Playing by Heart

by Cleary James

It was most magical at night, when garlands of lights sparkled above the streets, brightly decorated pubs and restaurants glowed welcomingly in the darkness, and glamorous partygoers tumbled from black cabs and spilled out of bars like colourful birds, shivering in their finery.

  ‘This city,’ she sighed, looking out the window of the cab as she and Grayson made their way to Isabel’s gallery the following evening.

  ‘It’s something else, isn’t it?’

  He looked devastatingly handsome in a black dinner jacket and snowy white shirt, his copper-coloured hair artfully unruly.

  He took her hand. ‘You okay?’

  ‘Yeah, I’m fine.’ She gave him a shaky smile. She wished she could just throw herself into the festive cheer and enjoy having a glamorous party to go to with a beautiful man by her side. But Mark’s presence cast a shadow over it all.

  ‘We don’t have to stay long,’ Grayson said, giving her hand a squeeze. ‘Whenever you want to leave, just say the word.’

  The gallery was thronged, buzzing with the hum of voices and the tinkle of champagne glasses, but Lisa’s eyes were drawn to Mark as soon as they entered. She felt a frisson of nerves as he looked over and nodded hello. Rose gave her a sidelong glance, but quickly turned away and said something to Mark, drawing his attention back to her.

  Isabel had worked her usual magic, and the party was as dazzling and stylish as everything she put her hand do. As the evening went on, Lisa began to relax and have fun. The champagne helped loosen her up and she enjoyed mingling with the broad mix of people that Isabel had brought together from all corners of the art world. She felt a glow of pride that she had been invited in her own right as one of Isabel’s artists, and she wasn’t just tagging along as Grayson’s date. She was glad she hadn’t let Mark put her off coming.

  She found it easy to stay out of his way, and she quickly realised that she had Rose to thank for that. She seemed as determined as Lisa to keep them apart, and whenever their paths were about to cross, she would steer him off in the opposite direction or pull him away to meet someone else. It suited Lisa just fine.

  But Rose must have let her guard down, because as Lisa made her way back from the bathroom, down a long, snaking corridor at the back of the gallery, suddenly Mark was standing in front of her blocking her path.

  ‘Hello, Lisa.’

  ‘Mark.’ She nodded brusquely and tried to step past him, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her into an alcove, pressing her up against the wall.

  ‘You haven’t spoken to me all evening. I get the feeling you’ve been avoiding me,’ he said, his eyes glinting dangerously. ‘Did you get my letters?’

  ‘Yes, but I didn’t read them. I told you I don’t want them. We’re over, Mark. Let me go.’

  He shook his head. ‘We’ll never be over, Lisa. We belong to each other. You know that. You said you were mine – only mine. You promised.’

  ‘People change. I’m not yours anymore. I never was really. People don’t own each other.’

  ‘But we belong together. We were made for each other. I can’t live without you. And you’re not supposed to live without me. Surely you see that.’

  She swallowed hard. ‘I can’t listen to this anymore,’ she said, trying to keep her voice steady, while inside she was struggling not to panic. ‘I need to get back to the party. Grayson will be wondering where I am.’

  She tried to push past him, but he shoved her back against the wall.

  ‘Grayson,’ he snarled, his lips twisting in contempt. ‘Let him wonder. Anyway, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind letting me have a turn with you. He’s not selfish like that, is he? In fact, why don’t the two of you come for dinner with me and Rose some time? Then we could take our time.’ He reached out and cupped her face with one hand, his thumb stroking over her lips. ‘We’re all grown-ups, after all. This doesn’t have to be furtive.’

  Lisa’s eyes widened as she grabbed his hand and pushed it away, her heart beating wildly in her chest. ‘Grayson would never—’

  ‘Oh, come on, Lisa,’ Mark drawled with a sneer, ‘grow up. You know Grayson is good at sharing. He never minded bringing Isabel around for me to fuck, did he? Are you forgetting how you two love-birds met?’

  Lisa hated that he had that to taunt her with. But everything was different now. Grayson loved her. He didn’t want anyone else.

  Mark laughed, watching her face. ‘What do you think Grayson did here in London all the time you were shut away in Cornwall?’ he mocked. ‘You think he hasn’t had Rose?’

  ‘I know he hasn’t. But I don’t want to discuss this with you, Mark,’ she said stiffly. ‘My relationship with Grayson is none of your business.’

  ‘Still so uptight,’ he sighed. ‘I thought I’d cured you of that. Look, why don’t I invite you and Grayson over? And then we’ll see.’

  ‘We won’t come,’ she said tightly.

  ‘Oh, you’ll come,’ he said with a laugh. ‘I could always make you come, couldn’t I?’

  To her horror, his hand was on her leg now, sliding up under her skirt. She tried to push it away, barely able to breathe. She twisted her head, looking to the door at the end of the corridor, desperately hoping someone would come and interrupt them. But the corridor was deserted. Besides, if anyone did come, they would just look like two people who had slipped away from the party for a quick fumble in private.

  ‘You’re not going to tell me it’s the same with him, are you? Maybe you need a reminder of how it is between us.’ He leaned closer, his breath hot on her face, while his hand slid up her thigh.

  ‘Stop.’ She slapped his hand, but he was too strong for her. Her eyes darted to the door and she tried to wriggle away from him, but he grabbed her hands, pinning them over her head against the wall, while he pressed his body against hers. Lisa writhed helplessly, struggling not to panic. But he overpowered her easily and she was trapped, her hands immobile, his big body holding her in place.

  ‘Don’t tell me this doesn’t excite you,’ he said softly, his eyes dropping to her breasts. Her chest was heaving, her heart pounding as she struggled to break free. Dear God, what was he going to do?

  ‘What—what about Rose?’ she choked, her throat so dry it was difficult to get the words out.

  ‘I don’t give a fuck about Rose,’ he said. ‘Is that what this is about? Is that why you haven’t answered my letters? Are you trying to punish me for being with someone else?’

  ‘Of course not. I don’t care—’

  ‘Because I know how you feel. It’s torture seeing you with him. But don’t worry about Rose. She’s just a diversion, nothing more.’ He transferred her hands to one of his, the other cupping her cheek, his thumb trailing over her lips. ‘She’s good for a fuck, but she’s not you, Lisa. You know I’ve never loved anyone but you.’

  She was aghast, realising she was supposed to be flattered. He actually thought talking about Rose like that would win her over.

  ‘I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you,’ he continued, his eyes burning into hers. His intensity scared her. ‘And you want me too,’ he said, running one finger slowly down over the curve of her breast.

  ‘No. I don’t.’

  His finger stroked her nipple through the thin fabric of her dress, pinching and massaging until it was hard and taut. He smiled in satisfaction as his eyes dropped to her breasts. ‘You say one thing,’ he said softly, raising his eyes to hers, ‘but your body says another.’

  Lisa cursed her involuntary response to the stimulation of his fingers. She writhed desperately beneath him, struggling to get away as his hand moved slowly down her body.

  ‘Please, stop.’ Her heart hammered in her ears, but she fought to stem the trembling of her body. She must try to appear calm and in control. ‘Stop,’ she whimpered. ‘I don’t want this.’

  But he just pressed closer, pinning her to the wall. His physical size was overwhelming, his big body solid and immovable. His mouth crashed down on hers, their teeth clashing as he force
d her mouth open, his tongue plunging inside as he ground his hips into hers. She could feel how turned on he was by this. Her heart pounded and she gasped for air as he held her trapped against the wall, powerless to escape the relentless onslaught of his tongue. She whimpered helplessly, writhing against him, but he only took it as encouragement.

  ‘Feels good, doesn’t it?’ he murmured throatily, lifting his head a fraction. His eyes glittered dangerously as his free hand trailed down her body, lingering on the fullness of her breasts. He looked down at her hardened nipple poking through the thin material of her dress and smiled.

  ‘You like that, don’t you, baby?’ he said, massaging her breast. Then he bent his head and sucked the hardened peak, nipping it with his teeth until she squealed.

  ‘Good girl,’ he said, lifting his head and stroking his hand over her breast in a soothing gesture. ‘Are you wet for me?’ he said. She squirmed desperately, struggling to get away as his hand moved slowly down her body. He grabbed the hem of her dress and lifted it, hiking it up her thighs.

  ‘Stop, Mark!’ she choked, bile rising in her throat as his hand slid up her leg to the edge of her underwear. ‘Let me go.’

  He shook his head slowly. ‘Not without taking back what’s mine.’

  Oh God, he was going to rape her, right here. Tears stung her eyes as she struggled ineffectually against him. Why didn’t someone come?

  ‘This is mine,’ he said, his hand cupping her between her legs. She thought she might pass out with fright as he tugged her panties aside and slid one finger inside her.

  ‘No!’ she shouted, finally finding her voice, despite her terror. She opened her mouth to scream, but his mouth clamped down on hers in a bruising kiss. She twisted her head trying to escape his grinding lips, her heart beating wildly as she felt his erection pressed against her. She tried to raise a leg to kick him, flailing around for any means of escape, but he was too strong for her, his body as big and solid as a wall.

  ‘Mark, no—’ she gasped when he lifted his head.

  ‘You want this as much as I do, Lisa,’ he said. His eyes were predatory, glittering with lust, and she thought she might throw up as he pumped his finger inside her.

  Suddenly there was a crash at the far end of the corridor, the hum of the distant party drifting momentarily through an open door. Thank God!

  Mark turned in the direction of the noise and withdrew his finger, breathing heavily.

  ‘We should get back to the party,’ Lisa said shakily, trying to regain control.

  To her relief, Mark released his grip on her hands.

  ‘You’re probably right,’ he said regretfully. To Lisa’s horror, he helped her adjust her clothing, and she shivered because it made her feel complicit, as if they had been in this together, sharing a clandestine kiss and grope behind their partners’ backs. She just wanted him to stop touching her. She couldn’t bear to have his hands on her a moment longer.

  He was tugging down her skirt, his hands lingering unnecessarily on her legs, when suddenly she heard the rapid click of heels along the corridor, followed by a loud gasp. She twisted her head towards the sound and froze. Rose was standing there, watching them, her mouth open in a strangled scream.

  Chapter Thirty

  Mark stilled as he turned and saw Rose, but he didn’t seem perturbed about being caught. He pulled away from Lisa slowly, giving her a lazy smile as she finished tugging her dress down. Her hands shook as she quickly smoothed her hair. Rose was glaring at her, her eyes hard.

  Lisa didn’t waste another second now that she was free. Without a backward glance, she raced down the corridor past Rose and pushed through the door to the main gallery, dimly aware of Mark’s slower footsteps behind her.

  Once she was back in the crowded gallery, she took a moment to collect herself. She breathed hard, struggling not to collapse to the floor in a sobbing heap. She quickly glanced around the room to locate Grayson. He was in a group of people by the far wall, and he hadn’t seen her yet. She had to compose herself before he did. She didn’t want to tell him what had happened with Mark. It would only make him worry.

  She took a glass of wine from a passing waiter and took several deep gulps, her breathing slowly returning to normal as she calmed herself. She could feel her face crumple, and it was an effort not to break down and cry. She forced herself not to turn around as she heard Mark came back into the room behind her. Instead she fixed a smile onto her face and started to weave through the throng towards Grayson.

  He slid an arm around her waist as she joined him. She tried to appear calm and unruffled, as if nothing had happened. But she knew her smile was faltering, and she couldn’t concentrate on what was being said. She was afraid to speak because she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop her voice from shaking. She just listened and smiled, sipping her wine to steady her nerves, and taking comfort from the warmth of Grayson’s body next to hers.

  Out of the corner of her eye she saw Rose crash through the door behind Mark, and she was alarmed to see she was making a beeline straight for her, racing across the crowded floor like she was on a mission. Lisa tried to ignore her, joining in the laughter as someone finished speaking, even though she had no idea what the joke had been.

  But Rose broke through the circle around her and marched straight up to her. Before Lisa realised her intent, she drew back her arm and slapped her so hard across the face, her head snapped to the side painfully. There was a second’s hush followed by a chorus of startled gasps and exclamations. Lisa’s glass slipped from her fingers and crashed to the ground, smashing into pieces, wine splashing over her dress as it fell. She gasped for breath as her hand flew to her cheek, tears smarting her eyes. She was dimly aware of Grayson’s arm tightening around her briefly before he pushed her behind him.

  ‘What the hell?’ He glowered at Rose, shielding Lisa from her with his body.

  Rose was seething, rigid with fury, her eyes flashing as she faced Grayson.

  ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’ he shouted, fuming.

  ‘Why don’t you ask your girlfriend?’ Rose sneered, baring her teeth as she glared at Lisa, her eyes sparking fury.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Grayson turned to Lisa, frowning in concern.

  She nodded, holding a hand to her cheek, her eyes still smarting from the blow.

  ‘You little slut!’ Rose yelled at her. There were horrified gasps all around. ‘Why don’t you ask her what she was doing in the corridor with Mark just now?’ she said to Grayson. ‘They were all over each other. You think I don’t know you still have the hots for him?’ she said to Lisa. ‘You act the innocent – pure, sweet little Lisa, pretending you want to be my friend,’ she mocked. ‘Butter wouldn’t melt. Well, you may have fooled him,’ she jerked her head at Grayson. ‘But you don’t fool me.’

  Grayson turned to Lisa, his hand closing almost painfully around her wrist. ‘Is this true?’ he asked her, his eyes blazing, his mouth tight. ‘Did he touch you?’ He was fuming, and Lisa cringed.

  Before she could answer, Mark came storming across the floor to them.

  ‘That’s enough, Rose,’ he snapped at her, grabbing her wrist tightly and pulling her back.

  ‘Did you touch her?’ Grayson asked Mark, his voice tight. ‘Did you put your hands on her?’ He was so consumed with rage, he was almost shaking.

  Mark gave a little laugh, his lip curling contemptuously. ‘I didn’t put my hands anywhere she didn’t want them. Did I, Lisa?’ His eyes glittered cruelly.

  Lisa was speechless. All she could do was shake her head mutely in protest.

  ‘You know what she’s like,’ he said mockingly to Grayson. ‘Always so desperate for it.’

  Grayson made a lunge for Mark, but Lisa pulled him back. ‘Please,’ she whispered. ‘Can we just go?’

  He turned to her, his eyes blank, hardly seeing her he was so incensed.

  ‘Please?’ She was desperate to get away, not sure how much longer she could hold it together. ‘I
want to leave now,’ she said, reminding him of his promise that they would go any time she wanted.

  He blinked several times, then let out a heavy breath. He nodded.

  ‘Just keep your hands off my boyfriend in future,’ Rose spat as Grayson slid an arm around Lisa’s waist and they turned to go.

  ‘You shut the fuck up,’ Lisa heard Mark hiss as they walked away, and despite everything, she felt sorry for Rose.

  Grayson found her shrug and helped her into it, then put an arm around her, pulling her close into his side, and led her to the door. Lisa found the solid warmth of his body immensely comforting. She could tell he was still seething, his jaw clenched, his movements sharp and jerky.

  ‘You don’t usually get fisticuffs thrown in at these shindigs,’ she heard an amused voice drawl as they made their way to the exit. ‘Hats off to Isabel. Never a dull moment at one of her parties.’

  She was glad that Isabel was nowhere to be seen as they made their way out, wanting as little fuss as possible.

  It was only when they were sitting side by side in the back of the car that Lisa realised she was shaking. She was still in shock, she supposed, first from Mark’s attack and then Rose’s. Her teeth were chattering, and she couldn’t stop trembling.

  ‘Come here,’ Grayson said, pulling her into his side. He put on her seat belt for her, then did his own as the driver slid into the front seat. ‘Are you cold?’ he asked, shrugging out of his jacket without waiting for an answer. He draped it around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

  ‘No.’ Lisa shook her head.

  ‘You’re shaking.’ He rubbed her arm comfortingly, warming and soothing her. He leaned forward and asked the driver to turn the heat up.

  Lisa put a hand tentatively to her cheek.

  ‘Does it hurt?’ Grayson asked.

  She shook her head. ‘It just stings a bit.’

  Grayson kissed the top of her head. He was silent for a few minutes, and Lisa could feel him relax, the adrenalin slowly leaving his body.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he asked as they pulled into the traffic.