The Diary: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Kate Speck

  A week after Georgiana’s arrival to Longbourn, letters were delivered from Mr. Darcy, one to Elizabeth and another to his sister, that Wickham had been traced to Derbyshire and that they were pursuing him guardedly after another assassination details were unearthed and Wickham was also in the thick of this conspiracy. Mr. Darcy wrote few words of affection but Elizabeth knew how much he had given to reveal even that much and cherished his letter.

  Chapter 21

  The evening before Jane’s wedding, Elizabeth’s nerves were completely frayed and she had difficulty sitting still for more than a few seconds at a time. Georgiana had enjoyed her stay with the Bennets for a month and even Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley were much improved, but not having heard anything from Mr. Darcy in weeks, she fretted that something might be wrong, and the officers who had been guarding them had no new orders, other than to continue their protection.

  Elizabeth scribbled frantically on her journal, begging for Anne’s help, when the ink began to swirl and at long last, wrote back to her.

  He is well. He is on a secret mission and will return to you in a week. Be at peace, Elizabeth.

  The writing disappeared once again and Elizabeth breathed a sigh of relief. Not knowing where Mr. Darcy was, not having received a word from him in a month, she had been feeling distressed, but having Anne comfort her, now understanding that he was on a secret mission and could not write to her, she felt more at ease and was willing to be patient for one more week.

  “Jane,” she spoke to the bride-to-be that night, “who will be standing up with Charles tomorrow? I know he had been waiting for Mr. Darcy to return but it seems he will need someone else.”

  Jane replied, “He is still hoping for Mr. Darcy to arrive even as late as tomorrow morning, but he will have Mr. Lucas stand up with him if needed. Charles has told me how shocked he had been to be told of Mr. Darcy’s injury and had no idea he had been so ill until Colonel Fitzwilliam wrote him well after he returned to Netherfield. It had been kept hidden from everyone but family until Mr. Darcy could venture to Kent to propose to you, Lizzy. Charles prefers Mr. Darcy and is very pleased to gain him as a brother but he has also made friends here and Mr. Lucas will be quite excited to have you walk with him.” She winked. “He has been chasing you since you were fifteen years old.”

  Elizabeth rolled her eyes, “Edmund Lucas is perfectly capable of finding himself a wife but I do not know why he believes I will marry him. He is a spoiled young man and too dim-witted for me to ever consider him, and Mrs. Long’s nieces were disappointed that he never looked at either of them.”

  “Your being Charlotte’s friend since he was a lad,” Jane commented, “Edmund always believed he would marry you and when you came out into society, he was certain he would sweep you off your feet but failed miserably. How many times has he proposed now?”

  “Seven,” Elizabeth laughed, “but I am now contentedly betrothed to the best man I know and I only wish I could make the engagement public so Edmund looks elsewhere. But I will do my duty to stand with you tomorrow. I cannot believe it, Janey,” she sighed. “You will be married and be gone from Longbourn and I shall miss you dearly.”

  Jane rubbed her sister’s back as she hugged her, “Well, you have Georgiana with you and Mr. Darcy will return soon, and I will ensure your wedding will not be as chaotic as mine. Mama has outdone herself but at least we have been able to curtail her to my satisfaction.”

  Elizabeth nodded and they spoke under the covers for several hours longer, enjoying their last moments together in the same household before Jane would belong to someone else the next morning.

  ~*~

  Jane stood in front of the altar with Mr. Bingley and shined as the most beautiful bride that her mother envisioned. Mrs. Bennet declared that Elizabeth was nearly as pretty next to her elder sister and when she and Mr. Lucas completed their duties to stand up with the couple, their neighbours excitedly announced that the second Bennet daughter would be next to marry the neighbour who had waited for her for over five years.

  Elizabeth only shook her head in amusement and enjoyed her time at the festivities at Netherfield, whispering with Georgiana that Mr. Robinson was going to be proposing to Miss Bingley and that her acceptance was expected, as she had failed to capture a suitor in London and was becoming desperate enough to marry the much-older gentleman with £2,000 a year.

  The girls were giggling and dreaming of their future weddings when Mr. Lucas approached them and coughed to interrupt their conversation.

  “Miss Lizz...” He smiled, “I suppose I should call you Miss Bennet now. May I have a moment of your time? I thought you might like a stroll in the gardens for a while.”

  Elizabeth glanced at her future sister and whispered, “I might as well get this over with. I will have to be firm with him for the last time so there is no misunderstanding whatsoever.” She winked then stood up to walk outside with the gentleman.

  Mr. Lucas took a deep breath as they took a turn about the garden and began, “Lizzy, I know that it had always been a dream of yours to marry alongside your sister and if you had accepted me after you returned from Charlotte’s new home in Hunsford, we would have been married today. Could you not change your mind now to marry me? I know that idiotic Mr. Collins proposed to you before my sister and I took it as a sign that you might accept me if I gave you some time but I am most eager to make you my wife.”

  “Edmund,” Elizabeth frowned, “I have declined you several times already and I know in my heart that you and I are not meant to be. We have been good friends but you had teased me for years that I was a bluestocking and that books were only for dull gentlemen who had nothing better to do. You can be a good husband to any lady but you are not the one for me.”

  “I can try to read more if that is what you wish, Lizzy!” He defensively responded. “I enjoy hunting best and watching a good horse race whenever I am in town, but I have no desire to be an insipid gentleman in the country right now and Father promised me a lease in London so that I can live in a townhouse with my wife before I take over the estate. You have always wished to venture out of Hertfordshire and I can take you away. Did we not tell each other of our fondest wish to find adventures in life and to travel to see the world? Although I do not have a large income, I can take you to London to see places you only read about. I love you and you are the only one for me, Lizzy. I thought you would jump at the chance to marry me but you have turned me down time and time again and I do not understand why you cannot accept me. If you want me to be more scholarly, I can try to read more. I swear I will try to understand all of your Shakespeare and Wordsmith or whatever books you like.”

  “You have said that before and it lasted ten minutes before you fell asleep and then soon left for London to seek other enjoyments!” Elizabeth laughed. “Charlotte and I have been attempting to teach you how to become a thoughtful gentleman but you did not have the patience for it, only to retreat to your drinking habits and we caught you with that... that milkmaid, remember?” She shook her head in disappointment. “I know full well of your vices and I cannot marry anyone I cannot respect. Even if it were common behaviours of a young man to gamble and imbibe and find entertainment with other women, that is not the life that I want and you would tire of me quickly.”

  Mr. Lucas argued, “I would not! Even if I have my fun, I always come back to you, do I not? I want a wonderful wife who will care for me and my future home, to have a houseful of children, and you are perfect to be my wife, even if you must get your head out of the clouds with all that reading and nonsense. You have no dowry and have little chance of marrying better, and your best choice is to accept me to become the future mistress of Lucas Lodge. Marry me and I will overlook your impertinence as long as you do your best to keep me happy.”

  Elizabeth snarled, “I have no desire to change myself for anyone and I would rather die than be a demure wife to bend to a man who does not love me as I am, Edmund. Why me? Why not Hester or Matilda Long? Mary King i
s rumoured to receive a large inheritance and she might accept you. Why me?”

  “Because you are more fun and prettier, Lizzy!” Mr. Lucas laughed, “I would like to be able to face the woman I want to bed and you are...” he drew closer and took a deep breath to continue, “Your mother thinks Jane to be so pretty but you carry a wondrous mystery beneath that dress of yours and I would constantly keep you in a pregnant state. This dress is very fine and you are the prettiest I have seen yet.”

  She stepped back and responded, “Your lust does not flatter me, Mr. Lucas. I rarely cared for my appearances and I despised looking at ribbons and laces, and I never attempted to appear pretty above being intelligent. I would love a man who would love me whether I was dressed in burlap or covered in mud.” She smiled to herself as she recalled meeting Mr. Darcy after falling down in Netherfield’s muddy lands. She took a calming breath. “I cannot marry you because my heart has been captured and I will never marry but for the deepest of affections. We were childhood friends and nothing more, Mr. Lucas, and that is all there is to it. I never considered you as a husband and you must find someone else, as I will never marry you.”

  Mr. Lucas growled in jealousy, “Who is this man you love? I heard you danced with a gentleman, Mr. Dancy or Drabby or something at the Netherfield Ball but there was no attachment and he is gone. I wish I had been here to claim all your dances and then everyone would have known that you are mine. Who is the man? I am going to challenge him to a duel to win your heart, Lizzy.”

  Elizabeth laughed loudly, “I think not! He is likely to beat you soundly in minutes and kill you if you challenged him. You have no right over me and my father will have you banned from ever calling on us again if you are so foolish to think you can claim me.” She quirked her eyebrows in amusement and laughed again.

  “Well, you leave me no choice, then, Lizzy,” he spoke with determination in his eyes, “I will compromise you so that you are required to marry me. I am tired of waiting for you and I always get what I want. I want you, Lizzy, and you will want me, too!” He leaned forward to try to kiss her but she jumped backwards and held out both of her hands to stop the rogue’s attack, prepared to fight tooth and nail if her protector should not intervene in time.

  “I would not do that if I were you.” She warned him, as a man popped up in front of her from out of nowhere with a large sabre drawn out.

  “STEP BACK!” the officer in gentleman’s garb shouted. “She is under the protection of His Majesty’s Army and you will step back!”

  Mr. Lucas froze in fear with the tip of the sword pointed at his nose. “What the bloody hell is this? Why would you be under the army’s protection? I do not understand.”

  Elizabeth gingerly stood beside the officer and nodded her head at her guard, and he lowered his sabre but did not put it away into its sheath. “He is one of my personal guards to protect me as commanded by my gentleman friend. I told you the truth that my heart was captured and if you dare to lay a finger on my person, Mr. Jameson will kill you and it will be considered justified. Miss Smith is protected also and I warn you for the last time to forget about me. I will not make this public for the sake of your family, as I adore Charlotte and your parents are good friends to my parents. Go and find a wife who will accept you as you are.”

  “Who the hell is your friend and why in the world is Miss Smith guarded?” Mr. Lucas furrowed his brows in puzzlement. “Rumour is that she is a natural child of a knight or a baronet and is a nobody. Who is your gentleman friend?”

  “It is none of your business but I will tell you once and for all that you do not want to be anywhere near him when he returns. Mr. Jameson here,” she nodded at the officer again, “will report this to his superior and your life might be in grave danger. Go home, Mr. Lucas. Your father might send you away to stay in London for longer next time and I have no wish to see you again.” She turned and walked back to Netherfield to join her family while Mr. Lucas ran off in fear after Mr. Jameson lifted up his sword again and growled loudly.

  ~*~

  “Is all well?” Mary asked as Kitty and Lydia surrounded Elizabeth along with Georgiana by their sides as soon as she returned inside. “We saw you walking out with Mr. Lucas and it took a long time for you to return.”

  Elizabeth smiled affectionately at her sisters, “All is well, Mary. Thank you for checking on me. Mr. Lucas proposed again but his intentions were dishonourable this time and Mr. Jameson had to intervene, but I believe the young man will never bother me again.”

  “Ooh, that Edmund Lucas!” Lydia fumed. “He has been told so many times to leave you alone but he does not get the hint! He is a frequent drunkard and will only have £1,000 a year and even mama did not want any of us to marry him.”

  “He has learned his lesson today, I am certain,” Elizabeth smoothly replied. “Wait until Mr. Darcy finds out that he tried to compromise me today.”

  “OOOHHH...” Lydia’s eyes were broad, “He is going to kill him! How romantic, Lizzy, that they will have a duel and your betrothed will fight for your honour. Mr. Lucas will not last a minute.”

  Elizabeth covered her laughter, “I am in agreement, but we cannot say anything. I let it slip of Georgie and my protection under the Army and nearly spoke of my engagement but the foolish man now knows that I have a gentleman friend.” She rubbed her emerald ring on her chest which she wore on a necklace to keep it hidden under her dress. “We have only a week until Mr. Darcy returns.”

  “Have you heard from him, Lizzy?!” Georgiana excitedly enquired. “I received no letter recently and did not hear when he will return.”

  “No, Georgie,” Elizabeth blushed, “I just know that he will come back to us soon. Now, let us go and save Jane, my dear sisters and sister-to-be. Mama is taking away her plate again and she will faint from not eating anything for the last full month!”

  The girls laughed and went to distract Mrs. Bennet so that Jane could enjoy the wedding breakfast by consuming it and not just smelling all of the delicious foods.

  Chapter 22

  The next week slowly creeped by while Elizabeth awaited Mr. Darcy’s return to Hertfordshire. He had been gone over five weeks and although loving Georgiana’s company and learning about Pemberley and the Darcy family history, she had wished to see Mr. Darcy in person to know that he was indeed safe.

  She chronicled her day in her journal before bed and was about to write the last sentence when the black ink swirled and disappeared. Turning around to see Georgiana fast asleep in bed, Elizabeth returned her sights to the diary and saw the words appear to communicate with her once again.

  Do not be afraid tomorrow.

  Elizabeth scratched her head and wrote, Afraid of what, Anne? What will happen? Will Mr. Darcy return tomorrow?

  The diary remained unmoved and Elizabeth took a deep breath. She had become accustomed to Anne’s enigmatic communications and knew that she would offer nothing else.

  With determination to be brave the next day, she went to bed and blew out her candle to dream of Mr. Darcy’s heated kisses once again.

  ~*~

  As customary, Elizabeth walked towards Oakham Mount the next morning at sunrise to take in her daily exercise and to enjoy the view of her home county. She most-heartily wished for travel and adventure in new and exciting places but never took for granted the beauty of Hertfordshire's rolling hills where she grew up. She hoped after her marriage to Mr. Darcy, that although living three-day’s journey away in the north, that she would be able to visit her family here often, and even if Longbourn would belong to the Collinses after her father’s passing, that she would have a reason to return to this part of the country if Jane should reside elsewhere once Netherfield’s lease ended.

  She knew that she would have had that wish come true if she had married Mr. Lucas to live in London then return to Lucas Lodge after some time, as he had been proposing since she was fifteen years old and had given her numerous empty promises in the past. But she was able to see early that h
e was a thoughtless, lackadaisical young man, who cared only for immediate gratifications to desire a pretty wife on his arm. Elizabeth knew that once the newness of the marriage faded, all his vows would be broken and Mr. Lucas would turn to other women, and her life as his wife would have been a dreary and hopeless one.

  She was lost in thought as to how Mr. Darcy had treated her so far and of her future with him, when she heard a twig break at a close distance. She rapidly turned around to find Edmund Lucas standing only a few feet away, sipping from his flask and sighing deeply.

  “What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay away from me.” Elizabeth glowered at the foolish man. She turned away and began to walk back home when Mr. Lucas rushed towards her to grab her arm and roughly pulled her closer to him.

  “Damn it, Lizzy! I only want to talk to you. You avoided me for a week after that Jameson fellow tried to scare me off but I have been following you wherever you go, and even though you have someone watching you all the time, I finally saw your guard running off towards something this morning and have my chance to get near you. I only wanted to see you and make you understand why I want to marry you. I love you, can you not see?” He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her tightly, trapping her in his embrace, “Let me show you how much I want you. If you only give yourself to me, you will see that you were meant for me.”