Discovering Danielle

by L M Terry

  My war cry echoes in head over and over again. I can’t let go. I can’t let go. They can’t take her. I can’t let go. I can’t let go. They can’t take her.

  Suddenly Anthony is crouching down beside me. “Let me have the gun, sweetheart,” he urges gently. Anthony is here now. He won’t let anyone take her but, I can’t let go. I can’t let go. He tries to pull her out of my arms after taking the gun, but I don’t release my hold. I can’t let go. I can’t let go.

  Through the muffled sounds of yelling and sirens I hear a tiny voice, “daddy.” I turn to see that Dylan is crouched down at my side opposite Anthony. My eyes meet his tear-filled ones and he reaches out and hugs me close to him Sophia squished between us. Sophia needs her dad. He is here, he will protect her now, love her, see that she works through whatever this was…or is. I release her and she turns herself in our arms to latch on to him. “Daddy,” she cries again.

  “I got you baby. I got you,” he says to her over and over again. When I pull away from him he mouths the words thank you.

  Suddenly my head clears and the sounds around me are almost unbearable. I cover my ears and tuck my head between my knees. Shit. Anthony pulls me close to him whispering that everything will be okay. Will it? I’m not so sure anymore. “She is bleeding,” he says to someone.

  Hands run along the back of my head, but I don’t look up. I’m struggling to stay here, to stay in this moment but, I feel the dark encroaching on the edge of my consciousness. I look up, trying to focus on Anthony. “I need my sketch book,” I say softly.

  “You need to go to the hospital,” an EMT says crouching down in front of me. His hands are on the back of my head, holding something there.

  “I need my sketchbook,” I croak out again. “Anthony, I can sketch them.” Understanding finally flits across his face.

  “I’ll get it baby. Let them get you in the ambulance and I’ll be right there. Okay?”

  I nod, when I do my head spins and the EMT tries to steady me. Other men begin surrounding me and my pulse picks up. I can’t seem to stop shaking. They load me on to a stretcher and then into the ambulance. I see that Dylan and Sophia are already inside. Anthony comes to the doors and the EMT tells him that they only have room for Dylan. He looks like he wants to tear the guy to shreds.

  “Hey, it’s okay. Sophia needs her dad. I’ll be fine,” I tell him as he steps inside and gently lays my sketchbook and charcoal pencils on my stomach.

  He leans down and presses his lips gently to mine. “I’ll see you at the hospital,” he whispers over my lips and then turns and jumps out without giving me a second glance. I heard the catch in his voice. I don’t have time to ponder over his emotions. I need to draw those two assholes before I lose consciousness all together. My eyes flit over Dylan briefly, he is so worried about Sophia. I choke down a sob and start to sketch as quickly as I can. The medic stops me a few times so that he can start an IV and wrap my head better. I let him but then my focus is back on my mission.

  I keep the sketch turned so that Sophia doesn’t have to see it. Anger blooms inside my chest with each stroke of my pencil to paper. How dare they? She is fucking four years old. Four years old! Fuck! Fuck them! I want to kill them both! I hope I shot that bastard in the heart.

  I hand the sketches to the medic and then turn on my side away from Dylan. My anger is about to explode. I can’t do this in front of Sophia. Quickly I suck in several deep breathes. It doesn’t do any good. Dylan leans over and takes my hand squeezing it. I squeeze back, hard. I hold on to him, letting him ground me. The EMT tells us we have a five-minute arrival time. Five minutes, keep it together for five more mother fucking minutes.

  When we arrive, I plead with them to take Sophia out first. Once Sophia and Dylan are out and the sliding glass emergency room doors close behind them I lose it. Anthony is there climbing into the ambulance with me. He tries to calm me down but I’m kicking, screaming, and crying. Why the fuck does the world have to be so ugly. She was four. Four! Now she will have this memory etched into her brain forever. She was an innocent child. I try to stop my mind from thinking about all the what if’s. It’s too horrible to comprehend.

  “Dani, shhhh. Calm down, sweetheart. You saved her. Sophia is going to be fine,” Anthony says trying to hold me down so that I don’t hurt myself.

  A man in a white coat comes out and administers something in my IV. Warmth tickles at my toes and slowly slides up my body. It teases my muscles, coaxing them to relax, tricking my body into a state of comfort. My body might be a traitor to their drugs but not my mind. My mind holds on to the evil. Before, I’m completely at its mercy I recite the license plate number of the van. I’m hoping I’m saying it out loud. I’m not sure though….I’m not sure of anything at the moment.

  Once everyone seems satisfied that I have calmed down enough they transport me into a little room with a curtain around it. Anthony never leaves my side as the hospital staff comes in and out. The only time I’m away from him is when the wheel me down for an MRI. I hit my head good, bad enough that I will need stiches. I don’t care about any of that. My mind is on Sophia and how scared she must be.

  Whatever they initially gave me is wearing off and my head is threating to burst. We are waiting for the doctor to come in. I just want to get the stiches over with and get to the hotel. Anthony perches on the side of the bed and takes my hand in his rubbing his thumb over the top. “How are you doing?”

  “Honestly, I don’t even know.”

  He nods in understanding as the doctor comes in with a nurse and a cart loaded of torture items. “Ready to get stitched up?” he asks as he helps me roll to my side.

  “No, but, yes, I’m ready to get out of here.” My eyes happen to flit to Anthony, and I catch the look he gives the doctor.

  “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but we are keeping you overnight for observation,” Dr. Avery says.

  “I’m fine. Just stich me up, give me something for this fucking headache and I’ll be on my merry way,” I tell him.

  “I’ll stay with you,” Anthony says softly pulling up a chair so that he can sit up near my head while the doctor puts me back together.

  “I don’t want to stay. I’m not staying,” I state firmly.

  “This is going to feel like a bee sting. It will numb the area,” the doctor interjects before continuing. “I think it best you stay. We have a neurosurgeon coming in tomorrow morning to look over your scans. If everything looks good you can leave then.”

  I sigh and then flinch as his needle penetrates my scalp. “Shit…that hurts,” I hiss.

  Anthony folds his arms on my bed in front of my face. He rests his chin on them, coming almost nose to nose with me. “Please, don’t fight this, Dani,” he says with so much emotion that I cave.

  “Fine, I’ll stay but you should go to the hotel and rest.”

  “Not happening. I’m not leaving you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Anthony

  ◆◆◆

  Iforce my thoughts back to the earliest ones I can remember. I search and come up with nothing. No memory of the feeling I am experiencing right now. Fear. I googled it. An unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined. So, here I am at thirty-nine years of age experiencing my first bout of fear. I don’t like it. I wish I would have known how it felt before I pushed Dani to do everything that I have. Unpleasant isn’t really an accurate enough word, torturous may be a better one. Well, I guess I can’t say that I’m afraid of nothing anymore.

  I am afraid. Terrified. Of losing her.

  One minute I’m laughing and joking around with my friends and the next I’m at a rest area watching her hold onto Sophia like the devil himself was trying to rip her out of her arms. If she hadn’t been there….

  I can’t keep doing this to myself. I need to pull my shit together for her, for my family. The day unraveled at rapid speed. Luis and Rosemary are beside themselves with what happened. Guilt is gnawing at
them. Dylan and Anna are in shock. Anna has been admitted to the hospital as well as Dani. They are trying to get her through the worst of it, trying to keep her calm for the baby growing inside her. They cleared Sophia but she is with Anna and Dylan in their hospital room.

  Addy and Liam are doing their best to make sure everyone is eating, drinking and resting. Thanks to Dani having an amazing memory and being able to sketch the perpetrators so accurately they have been caught. The Colorado State Patrol apprehended them less than two hours after the attempted abduction.

  What if she hadn’t been there?

  I need to stop those thoughts, but they keep inching their way into my subconscious mind. Luis and Rosemary wouldn’t have been able to live with themselves if Sophia had been taken. Bile rises in my throat and I run down the hall to the bathroom purging myself of all the garbage that is infiltrating my brain. When I come out Addy is waiting for me by the door.

  She pulls me into a warm embrace. “Anthony, what can I do for you?” she asks.

  “Nothing, you guys should take Rosemary and Luis to the hotel. There isn’t anything anyone can do here.” I run my hand through my hair and lean against the wall for support. “How’s Sophia and Anna?”

  “They are doing okay. The adrenaline is starting to come down for everyone. Anna and Sophia were sleeping when I last checked. I don’t think Dylan will sleep for the next twenty years, poor guy. He is really torn up that he wasn’t there to protect her.”

  “Yeah, I know the feeling,” I say on a long drawn out sigh.

  “We can’t keep our loved ones locked up and in bubble wrap, Anthony. Bad things happen.”

  My gaze lands on her. She knows more than anyone that bad things happen. “I know, but it sucks.”

  “It does. How is Dani? Have they told you anything more about her scans?” She shifts from friend to doctor in the blink of an eye.

  “No, the ER doctor said that they came back with some abnormalities and that he wanted a neurosurgeon to go over them in the morning. She is sleeping now. She seems fine, but she is angry, I’ve had a hard time keeping her calm. Thank god she was there.”

  Addy takes my hand as her eyes settle on mine, thoughtfully. “Anthony, we are all where we need to be at exactly the right time. We are interconnected. Take a moment to think about the magic of it all. You were looking for Sophia, Dylan’s sister, eight years ago. You saved Dani in the process. You saved Anna in the process. Then you all came for me. Then you meet Dani again, at just the right time. You brought her here and today she saved little Sophia. Are paths are aligned. Everything will work out you will see.”

  Liam walks up with a cup of coffee. He hands it to me and then wraps Addy up in a hug. “How’s it going?”

  I laugh lightly. “Well Addy here is spreading her magic as usual.” I kiss her on the cheek, tell them to get Luis and Rosemary to the hotel and then make my way back to Dani.

  She is awake when I get back to the room. The nurse has brought in two meal trays. “You didn’t have to do that,” I tell the young lady in scrubs.

  “You need to eat too,” she says kindly. She raises Dani’s bed and fluffs her pillows making sure she has everything before she shuts the door leaving us alone. I sit down on her bed on the opposite side of the tray.

  “Hi,” Dani says in a shy voice.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask.

  “Better, how is Sophia?”

  “She is fine. A little scratched up but otherwise good. They released her but she is staying with Dylan and Anna. They admitted Anna to keep her calm for the baby’s sake. She’ll be able to leave in the morning.”

  She nods and picks up her fork poking at the chicken breast on her plate. “You should go back to the hotel.”

  “We’ve been over this. I’m not going anywhere. Besides they are feeding me here.”

  She laughs and then grimaces touching her head. “You call this food?”

  I run my fingers over her forehead. “Well, I could call and order us a pizza?”

  “You can do that?” she asks looking at me doubtfully.

  “Did you forget who I am?”

  She smiles at me coyly. “Get ordering then. I’m starving.”

  As I’m pulling my phone out to google the nearest pizza delivery Dylan knocks on the door and bops his head in. “Sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if I could have a moment with Dani?” he asks hesitantly.

  “Sure, I was just getting ready to order us a pizza. Do you want me to order you guys one?”

  “Yeah, man that would be great.” He steps into the room and I see he has a stack of papers and a tape dispenser. He holds them up to show us what he has. “Sophia colored these, and I have strict instructions to tape them up in Dani’s room. She said she doesn’t want her to be sad because she has to stay here tonight.”

  I nod once and then turn tail to get out of there before I tear up. I’m not sure what’s happening to me. I don’t fear and I sure as fuck don’t cry. Ever. I’ve broken one of those rules today, I’m not about to break the second by allowing any moisture to leak out of my eyes. Fuck.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Danielle

  ◆◆◆

  Ipush the tray away from me as I watch Dylan tape twenty or so colorful Disney images all over my walls. “You are a good dad,” I tell him. His hands pause in midair.

  He turns his head speaking over his shoulder. “I wasn’t a good dad today,” he says sadly.

  “You were a perfect Dad today,” I insist. He turns to look at me. His heart is broken, it is painfully written across his face. I pat the bed urging him to sit with me. He tapes the last picture to the wall and then joins me.

  He looks terribly uncomfortable, so I go first. “My dad left me, he took his own life and he left me in this fucked up world all alone. Then I got a second chance at having a father and that man did nothing but abuse me. Do you know what he did after you saved me, the day I was returned home?”

  He shakes his head no.

  “He took me to a truck stop to make a quick buck off me.” He turns to look out my window, avoiding eye contact with me. I know I don’t have to tell this man the horrors of the world. He knows. But, what he doesn’t evidently know is how good of a father he is. “Sophia is a lucky little girl. She has so many people who love her and she has a wonderful dad.”

  “I’m never going to be able to repay you, Dani. I don’t know what I would have done if they would have taken her.” He chokes and sputters, his emotions bubbling over.

  “That’s not how this works. Even if it was a tit for tat scenario, well you already saved me once so…I guess we are even now.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t remember you. I knew you looked familiar, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I didn’t think about you being someone we had saved. What are the odds?”

  “About as good as what happened today,” I take his hand in mine. “I didn’t expect either of you to remember me Dylan. It’s cool. I have always wondered if you ever found your sister.”

  He looks out the window again before turning back to me. “Her name was Sophia. Anna and I decided to name our first-born daughter after her.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “We found her but during the rescue she found a gun and took her own life.”

  I squeeze his hand. There are no words to offer that will make the pain of losing his sister any less. He points to the tray of uneaten food. “I’m sure glad Anthony is ordering pizza if that was going to be our option for dinner.”

  And just like that we move away from our pain. He waits with us quietly until the pizza arrives and then he takes his and heads back to Anna and Sophia. The nurse comes in and does her nightly duties while Anthony flips stations in search of something for us to watch. He settles on a romantic comedy and then settles into the bed beside me. I only make it about mid-way through the flick before I turn towards him and curl into his warmth. Safe in his arms, nothing can get me here.

  However, sleep doesn’t keep m
e in its grip for very long. The two men infiltrate my dreams. I dream that they are in a deep, dark pit and Sophia is playing along the edge. I can’t see them, but I know they are there. I yell out to her to move away but she doesn’t hear me. Just as I’m about to reach for her she falls, I throw myself to the ground catching her hands as she slips down into the dark hole. I can’t let go. I can’t let go.

  Someone is holding me down as I thrash and kick. I wake with a start screaming out loud…I can’t let go!

  “Shhh, baby it’s okay it was just a dream. It was just a dream.” Once my vision clears I realize I’m in my hospital room and Anthony is rocking me back and forth.

  My nurse rushes in. “Oh, girlie you gave me a scare.”

  “She’s alright it was just a bad dream,” he tells her.

  “Would you like to shower, sweetie?”

  “Ah, yeah, sure. Is it morning already?”

  “It is early but yes it’s morning. The doctor should be around in a few hours. I’ll get everything ready for you.”

  As she walks out Addy and Liam step inside the doorway. “Sorry we are here so early, but I wanted to bring Dani up some of her things.” She hands me a small travel bag. I peek inside quick seeing my phone, clothes and other toiletries.

  “Thank you, Addy. I was just getting ready to shower so this is wonderful. I’m tired of wearing this.” I point to my gown and then turn around giving them all a quick flash of my underwear. I leave them all busting a gut laughing to take my shower.

  When I come out I find that everyone is gone, and I have two new visitors. I pause hesitantly not sure how Sophia will react seeing me again. “Am I missing out on the coloring party,” I ask.