How to Be a Movie Star

by TJ Klune

  “You’re so hot, I better date you before you’re cool!” Quincy shouted. “My feelings for you are one hundred percent organic and locally sourced! Are you gluten-free tonight, because I’d like to take you on a date! I’d still care about you even if you went mainstream! Roses are red, your shirt is ironic, your drink of choice is probably a mason jar filled with a vodka tonic!”

  Josy was almost to the stage even before he knew he was moving. He could hear Quincy asking if he was a pair of Warby Parkers, because he’d like to see Josy up close, but he was already on the stairs.

  Quincy was facing him, and he looked terrified. Josy couldn’t have that.

  He said, “Yes. Yes to all of it. Yes, of course yes, I want to be the ace in your deck and your Warby Parkers and I am so gluten-free tonight for you. And every night after.”

  And then he wrapped Quincy in a hug.

  The audience cheered.

  Quincy sagged against him, taking a shuddering breath, his nose pressed against Josy’s beard. They’d hugged before, of course. And since Josy was Josy, he’d kept track of such things. Since the day he’d met Quincy Moore, they’d hugged eighteen times. And this, the nineteenth, was the best one of all. They fit together, and as he brought his hand up to the back of Quincy’s head, fingers in his hair, he didn’t think he’d ever want to fit this way with anyone else ever again.

  Quincy sighed and tilted his head back, eyes darting down to Josy’s lips. He leaned in and—

  “No,” Josy said, pulling his head back.

  Quincy’s eyes widened. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—I thought you would want—”

  “I do, man,” Josy said firmly. “More than anything. But you’re high, and I don’t want to do that. When you sober up, if you still want to kiss me, then I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

  “I will,” Quincy said. “Even if I’m pretty sure I’m going to regret everything that just happened, I will.”

  Josy grinned. “It was pretty gnarly. You’re such a nerd.”

  Quincy groaned and laid his forehead on Josy’s shoulder.

  And as the people of Abby (along with an assortment of brightly costumed weirdos already planning on making this an annual trip because this was so amazing) cheered, Josy couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be.

  Chapter 18

  “DO YOU think sea lions have feelings?” Quincy asked him as they made their way up the stairs at Baked-Inn & Eggs. “I think about that a lot. I mean, they have to, right?”

  “Probably,” Josy grunted, pushing Quincy up another step. It was slow going, as Quincy had decided twice so far that lying down right where he was seemed to be the best idea. “They have whiskers. I think everything with whiskers has feelings.”

  “Oh. That makes sense. You’re so smart. I know you don’t always think you are, but you can trust me on that. I’m a writer. I know things.”

  “Thanks, man. That’s awesome of you to say.”

  “Giraffes don’t have whiskers. They must be soulless demons. Do you think giraffes are dinosaurs? Long necks, right?”

  “I have no idea, but that makes sense.”

  Quincy laughed. “It does, doesn’t it? Marijuana is awesome. I want to be high all the time. Like, I want to be high when I write. Can you imagine what my books would be like? Just… so good.”

  “They’re already good.”

  Quincy looked over his shoulder with wide eyes. “You’ve read my books?”

  “Yeah. Some of them.”

  “When you were stalking me?”

  Josy sighed. “It wasn’t stalking. It was intense interest.”

  “Oh. That sounds like the same thing.”

  “Maybe one is less creepy.”

  Quincy shrugged, almost sending them both tumbling down the stairs. “I don’t think you’re creepy. I think you’re tubular. Or whatever hipsters say.”

  “I don’t think anyone says tubular.”

  “Ninja Turtles do. And don’t think I’ve forgotten that no one has ever answered me about the state of their genitalia.”

  “I don’t think anyone can forget that.”

  They finally made it to the top of the stairs. Josy was breathing heavily. Quincy wasn’t as light as he looked, especially when his entire body seemed to have turned to jelly. Josy took his hand and pulled him toward their bedroom.

  The blanket fort was still set up in the middle of the room. Josy switched on the light, and the lamp underneath the comforter lit up with a low glow. Josy let Quincy go and went to the fort, then leaned in to make sure the pillows and blankets hadn’t been removed. He heard Quincy toeing off his shoes behind him.

  “Oh man,” Quincy groaned. “I shouldn’t have eaten all that quiche. Why did no one try and stop me? I don’t want to be wearing clothes right now.”

  Josy turned around in time to see Quincy drop his slacks to the floor, attempt to kick them off, and almost fall flat on his face. His legs were pale and skinny, covered in light, curly hair. Josy’s mouth went dry as Quincy fussed with his tie, managing to loosen the knot enough to slip it over his head and throw it to the floor. He fought with his dress shirt, getting a few buttons undone before trying to lift it off. His right arm got stuck above his head, and his left was somehow wrapped behind his back.

  “Dammit,” Quincy said, voice muffled. “This isn’t going as well as I’d hoped.”

  “Seems like it’s going all right to me,” Josy said quietly. He stood up and went to Quincy to help him from the confines of his shirt. He chuckled under his breath as they eventually got the shirt off. Quincy blinked at him, glasses askew.

  His skin was lovely. Freckles dotted his shoulders, and hair sparsely covered his chest and stomach. There was desire there, and maybe it was stronger than Josy had felt for anyone in his entire life, but it wasn’t important. At least not right now. It could simmer for however long it needed to.

  It seemed to dawn on Quincy slowly that he was wearing nothing but green boxers. He flushed brightly, the warmth spreading from his cheeks down his neck to the top of his chest. He fiddled with his glasses, swallowing thickly. “So.”

  “So,” Josy said.

  “Here we are.”

  “Yeah.”

  He glanced at Josy before looking away. “No kissing, right?”

  “No kissing,” Josy agreed. “Not yet, at least.”

  Quincy nodded. “That’s okay.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  Josy grinned. “That’s good. Do you want to put on pajamas?”

  “No. I’m weirdly anticlothes right now. I don’t know why. It must be the pot.”

  “Must be.” Josy jerked his head toward the fort. “Why don’t you climb inside, man. Get comfy.”

  “You’re coming too?”

  “Right behind you.”

  He absolutely did not stare at Quincy’s butt as he bent over and went inside the blanket fort.

  He picked up Quincy’s clothes off the floor and laid them on the bed that hadn’t been used in days. His skin felt like it was thrumming. He felt stoned, though he hadn’t so much as touched a single joint the entire day. He was undressing when Quincy spoke from behind the comforter.

  “That all just happened, right? It wasn’t something I made up in my head?”

  “It all happened,” Josy said, hanging his tweed jacket on the bedpost.

  “In front of everyone.”

  “Yep.”

  “Oh.” Then, “That’s cool.”

  “I think so too.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah, man.”

  “Cool.”

  Josy snorted. He thought about pulling on a pair of sweats but decided against it. If Quincy could be in his underwear, then Josy could too. He stood above the blanket fort. “I’m coming in now.”

  “Hurray.”

  Hurray, indeed. Josy pulled back the comforter and sank to his knees. Quincy was already wrapped up in blankets, head lying on his pillow. His
eyes widened slightly as he saw Josy’s state of undress, and he coughed roughly.

  “All right?”

  “Mostly!” Quincy squeaked. “Just… ah. I see your nipples, is all.”

  Josy frowned as he looked down at his chest. “Is that okay?”

  Quincy nodded furiously. “They’re very good as far as nipples go.”

  “Thank you. That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about them.” Josy crawled inside until he collapsed next to Quincy. He sighed happily, all the strength draining from his body. He didn’t move as Quincy pulled the blanket out from underneath him and pulled it over the both of them. He felt warm. And safe.

  He turned over to face Quincy. Somehow they were sharing the same pillow, and their faces were inches apart. Quincy was blinking owlishly, eyes glazed.

  “Wow,” he said softly. “You’re so pretty.”

  Josy huffed out a laugh. “Ditto, dude.” He reached up and took Quincy’s glasses off, then folded them up and set them aside.

  “I have something to tell you,” Quincy said seriously.

  “Go for it.”

  “I like marijuana.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes. But I never want to do it again today.”

  “But tomorrow?”

  Quincy scrunched up his face. “Maybe not tomorrow either. Or next week. Maybe next month. For Christmas or something. To celebrate Jesus, or whatever.” He blanched. “But you can do it anytime you want. I’m not going to try and change you.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Because I like you just the way you are.”

  “I like you too,” Josy said, and it felt so damn good to finally be able to say it out loud. “Like, a lot.”

  “Ohhhh,” Quincy whispered. “Maybe even more than like?”

  Josy thought he would shake apart. “Maybe even more. But we’ll wait until tomorrow, huh? When you’re thinking clearly.”

  Quincy looked disappointed. “But—”

  “Are you going anywhere?”

  “Uh, no?”

  “Neither am I, man. I’ll be right here in the morning. And if you still want to talk about it, we can.”

  “I will,” Quincy said. “I’ll probably want to talk about it all the time.”

  “I can deal with that.”

  Quincy nodded. Then he reached out and pressed a finger to the tip of Josy’s nose and said, “Boop.” He erupted into giggles, turning his face into the pillow.

  Josy was certain of a few things in his life. He wanted to be an actor. He had an agent who cared about his future. He had friends he’d somehow managed to carve into a family. He liked weed and funky socks with animals on them. He was good at radio trivia (which for some reason didn’t translate so well to bar trivia). He had a bong named Vlad the Inhaler, and maybe his parents would never come around to seeing that while his life would never be what they wanted, it was still a life worth living.

  And Josiah Erickson was certain that what he felt for Quincy Moore went beyond simple affection. Regardless of what happened tomorrow or any day after, he would remember this moment when he felt so full of light he thought he’d burst.

  Quincy wiped his eyes, still chuckling quietly. “I am going to be so embarrassed tomorrow about all of this.”

  “You don’t have to be.”

  “Remember when I asked you out and you said no?”

  Josy winced. “Yeah. Man, I’m sorry about—”

  Quincy put a finger against Josy’s lips. “Shh. Shh, shh. Listen. Listen.”

  Josy listened.

  Quincy didn’t move his hand. “It was scary for me. I’d never really done anything like that before. Ever. I’m not—I’m not that type of person. You know why I did?”

  Josy shook his head.

  “You were cute. Like, really cute. A little ridiculous, because seriously, a Hypercolor T-shirt? Seriously?”

  Josy wasn’t offended in the slightest.

  Quincy pulled his hand away. “I liked your beard and your eyebrows, but it was the way you smiled at me after I smashed a cupcake on your forehead that really knocked me for a loop. You just seemed so happy that you were covered in frosting. It was weird.”

  “Can I tell you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “I was really disappointed I didn’t get to eat the cupcake.”

  Quincy laughed again. “Sorry. It’s just this whole thing. I don’t even remember how it started.”

  “It’s such a waste of cupcake. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

  “I’m really not.”

  “Heathen.”

  “You had frosting on your face and you were smiling at me,” Quincy said, voice barely above a whisper. “And I didn’t think I’d ever seen anyone smile at me that way before. You didn’t know me, but I thought maybe you could see me. Even beyond all the crap in my head.”

  “It’s not—”

  Quincy shook his head. “I know it’s dumb to think that way, but it’s how I felt. And even though you were smiling and I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest, I wasn’t going to do a thing about it. It was too big. It was too much. I didn’t think I was ready. I was standing in front of a crowd that terrified me, and you were there like… like sunshine.”

  “Then why did you?” Josy asked.

  Quincy rolled his eyes. “Because Dee knows me and she saw how affected I was by you. And she reminded me that all the chances we don’t take are the chances for something great we’ll miss.”

  “And then I shot you down. Dude, that sucks.”

  “A little. But it’s okay.”

  Josy needed this to be clear. “I wanted to be your friend. Like, you don’t even know how much. I’m not good with making friends, and I saw you for the first time on the stage and I just… I wanted to know you. You seemed like someone I needed.”

  “Strange, right? I thought the same thing about you.”

  “So strange,” Josy agreed.

  “I yelled at Dee when I went back to her. Did I ever tell you that?”

  Josy shook his head.

  “Well, I did. Or I started to yell at her, but then she told me to stop being such a dick and to be proud of myself for going out on a limb.”

  “She’s kind of scary.”

  “It’s the neck tattoos. She’s really sort of squishy.” He looked slightly panicked. “Don’t ever tell her I said that.”

  “Promise. I don’t want you to die.”

  Quincy relaxed. “And then you started stalking me and liking old photos on Instagram—”

  “It wasn’t stalking. That was my manager’s fault at Applebee’s. If he hadn’t come into the bathroom yelling at me, I wouldn’t have accidentally liked the picture.”

  Quincy squinted at him. “That was such a weird sentence.”

  “It’s true!”

  “So we have to thank your manager who scared you in the bathroom at Applebee’s for all of this?”

  “What? No! That’s just—oh my god.”

  “Right?”

  “Oh my god!”

  “And then Dee showed me your commercial where you had genital herpes—”

  “I don’t actually have genital herpes.”

  “—and you were wearing these really tiny basketball shorts, and I thought she was making fun of me.”

  “She probably was. She’s evil.”

  “You came to the audition. I didn’t know you were going to be there.”

  “I was going to ask you to be my friend again when I saw it was you.”

  “That’s all?”

  Josy sighed. “I also wanted to be in the movie.”

  “There it is.”

  “But I really did want to be your friend. Like, so much.”

  “And we became friends.”

  “Yeah. It’s pretty great, man.”

  “It only made me like you more.” Quincy closed his eyes. “And I told myself it would be enough. If that’s all you wanted, then I was going to be oka
y with it. It was hard. A lot harder than I thought. You’re very… handsy.”

  “I do touch things a lot.”

  “But then Roger and Dee said you would watch me when I wasn’t looking, and I thought… okay. I could deal with that.”

  “I was being very creepy,” Josy said. “My bad.”

  “And then I started thinking about what would happen when the movie was over. I wouldn’t get to see you every day. I wouldn’t get to see the way you stumble in the mornings when you’re not quite awake, or when you eat, like, six pancakes in one sitting.”

  “I do like pancakes. Just not with a lot of syrup, you know? Makes them soggy.”

  “I didn’t like it.”

  “Soggy pancakes? Oh, dude, I totally feel you on that—”

  “The thought of not seeing you when I felt like you were one of the few people in the world who could actually see me.”

  Anything Josy could say in response suddenly died on his tongue.

  Quincy tapped the side of his head. “It’s loud in here sometimes. I get in my own way. I’m stronger than I used to be, but that doesn’t mean I always win. Sometimes I lose, and it’s horrible. But it’s what I do after I lose that makes me different than how I used to be. I can pick myself up now. It might take me a while, and it hurts, but I can stand again. I don’t need to be propped up by anyone because I can do it myself.”

  “That’s real good, man,” Josy managed to say. “I’m so proud of you.”

  The smile he got was dazzling. “I’m proud of me too. It took me a long time to get where I am, but I think I’m okay with how I turned out.”

  “I like who you are. Every part. Even the not-so-good things. It shows you’re a fighter.”

  “You hugged me. And we started holding hands.”

  “I like being near you. I just didn’t know how much until it was pointed out to me. And then I saw you and how you directed your pelvis at me—”

  “Until I did what?”

  “—and I knew that I didn’t need to be worried, because everything was going to be okay. I was going to tell you today, but then you got stoned.”

  “What the hell does my pelvis have to do with anything?”

  Josy shrugged. “It showed you had feelings for me. That’s what the Internet said. And the eyebrow flash. You do that a lot at me.”