The Songs in Our Hearts: A Young Adult Romance

by Chantal Gadoury

  “Don’t have to be a what?” I jerked my head to look at him.

  He paused and pulled his car into the left lane.

  “Go on and say what you were going to say,” I challenged him. “Were you going to say that I don’t have to be a bitch? Is that what I am?”

  “You didn’t need to be an ass about it,” he snapped. “We were going to hang out with them for just a little bit, and then…I figured we could do something on our own afterwards.”

  “I had more fun with you at the dance. That was enough for me. Why don’t you just go back to your buddies? They’re waiting for you with a nice, cold beer. Hell, even the girl with the pink hair—” I snapped my fingers trying to remember her name.

  “Charlie—” Micah sighed and pressed his thumb against the base of his forehead.

  “Kate! Her name is Kate. She wants in your pants.”

  “What does it matter to you?” Micah asked, amused. His lips slowly turned upwards with a hint of a smirk. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to think this was funny.

  I started to walk again. I wanted to go home. I was the biggest fool to think Micah was the sort of boy I’d want to be with. Micah drove the car slowly behind me, keeping in pace with my walking.

  “Charlie, please get in the car,” he said softly, extending an arm out the open window.

  “You’re driving on the wrong side of the road,” I replied curtly.

  “If you’d just get into the car, I wouldn’t have to.”

  “No, thank you.” I kept my focus on the dark road ahead. Josh needed to hurry up.

  “I can’t just leave you on the side of the road.” Micah inched the car forward.

  “Sure you can.” I looked down at my phone. Nothing. “My brother is coming to get me, anyway.” I was pretty sure Micah swore under his breath at that.

  “Can I drive you to where you’re meeting him, at least?” Micah offered.

  I held my breath, counting to ten and then backwards. I didn’t want to get into the car with him…and yet, a part of me did. I wanted to go back to the dance and have that Micah. The one who held my hips in his hands, smirked at me with his sexy, lazy smile, and made fun of girly love songs.

  “Why do you hang out with them?” I crossed my shivering arms over my chest as I continued to walk. “What if someone had called the cops?”

  “Well one of them is going to help with our project,” Micah snapped.

  “I didn’t ask him to help. You did.”

  “I asked him because he has skills,” Micah glared at me. “I’m not picky when it comes to a good grade. Especially when I’m trapped in a partnership with a stuck-up girl who won’t settle for less than an A in everything!”

  “Oh, now I’m stuck-up!” I snorted. “If we’re name-calling, then guess I’ll say you’re a loser.”

  “Stop walking,” Micah commanded me. “Now.”

  “You can’t tell me what to do!” I snapped and ignored his request. I wasn’t going to stop walking just because he told me to.

  Micah stopped the car. “I can when you’re being a brat. You were out of your comfort zone and you didn’t like that.”

  “Sorry for not feeling like getting arrested tonight,” I replied irritably and stopped walking.

  “No one was hurting you! You’re just full of excuses. Everyone in high school drinks.”

  “It’s not an excuse!” I could see my breath against the air. “And not everyone does ridiculous stuff like you and your friends were.” I shook my head. “What was going on back there is not what I consider fun.”

  “To them, it’s called living. Clearly you don’t know how.”

  “You keep saying that,” I said through gritted teeth. “But I don’t think you understand what it really means. It doesn’t mean to live stupidly, Micah.”

  “You’re being a pain in the ass.”

  I couldn’t keep from laughing. “Oh, yeah? You’re one to talk.”

  Micah turned off the car and opened the door. I pressed my arms more tightly against my chest as I bit down on the inside of my cheek. He slammed the door and leaned against it, staring at me.

  “I’ll just wait here for Josh then,” Micah said, shoving his hands into his pockets stubbornly.

  “I told him I’d meet him at the Mini-Mart.”

  He sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, Charlie.” The disgruntled expression on his features reflected his remorse as he repeated, “I’m sorry.”

  My stomach tightened as I chewed my bottom lip.

  “Please get in the car; I’ll drive you to the Mini-Mart. Standing out here in the cold, arguing with one another, isn’t going to get either one of us anywhere.”

  He was right about that, at least. The cold was starting to seep through my clothing. I heaved a relenting breath and walked over to the passenger side of the car. I slid into the seat and waited for Micah to start the car.

  We were both quiet as he drove, winding back to Main Street. Josh’s car came into view as we turned the corner, into the parking lot. Josh opened his door, glowering at Micah, giving him a silent warning. I didn’t say anything as I scrambled out, though I thought I heard Micah mumble something about texting me later. I didn’t say goodbye. I didn’t say anything to Josh either as I clambered into the Jeep.

  When we pulled into our driveway, I nearly ran into the house, grateful to see that both of my parents had already gone to bed. I slipped into my room and shut the door, listening only for Josh’s footsteps as he walked by. I scrubbed my face in the bathroom, removing the stupid makeup I had put on, and changed into pajamas. I was thankful I didn’t have to go to school the next day. I had forty-eight hours before I’d have to see Micah again.

  I ignored the vibration of a text message as I slipped into bed.

  “Secrets”

  OneRepublic

  JOSH GAVE ME A RIDE to school on Monday. He had been waiting for me in the kitchen when he took in my still-somber face. I had pretty much hidden in my room the entire weekend, ignoring my texts. I didn’t want to talk about the dance and I certainly didn’t feel like rehashing our fight after the bonfire.

  “She lives,” Josh teased me, scooping up his keys. “Figured I’d give you a ride to school.”

  “Can’t I just stay home sick?” I exhaled, pulling my hair back into a ponytail.

  “Nope. Come on, swamp monster. To school we go.” Josh picked up his backpack and patted my shoulder. “I’ll meet you in the Jeep.”

  I grabbed an apple from the counter and pulled on my sweatshirt. I felt sloppy and looking the part was fine with me. Ben, J, and David didn’t say much to me on the way to school either. They must have noticed my messy ponytail and shoddy clothes. Josh gave me a solemn frown as I climbed out of the Jeep and headed into the building alone.

  When I saw Jennifer and Rachel waiting nearby, I did my best to avoid them, blending in with a group of students walking past. But Micah was leaning against the wall in the hallway, and I knew he had seen me. My cheeks warmed as I quickly maneuvered away from him. I pounced up the staircase to English, glancing over my shoulder once to make sure he wasn’t following me.

  By the end of class, I knew I should have stayed in bed. Samantha stared at me with a calculated smirk. I wished I knew the hair curse Sara Crewe used in the movie The Little Princess. It would be amusing to watch clumps of Samantha’s hair fall out. As I turned my attention back to Mrs. Tenner, who was giving homework, I noticed Micah staring at me.

  “Have a great rest of the day, everyone!” Mrs. Tenner encouraged us as the bell rang. I started to gather up my things when Micah came to stand beside me.

  “Paul got some sets built this weekend. Can we start filming after school this week?”

  “Sure.” I shoved my notebook into my backpack and moved away, out toward the hallway.

  “I don’t want t
he cold shoulder,” Micah said, following me. “I apologized. I don’t know what more you want from me.”

  “Nothing. I don’t want anything from you.” It was too awkward to look at him, so I didn’t.

  “So you’re going to be all distant with me now?” In my periphery, I saw him tilt his head. “Are you going to do that thing girls do? Just pretend I don’t exist when you’re angry?”

  “I might be annoyed, but I’m not like that.”

  “I’d say you’re exactly like that,” Micah jabbed. I glared at him.

  “I’m not pretending you don’t exist. You make it too much of a challenge.”

  “At least I’m good for something, right?” he snapped. I rolled my eyes.

  “I didn’t say that. All I’m saying is that I’m not ignoring you, Micah.”

  “So, it’s safe to say we’re still friends, then?” Micah tested, shifting his weight on his feet.

  “Yeah…just friends,” I mumbled.

  “Just...” Micah echoed with a hint of understanding in his voice. We both knew what I was saying. It shouldn’t have mattered anyway. I clearly wasn’t Micah’s type, and he wasn’t mine either.

  “See you later.” I turned and left.

  The rest of the day dragged on. At the lunch table, Jennifer turned to me excitedly, wanting all the juicy details of the dance, but I couldn’t have that conversation.

  “Are you all right?” Jennifer looked suddenly concerned. “Did something happen between you and Micah over the weekend?”

  “I really don’t want to talk about it,” I murmured, as I took a bite of the homemade chili in front of me.

  “It’s probably because Charlie ran away from the bonfire Micah invited her to,” Samantha snickered from down the table. “She doesn’t have anything to talk about, because nothing happened!”

  I gaped at her, shocked, and then irritated. How did she know?

  “You don’t have to look so surprised, Charlie,” Samantha said, sickeningly sweet. “Everyone knows about the bonfire. Kate McMann and Jadie Burns, who were there, can’t stop talking about the girl who thought she was better than them. Apparently, you really made a scene and walked off. Poor Micah had to go chase after you in his car.”

  My eyes darted from Rachel to Jennifer, and then across the room to Micah. He was sitting quietly, picking at the food on his tray. I pushed myself up from the table and grabbed my tray, glaring at Samantha coldly.

  “You know what, Samantha? You should just shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You think you know everything, because you’re in everyone’s business all the time, but you don’t.”

  I didn’t give her the chance to say anything more to me. I needed to get out before I said something I might regret. There was too much anger built up over the years because of her. I hated her for the hurtful ploy involving Dane Wesley and me. I hated her for flirting with Micah. I hated her for pretending to be my friend, and being nothing more than a two-faced backstabber. She didn’t care about anyone, and manipulated every situation to benefit herself. There was no reason for me to worry so much about what she said about me. So, why did I give her such power over my feelings and me? I just needed to get away.

  “Charlie!” Jennifer and Rachel called after me. I glanced over my shoulder at them to see Samantha grinning in my direction. Nothing I had said affected her. Of course. Without a second thought, I slid my tray into the return carousel and stalked out of the cafeteria, fuming. I didn’t stop until I reached the outdoor tennis courts. There were a few other students out, hitting a tennis ball between each other with their rackets. I took a seat at one of the wooden benches and watched them. At least they could get it over the net.

  “Charlie?” My heart jumped in my chest at the sound of the voice behind me. Slowly, I turned to see Micah standing on the other side of the fence.

  “I saw you leave, and…I… Are you all right?”

  I shook my head, looking down.

  “Look, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about what happened Friday night,” he continued.

  “It’s not a big deal.”

  “No, it is,” Micah asserted. “It is a big deal.”

  “I’m just your English partner, Micah,” I told him. “I’m sorry to cause you so much drama. Once our project is over, things will go back to normal for us.”

  “Is that what you want?” Micah came around the fence. “I mean, the first time we met, I was under the impression you had a crush on me.” He tried to make me smile.

  “You can’t believe everything you hear,” I snapped. “Especially when it comes from Samantha.”

  He came to sit down beside me. “I don’t think I’d like it if we just went back to being strangers after everything.”

  I sucked in a breath. I felt the same way. I’d enjoyed the moments we shared.

  “I really overreacted at the bonfire,” I confessed, rubbing my sweatshirt-covered arm.

  Micah shrugged. “A little bit, but I guess I get it. I probably should have warned you about Marshall’s friends. I don’t really hang out with them all that often. They’re just part of the group.”

  “I just felt super uncomfortable.”

  He nodded. “I understand. It’s just like how it’s not a normal thing for me to go to a dance. But I did have fun.” Micah grinned at me. “Your moves were actually the best part of the entire night.”

  I swatted his arm and did everything I could to not smile.

  “So, what happened in there, then?” Micah jerked his head toward the school building.

  “Just Sam again.” I sighed. “She said everyone knows about the bonfire.”

  “Who is everyone and what do they know? That you left? That Marshall jumped over the fire pit? Some girls got drunk? I mean, what’s worth knowing or telling?”

  “That we went together and that I made a big scene and left,” I explained, feeling myself blush. “That I made you run after me.”

  “You didn’t make me run after you. I chose to run after you,” Micah said firmly. “I don’t get it. It’s a little too late to be worried about what people will say about being seen with me.”

  I shook my head. “It’s not you.” It’s me. Ugh, that’s one of those lame lines used by lame people, but it was true for me. I guess that made me lame. It had nothing to do with him, and yet…it did. Micah continued to watch me, waiting for me to go on.

  “Whatever Sam says doesn’t matter, Charlie. People are going to talk. Let them. Whether you have a crush on me, or not.” He smiled. “The people that really matter are the ones who don’t gossip about you, the ones who know the truth.”

  I nodded. He was right.

  “You don’t have a crush on me, and I don’t have one on you. We’re just friends,” Micah stated. “You said so yourself, earlier today in the hallway. Just friends. That’s it. Nothing else to it. Who gives a damn what Sam says? All that matters are our feelings.”

  I had never regretted my words so much in my entire life until that moment. I wanted to tell Micah that he was wrong. Or rather, that I had been wrong. I wanted to confess there and then that I did have feelings for him, whatever they were. I had felt something that first night in the car, and at the dance. There had been something between us. I didn’t know why I had to ruin it by being so worried about everyone finding out. Maybe I was afraid that, if they did, he’d show up with his arm wrapped around someone else. Maybe I was afraid of being a joke to him. I had already been made to feel that way once by Samantha and Dane Wesley.

  We heard the bell ring from the distance, and watched as the tennis players gathered their racket bags and extra balls, and raced back toward the gym.

  “We should go back in,” Micah said, patting my knee gently. I had never noticed just how warm or large his hands were. He stood up and held out a hand to me. “Come on, C.” I took it without hesit
ation and, for a moment, I swore I felt him squeeze mine.

  Micah led us back to the building, back to where everyone would watch us walking in, hand-in-hand.

  “All Through the Night”

  Sleeping At Last

  “SO, WHERE IS YOUR BOYFRIEND?” Dad asked as I picked up his plate from the dinner table and brought it to the sink.

  My eyes darted to Josh, sitting quietly at the table. He looked at me, just as confused. I knew by Josh’s shrug he had no idea where that had come from either.

  “My boyfriend?” I asked, lowering the plate into the hot, soapy water.

  “Yeah, that Micah kid.” Dad turned in his seat to look at me.

  “Dad, he’s not my boyfriend. We’re just friends. English partners, really.”

  “You’re sure he’s not your boyfriend?” Dad asked again, this time with a hint of laughter in his voice. I rinsed off the plate and placed it on the drying rack.

  “I’m really sure, Dad,” I said again, smiling now. “Really. There’s nothing going on between us.”

  Sometimes, my dad had a way of knowing things. In times like these, I wondered how transparent I was to him.

  “I’m bound to see more of him, right?” he asked, still eyeing me.

  “Yeah, because of the project,” I insisted. Dad shrugged and glanced at Josh.

  “You’d tell your old man if she was dating someone, wouldn’t you, Joshua?”

  I pulled the plug up from the sink and wiped my hands on a towel, eager to hear what Josh would say. I wondered if he’d bring up Friday night.

  “I would tell you, Dad,” Josh grinned. “I mean, of course I’d tell you. I think it’s pretty safe to say that Charlie isn’t dating him.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, he’s sure!” I interjected with a laugh, and came to sit back down at the table. My mom emerged from the hall, having had just changed out of her work clothes. She glanced at us curiously.

  “What are you three going on about?” She pulled up a chair.