I sure as hell didn’t feel like freezing my ass off tonight in the middle of fall.
I stepped under the hot water and sighed. I leaned against the wall, letting my eyes fall closed. My aching muscles loosened up, and the dirt swirled down the drain. I allowed my mind to wander and to slip into places I didn’t usually entertain.
Like the way Ari’s lips felt against mine.
I groaned as I shifted. My back settled against the shower as I felt her skin against the palm of my hand. My cock throbbed, slowly coming to life as I licked my lips.
“Ari,” I whispered.
Having her in my space was nice, and part of me wondered what it would be like to have her in my bed again. My cock stood on end at the idea of her thick curves gracing my sheets, her arms tangled around me as I slid between her thighs. My hand drifted down my body. My cock jumped as my tip started leaking. Fucking hell, that woman knew how to get me going. And the innocent stare in her eyes just before our kiss made me groan as I stroked my soapy dick.
“Ari,” I grunted.
“That’s it, Simon. Please.”
“Beg for me. I love it when you do that.”
“Oh, yes. Please Simon.”
I tasted her tits on my tongue. Those handfuls of softness that puckered with every stroke of my fingers against her nipples. I felt my dick pulsing against my palm, and I longed for it to be her body, her slick walls clamping down onto me as we both soared into the heavens. I pumped against my hand. I screwed my eyes shut tight and saw her naked body underneath mine. Her eyes rolled back as her legs locked around my waist. I was nineteen again, making love to a girl I never wanted to leave behind. The girl of my dreams, with a warm body, kind eyes, a beautiful laugh, and a touch that ignited a fire in my gut.
“Fuck,” I growled.
My cock thickened. My balls pulled up. My eyes rolled back as stars burst in the darkness. My jaw unhinged as I fucked my palm, needing more friction, needing more of her sounds.
Needing more of her.
“Ari,” I choked out.
Thread after thread of hot arousal shot from my tip. My head fell forward as the wall braced me, keeping me upright. The idea of having Ari again weakened my knees. I felt myself slowly sliding to the shower floor as my dick continued to drain itself. It shot against the shower curtain, marking territory I didn’t give a shit about. My hand cupped my balls, leaving my dick to continue jumping with my orgasm as my ass hit the floor.
A crack of thunder rattled the walls of the cabin, and the power dwindled to nothing, leaving me with only the sound of Ari’s voice echoing off the corners of my mind.
“Oh, Simon. Don’t go.”
So many memories of being between her thighs. So many memories of making her gasp with nothing but my tongue. I licked my lips, eager to taste her there again, eager to feel her curves in the palms of my hands. My eyes fell open, but there was no change. The cabin was pitch-black as the hot water continued to batter against my skin.
I reached up and quickly turned it off, trying to save as much of it as possible.
“I need to get a generator for this place,” I panted.
21
Arianna
“So, when’s he coming by again?”
Petra rubbed my shoulders, and I found myself thankful to have her there.
“He should be here in fifteen minutes,” I said.
“All right. Make sure you clock out beforehand.”
I nodded. “I really appreciate this. Thank you so much.”
She hugged me from behind. “Girl, you don’t have to thank me for letting you off early. You know Thursdays are our slowest days in the cafe. Get this stuff hammered out with Simon, then go get that sweet girl of yours.”
“Girls’ night soon?”
“You better believe it.”
I turned around and gave my best friend a massive hug. I owed her so much. I didn’t know how the hell I’d ever repay her, but I’d do something. My mind had been in so many places lately, and Petra had covered for me so much over the past couple of days that it was a wonder I still had my job. I was relieved when Simon finally got back to me about meeting me here after work today. Because all day yesterday, I hadn’t heard from him. I called him a few times, left him a couple of texts, and after not receiving any sort of an answer, I feared the worst.
Thank heavens, he texted me this morning.
I released Petra and got back to work. With a wry smile on my lips, I watched the clock and wiped down my countertops, trying to organize everything for the closing barista this evening. Making coffees all morning kept my hands busy, but that meant a lot of sloshing around, which meant a lot of cleanup. Which meant I had to kick my ass into gear before—
“Hey there, Ari.”
Simon’s voice sounded behind me, and I froze. I felt my heart leap into my throat. I slowly looked up and found his reflection in the mirror above my head, a randomly placed mirror I always scoffed at before and after work.
“Don’t look so horrified to see me,” he said, chuckling.
I cleared my throat and whipped around. I put on my best smile as I walked up to the register. I clocked out quickly before motioning with my head to step off to the side, and as he followed me, I tried to find my voice.
“Just let me slip out of this apron thing and I’ll be out. Okay?” I asked.
“Listen, about the other day—”
I shook my head. “You never have to justify why you might or might not get back to me.”
“It’s just that things have been—”
“Simon, it really is okay. I shouldn’t have called three times anyway. I should’ve just called once, then left a voice message.”
“Dad’s got cancer,” he blurted.
I blinked. “What?”
He sighed. “My father’s second round of chemo was yesterday, and it was a long day.”
I furrowed my brow. “Tommy’s got cancer?”
He nodded slowly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just…”
“You sure as hell don’t have to apologize for something like that.”
“But I do owe you—”
I reached over, putting my hand on his shoulder. “You owe me nothing, Simon. Give me two minutes and I’ll be around. We can sit and talk about everything wherever you want, okay?”
It didn’t shock me one bit when I found him outside, facing out toward the city, with his back to the coffee shop. I walked over and took a seat beside him. The sun shone above us as a soft, cool breeze filtered through the trees. Hollis seemed quieter today, a bit more somber than usual.
And finally, Simon broke the silence.
“It’s pancreatic,” he said.
I nodded slowly. “How bad?”
“Bad enough that Dad’s preparing.”
“What do you mean ‘preparing’?”
“You know, making sure I’m okay. Making sure his will is up to date. I didn’t even know the man had a will until yesterday.”
I placed my hand on Simon’s forearm. “I’m so sorry.”
“I want you to know this doesn’t change anything. I still want to be an active part in Macy’s life.”
“I know you do.”
“Dad’s chemo appointments are already scheduled out. Other than that, I can work around everything else.”
“How much help does your dad need?” I asked.
“None, according to him. But I’m over there helping when I can. Giving him space when I know he’s strong enough to do it on his own,” he said.
“Is there anything I can do?”
He laughed softly. “You’re too kind for your own good. You know that, right?”
I shrugged. “My life isn’t a complete disaster yet. So, I figure it isn’t a terrible thing.”
“You don’t consider me coming back into your life a complete disaster?”
I paused. “I did at first.”
“And now?”
I found his stare with my own and manag
ed a smile.
“And now, we figure it out.”
He chuckled. “Clever.”
I grinned. “I’m just glad you’re smiling a bit.”
“Me too.”
“How’s Tommy doing with chemo?”
“It’s making him pretty sick pretty quickly. But after that first initial day, he seems to really get his feet underneath him. I stayed with him last night, and I woke up to him making breakfast in the kitchen and humming.”
I nodded. “Humming’s good. It’s important for him to keep his spirits up.”
“So I’ve been told.”
I sat there watching him, taking him in. I felt oddly settled next to him, and I slid my hand down a little further, until my palm sat against his wrist.
“Can we take the focus off me for a bit?” Simon asked.
I smiled. “I got just the way to do that, too.”
“Did Macy pull something fun this morning?”
“No. I mean, she’s always doing that. She’s not a morning kid whatsoever. But my father came by the other day.”
“Oh?”
I nodded. “Yep. And guess what he did?”
“Threatened to set the world on fire if I didn’t leave town?”
I giggled. “No. He apologized.”
He furrowed his brow. “What?”
“Yeah. I had that same reaction. But he apologized. For how he treated you all those years ago. For things he said to me out of pain.”
“I’d rather him apologize to me for what happened all those years ago.”
“I told him, in no uncertain terms, that both you and Tommy deserve an apology for what he pulled.”
“What did he say to that?”
I shrugged. “He said he’d make sure you both got one.”
“How do you feel about all that?”
I sighed. “I’m tired of being angry, Simon. I’m tired of living in the past, of letting it rule my life. I know that one of the reasons why Macy is such an angry kid is because she’s been around so much anger and tension all her life. I tried to give her a good home. Smiles. Laughter. But kids are intuitive. They pick up on more than we realize.”
“Ari, you’ve done a great job with our kid.”
“I never said I hadn’t done a good job. But there are things I could’ve fixed sooner. I could’ve reached out sooner. Told Tommy to contact you. Forced my father to sit down and talk things out.”
“Do you really think that would’ve helped, though?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll never know.”
“But?”
“But I’m glad we’re getting to know now.”
His hand fell over mine. “I’m glad you’re feeling positive about everything.”
I smiled softly. “Yeah. Me too.”
The more I sat there with him, the more comfortable it felt. The more it felt as if things hadn’t changed as much as I figured they had. My heart fluttered in my chest, and the way his thumb slid across my skin filled the marrow of my bones with excitement. I forced my head to swivel and my gaze to focus on something else other than his beautiful face. I couldn’t afford to read into this any more than I already was.
Ask him about the kiss.
“Would it be possible for me to take Macy to school in the mornings?”
Simon’s words pulled me from my trance. “What was that?”
“School. In the mornings. Would it be possible for me to start taking her?”
I blinked. “I, uh… well—”
“I’d really like to be more involved in her daily routine, you know? Not to mess anything up that you have going, but to get to know her as more than just fun play Dad.”
“I appreciate that.”
“I figured I could start taking her to school in the mornings. Field some of the morning arguments. Maybe come over with enough time to do breakfast with her so you could sleep a few more minutes or take a few more minutes to get ready.”
“I’d probably have to give you a key to the house for something like that. Or, at least leave the basement door open so you can—”
“Slide on in?”
I giggled. “Like old times, I suppose.”
He paused. “Wait a second, you guys are living in—?”
I nodded. “Yep, we’re in my father’s house. I mean, he’s not there. He moved out and across town into this little two-bedroom townhouse. Downsizing, or something like that. But I think it was him running from the memories the house still has.”
“Do you like living there?”
“It’s a good roof to have over Macy’s head. Though, I can feel sometimes why my father wanted to move. It’s a bit stifling.”
“I can only imagine.”
“Well, you’ll get to if you want to start picking her up in the mornings.”
He paused. “So, that’s okay with you?”
I nodded. “I think you taking her in the mornings would be a good way to work up toward what’s usually a traditional custody agreement in these kinds of situations.”
“What’s the traditional way?”
“I’m surprised you haven’t looked it up.”
“I’ve had some things on my mind.”
I shook my head. “Tommy. Right. I’m sorry.”
He snickered. “Not just Tommy.”
And when he squeezed my hand, part of me wondered if he was talking about me. That kiss.
Possibly us.
I drew in a sharp breath. “Usually, the mother is the primary parent and the father has the kids every other weekend. Every other week during the summer. And then holidays are negotiated on a year-by-year basis.”
“Is that something you want?”
“I’m not going to lie; I’ve been with Macy day in and day out for the past eight or so years. It’ll be hard for me at first. But I don’t want you to register that as hesitancy. I recognize that having you in our daughter’s life is important. Especially to her.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Maybe for the next week or so, you can pick her up in the mornings. Do the whole breakfast thing. Then, next weekend we can see about her staying a night? Work up to the entire weekend kind of deal?”
“How about this. Every weekend, I can take her for an evening until you get used to that. No whole weekends until you’re ready. If we have dinner once a week at my place to make up for the lack of the second night on the weekends.”
I nodded slowly. “Like a family dinner.”
“Yeah. Like a family dinner. We can do that until you feel comfortable with an entire weekend of her being gone. Then, we can move on from there.”
I nodded. “And we figure out holidays as they come?”
He shrugged. “No other way to do big holidays, I suppose. Even families that are cohesive have to figure them out as they come.”
Relief washed through me. “Deal.”
“Good.”
He squeezed my hand one last time before he stood. He offered me his hand, and I took it, but his touch lingered a little longer than necessary. I stood to my feet and found him very close to me, so close I smelled his aftershave and felt his body heat.
And when I looked up, I found him gazing down at me.
“Ari?”
I cleared my throat. “Yes?”
He paused for what seemed like an eternity before he licked his lips.
“Thank you for this.”
I felt disappointed by his words, but I didn’t know why.
“Of course. You’re her father. She deserves time with you.”
“I’m glad you feel that way. I just hope Macy is cool with our plans.”
“I’m sure any time she gets to spend with you will have her in all smiles.”
And the pride that crept across his face forever seared itself onto my memory.
22
Simon
One week. An entire week of picking Macy up every morning for school, and now she was coming to stay the night. I smiled as I stood on the
porch of the cabin. Part of me wanted to offer to pick Macy up from school so Ari didn’t have to make the drive out here, but I wasn’t sure how she’d feel about that. I didn’t want her feeling as if I was taking her daughter away or trying to impede upon what we’d already agreed. So, I forced myself to stay patient.
Though, I was crawling with excitement.
I wanted to know everything about Macy’s day. Had she told her friends she was coming to spend the night with her father? Did she feel ready to come over for the night? Did she have any particular plans in mind? Or, did she want to just hang out on the couch and watch movies? I was prepared for anything. Whatever she wanted to do, I was down to try at least once.
Though, I did have a rough plan for her time with me.
Hope she doesn’t mind some structure.
I thought back to my mornings with my daughter, coming over with breakfast from a café not too far from where they were from. Granted, I was a bit sad when Ari left the key under the mat instead of letting me have it outright. But one step at a time, no matter how small the steps. I let myself in at the same time every morning. Six o’clock, on the dot. I’d go into the kitchen, start putting breakfast on plates. By the time I got the table set, Macy would come shuffling down the steps, before running and jumping into my arms.
“Daddy!”
I blinked a few times and saw my daughter rushing up the steps. I smiled brightly and held my arms out for her as she barreled onto the porch. A car door slammed and I looked up, watching as Ari wrapped around to the trunk. She pulled out a small bag as well as a blanket, and it looked as if she were struggling to close her car up.
“Maybe we should go help Mom,” I said.
Macy clung to me. “She’s okay. Don’t put me down.”
“Sweetheart, it’s important to help—”
“She told me to come up here and see you. She said she was okay.”
I kissed her cheek. “You asked her and everything?”
“Mhm. Just like I promised you I would.”
I grinned. “Good girl.”
I’d been working with Macy on how she treated her mother. Because it had only taken one morning for me to witness the attitude my daughter always cocked with Ari. It broke my heart, watching the mother of my child mindlessly fight with my daughter while still trying to drink down coffee. On the one hand, I understood Macy’s anger. And on the other hand, she couldn’t let it consume her.
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