Cheers to the good life

by Lorena Franco

  Iwastemptedagain.ThetemptationtotellhimwhoIreallywas.ButthenIthoughtabout Napoleonagain,andthefeelingwentaway.AndtellhimIsawspiritstoo!Noway.

  "IcanonlytellyouthatIloveyou."Again,theautomaticpilotinmeturnedon.WasIreally thinking?WasItrulyfeeling?Possibly,sometraceofthepreviousMarta,stilldominatedthe bodyIwasin.Myactionsandmywords.That'swhyIlovedAlejandro.That'swhyIwantedto bewithhim...withoutmytrueandcompleteself,Iknewwhathewaslike.

  "Andyou."

  We hugged and for a long time. In my previous life, I never had a hug like that; Warm, sincere ... pure magic, pure LOVE. But I couldn’t focus on Alejandro. In that town, the

  inhabitants and tourists lived with many spirits who were passing us by smiling and being participantsinthebeautifulscenetheylookedandenvied.Ishooedthemsignalingforthemto leaveandtostopbotheringme,buttherewasnowaytheyweresonosy.IrememberedJohn Lennon and how many hugs he would see in the streets of New York, without having the opportunitytofeelarmsaroundhisbodyagain.AndIthankedthehippy(SaintPeter),thenew opportunityoffeelingthewarmthofagoodhug.

  "Whatshouldwedo?"Iaskedshruggingmyshoulders."Let'sgouptothecastle."

  Wepaidforthecoffeesandwentupwithourhandsentwinedalltheslopethatwas,until reachingthe top ofthe town. Wecross with more tourists,few inhabitants andin my case ...

  with many ghosts. Countless spirits that roamed those cobbled streets. Most of them wore clothes from their own time period. Peasants, nobles ... a couple of women in wonderful medievaldressesthatremindedmealotoftheVeniceCarnivalwhereIwasfortunatetohave beenlikeLauraSmithfivetimes.Fortunately,nooneseemedtoneedthehelpofamortal.They lookedhappy,watchingthelivingwhooccupiedtheplacewheretheywerelongago.

  Wesatonastoneobservingthelandscapebeforeus.Alejandrowrappedhisarmaround

  mywaist,protectingmeatalltimes.TellinghimthatIwassweatingbecauseoftheunbearable heatandhisstrongarmdidn’thelprelievemyhotflashes.Butdespitethisdiscomfort,Iwas happy. And not happy because I signed a millionaire contract for being the face of a brand, boughtthebestdressesandheelsformydressingroom,rentedabigapartmentinNewYork City or had the most envied mane of the planet ... an AUTHENTIC happy, for that little big momentthatIwaslivingwithmynewbody.

  Chapter5

  PHANTOMS

  It was night. Alejandro slept peacefully between my sheets, while our mobile phones were ringing off the hook. I had countless WhatsApp messages from Felisa and Alejandro five hundredthousandcallsandvoicemessagesfromtheblonde,whowasapparentlypissedoff.

  But Alejandro didn’t care. We made love three times, merging into one being and being the bestsensationIhadexperiencedinmynewbody.Atfirst,IfeltinsecureaboutallthefatMarta hadaccumulatedfrompoordietandzeroexercisethroughoutherlife...butAlejandrolooked at me as if there wasn’t a more perfect woman. Not even as Laura had anyone looked at my bodythatIwassoarrogantlyproudof.

  Theterracelightwason.Icaughtaglimpseofsomethingbetweentheblindsintheroom, as a shadow came and came at a great speed. There was someone on the terrace. Without makinganoise,itleft.IsawtheGhoststillpacingfromsidetoside.

  "Teresa,mynameisTeresa,"shesaidwithoutlookingatmyface.

  "HelloTeresa.Thanksfornotcomingtotheroom,atleastyou'vebeendiscreet."Igaveher awink.Shewasaspaleasthenightbefore,scaredandveryfrightened.

  "Tomorrowistheday.Tomorrowistheday."

  "Isyoursongoingtobelost?"

  "Mysonisgoingtobekidnapped."

  Now the one that was pale was me. How could I prevent a kidnapping? kidnappers are supposed to be tough and with the new physical shape I was in, I doubted very much that I couldrunthreeminutesinarow.

  "Donotpaceanymore!Isaid.Iwasstressed."Doyouknowthekidnapper?"shenodded.

  "ButIcan’treportitifhehasn’tdoneanythingyet..."Isaidtomyself.Teresawasstartingto getnervous.Shescreamed.Asyouonlyscreamwhenyouareshoweringandsomeoneappears withaknifebehindthecurtainofthetubtostabyou.IalsoscreamedasIfeltahandonmy shoulder.

  "Whatareyoudoingawake?"Alejandroasked,smilingandhandsomeevenwithasleepy face.Iturnedaround,andTeresawasgone.

  "Have you seen the stars? Isn’t it wonderful ... I could not sleep," he kissed me. "By the way...doyourememberTeresa,thewomanwhodied?"

  "Teresa,thewomanwhodied?Noidea."

  "Youdon’t?Withafive-year-oldson..."

  "Itdoesn’tringabell,no.Areyouokay?"heasked,touchingmyforehead.

  "Yes,Yes.Buteveryoneknowseachother,right?"

  "The for the most part. But now it’s summer and the town is full of out of towners.

  Vacationersandstuff.Wannagobacktosleep?"

  "Okay..."IheardthechillingcryofTeresainmymind.

  Waking up at noon with Alejandro's arm wrapped around my waist was a marvel. I had slepttenhoursstraight!Butagain,thethoughtofTeresa'ssonmademerestless.Accordingto the ghost, the boy would be kidnapped today! TODAY! I got up quickly from the bed.

  Alejandrogrimacedandsaidawordthatsaidsomethinglike"Shuafffma".

  I searched the internet for deaths in the village, Teresa, obituaries, a five-year-old kid, kidnapping ... NOTHING. I couldn’t figure anything out. I called Felisa but I couldn’t get a wordinedgewiseuntilaftertenminutesinwhichIhadtotellindetailallthathappenedwith Alejandro.Shewashappyformeandpromisedtocometotownintheafternoonforcoffee.

  Resigned by the complicated matter of the ghost and without knowing where to begin to helpher,Iwenttothesquaretogetwater.Theremyoctogenarianangelsatwithafriend.Both spokeanimatedlyandshoutedateachother,since,Isupposed,inanormaltoneofvoicesurely theywouldhearnothing.Igreetedthem.

  As I filled my green bowl, the conversation between the two octogenarians began to interestme.

  "PoorTeresa-fiftyyearsagotoday,andherpoorchild,"begantheladywithawartonher forehead.

  "Fifty? We were thirty-year-old kids!" sighed my octogenarian angel. I turned the tap on andwalkedovertothem.

  "WhowasTeresa?"Iaskedcuriously.

  "Aneighborhereintown,"saidthewomanwiththewart.

  "Andwhathappened?"

  "Thepoorthingdiedveryyoung."

  "She had a son?" I asked for. The two women were glad that I was interested in their conversation. "I would like to know the story." My octogenarian angel rubbed his hands and lookedupasifremembering,shebegantospeak.

  "Teresa lived in that house there," she said, pointing to the house up the street, where a womaninherfiftiessatsmokingacigarette.WithherhusbandandhersonlittleErnesto.The poorgirldiedofpneumoniain1960ifIremembercorrectly.Todaywasthedayhersonlittle Ernesto disappeared 50 years ago. He was only five years old and from what they count, somebodykidnappedhim.

  "Someoneintowndidit?"

  "Wedon’tknow.Hisfatherwenttotheorchardandwhenhereturnedhome,thechildwas gone.Theysaytheywerevacationers,butnooneelseknewabouthim."

  "Whatashame."

  "That’s horrible, Angustias, just awful," said the other lady, who finally discovered the nameofmyoctogenarianangel.

  "Thankyoufortellingmethestory,Angustias.I'mgoinghome."<
br />
  "Iseeyouhavecompanytoday,eh?"saidAngustiasteasing.Ilaughed.

  "Nothinggetspastyouall"-andIwenthomewithmybasin.

  The paparazzi were no longer in my life. Now it was the octogenarians who wanted to knoweverythingabouther.Ilaughedtomyself.AndIthoughtbacktoTeresaandhowlostshe hadbeenalltheseyears,tothinkthathersonwasstillachildandwoulddisappearonthatday, July22.Inpart,Iwasrelievednottohavetofightagainstanykidnapperorforceofevil,but ontheotherhand,itwouldbenoeasytasktoexplaintoherthatthechild,now55,mightbe alivesomewhere.Iassumedthatherspirit,perhapsinpeace,onlyreturnedeveryJuly22totry toavoidtheabduction.Akindofloopthatthepoorgirldidn’tknowhowtogetout.Horrible, if I had to live over and over again the day the toaster fell on me or, I remember well, a December 13 in which a mojito cocktail spilled on my $7000 Paco Rabanne dress, right in frontofthetopmodelsonlyopenedtheirmouth(alittle)andsaid"Ah."

  WhenIgothome,Alejandrowaswaitingformewithtwocupsofcoffeeonthetable.

  "Chattingwiththetwogrannies,huh?Iwentoutforcoffee."

  "Thankyou!"Igavehimakissandimmediately,afirstanddesperatesipofcoffee.Isthere anythingbetterinlifethancoffeeinthemorning?

  "Youwanttodo?ArewegoingtoeatatthePortagem?"IhadnoideawhatthePortagem wasbutIsaidyes.

  Beforegettingready,Iwentuptotheterracetosmokeacigarette.Alejandroaccompanied me, although he kept insisting, that my lungs would be black and I would die of serious respiratoryproblemsresultinginaslowdeath,fullofagony.MaybethatwaySt.Peterwould welcomemewithopenarms,Ithought.

  "Speakingofthesubject,I'dliketoknowsomething...Whatdoyouthinkaboutdeath?Do youthinkthereissomethingafterwedie?Alejandrolaughed.

  "Whatkindofquestionisthat?No.Idonotthinkthere'sanythingafterwedie.Theworms eatusandthat'sit."

  "Mmmm ... it may be ..." I said, looking at Alejandro out of the corner of my eye and smiling.Hissharpresponseanddisbeliefatstrangeandspiritualphenomenamademerealize thatIcouldnevertellhimanythingaboutmypreviousandcurrentcourseoflife.Andmuchless ofmyjourneyasaspirit.Orthatwithmypresenteyes,Icouldseetheotherside...thetrapped ghosts,lookingforgossiporproblemsbeforegoingtothelight.HewouldpassoutifItoldhim thatasaspirit,ImetJohnLennonhimself,mynon-friend.

  AlejandrosighedandIdidn’tneedtobeaspirittoknowwhathewasthinking.

  "I'mgoingtoAveiroonWednesday,"hesaidatlast.

  "Haveyoumadethedecisionyet?"henodded."Andthere'snothingIcandotomakeyou stay?"Iasked.

  "Iinsistyoucomewithme."

  "No, Alejandro...I have a lot to do here." And even though the town wasn’t New York, I wassurprisinglystartingtolikeit.Ididn’tevenrecognizemyselfanymoreandIlikedthattoo

  ...

  "Igetit.Well,I'monlythreehoursfromhere.Icancomeonweekends."

  "You'll find someone there. For sure. And you'll be fine, the new job looks great, right?

  Therearetrainsthatonlypassonceinlifeandthisisoneyouhavetocatch."

  "I'llloseyou."WhatpoorAlejandrodidn’tknowwasthathealreadylosttherealMarta.I wasjustafake,butapparently,helikedit.

  "Youwon’tmissanything.Look,let'sdoonething..."Iclaspedhishandsashe,lookingat meenrapturedandwithapermanentsmileonhisface.Asadsmile,butasmileatlast.Let’s live on day at a time, each one as if it were the last. Today, tomorrow, past ... and on Wednesdaygo,gowithagoodmemoryofme.Andforgetallthebad.Henoddedsadly.

  "Tomorrowandpastyou'llbeatthesupermarketallday..."Ihadcompletelyforgotten.

  "You'llcomepickmeupat...

  "Atnine."

  "Fine, at nine." It horrified me to imagine working at the supermarket from eight in the morninguntilnineatnight.Whatkindofschedulewasthat?"Andwewillspendthetwomost incrediblenightsofourlives."

  "Youtalksodifferent...Idon’tknowwhathappenedtoyou,Marta.ButIlikeyoumorethis way."

  Pointforme!ZerofortherealMarta!

  Attwoo'clockSpanishtime,wewenttothePortagem.Itwasfullofpeopleinaverysummer attire,sincetherewereacoupleofpoolsnearby,evenanaturalonethatfascinatedme.Wegot thebesttableintherestaurant,oratleastitseemedthatwaytome.Withprivilegedviews,we satatatablebytheriverandagentlebreezecaressedourhappyfaces.

  "Bytheway,"Ibegantosay,"it'snotfornothing,butIthinkit'srudeforyounottocallthe womanyouweregoingtomarry."Alejandroopenedhiseyeswide.

  "Shit,Iforgotallabouther."Hewouldhavetostaywithher,wouldnothe?

  "I think it would be the right thing to do. Go see her this afternoon, Felisa is going to comingtohavecoffeewithme.

  "Okay. You see how different you are? The old Marta wouldn’t have mentioned Ramona againandwouldhavethought"shecankissmeass".

  "What?Thatisnoexpressionforayounglady."MyrefinedmannerslikeLauraappeared.

  "AtleastyougotridofmarryingawomanwhosenameisRamona...nooffense,ofcourse."

  "Mygrandmother'snamewasRamona,"hesaidseriously.

  "See?..."

  "Ihatethatnametoo,"hewhisperedwithalaugh.

  We ate a delicious grilled cod and grilled sardines and then went for a walk along the river. In the background, there were cheerful shouts, children, music and the splash of pool water.ThenAlejandrotookmehomeandafteralongkiss,hewenttotheoldtown-that'show IstartedtocallValenciadeAlcántara,becausefromwhatIreadonWikipedia,Iwasinoneof thesmallvillagesofhiscountryside-;ToseeRamonaandtalktoherabouttheissueoftheno-wedding.IputmyselfintheplaceoftheblondeandIfeltbadlyforher.Inturn,Ithoughtthat AlexanderwasnottheperfectmanthatIwantedtoseeatfirst.AlthoughIhadnothingtodo withit,IrememberedFrederick,aFrenchproducerwithwhomIcoiledeverytimeIwentto Paris.Hewasmarriedwiththreechildren,butwhenIwent,Ilefteverythingforanightoflust and passion with his favorite model, as he called me ... which made me think, I was not the only top model was sleeping with, but I didn’t care. It was good, it was the only thing that

  matteredtome...withoutfeelings,withoutcomplications.Atnotime,didIthinkofhiswife, lockedupinalargemansionontheoutskirtsofPariswithherthreechildren;Thinkingthather husband had to work all night. How deceived I was ... for the first time, I felt sorry for this woman and for so many others, whose husbands preferred to be with me than with their families. I would have liked to see Frederick’s face and that of all my ex-lovers when they learnedthatIhaddied.Wouldanyonehaveshedatearforme?Ihighlydoubtit.

  Atfive,FelisasentmeaWhatsAppmessagesayingthatshewasalreadywaitingformeatthe Bar del Pino. Shit. Where was the bar? I supposed that with how small the town was, there couldonlybeone.So,Iwalkedthroughtown,upthestreet,downthestreet,greetingeighty-fiveyearolds,fiftyyearolds,teenagersandchildrenplayinginthestreets.Ihadn’tseenthe townsoanimatedinthetwodaysIhadbeenthere.Ipassedbyachurch,throughanothertown square-butwithoutafountain-acoupleofalleys...andatlastthebar!Withasmallentrance andawoodensignthatread"BAR".Felisawasinside.

  "Girl,whattookyousolong?Goodthingyou'reonlytwoblocksaway.Iorderedyouand icedcoffee."

  We went out to a terrace where several octogenarians played cards and some teenagers sharedatablebutnoconversation,cau
ghtupintheirmobilephonesandIPads.

  Felisa was nosy. Very nosy. She wanted to know everything and if I felt that things were stilltobeexplained,sheaskedinsistently.

  "So,ishestaying?"

  "No.He’sleavingonWednesday."

  "What?Ithoughtyou'dconvincehimtostay."

  "I can’t do that, Felisa. It's a good job, he should take advantage of it. Besides, it's only threehoursfromhere."

  "Well...weallknowhowthesethingsend,"shewarned,lightingacigaretteandoffering meone.

  "Letitendifitmustend.Doyoubelieveinfate?"Ilaughedatherfacethatsaid"Whatdid you just say?" Apparently, the former Martha didn’t ask such deep questions and surely, she didn’tbelieveinfateoranythingelseafterdeath."Ido,"Isaid.Andifmydestinyistoendup withAlejandro,IwillendupwithhimevenifhegoestoJapan."

  "That'swhatyou'rerightabout...whateverwillbe,willbe."

  "Andtellme...howdoyoufindlove?"Felisablushed.Shehesitated,smiled,andlooked down.

  "There’s still no one in my life... I don’t know; it’s not easy like your history with Alejandro. Since you were kids you said you were getting married and stuff and in adolescence.Youhavebeeninlovewitheachothersinceforever...it’ssobeautiful!Inspite ofeverythingthathashappenedthesemonths...Butsincethetoasterincidentatthestore,Isee you’rebetter,right?Youdon’tgetdrunkanymore,yourejectalltheguysexceptAlejandro...I don’tknow..."

  Yes,averybeautifulstory...Ithought,asIponderedmyresponsetoherstatementabout mysuddenchange.OnlytheonewhohadalwaysbeeninlovewithAlejandrowasnolonger there. And I actually believed mine, in spite of being special, was infatuation. No not yet. I couldn’tbeinlove,Icouldn’tbe.OrwasI?

  "I'mbetter.Ihaveunderstoodthings...Icannotliverecklesslyafterall.Andwemustbe with the people who are worth it, the ones that matter to us and who we care about." Felisa was astonished at my words and so was I. I couldn’t help but think about my parents, my brothers,myfuturenephew...orniece?InLaura'sfamily,ofcourse.HowlittleIvaluedthem