The Songs in Our Hearts: A Young Adult Romance

by Chantal Gadoury

  “Dad is interrogating me about Micah,” I explained. “He’s thinks Micah’s my boyfriend.”

  “Oh, your English partner?” Mom asked.

  “He’s just a friend,” I repeated.

  “If that,” Josh mumbled. I’d forgotten to mention to Josh what had happened at lunch earlier that day. But his comment hadn’t gone unnoticed by my dad, who was already looking at him, intrigued.

  “What does that mean, Josh?”

  “It just means that Micah is kind of a punk kid, and if he doesn’t watch himself, he’s gonna get his face busted,” Josh said, a bit too seriously. I bit the inside of my cheek.

  “Josh…” I hissed, hoping he’d catch my warning. Do not mention the bonfire! Not in front of Dad! His expression challenged me not to test him, so I didn’t.

  “He’s a punk and you know it,” Josh murmured.

  “No, he isn’t. His friends are,” I huffed. Mom and Dad glanced warily between the two of us. I pushed myself from my chair with a sigh. “I need to get a few more things done for the English project.” I hugged my dad tightly. “You’ll always be my number one man, Dad,” I smiled. “Don’t worry. I don’t have a boyfriend. Not yet!”

  “Not ever,” Josh and Dad said at the same time. I found myself giggling as I headed upstairs.

  I was dreading the huge pile of homework waiting for me in my room. It wasn’t the only thing waiting for me. As I glanced at my phone, I noticed Micah had sent a few messages.

  MICAH: Hey, r u around?

  MICAH: I know how this is gonna sound.

  MICAH: Can I come over?

  MICAH: Charlie?

  CHARLIE: Hey, Micah, sorry! I was at dinner!

  CHARLIE: What’s going on? Are you okay?

  MICAH: I need to get out of the trailer. My dad is kinda...

  MICAH: Do u wanna hang out?

  I stared at the screen, wondering what had happened. Micah hardly spoke about his dad. I walked back down to the kitchen, phone in hand as I approached my parents and Josh.

  “Can Micah come over, Dad?” I asked, unable to hide the concern in my voice. “He just texted me and I think something is going on.”

  Dad’s gaze was inquisitive. I had just spent the last few minutes trying to convince him that Micah wasn’t my boyfriend, and yet, there I was, asking if he could come over…again.

  “He said he needs to talk to me about something going on with the sets,” I quickly added, thinking of a white lie. I didn’t want to explain anything about Micah’s family when I really had no idea what was going on. Josh looked at me with a very clear what the hell expression on his face.

  “It can’t wait until tomorrow?” Dad asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s a school night.”

  I shook my head quickly. “No…uh…there’s some sort of redesign he needs to show me and ask me about before Paul finishes building the sets.”

  “He can’t just text you photos?” Josh asked suspiciously. “You know, from his phone?”

  “No, Josh. He can’t just take photos on his phone,” I said sharply. “It’s just for a few minutes, please?” I turned to look at my mom and dad, who were now looking at each other. Dad was the first to respond.

  “Fine, but curfew still stands. He needs to leave by nine-thirty. Capisce?”

  “Yep!” I quickly texted Micah back.

  CHARLIE: Come over

  CHARLIE: We can hang out here

  MICAH: I’m around the block

  MICAH: Be there in a sec

  Micah was on my front porch a few minutes later. I hadn’t noticed how hard it was raining outside until I opened the door. He was completely drenched from head to foot.

  “Oh, my gosh, get in here!” I exclaimed, pulling him into the house. He stood on the mat, dripping all over the place. “Did you drive or walk?” I asked with a snort as I took in the sight of him.

  “What would be more romantic?” Micah grinned as he slipped his shoes off.

  “Micah,” I warned softly, eyeing him with a teasing smile.

  “Fine, fine. I drove. It’s just raining hard.”

  I sighed and shook my head.

  “Stay right there. Let me go get you a towel.” I bolted to the bathroom, grabbing a few towels from the closet, and raced back. While Micah patted down his hair with a towel, Josh cleared his throat behind me.

  “Here, I have some extra clothes you can change into.” He offered a plain white T-shirt and a pair of sweats he was holding.

  “That’s okay. I don’t plan to be here long,” Micah declined politely. “I appreciate it, though.”

  “No way, man. Come on. You’re all wet. Here, Charlie.” Josh tossed the clothing at me. “I don’t really care about them. Just dry off.” Josh didn’t hang around to say anything more. Instead, he went back to his room. My parents were still sitting at the dining table as I led Micah into the house. He gave them a small wave and a word of thanks as he headed to the bathroom to change. I stood awkwardly in the hallway, unsure what to say.

  “Must be pretty important,” Dad remarked as he stood to take his glass to the sink. “To come all this way in the pouring rain to show you some redesigns.”

  Dad never believed my lies. He always knew better. In this case, I already figured he understood there was something more going on. But he was too considerate to voice it out loud.

  “Must be,” I replied, looking down at my feet.

  Micah was quick to come out of the bathroom and meet me in the hallway. “So, those redesigns you said you wanted to show me…” I began, hoping he would catch on.

  “Oh, right…” Micah gave me an understanding nod.

  My dad walked past us. I could read his eyes plainly: you don’t have to keep lying, Charlie.

  I pulled Micah to my room, being sure to keep the door ajar to appease my parents’ unspoken rule. Micah sat down on the side of my bed and slid his hands through his damp hair. I could tell there was a lot on his mind. I took a seat beside him.

  “What’s going on with your dad?” I asked softly, tilting my head.

  “You don’t know how lucky you are.”

  I looked down at my hands in my lap. I never really thought about how lucky I was. While I loved my family, and wouldn’t trade them for the world, I sometimes wondered what life would be like to travel, go on camping trips and spontaneous adventures like other families. Every summer, Rachel and Jennifer would visit different states with their family, while I’d sit at home and tackle the summer reading list provided by the local library. I understood that my parents had to work a lot to make ends meet, but I wanted to have the same experiences as my friends.

  “Your mom, for instance. You’re lucky you have a mom. Mine left us years ago. She just packed her shit up and left. My dad started to drink pretty heavily afterward.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, sucking in a breath.

  For the first time since I had met Micah, I felt sorry for him. And not the condescending pity kind of “feeling sorry.” The thought of not having one of my parents in my life was unbearable. The idea that any family could one day be incomplete felt wrong and painful. I couldn’t imagine what sort of lonely life Micah and his dad had together. No one was there to console him with a hug when he had a bad day. Who was there to encourage him with his passions? Or to hold him accountable when he did something wrong? I couldn’t imagine not having a mom to confide in, to spend time with. Sure, dads could fill that role, but a mom’s love was different. Having both parents made me feel uniquely whole.

  “What happened tonight? Was he drinking?” I asked tentatively.

  “He was just going off, throwing some shit around. Paul made the mistake of waking up my dad when he dropped off stuff for the sets after school. My dad got up and started slamming dishes down on the counter, mumbling about us being loud. Then he punched a hole in the wall when I tal
ked back.” He paused, letting out a heavy sigh. “Sometimes…it just gets to be too much.” We sat silently together, while I desperately tried to find something to say.

  “I’m sorry I came here and dumped my shit on you. I just wanted to get out of there,” Micah finally said, breaking the silence.

  “No!” I shook my head. “No, don’t apologize. I’m glad you came.”

  “It’s not like he’s home anymore anyway, but…I just didn’t want to sit in the trailer, staring at the hole he made in the wall.”

  Knowing that his father was capable of that sort of violence made me shiver. Had he ever hurt Micah before? What if he got in such a rage that he was uncontrollable? I’d seen my father angry, but he never lashed out. Never once had I ever felt threatened, or ever feared he’d harm Josh or me. I couldn’t, in good conscience, send Micah home, despite my parents’ curfew. But how could I keep him here?

  Biting my bottom lip, unsure, I asked, “Why don’t you stay here tonight?” It felt odd to ask a boy—one I liked, no less—to stay over. I wanted to help him, and this was the only way I knew how.

  “I don’t think your parents would be down for that, Charlie. Thanks, though.” Micah’s eyes twinkled. “Cute idea.”

  “They don’t have to know,” I said daringly. I had never really broken a rule—not so deliberately. Micah put his hand to my forehead.

  “Are you feeling all right? What happened to Caroline Blake? The one who never lives a little?”

  I pushed his hand down. “You keeping telling me to live a little, so let me,” I said, gesturing toward my door. “You can leave out the side door, down in the garage. Move your car down the block, then walk back. I’ll sneak you in when my parents are asleep, which won’t take long. You can come up here to my room and crash.”

  “Do you sneak up all of the boys you date?” Micah asked, amused. “Seems like you’ve spent a bit of time thinking about this.”

  “Nooooo!” I rolled my eyes. “I’ve never had a boyfriend, and I think about a lot of things, thanks.”

  “I’d like you to tell me what those other ‘things’ are sometime,” he grinned and wiggled his eyebrow suggestively.

  I shoved him with my elbow and stood up. “We’re friends, remember? Just.”

  “Whoa, right. Just.”

  He seemed all right with my plan, and agreed. Before he left, at nine-thirty, he changed back into his wet clothes so he’d have something dry to wear when he returned. I guided him out the side garage door, claiming loudly it would be closer for him to get to his car. After Micah backed out of the driveway, my parents said goodnight to me and drifted to their bedroom. In no time, the sound of my dad’s snoring filled the house. It always amazed me how fast he could fall asleep. He said he just closes his eyes and that’s that, whereas, I struggle every night.

  Shortly after hearing his snores, I returned to the garage, having tiptoed through the house, and snuck Micah back in. Have you ever seen one of those chick flicks, when the guy is out in the rain and the girl opens the door to find him soaked, and yet super handsome? She’s left breathless by the sight of him. In the movies, the guy usually smiles and slides a casual hand through his rain-soaked hair. And everything in that moment, despite the downpour, is perfect. The girl usually realizes her true feelings for the guy and they kiss. In that moment, I was that girl. As I gazed at Micah, I fought back the unfamiliar urge to push myself up on my tiptoes and kiss the rain from his lips.

  Snapping myself from my fantasy, I handed Micah a clean, dry towel and guided him quietly back to my room. For a moment, as we walked by Josh’s room, I thought I heard movement coming from the other side of his closed door. I was almost sure my brother would come out and catch us. My luck held out and we crept back to my room. Just after closing my door, Micah smirked at me.

  “I never thought you had it in you, Caroline Blake, but you surprised the hell outta me.”

  “I’m full of surprises.” I pulled the comforter off my bed, and attempted to figure out how I was going to fit him comfortably on the floor. It was a struggle to keep my eyes off of him as he began to change back into Josh’s clothes in the middle of my room. I wanted to look, but….

  “What are you doing?” Micah asked, glancing at the comforter in my arms as he pulled Josh’s shirt over his head. I stared at his bare chest. There was a small patch of hair starting just below his collar bone and trailed down. My eyes followed the line of hair to the waistband of the sweatpants he had slipped on. I knew I had to be as red as a cherry. Quickly, I laid the comforter on the floor.

  “I was going to make you a bed…on the floor,” I said as I tried to clear my throat. I looked at him quizzically.

  “You know, I’m not going to try any funny business…if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  My jaw slackened. “You want to sleep in my bed? With me?” I was pretty sure my voice squeaked. He was playing it cool and I needed to do the same. No big deal, right? “Sure, I mean. Why not?” I added, calmly as I could.

  Lifting the comforter from the floor, I spread it back on the bed. Carefully, I hooked my phone up to the charger and flicked off the light. Holding my breath, I slid into the far side of my bed. My heart was racing again. What if he can hear it thumping when he lays down beside me? How am I going to explain my pounding pulse? Before I could think of an excuse, Micah crawled in next to me and stretched.

  “You have the best facial expressions,” he said to me, shifting to his side. I remained in place, unable to move.

  “Just go to sleep,” I heard myself whisper. Squeezing my eyes shut, I could hear Micah chuckle beside me. He shifted again, this time, turning his back to me.

  “Goodnight.” His voice was warm and husky in the dark room. I rolled onto my side, facing away from him, too.

  “Night,” I replied, tugging the comforter up to my shoulders. After a long moment, I felt Micah turn again, and I felt his warm breath against my neck as he murmured, “Thanks, Charlie.”

  “Let’s Hurt Tonight”

  OneRepublic

  I WAS WARM AND COZY. Everything was so comfy underneath my blankets and comforter. As I turned and adjusted in bed, my hand came in contact with skin—with Micah. I jolted just as my alarm began to go off. Memories of the night before rushed to my mind. Micah at the door. The rain. Sneaking him into my room after everyone had gone to bed. Slowly, I turned to gaze down at the disheveled haired and partly-sleeping man in my bed. I heard Micah groan softly, pushing his head deeper into the pillow.

  “Ugh, turn it off. Five more minutes.”

  “It’s on your side,” I murmured, rubbing my eyes. I peered again at Micah, who had ruffled bed head but seemingly appeared relaxed and soft and so tempting to cuddle with. I fought back my desire to do just that. When Micah didn’t move, I tried to lean over him to grab my phone from the nightstand.

  “I have to lean over you,” I said. Micah snorted, still unmoving.

  “It’s your chance to be on top of me. Don’t let that opportunity pass you by,” he mumbled into the pillow.

  “You wish,” I said as I stretched my arm for my phone. I felt his warm hands brace my hips gently as I leaned over him, keeping me from falling over. I was glad he hadn’t seen me blush at his touch. Disconnecting my phone from the charger, I tugged it back over to my side of the bed and turned the alarm off. It was six in the morning. We had an hour to catch the bus.

  As the realization dawned on me that I’d have to get him past Josh and my mom—my dad normally left for work at five o’clock—my heart began to pound more ferociously than ever.

  “You look like you’ve just experienced a night full of regret,” Micah chuckled, sliding a hand through his hair as he turned onto his side. “I’m not used to that kind of expression.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Do I really?”

  “Are you already over thinking? It’s a bit ear
ly for that, don’t you think?” he joked as he poked my arm. “It’s not like anything happened last night.”

  “I’m not worried about that sort of stuff,” I retorted.

  “Really?” Micah seemed surprised. “You’re a virgin, right?”

  “Are you?” I asked inquisitively.

  “Am I?” he taunted playfully. “Micah’s mysteries.”

  “How am I going to get you past my family?” I blurted, trying to change the subject. A thrilling and exciting shiver ran up my spine at the thought of Micah and I kissing…and more. But this wasn’t the time or the place. I glanced from my bedroom door, back to him. I hadn’t thought this out thoroughly. My priority had been keeping Micah away from his dad, safe.

  “Yes, quite the dilemma you’re in,” he teased.

  “Be serious,” I said as I began to crawl over him to get out of the bed. Micah caught my arm tenderly; his face very close to mine. This was becoming so confusing—this thing between him and I.

  “Calm down. We’ll be all right. Just get dressed. I’ll think of something, C.”

  For a brief moment, I found myself completely trusting him. I knew he was right; we’d be just fine. Carefully, Micah released my arm and I stumbled to my closet, gathering whatever clothes my hands touched and moved to my adjoining bathroom.

  I was relieved to close the door and have a moment to myself to reflect on the last eight hours. I had slept beside Micah Jacobs. Sleeping in my own bed would never be the same. Would his scent linger on my pillows? Shaking my thoughts away, I slid a blouse over my head and tugged on a fresh pair of jeans. Glancing in the mirror, I pulled my hair up into a loose ponytail and then began to brush my teeth. Micah tapped on the door as he peeked in.

  “Is it safe? I wanted to know if you had an extra toothbrush.” Thankfully, my mom always had our bathrooms supplied for unexpected guests.