18
Vivian
I slammed the door shut behind me when I walked into my apartment, and there was a skip in my step now. Nora was on the couch again, watching TV. She was back from work early today.
“How did it go?” she asked, sitting up.
I threw my bag on the floor and clapped my hands together with excitement. I’d been dying to tell someone.
“Oh my God! It was so good. This actually, for the first time, felt like a real professional shoot and it was amazing!”
Nora jumped up and we hugged tightly. I knew she was genuinely happy for me, like I would have been with any of her success.
“So, this is all good…this is great!” she exclaimed. I couldn’t stop nodding my head. I had no way to describe this feeling to her, of feeling this relieved.
“And and and! I’ve got an audition set up for next week now. They loved me at this shoot!”
Nora was squealing with excitement again and we were hugging once more. I couldn’t stop laughing and Nora couldn’t stop jumping up and down.
For the first time in eight months, I didn’t have to worry about money or making rent. In fact, this was probably the first time in my life that I did not have to worry about my future. About chasing my dreams.
Maybe there was an actual chance now for making it all come true!
Eventually, I sat down with a thump on the couch, rubbing my temples with my fingers. I was getting a headache just from the excitement of it all! Nothing had ever felt this good before. I had never felt this accomplished before!
I was beaming at Nora while she offered to open up a bottle of wine she’d been saving for a special occasion.
She continued to talk excitedly and even though I was smiling at her, I was thinking about other things—about how the past few days had completely changed my life.
Of course, even now, even a week after the last time I saw Cash, I was still waking up in bed every morning to thoughts of him—the only thing I could hope for now was that in a few more weeks; those thoughts of him would fade and things would return to normal.
I was hoping that the prospect of a successful career would make all the difference. This was my time to shine. I was finally going to achieve what I’d set my heart and soul on…and I wasn’t going to let something like my feelings for a man who didn’t care about me stand in the way!
Nora handed me the glass of wine and I smiled at her widely.
If I was lucky, I would never have to see Cash again. This was it. This was the beginning of a new life and a promising new career and Cash didn’t belong in it.
19
Cash
More than a week had gone by since I last saw Vivian. I was counting. It was ten days.
Even though I had predicted everything to go wrong in these past days, everything seemed to be in its place instead. As it turned out; I was panicking for no reason. Or that was what everyone else in the club thought.
We knew that the Sons of Satan were not pleased about the act of vengeance on their warehouse, but according to intel on the street—they weren’t exactly planning on retaliation now either. Maybe they were just sitting around, biding their time for the perfect opportunity. Or maybe they were going to let this drop before any more damage was done to either side.
Whatever the reason was, the Sons of Satan had been quiet since our shootout at the warehouse. While the rest of my brothers, including Patch were not worried about this deafening silence…I couldn’t help but wonder what these assholes were hiding up their sleeves.
I was trying to relax and continue with life, but I was constantly on tenterhooks, walking on eggshells, looking over my shoulder. I knew they were going to do something at some point. We had caused too much damage to their property for them to just let it go.
Now, ten days later, I was sitting alone in a random bar on the other side of town. I didn’t know how I’d landed up here. Maybe it was because I was trying to get away from the rest of my club. I was glad everyone was safe and there had been no more violence, but I couldn’t keep celebrating with them. At the same time, I didn’t want to bring them down with my glum mood either.
So, I had decided that the best thing for me to do would be to drink by myself, somewhere far from the clubhouse.
Besides, these quiet nights drinking by myself gave me a chance to think about Vivian. She was always on my mind. She was always going to be on my mind. Ten days later and she was still there. I could picture her perfectly, her long silky dark hair swinging behind her, her brown eyes glittering as she looked at me, her tight delicious pussy and how amazing it felt to be inside her.
If there was one thing I could have asked for right now, it would be to see her again. Just a glimpse of her. It wasn’t just about the sex. I just wanted to know she was doing okay. But she was clearly better off without me. That was obviously why she never returned to the bar. No matter how much I wanted to see her, I was forcing myself to stay away. She didn’t deserve the world of violence that came along with me and with being associated to the club. It wasn’t what she wanted.
So, all I could realistically do was sit alone here in this nameless bar, and order drink after drink and fantasize about her. Vivian was nothing like Laura. I was never going to get over her. Fuck me.
* * *
A man with a ginger beard came up and sat down beside me at the counter, pulling his bar stool up close. I could see the tattoos peeking out from under his shirt sleeve when he moved his arm.
I had enough whiskies in me to not feel like I was in complete control of my senses, but I knew where my weapon was. Besides, I tried to remind myself I was letting my imagination run wild. This guy probably had nothing to do with the Sons of Satan or any other club.
“Drinkin’ alone?” he said, after he’d ordered himself a beer.
Not only was I suspicious of him, but I wasn’t in the mood to start a conversation with anyone either. I swung my head around to look at him blankly.
“What does it look like?” I growled and shifted in my stool while the guy smiled toothily.
“A woman got you down?” he continued, and I could just about strangle him for refusing to leave me alone.
“What do you fucking want?” I growled again, hoping that would be enough to make him go away.
“Nothing from you. There are some things I want from Vivian Aldren though,” he said, and her name sounded like a loud beating drum in my ear now. I whipped around to him fully and saw how wide he was smiling.
“What did you fucking say?” I stood up from my stool, narrowing my eyes threateningly at him.
“Vivian, you know the sweet little brunette you people over there are obsessing over,” he continued, and he didn’t seem like he was in a hurry at all.
I looked around the busy bar which was filled with well-dressed young people. This guy with the ginger beard and I definitely stood out here like two sore thumbs. No way was this a chance encounter. I had been followed.
“You one of the Sons of Satan? Here to threaten me? Is that it?” I banged the glass of whisky down on the counter and glared at him, while he continued to smirk. This was neutral territory, neither of us were about to pull out our weapons here without backup.
“Nobody is threatening you, Cash. I just wanted to drop in here and give you a message for Vivian. In case you speak to her again. You know? Just to make her aware that we’re going to be watching that sweet little thing very closely.”
I stepped up even closer to him, forcing him to stand up from his stool.
“We weren’t just going to let this go, right? You knew better than that. But we’re willing to change the game. All this started with her. And it’s only fair that it should end with her too. Don’t you think, Cash?”
I could feel the rage pulsating under my veins now as I glared at him, but he wasn’t going to wait for an answer from me. He just turned around and walked away. I watched him weaving through the crowd and making his way out of the bar. Motherfuc
ker.
* * *
My first instinct of course was to follow the man out of the bar and beat his skull to the pavement. How dare he threaten Vivian? How dare he even take her name? He followed me! The Sons of Satan were watching my every fucking move!
But I didn’t follow him out. Instead, I got in my bike and rode over to Vivian’s apartment building as fast as I could.
It was late at night now as I jumped off my bike. I looked up at the building and tried to locate her apartment. Some lights were switched on and the curtains were pulled open in the room that I guessed had to be Vivian’s.
I was considering going up to check in on her. What was I even going to say? Just knock on her door and ask her if she was doing alright? After ignoring her for ten days? When she clearly wanted me to stay away from her?
But what other choice did I have? The Sons of Satan had clearly made an open threat against her. And they were capable of anything. She was never going to be completely safe now, not until I figured this shit out with them.
I was about to walk into the building when I saw a shadow appear at the window. I stopped in my tracks, looking up as the form became clearer.
It was Vivian. She was standing at the window looking out into the distance. She had a glass of wine in her hand it seemed.
I moved into the shadows, standing in the dark as I stared up at her, hoping she didn’t see me. I didn’t want to spook her.
Seeing her, standing safely at the window and looking well was a relief. She was fine. Nothing had happened to her. I looked around to make sure she was not being watched—well, by nobody other than me of course.
It was strange just staring up at her like that, knowing she had no idea I was right there, keeping an eye on her. But what other choice did I have? I wanted to avoid another war with the Sons of Satan, which meant that I couldn’t tell my club yet. Not if I could avoid telling them.
So, the only thing for me to do was to watch her, for as long as it took, just to make sure she was always going to be safe.
And if I could help it, I wouldn’t want her to find out about it either. Vivian had no reason to know that her life was different in any way. I wanted her to be happy and carry on living the life she wanted to lead.
20
Vivian
Now that I had some work coming in, it also meant that I didn’t have to worry about money constantly. Of course, I was yet to completely be steady on my feet, but I wasn’t counting every penny anymore.
Now, not only could I afford to take the bus everywhere, but I sometimes even took a cab to a job when I was in a rush. Things were beginning to improve for me, and I was happy.
As happy as I could have been considering the fact that I also had Cash on my mind all the time. I was trying to move on with my life the best that I could, in fact, things were going really well for me, but it was impossible to completely focus on my career when I couldn’t stop thinking about a man I couldn’t have.
I was thinking about him now while I was on the bus, heading over to another studio for a new photoshoot gig I’d just been hired for. At times, my hand involuntarily went up to my face when I thought I could feel Cash’s beard on my cheeks. I still remembered every feature of his face when I closed my eyes. Sometimes I imagined his scent all over me—that rich masculine scent of his being. I wanted to be in his arms, even though I knew I would most definitely never see him again.
In the window as I looked out, I saw my own reflection and caught sight of my widened brown eyes. I missed him, even though I barely knew him. All I knew was that when he was around me, I felt comforted and protected—but that was involuntary, it wasn’t because he purposely wanted me to feel that way.
When I blinked, I saw two men staring in my direction. I saw their reflection in the glass, and I had to stop myself from gasping. I whipped my face around to look at them directly. They were big burly looking men, with tattoos and beards and wearing leather jackets. They were bikers.
I recognized that brood of men because of the bar and Cash’s friends who I had briefly interacted with. I didn’t recognize these two in particular and I turned my face around. There was something sinister in their eyes. Something evil. I was sure they were looking at me, watching me.
I felt a shiver run down my spine. Maybe I felt afraid of them because I had been attacked by two men similar to them. Whatever it was, I was uncomfortable. I shifted in my seat, refusing to look at them or at the window. I just wanted them to look away, to stop staring at me. I could hear my own heart thudding in my chest. Somehow, I had convinced myself that these two men were on the bus right now because of me. That they were following me for some reason. Even though I couldn’t think of a single reason why they would.
We arrived at my stop and I was the first one to jump out of my seat. I was running to the doors before the bus had even stopped completely. The doors slid open slowly and I rushed off, my heart still pounding.
I was afraid of turning around, but I did. I glanced over my shoulder and sure enough those two men with the beards were off the bus too. Now I was sure that I was being followed. I had no doubt about it.
The studio was a few minutes away by foot and I started to run. It was the middle of the day and I was in the middle of a busy pavement, and yet, with these two men following me—I might as well have been all alone. I felt like my life was in danger. That they could do something to me any moment.
I was in half a mind to stop someone on the road right now and ask for help. Maybe I could call the cops? My feet were carrying me forward, but I had no idea where I was going anymore. I felt like I couldn’t even think.
And then I looked over my shoulder again, to see how close they had gotten, but they were suddenly gone.
I stopped in my tracks, nearly bumping into someone in front of me. I looked around and I couldn’t see either of the men anywhere, and they were quite easily noticeable.
Had I imagined the whole thing? What was going on? How could they just have disappeared like that?
I looked at my watch then and realized I just had a few minutes to make it to the studio now so I would have to rush. I didn’t have time to stand and think about what could be going on. I needed to keep this job. My career was important.
So, I was running to the studio, trying to forget about the mysterious men on the bus. When I got to the building and just as I was about to enter through the doors; I thought I saw Cash ride by on his roaring bike. That made me stop in my tracks too and I nearly called out to him. I was in shock.
But the biker kept on his way, his back turned to me now and I’d barely been able to catch his face, so I couldn’t be sure.
What was happening to me today? Why was I being this delusional? Seeing Cash here of all places had to have been my imagination. He didn’t even have a reason to be here all the way out in this part of the town.
I just needed to move on with my day and stop thinking about him all the time. That really was the only healthy thing to do but it was easier said than done.
Whatever else was going to happen to me, the one thing I was sure of was that I would never meet a man like him again.
21
Cash
It had been nearly a week since I first started following Vivian everywhere, she went, and thankfully, things had not gotten out of hand yet.
It seemed strange at first, to be watching her all the time when she had no idea. I felt like a creepy stalker—but by the end of the week, it had become second nature to me. This was something that needed to be done to keep Vivian safe and this was the only way I knew how to do it. Knowing she was safe was the only way I could get any sleep at night; not that I was sleeping much to begin with.
As of now, there hadn’t been any imminent threats to her life. The only possible one was an incident on the bus she was using to travel to her place of work. I’d been following the bus and when I saw the two guys get off after her, I decided to take them out.
I wasn’t sure first if the
y were the Sons of Satan, but as they were following her, I grabbed them in the middle of the crowded pavement and dragged them over to a side alley. We were in the middle of a fist fight, punches were knocked out and even though they didn’t admit it, it was obvious they were the men the Sons of Satan had assigned to keep an eye on Vivian.
Before weapons were drawn, I walked away from them, telling them to convey the message to their boss that I was watching them, and that Vivian was never going to be alone. I was always going to be looking out for her.
By the time I returned to my bike and rode over to her studio, Vivian was already safely walking in. Maybe nothing was going to happen to her that day, but I wanted to be on the safe side. Maybe I was overreacting again, taking too much of a precaution for her sake; but I would rather do that than do too little.
It was now a part of my duty to keep her safe. I was responsible for her welfare and I was taking that job very seriously; even though she had no idea about it.
But my time spent in tracking Vivian meant that I couldn’t dedicate as much time to our club anymore. I could sense that some of the men were noticing my absence more and more from the clubhouse, even though I always made it a point to attend Church every time Grimm called for it.
Today, I was sitting at the back, listening to Bones and Rogue talk about the success of their latest drop-off. The gist of this meeting was that our business was going well, there were no imminent threats to the club, and everything seemed to be in order.
I’d taken care not to mention anything about the Sons of Satan or the way they’d threatened Vivian’s life. My club had no clue I was working on the side to keep an eye on Vivian and that was the way I wanted it to stay.
Cash: The Black Cobras MC #2 Page 8