The Diary: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Kate Speck

  “I could not have let you go to an undeserving man, Lizzy, but you seem to honestly like him,” Mr. Bennet sighed morosely. “I have met the man a few times and I never thought there could be an attachment between you two, and imagine my shock when you danced the first with him at the Netherfield Ball. I had thought he might be finally behaving gentlemanly towards his friend’s sister, as I had already known Bingley was going to propose to Jane, and then he left Hertfordshire rather quickly afterwards, not to be mentioned by anyone again. I know you had been writing to Miss Darcy and had met the earl and countess and their family, but I never guessed you would be gone without a warning.” He tenderly looked at his favourite. “I thought I would have more time to keep you under my roof.”

  Elizabeth kissed her father’s forehead, “I shall be here a while longer, papa, and Jane will only be three miles away. London is only a four-hour’s ride from here and you shall see me often.”

  “But Pemberley is a three-days’ journey and I will feel the distance keenly. I will miss you, child, but I am appeased in that if you accepted him, that he must be worthy of your hand. I just might drop by your new home when least expected to enjoy the grand library in Mr. Darcy’s homes.” Mr. Bennet chuckled, “Once I speak with him and assess his worthiness for myself, as long as he can earn your respect and be a good partner for life, I will not deny him. A nephew to an earl and such a wealthy gentleman, I could refuse him very little but I will stand by your choice. If you had declined him, like you had Mr. Lucas and Mr. Collins, and Mr. Darcy had continued to pester you for your hand and you did not want him, I would have moved heaven and earth for your future happiness.”

  “I know, papa.” Elizabeth smiled. “I love him. He is a good man and as I am learning more about him, he is honourable and kind and cares for everyone under his lot. I never knew such... regard and I am happy to become his wife.”

  Mr. Bennet’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled affectionately. “I am glad to hear it, Lizzy. Since you will be marrying your sister’s betrothed’s friend, I feel it appropriate to share with you what Mr. Bingley had been doing while he had been gone from the area but secretly engaged to your sister.” Elizabeth listened carefully to her father’s explanation. “Bingley has been working for His Majesty’s Army! Can you believe it? He took residence in Netherfield to assist in capturing a French spy and to lure in traitors in an heroic effort to locate enemies against our country, and his duty after leaving Netherfield was to continue his communication with a high-ranking officer in order to set traps and be involved in some secret reconnaissance to draw out the evil men who were plotting to assassinate our King. Bingley says he was only following orders of this strategist officer in a small part of the scheme, his only duty in befriending gentlemen to gather information, but I suspect he is being humble about his role and would not be surprised if he receives a knighthood after the fact. Sir Charles! How well that sounds!” He grinned. “But I cannot imagine a gentleman working for the army to keep our country safe. Bingley revealed that he worked under a brave brigadier who had not only fought alongside General Wellesley in Denmark and protected him from being killed, but that the Prince Regent himself is a good friend of this brigadier and has a personal interest in that officer’s future. Can you imagine knowing such a great man?”

  Elizabeth could only shake her head as she heard her father’s words. If it was the same brigadier, it seemed Mr. Darcy was indeed a great man and she could not fathom seeing her beloved in a battlefield in his younger years. The scars on his arms now made sense that Mr. Darcy was no idle gentleman and she prayed that he would never in danger again. Unsure if she could reveal what she knew to her father yet, she could only blow out a breath and remain silent for several moments, as Elizabeth questioned if Mr. Darcy would continue his services in the military and what lay in her future as his wife.

  “I believe you will gain more answers tomorrow and I have a feeling Mr. Darcy will be the one to provide much to you. I shall not ruin any surprises and will rest now, papa, since I awoke too early this morning and have much to take in. I cannot believe I have been engaged less than one day, and am quite overwhelmed with all of the changes coming my way.” She stood and kissed her father’s head again. “Thank you for your care, papa. I truly love my family and will take care of all of you within my power.”

  She headed up the stairs to her room and sat at her writing table. There was much to put into her diary and she hoped that her journal’s Anne, if she were related to the Darcys somehow, would be happy with her engagement.

  Chapter 20

  The next morning arrived, and with eager anticipation, Elizabeth awaited her guests to arrive in an hour or two, unwilling to leave her home for errands or to make calls to her neighbours in case the Darcys turned up early. Considering that it was a four-hour ride from London to Longbourn, Elizabeth estimated that Mr. Darcy would arrive sometime after luncheon, perhaps in the late afternoon, but was pleasantly surprised when the familiar carriage was heard outside a little after ten o’clock.

  Elizabeth stood outside and waited, but unable to restrain herself when she saw Georgiana Darcy exit the carriage, she ran to her young friend and embraced her. “You have grown taller, Georgie! And oh, so pretty!” The girls stepped aside as the footman returned to the door to assist someone else from the carriage. Elizabeth gasped to see Mr. Darcy dressed in full military garb as he disembarked slowly, using his walking stick to steady himself as he stood tall. He took off his hat and bowed formally to Elizabeth with a soft smile.

  “I am here on official business and will need to head straight to Derbyshire so please forgive my appearance.” He softly commented as he lifted up his betrothed’s hand and kissed it. He stood upright to face the rest of the Bennets who were standing by the front door with absolute shock on their faces. “I must beg your forgiveness for our early arrival, Mr. Bennet, Mrs. Bennet, ladies, since my sister and I prepared before dawn with eagerness to see you all. I deeply apologise but time is of the essence and I would like a private audience with you now, sir, as I only have an hour before I must depart.”

  Mr. Bennet finally came out of his astonishment, “What has happened to you? You look very ill. You are the brigadier? How can you be an officer? You are a landowner and cannot serve in the army!”

  Mr. Darcy chuckled, “Miss Elizabeth asked the same; she certainly has your intelligence. Please, if we can discuss inside, I am recovering from a previous injury and will explain as much as able.”

  The two gentlemen closeted themselves in the study while the ladies proceeded to the parlour. Lydia leaned over towards Elizabeth and whispered, “An officer! He is so handsome when he smiles, Lizzy! If you change your mind about marrying him, I will certainly take him. He is a fine specimen!”

  Elizabeth laughed in response, “He is mine, Lydia, and even if he were not an officer, I would marry him in a heartbeat. I hope you will marry only for the deepest of affections like both Jane and I!”

  Lydia beamed and hurried to make Georgiana’s acquaintance, who had been speaking with Jane, and remarked on her dress and the designs of the bonnet and how wonderful it was to finally meet her in person after hearing much from her sister. Elizabeth sat down next to Georgiana, holding her hand and smiling tenderly at the sweet girl who would be her own sister soon, should all go according to plan.

  After the other girls settled and spoke with each other about the events in Meryton, Elizabeth quietly commented to Miss Darcy, “I hope you are pleased for us, Georgie. I never thought I would gain you as my sister, although I have always thought of you as one and wished for it if Mr. Darcy might have found Jane interesting after you and I first met. But I found your brother fascinating since meeting him and could not admit it to myself that I had feelings other than discontentment and anger towards him until only recently. I will never be able to fill your mother’s shoes but I will do my best to be a good sister to you.”

  Georgiana immediately embraced her and responded, “I am so
happy, Lizzy! I thought I might lose Fitzwilliam when he was hurt but then he received your letter and told me that he had fallen for you when he made your acquaintance at Netherfield and that he was determined to heal so that he could return to your side. You saved him, Lizzy. You saved both of us several times over and I could not ask for a better sister.”

  Elizabeth smiled brightly and they continued to converse for half an hour. She became concerned that it was taking a very long time for her father to give his approval to Mr. Darcy and began to fret, and it was nearly forty minutes later that Mr. Darcy walked in with an impassive expression to join them in the parlour. Elizabeth panicked that perhaps her father did not find her suitor worthy and refused his consent, but when Mr. Bennet entered behind the tall gentleman, he was beaming and made an announcement to everyone.

  “I have given Brigadier Darcy my approval to marry Lizzy and he will become our family as soon as his businesses are completed.” He proudly exclaimed. “There was more to the story than expected and I apologise for the lengthy absence. Lizzy,” he looked fondly at his daughter, “you may go outside with your betrothed until he must depart. You have a quarter hour to spend with your excellent young man.”

  Elizabeth blushed at the private time approved by her father but stood up and walked outside to speak with her betrothed. She began nervously, “I was worried that perhaps my father would refuse you, William. I told him that you were the best of men but when I saw you enter the parlour with your usual stoic expression, I thought you might withdraw your proposal.”

  Mr. Darcy rubbed her hand on his arm, “I typically do not exhibit my emotions and am not in the habit of being excitable in public, Elizabeth, but I am more than thrilled to be marrying you. We had a long discussion about my family history and my current position under the Secretary at War and it took longer than I wished but I am very happy to be your betrothed.”

  He calmly guided her behind a large tree and carefully placed his cane next to the trunk with composure and then cradled Elizabeth’s cheeks as he drew her close to his body. Leaning down his head to slowly meet her lips, he kissed her gingerly as she relaxed in his arms, then began to open her mouth to ravage her with his tongue to delve deep into her and caressed her back and hips as his ardency increased. He lifted her up to her tiptoes to place her back against the tree and held her in his arms as he gripped her tightly and made love to her mouth. His lips drew down to her jaw and neck and he moaned softly as Elizabeth’s fingers stroked his hair.

  “I am afraid I might make you my wife now if we do not stop.” He breathed out. “You are so tempting and I cannot believe we will be wed. I love you with all my heart, Elizabeth. I will return as soon as possible; I know not how I will survive without your kisses. I am desperate for you.”

  Elizabeth had never imagined Mr. Darcy to be so passionate and he had made her feel more alive than ever before. “I never felt... I did not know...” She moaned as his arms released her to place her feet fully on the ground and he ran his hands on her sides, perilously close to her breasts and she felt faint. “It feels so good, William.”

  Mr. Darcy abruptly released his hands from her torso and kissed her lips gently once more before stepping back. “I will be unfit to be seen if I do not calm, my love. I have never lost control before but you make me senseless with your generosity. Thank you for loving me, Elizabeth. Thank you for agreeing to be my wife.”

  He reached for his cane and used it to bend down on one knee to the ground. Pulling out a ring from his pocket, he spoke affectionately, “I love you, Elizabeth Bennet. This was my mother’s ring and she received it from my grandmother who was given it from her grandmother. Once we are married, I also have a necklace to present to you which has been passed down for many generations, but this ring belonged to Queen Elizabeth and was rumoured to be her favourite.” He slid a beautiful gold filigree ring with a large square emerald in the centre onto her finger and kissed her hand. “There is a portrait of the Queen by Nicolas Hilliard that shows this ring from 1585 and it is yours now. My family has connections to royalty but it means everything to me that you, the queen of my heart, are wearing this ring and will be my wife, even if our engagement will need to be kept secret for now.” He stood with some difficulty and embraced her again. “I must go. I do not wish to leave you but the quicker I complete my assignment, the sooner I will be able to return and become your husband. I am sorry we did not have time for more conversation, my loveliest, dearest Elizabeth, and I have yet more to reveal to you about our future together and to explain the wrongs you believe me to have committed, but we will have time later and it can wait.” He kissed her forehead. “Our time was much better spent, I hope you will agree.”

  Elizabeth smiled and nodded. “I will miss you, William, but I look forward to hearing from you. Please write to me if you can, but know that I will think of you every moment until you return to me. Please return to me and be well, my love.” She wiped the tears which began to fall. “I would not know what to do without you now. You are forever in my heart.”

  “I love you. I keep your letter and shoelace with me and am always reminded of your care.” Mr. Darcy replied tenderly before they returned to the group inside the house. After bidding his farewells to his sister and the Bennets, he boarded his carriage to return to London, leaving four plain-clothed officers to guard his sister and betrothed, and waved to his favourite ladies from the carriage with a soft smile.

  ~*~

  Elizabeth gathered Georgiana’s arm as they returned indoors. “Your brother is a true hero to our country and I am immensely proud to call him my betrothed; but I also wish he will never wear that uniform again, Georgie, since he is far too dashing and any ladies who see such a sight will certainly swoon at his gallantry. I had thought him the handsomest gentleman of my acquaintance but now, he is the handsomest officer in my sight as well.” She sighed, “I shall miss him very much and pray he returns to us quickly.”

  “He will, Lizzy. He was determined to get out of bed even after the Royal Doctors told him that he might never have use of his leg again, but after he received your letter, I had never seen him so set to stand up and walk. He is fully prepared to retire to be blissfully married to you.” Georgiana sweetly comforted her future sister.

  Elizabeth furrowed her brows, “Royal Doctors? Georgie, exactly where in Berkshire were you?”

  “Oh!” Georgiana exclaimed, “Did Fitzwilliam not tell you? We were at Windsor Castle with the Prince Regent. We did not see the King at all but the Royal Doctors looked over my brother, but Fitzwilliam preferred our personal physician from town and I was there for three months during his recovery.”

  Elizabeth nearly fainted, “The Prince Regent?! Oh, my dear Georgie, what insane world am I marrying into? You have met the Prince Regent?”

  Georgiana laughed, “My brother has many friends and although the Prince is quite portly and a bit impractical in his views of life, His Royal Highness was very concerned for Fitzwilliam’s recovery and approved of anything he desired. My brother was threatened with an earldom but he does not want it. He cannot refuse the Prince but I am certain William will find his peace soon.”

  Elizabeth froze in her steps with her jaw dropping, “I am in such shock that I will need a moment, Georgie. I know not how to be a wife to such a man of connections and I must contemplate my own future, since I only thought him too proud and full of vanity, and yet he has every right to order everyone about and I cannot imagine marrying into his station.”

  “But he is never like that with me and has the highest respect for you, Lizzy,” Georgiana anxiously replied, “and he has never been at the whim of anyone as he is with you. He might be proud but it is because he has carried a heavy burden by himself for so many years. With you by his side, he will not have to be alone and you can help him. Please promise me that you will not break the betrothal. He would die if he lost you.” She began to cry.

  “Oh, Georgie, I did not mean to distress you.” Elizabeth rub
bed her friend’s back. “I love him too much to let him go. As much as I would have accepted him if he were a penniless soldier and we only had my 40 or 50 a year to live on, I will accept him with all of his pride and responsibilities that come with his rank. He has a generous nature and I discovered that he is not vain; he has no improper pride and is perfectly amiable. He loves me and I love him and I would be a fool to lose his love. I only wish to be worthy of him since you know very well that I am a hoyden at heart. There is much for me to learn.”

  Georgiana finally smiled, “I will help you. Mrs. Annesley is to arrive here in two days after she completes her holiday with her daughter who recently had a baby, and she will be able to help us both, since she was once a governess to a daughter of a marchioness and knows all the customs the highest circles. I have learned much from her and she is wonderful.”

  “Thank you, Georgie.” Elizabeth embraced her, “I will speak with my father for a while but will see you shortly for luncheon. I am most pleased to have you here with us.”

  Georgiana happily left to sit with Mary, who was practicing on the pianoforte and desired to play together. Elizabeth loved seeing the young girl’s liveliness with several ladies near her age and knew she would be safe in the Bennet household.

  ~*~

  Elizabeth enthusiastically wrote in her journal of the formal engagement and cheerfully described her delight in planning a life with Mr. Darcy. She had been shocked when her father revealed Mr. Darcy’s intentions for her large settlement and that his solicitor was working on the document already, and Mr. Bennet beamed proudly that Elizabeth would be made very comfortable, far exceeding Jane’s marriage to Mr. Bingley next month. Her mother fussed that Lizzy’s wedding would have to exceed Jane’s due to Mr. Darcy’s status and that every accommodation would need to be made to keep the earl and countess satisfied.

  Elizabeth cared naught for any fortune or even comfort, but fervently prayed for Mr. Darcy’s safe return after George Wickham was captured. In order to keep Georgiana safe in Hertfordshire, it was agreed that her visit would be concealed and she would be introduced as Anna Smith from York who had relatives in trade. Mr. Darcy abhorred the idea of any disguises but given that his sister and Elizabeth’s protection was of priority, he had requested Mr. Bennet to keep all personal information private. Elizabeth’s father also met with Mr. Bingley alone to inform him of Miss Darcy’s arrival in the neighbourhood and of Elizabeth’s betrothal, and Mr. Bingley, under the threat of treason, forced his sisters to promise to keep Miss Darcy’s identity a secret. He had had no idea of Mr. Darcy’s injury and had been shocked that his friend had been near death, but Mr. Bingley was extremely relieved to hear of the recovery and that they would become brothers in the future. Elizabeth’s betrothal was to be announced later to the public and only known by the Bennet family and Mr. Bingley at this time. There was still hope that Elizabeth might marry alongside her sister in April in five weeks but nothing was certain and all they could do was to wait.