! So it wasnt a mash at all, andfor a moment I felt a lonelier war-widow than ever. Then I rememberedhow Jim said in the note to be nice to this bird, and I could see, nowthat I looked at him good, that he was the sort which it is perfectlysafe to be nice to. Not that he didnt admire me, either, but that he wasjust as refined as me and more so and was Jim's pal beside. So I saysyes, of course I would dance, and we talked and talked and the sun wentdown, and got to be real friends and was it good to hear about Jim,first hand? IT WAS! And after a while we commenced to walk back towardthe hotel, pushing the chair, and the lights was all lit along the walklike Fairyland, and also in the shops so they was more like show-casesthan ever. And then I got the second shock of the afternoon because atten past six with dinner at seven, there was Ma in the Ocean Luncheating griddle-cakes, fish-balls, Salsbury steake and coffee, with alittle strained honey and apple-pie on the side! No wonder she coulddiet so good! And I take it to my credit that, since she did not noticeme, I never let on that I seen her, not then nor afterward at dinnerwhen she refused everything but two dill pickles!

  But it wasn't until afterward when I was in the star dressing-room atthe Apollo Theatre, putting on my make-up for the benefit that the realblow came. I was just about ready to go on when in rushed Goldringer,all breathless with a cablegram in his hand.

  "Its all right about Olivette Twist!" he puffed at me. "We'll beginmaking that fillum Tuesday!" and he threw the message down on mydressing table. It was signed by our London manager and it read:--

  "Present location of Charles Dickens uncertain but material isuncopyrighted, shoot."

  And so immediately after the show, myself and Ma went back to New Yorkto get a twenty-four hour rest before commencing work again.