Liam

by Candice Blake

  My housekeeper was away on vacation, so my house was a mess. I didn’t realize how much I relied on her until she wasn’t around. There were dishes piled up in the sink. My clothes were draped over my couches and my home office was scattered with papers. My house looked like a hurricane had hit it.

  I didn’t know where to start cleaning, and I was just so overwhelmed with the mess. I ended up sitting on the couch while holding Hayden, wondering if I was even fit to be a father.

  There was a knock on the door and I knew it was Shawn. My heart beat a little faster in my chest, feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement.

  I went to the front door and opened it. Shawn was wearing a black baseball cap with the Raptors logo on it, a Nike hoodie, and sweatpants. I noticed he’d driven his Lamborghini, which he’d parked next to my cars. He stood there just looking at Hayden with wide eyes, and neither of us had said anything to each other yet.

  “He’s... so handsome,” Shawn finally said, still looking at Hayden.

  I smiled. “You can come on in, it’s cold out.”

  Shawn came into my home and remained fixated on Hayden, ignoring the mess around us.

  “Is it alright if I hold him?” Shawn asked, as soon as he had taken his shoes off.

  “Yeah, of course,” I said.

  I handed Hayden to him carefully, and Shawn wrapped his big arms around him, then buried his nose in Hayden’s hair. I was surprised by how gentle Shawn could be.

  “I can’t believe he’s yours,” Shawn said.

  “I can’t believe it either,” I said. “Sometimes I wake up and am still a bit in shock that I’m a dad.”

  I led Shawn into my living room. “Don’t mind the mess,” I said. “I’ve been a bit busy and my housekeeper is on vacation.”

  Shawn smiled. “I don’t mind. This isn’t any messier than our dorm room.”

  “I always blamed the messiness on you guys, but I’ve realized I was probably the messiest one out of the three of us.”

  “Damon and I always knew that, but never wanted to tell you upfront.”

  “Why wouldn’t you guys just tell me the truth?”

  “Well, because it was a bit obvious you’d never needed to clean before, since you came from a wealthier family.”

  “It was that obvious?”

  “Well, you never used to put your clothes away, and during frosh week, you asked me how to do laundry. It was obvious that someone had always done those kinds of things for you.”

  I was embarrassed that Shawn had noticed those things, and even more embarrassed that some of my bad habits hadn’t really changed.

  Shawn sat down on the couch, ignoring the clothes scattered on it. “It’s a beautiful home. You live here all alone?”

  “Besides the chef, housekeeper, and babysitter that come by, it’s just me and Hayden most of the time.”

  “Well, at least you have Hayden. I live in my massive penthouse and mainly it’s just me there. My teammates come over to practice on my court sometimes, and my chiropractor comes by twice a week. Other than that, it’s just me.”

  “It gets a bit lonely when you’re at the top,” I said. “I can’t really be friends with any of my coworkers—except Damon of course. I always feel like the people who work for me are a bit hesitant to approach me, because I’m the CEO.”

  “I guess they don’t realize you’re one of the nicest guys in the world, but you do seem a bit cold sometimes.”

  “Do I?” I asked.

  “Yeah, maybe cold’s not the right word, more like distant. I don’t think you should change though. It makes you who you are.”

  I wasn’t sure if Shawn was saying my coldness was a good or bad trait, but I felt uncomfortable at how much Shawn still remembered. I thought he’d forgotten about me years ago. I thought all these years my anger toward him was fruitless, because I’d never see him again. I thought he didn’t care about me, but maybe I was wrong. I still wasn’t sure though.

  Shawn was still holding onto Hayden. He made himself comfortable on my couch, lying down and putting his head on the armrest—like I used to do in his bed in our old dorm room. He held Hayden up in the air and Hayden smiled toward him. It warmed my heart to see Shawn interact with Hayden like that. Shawn brought Hayden back down to his chest and kissed his temple.

  “I love him so much,” Shawn said quietly.

  “I’ve never seen you interact with kids before. I didn’t know you liked them so much.”

  “The funny thing is, I don’t really like kids. I mean, I don’t hate them, I’m just usually indifferent toward them, but maybe it’s because Hayden is your son that I feel a deeper connection with him.” He looked at Hayden, then back at me. “You guys have the same eyes. Same nose. Same chin. Same smile.”

  I felt blood rush to my cheeks. “I always thought he looked more like my ex-wife, Casey.”

  “I definitely think he got all your features. Why did you and Casey get divorced anyway?”

  “Well, it’d been really difficult for the last five years of our marriage. Since she’s a human rights lawyer, she’s constantly travelling the world, and her being away all the time really affected our marriage. I know I married her because of her dreams and her passions, but after we had Hayden, she was really regretful that we’d started a family, because she felt like it’d hinder her career. Three months later, she asked for a divorce. I begged her to stay, but she’d already agreed to move to Geneva to work for the United Nations Commission on Human Rights, and I was given full custody of Hayden.”

  Shawn frowned and shook his head “Has she ever come back since then?”

  “No. She calls once in a while and asks about Hayden. When she calls, I can tell she tries not to ask too many questions, because she doesn’t want to miss him too much. Sometimes I wonder if the divorce was because she fell out of love with me. I don’t have a lot of answers still.”

  I felt a pang of anxiety in my stomach thinking of my failed marriage. The divorce had caught me off guard and my heart was still in pieces.

  “Do you want to do something today?” Shawn asked. He must’ve changed the subject because he noticed how sad I was getting from talking about the divorce. Shawn had always been empathetic like that.

  “What do you want to do?” I asked.

  Shawn shrugged and looked down toward Hayden. “Maybe take this little guy out somewhere. Remember the apple farm close by to where my parents live? It’s open right now.”

  I smiled at the memory of the apple farm and when Shawn had taken me there one fall around this time of year.

  I looked at my phone, which vibrated endlessly from all the incoming emails. “I have so many things I still have to do today. I don’t know if I can leave the house.”

  “Well, you can work on the go, can’t you?”

  “I can, but I won’t get much done if we go to an apple farm. I need to be alone in my office to focus and get everything done.”

  Shawn smiled. “Maybe I can take Hayden there myself. It’ll give you a little break to get things done.”

  Had it been anyone else, I would’ve said no right away. I didn’t trust many people with Hayden, but from how Shawn was interacting with him, I felt complete trust in having him taken of for the day. To me, it was no different from Damon caring for Hayden. I guessed some of the bond and trust we’d created twenty-seven years ago as dormmates still remained.

  “If you give me an hour, I can probably get enough done to not feel guilty about going to the apple farm. I’ll have to disappear into my office for a bit to make some calls and send off some emails. Then, I’ll be good to go.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Shawn said. “I don’t have practice or a game today, so I’m free pretty much all day. I do have a chiropractor appointment later, but I can call him anytime I’m back.”

  “Alright,” I said, getting up off the couch to go into my office. I looked toward Hayden, who seemed content in Shawn’s arms.

  “Don’t worry,” Shawn said. “Go
get your work done. I’ll be here with my new best friend.”

  I nodded and headed into my office, closing the door behind me. I turned on some quiet classical music to help me get in the zone.

  With Shawn taking care of Hayden, I could actually get some work done for once. As I worked, I remained alert to Hayden crying. It didn’t matter who he was with, Hayden always cried when he realized I was gone, but something strange happened that afternoon—Hayden didn’t cry. I almost wanted to go back into the living room to see what Shawn was doing to make Hayden so quiet, but I also didn’t want to ruin the peaceful moment.

  I made the calls I needed to, then sent off the emails. I’d forgotten how easy it was to get work done without having to take care of Hayden. I managed to do everything twice as fast. When I returned to the living room, I heard Shawn in the kitchen.

  I noticed the clothes on my couch weren’t there anymore. The drinking glasses on the coffee table had been cleaned. The carpet looked freshly vacuumed. Did Shawn really clean my house for me?

  I went into the kitchen and Shawn was turned away from me, washing the dishes in the sink, whistling a familiar tune. He’d put Hayden in his rocking chair right next to him. Hayden was looking up at Shawn in awe.

  Shawn noticed me walk in and smiled. “Hey, how do you wash the inside of the baby bottle?” he asked.

  “The housekeeper usually just puts it in the dishwasher,” I said.

  “I didn’t think you had one,” Shawn said.

  I went up to him and opened one of the wooden cabinets where the dishwasher was hidden inside.

  “Well, this makes things much easier,” Shawn said.

  “I can’t believe you cleaned the house for me,” I said. “You really didn’t have to.”

  Shawn shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “What was I going to do anyway while you worked? Besides, you know me, I always like to be moving. I can’t sit still for very long.”

  “Well, thank you,” I said, feeling slightly embarrassed that Shawn was cleaning up after me like he used to do in college.

  “I should be thanking you, for letting me have this cute little guy keep me company. He’s the only person in this world who likes my whistling. Look what he does when I do it.”

  Shawn started whistling, and Hayden’s eyes brightened, moving his arms and legs around with a huge smile on his face.

  “I’ve never seen him react to someone like that before,” I said. “Seems like he really likes you.”

  Shawn continued to load the dishwasher and I helped him. It was much easier to clean with someone rather than doing it by myself, but I still felt a little embarrassed that he’d cleaned my house for me.

  “Did you get much work done?” Shawn asked, handing me a plate to load into the dishwasher.

  “Quite a lot actually,” I said. “I won’t feel guilty about going to the apple farm.”

  “Good,” Shawn said. “Do you still procrastinate like you used to do?”

  I remained quiet and nodded sheepishly.

  We finished loading the dishwasher and I realized I didn’t even know how to turn it on, because I’d never done it before. There were instructions on the top, but all the symbols and letters looked more like hieroglyphs than instructions. Shawn furrowed his brows and looked at all the buttons on it. I was a bit relieved that he seemed just as confused as I was.

  Shawn pressed a few buttons and then the dishwasher started humming. He was able to get it started through trial and error.

  I knew Shawn would figure it out. It was his personality to get things done no matter what it took. It was one of the traits that I liked the most about him.

  “Alright, I’m done being your housekeeper for the day,” Shawn said jokingly. “Let’s go have some fun.”

  I dressed Hayden with extra layers since it was fall, then we went out and got in my Range Rover.

  “I don’t quite remember where the apple farm is,” I said. “I know it’s close by where your parents used to live, but it’s been a while since I drove so far out of the city.”

  “Do you want me to drive? That way, you can get some more work done if you have to.” Shawn said.

  “Sure,” I said. “It’ll be easier than having you navigate while I drive.”

  We got out and switched seats, and somehow it felt right to have Shawn in the driver’s seat. He’d always been the one to take the lead in our friendship.

  Shawn drove down my driveway through the front gate and headed toward the highway. He was relaxed, palming the steering wheel coolly with one hand.

  “This is a nice ride,” he said.

  “Thanks,” I said. “I only bought such a big car to keep Hayden safe when we’re travelling.”

  We soon got onto the highway and it was about an hour’s drive to get to the apple farm. I smiled when we arrived, recognizing the faded sign from when Shawn had brought me here many years ago.

  We parked our car somewhat far away from the entrance because it was busy that day. Shawn pulled his baseball cap lower before he got out of the car.

  “I hope not a lot of people recognize me out here,” he said.

  “Is it a pretty big problem for you nowadays?” I asked.

  He nodded. “It’s annoying sometimes on days like these when I just want to be left alone. It’s worse when I’m in the city, so hopefully people won’t expect me to be in a place like this so far out, or else you’ll probably be asked to take some photos of me with some fans.”

  “I don’t mind,” I said.

  We got out of the car and I decided to not use a stroller that afternoon so I could hold Hayden and be closer to him. I knew Shawn wouldn’t mind holding him either.

  10

  Shawn

  Twenty-seven years ago

  It was a Wednesday morning and I didn’t have classes until noon. Liam, Damon and I had just woken up and we were hanging out in our beds. Liam was sleeping in his own bed for once.

  “What are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?” Damon asked.

  “Not sure,” I said. “Thanksgiving was never a big thing in my family. We usually just have a simple dinner.”

  Liam was shirtless and dangling an arm and leg from the top bunk. “My parents usually invite everyone in our family over for dinner. And when I say everyone, I mean every single family member I have.”

  “A lot of our friends are going home this weekend,” I said. “I don’t want to be alone in the dorms while everyone’s away.”

  “We can hang out together,” Damon said. “Might be fun to have the whole campus to ourselves. The dining hall is going to be empty and we’ll get to use the gym without having to wait for machines. It might be an interesting experience.”

  I shrugged. “Everyone’s going to come back with interesting stories to tell, while we’ll be here doing the exact same thing we do every day.”

  Liam climbed down the ladder and opened the curtains. He stretched, and then sat down on the foot of my bed. “Maybe you guys can come over to mine for Thanksgiving. It’ll be nice to be with people I actually get along with, rather than talking to my second cousin twice removed who I only ever see once a year.”

  “It might be interesting to see the house you grew up in and meet your parents,” I said.

  “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you guys coming. I just have to run it by them first,” Liam said.

  I glanced over at Damon to see if he’d be interested. He looked indifferent. “I guess we can go,” Damon said. “Don’t they live quite close to our campus?”

  Liam nodded. “We can even take the subway if we want. If we get bored, we can always come back here.”

  “Let’s do it,” I said. “I want to see what your Thanksgivings are like. I’m guessing there’s going to be a lot of food,” I said, rubbing my stomach.

  “There’s going to be lots of food,” Liam said. “I don’t know where we’re all going to sleep though. The guest bedrooms are probably going to be occupied by some family members who come from out o
f town. I only have a double bed in my bedroom.”

  “I don’t mind sleeping on the floor,” Damon said.

  “I can sleep wherever,” I said. “I’m not picky.”

  Damon got out of bed and started doing his morning push-ups on the floor. I was impressed by how disciplined Damon was. He made Liam and I look so lazy in comparison.

  “Has Casey talked to you since that date?” I asked Liam.

  Liam lay down on my bed next to me.

  “We’ve just been talking casually,” Liam said. “I don’t think anything’s going to happen though. I don’t even know if she’s interested in me. Have you talked to her?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve been staying away.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want you to explore your relationship with her.”

  “But you like her, don’t you?”

  “I think she’s an awesome girl. I just know how into her you are, so I’m backing off.”

  Liam sighed. “You know you don’t have to do that.”

  “I know. I just want to.”

  I didn’t want to tell Liam that I wanted him to put himself out there more and explore. Compared to me and Damon, Liam was really lacking in the dating department. I wanted to give him this opportunity with Casey. Even though that was my intention, I still couldn’t help but feel a bit blue for having taken a step back from such a nice girl, but I cared about Liam more than any girl on campus. Nothing would make me happier than to see Liam happy with someone for the first time.

  Later that evening, Liam told us he’d confirmed with his parents that we could come over for Thanksgiving.

  Even though we weren’t leaving until tomorrow night, I was already packing my duffel bag so I wouldn’t forget anything. Liam came into the room having just finished showering. His hair was still damp as he plopped down on my bed, messing up all the shirts I’d neatly folded.