Playing by Heart

by Cleary James

  ‘Good surprise?’ Her delighted smile told him she already knew the answer.

  He walked across to her and bent to give her a soft kiss on the cheek. ‘It’s a wonderful surprise, but you didn’t have to come,’ he said, scanning her face worriedly. Much as he wanted her here with him, he hated the thought of her putting herself through stress and anxiety for his sake. He’d tried to brush off his disappointment when she’d refused the invitation, and he hoped she hadn’t felt pressured into coming to make him happy.

  ‘I wanted to come,’ she said. ‘I know how important tonight is, and I want to share it with you. I’m so proud of you.’

  ‘Thank you.’ He bent and kissed her again. ‘You look amazing.’

  ‘You two had better get going,’ Isabel interrupted. ‘The man of the moment shouldn’t be late for his own party.’

  ‘You’re right.’ He took Lisa’s hand and Isabel followed them out to the hall.

  ‘Well, good luck!’ she said as they stood in the doorway. ‘I hope you win.’

  ‘I feel I already have.’ He squeezed Lisa’s hand, smiling down at her. ‘Thank you,’ he said to Isabel.

  ‘For standing you up? You’re welcome,’ she said, exchanging a smug smile with Lisa.

  ‘Thanks for everything, Isabel,’ Lisa said softly.

  Isabel gave her a final hug and waved them off.

  In the back of the car he took Lisa’s hand, clasping it tightly. ‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ he said, looking at her dazedly, still not quite able to believe she was real. He half expected her to disappear in a puff of smoke. ‘Thank you for coming.’ He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.

  ‘You were right – it was silly of me to be afraid. London’s a big place.’

  He frowned. ‘It wasn’t silly. It’s understandable. I’m sorry if I pushed you.’

  She shook her head. ‘You didn’t. But I realised I can’t hide out in Cornwall forever,’ she said. ‘If I do that, I’m as much a prisoner of Mark as I ever was, and I’m done with letting him control me. I want to be part of your life, Grayson. And your life is here, in London.’

  He leaned in and kissed her, a soft, sweet kiss that quickly became hungry and heated. His tongue slid into her mouth as his hands began to rove restlessly over her body, stroking over her breasts and along the curve of her waist. His cock stiffened as he pulled her closer against him, his breathing becoming deep and ragged. He slid one hand beneath the bodice of her dress and felt her pulse quicken as he caressed her soft, warm flesh. His fingers moved to the zip of her dress as if of their own volition.

  The car jolted as it pulled up at a traffic light, snapping him back to reality and he pulled away reluctantly.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said with a rueful smile. ‘I don’t want to mess up your beautiful dress.’ In fact, he wanted nothing more, and it was all he could do not to push her back against the plush leather, peel off her dress and bury himself deep inside her right here on the back seat of the car in the middle of the traffic. He took her hand in his, clutching her fingers tightly as if to absorb the pain. ‘Not yet anyway,’ he said with a crooked grin, and Lisa smiled back at him, her eyes sparkling. ‘Will you stay with me tonight? Will you come to my house?’

  ‘Yes,’ Lisa nodded.

  ‘Thank you.’ He kissed her knuckles.

  ‘Oh,’ she gasped, ‘I left my case at Isabel’s.’

  ‘We can send for it in the morning,’ he shrugged. ‘I can give you a spare toothbrush for tonight. Anything else you need from it?’

  ‘No,’ she shook her head. They both knew she wouldn’t be needing any clothes until at least tomorrow.

  ‘When do you have to go back to Cornwall?’

  ‘I can stay the whole week if I want to. I only asked for the day, but Martha insisted.’

  ‘Have I ever told you how much I like Martha?’ he grinned.

  Lisa laughed. ‘I haven’t taken any leave since I started working for her, so she arranged a replacement and told me to take the whole week, whether I want to stay in London or not.’

  ‘And do you?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes,’ she said softly. ‘Very much.’

  Chapter Nineteen

  The awards ceremony was being held in a beautiful old building in the east of the city. Lisa felt a little fluttering of nerves as they were ushered down a long corridor, through a set of double doors and into a vast, high-ceilinged hall where the drinks reception was already in full swing. They were greeted by the celebratory hum of chatter and tinkling glass. Above their heads, ornate crystal chandeliers shone down onto a sea of diaphanous silk and taffeta, catching the light of sparkling jewels and sequinned dresses. It was a long time since she had been to such a glitzy event, and she found it a little intimidating. She was grateful that Grayson kept his arm around her as he led her into the crowd and got them drinks. He seemed to know almost everyone, and as they began to circulate, she was introduced to so many people, she couldn’t possibly remember all their names. Everyone seemed so glamorous and sophisticated, she felt a little out of her depth at first. But they were all so friendly, she started to relax as they made their way around the room, moving from circle to circle. Grayson was very popular, and it was obvious that he was held in high esteem by his colleagues and peers. She felt incredibly proud to be with him.

  At dinner they shared a table with three other couples. They were interesting and entertaining, and as the evening progressed, Lisa was surprised to realise she was having fun. She had wanted to be here for Grayson, but she hadn’t really expected to enjoy herself. In the past, she had only ever attended ritzy events like this when she was with Mark, and she had been too tense and anxious to take any pleasure in them. It had been a public performance and she had been entirely preoccupied with playing her role to perfection so as not to incur Mark’s displeasure, fearful that she would say or do something that would get her into trouble later. Tonight she could relax and be herself. She could enjoy the company and savour the delicious food and wine. She didn’t flinch when Grayson told people she was an artist, and she didn’t feel the need to change the subject when someone asked her about her painting.

  The award presentation got under way after dinner, and all eyes turned to the stage as a hush fell over the room. As the MC announced each of the finalists, a screen in the centre of the stage showed a short film about the building they were nominated for. Lisa’s heart swelled with pride as Grayson spoke passionately about the inspiration behind his project and how he had tried to create a sense of magic and possibility in the design. His aim was for the building to inspire and uplift the local community who used it, and judging by the smiles on the faces of the children, parents and teachers who were interviewed, he had succeeded. Lisa’s eyes welled up as little kids were shown enjoying the library, their faces lit up with joy as they talked about how much they loved being there.

  When it came to announcing the winner, there was an agonising hush as the host opened the envelope. Lisa held her breath with anticipation, her heart hammering in her chest. She hardly dared glance at Grayson as she silently willed his name to be called, repeating it over and over in her heard like a prayer.

  When the MC leaned into the microphone and said ‘Grayson Fielding’, she wondered for a moment if she’d imagined it. But then everyone around her was surging to their feet, and the whole room burst into riotous applause. The people at their table were shaking Grayson’s hand and slapping him on the shoulder, as the clapping went on and on.

  ‘Congratulations,’ Lisa turned to him, beaming.

  ‘Thank you.’ He grabbed her hand and leaned in to give her a kiss, lingering slightly before he pulled away and bounded up to the stage to collect his award.

  He made a wonderful speech, gracious to his fellow nominees, and acknowledging the contributions of his partners and co-workers. Lisa could feel how much goodwill there was in the room towards him and she couldn’t have been prouder or happier. She was so glad she hadn’t missed this.r />
  ‘Great result!’ Sarah, beside her, said as Grayson finished his speech to rapturous applause. ‘He really deserves it. You must be so proud of him.’

  ‘I sure am,’ Lisa said softly, wiping tears from her eyes as Grayson weaved his way slowly back to her, people stopping him every few steps along the way to shake his hand and offer their congratulations.

  He was in demand for the rest of the evening, and he was friendly and affable, taking time to speak to everyone who crowded around to congratulate him. Lisa was happy just to be by his side, sharing in his triumph. Later there were press photographs and an interview, and it was after midnight by the time they left and walked to the waiting car.

  She sank back against the seat with a sigh as the doors closed behind them, and she finally had Grayson to herself.

  ‘Congratulations,’ she said softly, kissing him on the mouth. ‘I’m so proud of you.’

  ‘Thanks. But you were the real prize tonight,’ he said, stroking her cheek. ‘Thank you for being there.’

  ‘I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,’ she said before he leaned forward to capture her mouth again.

  It felt strange to be in Grayson’s house again. It brought back a disturbing mix of memories and associations. The last time she’d been here it was in her capacity as his paid whore – not that he’d ever treated her like one.

  ‘Tired?’ he asked as he took her coat.

  She shook her head. ‘No,’ she said, surprised to find she wasn’t. It was almost one, and it had been a very long day, but she was still wired from the excitement of the evening. ‘Are you?’

  ‘No.’

  He led her into the kitchen. Her eyes were automatically drawn to the big wooden table in the centre, and a little shiver ran through her at the memory of the first time she had met Grayson and what he had done to her on that table. He followed her gaze, and something in his expression told her he was remembering it too.

  ‘Would you like a glass of wine?’ he asked, dispelling the strange atmosphere.

  ‘Yes, please.’

  He poured them both wine and they took it into the library. Grayson switched on the fire, then loosened his bow tie and undid the top buttons of his shirt, while Lisa sank into the sofa. Grayson looked at her hungrily over the rim of his glass as he took a sip of wine.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ he said huskily. ‘I’ve dreamed of having you here again for so long.’

  ‘I’ve dreamed of being here,’ she said softly.

  ‘Really?’ He raised his eyebrows sceptically. ‘It can’t have very happy associations for you.’

  ‘This room does,’ she said, looking around the beautiful library. ‘When I was here with you – it was the only time I was happy back then. For the first time in a very long time I felt safe and—’ she broke off, about to say ‘loved’. ‘Cared for,’ she finished.

  ‘I’m glad,’ Grayson said, sinking to his knees in front of her. ‘You were cared for, Lisa. You are cared for ... loved,’ he added hesitantly, looking up at her almost warily from under his lashes, as if this declaration might be unwelcome. ‘I love you, Lisa.’

  Her startled gasp was stifled as he leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips, sighing deeply as his eyes fluttered closed.

  ‘I love you too,’ she whispered as his lips travelled down her neck, and she felt his breath hot against her skin as he gasped softly.

  He lifted his head, his eyes burning into hers as he gazed at her.

  ‘I love you,’ she repeated, wrapping her arms around his neck. Then they were kissing again. His lips were soft and warm, his tongue insistent as it plunged into her mouth, tangling urgently with hers. He groaned deep in his throat as she buried her hands in his hair. His eyes were dark and heavy-lidded when he pulled back.

  ‘I’ve dreamt of taking this off you since I first saw you in it this evening,’ he said with a crooked smile, one finger trailing along the bodice of her strapless dress, skimming lightly across the tops of her breasts. Her heart beat wildly as he pulled her forward and tugged the zip down slowly, watching as the silky material fell to her waist, revealing her naked breasts to his hungry gaze.

  ‘You’re breathtaking,’ he breathed. Then he bent to take one rosy bud in his mouth, while his fingers teased and caressed the other one. Lisa held his head, watching him kiss and caress her. She found the sight of him suckling her breast wildly erotic, the gentle rasp of his tongue across her hardened nipple sending sparks of electricity through her veins. She moaned softly as he sucked harder, his fingers trailing up her legs beneath her dress. Heat built inside her and she tugged at his clothes frantically, desperate to feel his bare skin against hers. She managed to unbutton his shirt with shaking fingers and he pulled away briefly to wrench it off before returning his attention to her breasts. As he kissed her aching nipples, he slid one hand between her thighs, nudging them apart. He pushed her panties aside and her whole body thrummed as he stroked along her slick folds.

  ‘Mmm,’ he groaned thickly. ‘You’re so wet. I want to taste you.’

  Lisa trembled with need as he lifted her slightly to pull her dress off completely. Then he pulled her down onto the rug beside him, his eyes devouring her as he slowly slid her panties down her legs and tossed them aside. Lisa whimpered, her body on fire as he buried his face between her legs, kissing and licking her to a shuddering climax.

  Chapter Twenty

  Lisa drifted awake the next morning in a dreamy haze of happiness. She was roused slowly towards consciousness by the brush of Grayson’s lips against her skin, the whisper of his warm breath on her neck. They were spooned together in his bed, her back to his front. She gave a deep sigh of contentment as she opened her eyes. She felt completely cocooned in the warmth of his body – his arms wrapped around her, their legs entwined, the gentle rise and fall of his chest at her back. She smiled sleepily as she turned to face him.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ he said hoarsely. He dropped a kiss on her shoulder.

  ‘I’m so glad I came.’

  ‘Lots of times,’ he said with a crooked smile, pushing back her hair to kiss her earlobe.

  She laughed softly. They had made love endlessly last night, first in the library and then here in his bed, before finally falling into an exhausted, satisfied sleep. She felt a warm glow inside as the events of the previous night seeped into her consciousness – Grayson’s eyes lighting up when he first saw her at Isabel’s; how proud she had felt of him when he won the award; their lovemaking in the library. It had been a wonderful evening – and most wonderful of all, Grayson had told her he loved her. She replayed the scene in the library again and again in her mind – the heat in his eyes, the gentle passion of his touch, the sincerity in his voice as he’d said those three little words. It was the most magical moment of her life.

  And yet there was something niggling in the back of her brain that made her uneasy, something trying to nudge to the forefront of her mind that threatened to undermine her happiness. She racked her brain, but couldn’t pinpoint any reason for her sense of foreboding. Last night had been completely blissful, from the moment Grayson’s face lit up when he first saw her until they’d finally collapsed exhausted in each other’s arms. She couldn’t remember when she’d been so happy. She shook her head slightly as if to dislodge the ominous feeling.

  ‘I couldn’t believe it when I saw you at Isabel’s last night. When did the two of you concoct this plan to switch places?’ Grayson asked with an amused smile.

  Lisa’s heart plummeted as it hit her why she was feeling so off-kilter. She had swapped places with Isabel. If she hadn’t gone to the awards ceremony with Grayson last night, Isabel would have gone instead – and Isabel would probably be here in bed with him now.

  She tried to shake off the treacherous thought. Grayson had said he loved her last night. But what did that mean? She knew he’d had a sexual relationship with Isabel in the past. Did he still? If she asked him, she believed he wou
ld tell her the truth. She just wasn’t sure she’d want to hear it.

  ‘I hope Isabel didn’t mind me taking her place,’ she said tentatively.

  Grayson shook his head. ‘She’s not very fond of big formal functions like that. She was only coming with me to be supportive. I’m sure she was only too happy for you to replace her.’

  At the awards maybe, Lisa thought, feeling suddenly cold. But what about in Grayson’s bed? Then again, she probably wouldn’t care. Isabel had an open, free-spirited attitude to sex. She and Grayson had never had a monogamous relationship, and they weren’t possessive or jealous about each other. And after all, it was just one night. She could have Grayson to herself for the rest of the week. Lisa felt a chill come over her at the thought and she shuddered.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Grayson frowned in concern.

  ‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ she said, turning away from him and burying her head in the pillow. The closeness she’d felt with him moments earlier suddenly evaporated. She tried to push down the old feelings of insecurity that surfaced, telling herself she was being ridiculous. After all, Grayson had said he loved her. He had never been in love with Isabel. That changed things ... didn’t it?

  ‘Lisa?’ Grayson clasped her shoulder.

  ‘I’m tired, that’s all,’ she whispered, faking a yawn. But she wasn’t at all sleepy – she felt wired and edgy, her nerves jangling.

  Grayson’s breath was hot on her skin as he chuckled. ‘Well, I guess we didn’t get much sleep last night.’ She felt him sink down on the pillow behind her. He wrapped an arm around her and she took his hand. Grayson gave a deep, satisfied sigh, pulling her closer. Moments later, she could tell from the even, steady rhythm of his breathing that he had fallen asleep.