Cheers to the good life

by Lorena Franco

  ...andthattheyspokesobadlyofmeinthemorguewithmybodystillpresent!

  "Hello?DidthislecturecomeoutofMartaMatalascañas?"

  "Pleasedon’tremindmeofmylastname..."

  Westartedlaughinglikequinceañeras.IlikedFelisamoreandmore.

  "Bytheway,takethis.Alittlegift."Shegavemealittlebasketofflowers.WhenIopened it,Isawawonderfulmake-upkit.Iwantedtocryagain.

  "Thankyou!"Iexclaimed,embracingmyfriend.NowIonlyneedtodoexercisetogetmy buttintoshape.

  AfterhalfanhourAlejandroappeared.Sohandsome...sotallandstrong.Smiling,winkingat me and pulling a lock off his forehead. He greeted in the Spanish custom of a kiss on each checkandoneformeonthelips.

  "Hownicetoseeyou,"Felisasaid,smilingwithhealthyenvy.

  "Whowouldsaythat,wouldnothe?"Alejandroanswered,lookingatme.I’llnever,ever forgetthewayhewouldlookatme.Thewayyouonlylookatsomeoneyoureallylove.Like noonehadeverlookedatmebefore.

  While Felisa and Alejandro spoke of I do not know what party of the town, I saw to the othersideoftheterracebehindafence,theghostofTeresa.Sad,somber,anguished.

  "Forgivemeamoment."Isaid,gettingupfromthechair.Ileftthebarandwentdownadirt roaduntilImetTeresa.Iwentafewmetersdown,makingsurenoonesawme.Igrabbedmy cellphoneandlookedatTeresa,Istartedtotalktoher.

  "Today,theykidnapmysontoday,"sherepeatedagainwithobsessionandsomemadness inherdarkeyes.

  "No, Teresa. Your son was taken fifty years ago. Do you understand that?" she was confused, but listening intently. "He disappeared fifty years ago, he is no longer five, he is fifty-fivenow."

  "Itcan’tbe..."sheshookhishead.

  "Youdiedmanyyearsago."Ipausedasanoldmanpassedby.AllIhadtodowastellher totellmethatshewascrazyandtalkaboutdeathalone,evenifmycellphonewasstuckinmy ear.

  "Findthem.Talktohim,tellhim..."

  "Teresa,howdoyouwantmetofindhim?"

  "He'llcometoyou."

  "How?"

  "Yes,he’llcome.Hewillcome.AndyouhavetotellhimhowmuchIlovehimandhow sorryIwastoleavewhenhewassosmall...mychild..."HereyeswerethesaddestI’dever seen."

  Andasalways,leavingmewiththewordinmymouth,disappeared.AndIpushedthecell phoneawayfrommyear.LittlebirdssangonthebranchofatreeinagloomygardeninwhichI looked.Init,awomanofaboutninetyyearsold,stronganddressedinoldanddirtyclothes, wasplowing.Shelookedupatme.

  "Nothinglikeworkinginthegardentofeelalive."Butshewasn’talive.

  Shewasastrongandhappyspirit,whohadprobablyignoredthelighttowatchoverher garden.Itwasverylikelythatshewouldseelettuce,tomatoes...everythingshehadwhenshe wasalive.Butthetruthisthattherewereonlyweeds,shewasn’tverycareless.Ismiled,but notwiththejoy.Iwasbeginningtonotbeafraidtoseespirits,sinceIhadbeenoneofthem wandering the world. But I was sad to think of those who stay here, living ... without the companyoftheirlovedonesandwithoutknowingthatsome,arestillclose.Veryclose.Ona plane they cannot see. There would be more like me ... souls who return from beyond in anotherbodywithalifemadethattheymustreplaceandcontinue,andwithwhichtheycansee the other side and help those who need some peace or resolve outstanding issues. So, she wouldwaitforlittleErnesto,whowouldnolongerbesosmall,andtrytoclosetheobsessive chapterofTeresa'spoorlife.

  I went back to the table with Alejandro and Felisa. I did not notice my new voice and its totally Spanish accent, until I asked about the party they were still talking about. Alejandro wouldcomeattheendofAugusttospendafewdaysandbeatthevillagefestivals.

  "Somethingissomething,atleastwe'llhaveyouhereagain,"Isaid,gladtoknowthaton Wednesdaywewouldnotsay"Goodbye",ifnota"Seeyousoon".

  "Well,youhaveavacationthefirstfifteendaysofAugust,donotyou?"Asusual.Youcan cometoseemeinAveiro-moregoodnews.Holidays!WherewasAveiroonthemap?Iwas stillthinking.

  FelisaleftandAlejandroandIstayedatbarforadinnersalad.Toomuchdressingformy taste but ... finally healthy food! We talked about Ramona, how bad the -no-more-wedding confrontation went, and the scene of a hysterical woman, who had ridden Alejandro in the street.

  Wereturnedhomeandwiththepassionoftwoloverswhoknowthatsoontheywillbefar fromeachother,wewentbacktobed.AndIbecamethemostwantedandlovedwomanonthe planet,untilthealarmclockthenextdaybroughtmebacktotherealworld.IkissedAlejandro, whowasplacidlyasleepandleftthehouseatseven-thirty.Ibeganmylongworkingday...I alwayshatedMondays...andIremainedloyaltothatfeelinginmynewlife.

  Chapter6

  SERENDEPITY

  TheLuckyandunexpectedfindthatoccurs

  whenyouarelookingforsomethingelse

  My hands were still faithful to their daily routine with the super-register machine. The day seemedeternalbutinmyfreetimeIusedtogoout,paymydebts,leavemynewbankaccount shaking, have a quick coffee with Felisa and wait for the hours to finally see Alejandro. At nineo'clockatnightIsaidgoodbyetomycompanionsandrantoAlejandro.Iwaswaitingon thesidewalkinfrontofthesuper.Ihuggedhim.

  "I,vemissedyou.

  "You'resoromantic,"shelaughed.

  "Well,Idonotevenwanttothinkaboutwhenyouleave..."

  "Let'snottalkaboutit.Areyouhungry?Inodded.

  "Come,then,todinner.Pizza?Iwasdyingforpizza.

  "Yes!" - Fuck the diet. Not being a top model also had its advantages. My economic sustenancenolongerdependedonmyphysique.

  After eating some delicious pizzas, we returned to the village. We sat on the terrace and talkeduntilthreeo'clockinthemorning.Luckily,noghostbotheredus;Theypreferredtocome andvisitmewhenIwasalone.Wetalkedaboutmanythings.Hethoughtheknewmeandwas surprisedtohearanswersthatsurelythepreviousMarthawouldneverhavegiven.AndIfell inlovemore,asIwasdiscoveringthingsofhim,thingsthatinprinciple,shouldknow.

  "We've never talked like this ... so relaxed, no fighting," he said with satisfaction. I lit a cigarette.Donotsmokesomuch.

  "Ihaven’tsmokedtoday!Thesupermarketkeptmebusyallday..."

  "Butyou'reusedtoit."

  "Yes, of course ... I would like to get used to other things-for example-to have makeup artists,hairdressersandstylistsatmydisposal.Winhundredsofmillionsbyworkingtwodays amonthandattendingtwentypartieswherebeingthecenterofattentionwasthemostfunofthe act...Ouch!IfthatwaswhatIwasalreadyaccustomedto...(MentalmessagetoSt.Peter).

  "Whatareyouthinkingabout?"

  "Youwouldn’twannaknow,"Isaid,butinsteadofthosehundredsofmillionsofdollars, professionals at my disposal and parties ... I preferred HIM. "Well, this is our penultimate night..."

  "Youhadtobringthesubjectup..."

  "Comeon,inamonthyou'llbehereagain."

  "ButinafewdaysI’llbeinAveiro."

  "Idon’tevenknowwhereitis..."

  Alejandropulledamapoutofhisjeanspocket.Whatnormalpersoncarriesamapinhis pocket? He was born in Portugal. He put his arm around me and pointed to the exact spot whereAveirowasonthemap.There,inacornerandnexttothesea.IwouldneedasafeGPS, butknowingatlastwhereAveirowasmademehappy.

  Tuesday.Alejandro’slastdayinthetown,andsomethingenormouslydepressedme.Ourlast night. Only five days h
ad passed since I landed in this new life and in such a short frame of time, I had lived each strange second intensely. Who can say that in only five days she has fallenmadlyinloveandhasseenafewspirits?Who?

  Myworkdaywasnormal,andinmysparetime,ItooktheopportunitytotalktoLoli,the owner of one of the four hair salons in town. Felisa had already told her about me and my surprisingandsuddentransformationintoamakeupartist.Thehairsalonwastinyandneeded be modernized, as its brown tones did not favor an environment where you would want to relax and make you happy with a change of look. Loli was a short, energetic and agreeable woman,thoughIcouldnothelpfeelingnervouseverytimeastrandofhercurlyblondishred hairmoved.IwouldworkforherasamakeupartistonSaturdayafternoonsonceIfinishedmy dayatthesupermarket.Fillupeverywakinghourworking...inmydaysoftopmodelifanyone hadtoldmethis...butanyway,Ifiguredthedayswouldgobyfasterandthetimewaitingto seeAlejandroagainwouldn’tbecomeeternal.BeforeIleft,Iglancedattheblackchairswhere threespiritsweresitting.Theylookedathowoneclientreceivedaperm,shewasoneoftheir octogenarianfriendsinlife.Andthethreeofthemshooktheirheads,frowning,possiblyforthe lilactinttheirfriendhadchosenforthathotTuesday.

  MylastnightwithAlejandrocame.Mynewheartwasbreakingattimes,knowingthatinafew daysweitwillbethelasttimeweseeeachother...whoknowsforhowlong.Hedidnotfeel liketalking, though Icould see clearlythat he was excitedabout the newcourse that his life wastaking.

  Inbed,havingsweetlymadelove,IstaredathimandtoldhimwhatIthoughtIhadtodo.

  Althoughithurtandatthattimeitdidn’tfeelright.

  "If you find someone you love, live the moment." he shook his head, laughing. "I mean it veryseriously.LifeisshortAlejandro...tomorrowsomeonecandropatoasteronyourhead andyou’llendupinanotherneighborhood.Livethemomentandifinadditiontohavingagreat jobyoumeetsomeoneyoucanbehappywith,goahead.I’llbehappyifyou’re."

  "Andwhere’sthiscomingfrom?Don’tyourememberwhathappenedwithRamona?"

  "Comenow!Youdon’tevenloveRamona.Italkingaboutreallove."

  "SoyouthinkyouandIaren’tmeanttobetogether."

  "Is not that. I don’t want you to live your days worried or thinking about my absence. I don’tbelieveinlongdistancerelationships.Inafewdays,we'llbetogetherofcourse...ifI cangettoAveiro...butthen?Haveyouthoughtaboutwinter?

  Iwasn’tafanoflongdistancerelationshipsandIhadmyreasons.Attheageoffourteenin Laura's spectacular body, I had a summer boyfriend in a seaside town in Maine, where my grandmotherhadalovelyhouseoverlookingthesea.Idon’tevenrememberhisnameanymore, butwemadeallkindsofpromises.HewasfromTampaandIfromChicagoandalthoughwe sentromanticandchildishlettersforawhile,wegotboredandlostcontact.Thenextsummer, hewaswithanothergirlandwedidn’teventalk.Webecametwostrangers.Iwouldavoidthat happeningwithAlejandroatallcost...thebeautyofsummerends,andthehardwinterarrives

  ...andawisepersononcetoldme.Youcanspendyourlifedancingaroundimportantissues.I liked to dance, but sometimes you have to stop moving to the music that marks your life to focus on what really matters, the unavoidable responsibilities of adult life. And for that, you havetobesteadyandfocused.

  "If you were in love with me, if you truly loved me, you wouldn’t say these things." He lookedoffended,evenangry.Hesatontheedgeofthebedwithhishandsonhisforehead.I huggedhimfrombehindandkissedthebackofhisneck.

  "I'veneverlovedanyonelikeIloveyou."Again,itwasmymouthwasonauto-pilotwhile mybrainwenttosleep,somethingIshouldgetusedtofortherestofmynewdays."AndIwill never,ever,fallinlovewithanyoneasIamofyou."

  Alejandroturnedaround.Again,Imeltedunderhisfirmandlovinglook...andwemelted into a long kiss. The next day, it was he who kissed my forehead and left. Without making noise, not wanting to wake me up. I cried until the alarm went off. I stopped dancing in my dreams,tofocusonanewhardday.

  At twelve noon, I received a WhatsApp message from Alejandro, who with smiling emojis, informedmethathehadarrivedinAveiroandwouldhavethedayfullofmeetings.Hedidn’t writetomeagainallday.ClaraofferedtogooutfordinnerbutIsaidno,Iwantedtobealone.

  NordidIwanttogohome,thesmellofAlejandro'smasculinecolognecontinuedtopermeate everycorner.LeavingthesupermarketandlookingacrossthestreetexpectingtoseeAlejandro wasthemostdifficulttimeoftheday.Hewasnolongerthere,waitingformewitharadiant smilelikethelasttwodays.IwenttohaveaCokeatabarnearthesupermarket,filledwith youngpeopleontheterrace.SomeofthemgreetedmewithasmileandIsmiledinreturn,not knowing who they were and with a bit of shame at seeing me so badly dressed in the supermarketuniform.Thewaiteralsoseemedtoknowme.

  "Marta,whereyou’vebeen!Howareyou?"

  "Fine,thanks.Andyou?"

  "Herewiththesameworkasalways.Whatwouldyoulike?"

  "AdietCoke,please,"Isaidatthesametime,amaninhisfifties,baldandwell-dressed satbesideme,Ihadn’tnoticeduntilthen.Helookedatmeandsmiled.Again,therewasafear thatMartamighthavebeeninvolvedwiththisman.No,no,no...Isaidtomyself.

  The waiter served us both a diet Coke. The man was still looking at me and smiling. I wasn’tsurewhattodountilIsawaTeresa,aspirit,atthedoorofthebar.

  "Marta,"Igreeted,offeringthemanmyhand.

  "Ernesto,"herepliedshakingmyhand.

  "It'sgoingtosoundstrangetoyou,miss,butI'vedreamedaboutyou."ForhimtotellIhad beeninhisdreamswithouthavingseenmebeforecaughtmebysurprise."

  "Please,let'sgooutsideandtalk."Myconfidencewasamazing.Teresahadbeenwaiting andfollowedustothetablewhereErnestoandIsat;Theonefarthestfromtherestandtheonly oneunoccupied."WheredoIbegin?"Ismiled."Whatdidyoudreamexactly?"

  He was a very stylish and pleasant gentleman. And his eyes were dark and large like Teresa's."It'sgoingtoseemverysurreal...

  "Surreal?Mylifeisalreadyverysurrealsince...excuseme,goon."

  "Idreamedthatyouweresittingatthistable,andyoutalkedtomeaboutsomething,Idon’t remember what. I only remember your face, as detailed as I see it now. Something very precarious,"headdedthoughtfully,afrownappearedonhisbroadforehead.

  "Doyouspendthesummerhere,Ernesto?"Iwasinterestednow.

  "No, it's my first time here. I am from Bilbao and recently my mother died after a long illness.Beforeshedied,shementionedthistowntomeandmademepromisetocome."

  "And ... Do you know if she was your biological mother?" I asked, watching Teresa's enragedface,whowasprobablythinkingshewasthewomanwhokidnappedhersonandtook himaway.

  "No,theyadoptedmeasachild,"hesaidinsurprise."Whoyouare?"

  "Someoneverysurreal,"Ireplied,smiling.IsippedmyCoke.Ididn’tevenknowwhereto start...

  "Please,atthispoint...I’llbelieveanything."

  "Youwerebornhere,Ernesto.Specifically,inasmalltowncalledElPino,tenkilometers fromhere.Youmustknowthatyourbiologicalparentslovedyouverymuch.Yourrealmother, her name was Teresa." I looked at her again. He looked at me expectantly. "She died of pneumonia when you were very small. Fifty years ago, your father left you at home for a moment to go to the garden and when he came back, you were gone. Apparently, they kidnappedyou.Andtha
t'sallIknow."

  "But it can’t be ... Kidnapped? How come I don’t remember anything? I was five, somethingIshouldremember."Ishrugged.

  "Childrensometimesforgeteasily,don’tthey?"henoddedsadly.

  "IwanttoknowwhyIsawyourfaceinmydreams."

  "Ernest,Iseespirits.AndI'veseenthespiritofyourmotherTeresa."Ernestwentpaleas thewall.Butheseemedtobelieveinmysurrealandstrangeworldandhadfaithinme."You don’trememberher,doyou?She'shere,withus.AndmademepromisethatwhenIsawyou,I would tell you how much she loved you and how sorry she was for leaving you while you were still so small." Ernest was excited and in my case, tears threatened to appear at any moment.

  "Askhimiftheyweregoodtohim,"Teresasaid.

  "Teresawantstoknowiftheyweregoodtoyou.Ifyouhadagoodchildhood."

  "Yes,thebest."Teresawassatisfiedwiththatanswer.

  AndIfeltverysorryforTeresa,hisrealmother.NottoforgettheanguishErnesto’sfather wentthroughwhenhedisappeared.

  "Teresa thought you would be kidnapped on Sunday. On July 22nd. The same day they kidnappedyoufiftyyearsago.Apparently,she'sbeenwanderinglikealoopingspiritallthis time,asiftheyearshadn’tpassed."Ernestnodded.

  "Tellhershecanrestnow."Teresalookedathimwithinfinitelove."AndthatsomedayI'll seeher."

  I looked at Teresa. Her face was no longer pale and her black hair was no longer frightening.Itradiatedlightaftersomanyyearsinthedark.Shesmiledandwhispered"Thank you."Andinaflashoflight,itwasgoneforever.

  "Sheknowsnow...she'sgone.Thankyou,Ernesto,Iwashappytohelp.