Liam

by Candice Blake

  “You’re not going to tell me what it is?”

  “It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, would it?”

  I groaned. Dad pulled me in for a hug at a red light, putting his nose in my hair and breathing in. “Your mom is going to be so happy to see you. Though, we were quite worried when you called us from the station.”

  “There’s nothing to worry about, Dad,” I said, not wanting to get him all worked up about what happened earlier. I knew my dad was protective of me, and I didn’t want him to stress out about it since it was Thanksgiving.

  The drive to our house was only twenty minutes, and I was filled with a warm feeling in my stomach when we turned on the quiet road where our house was.

  As we approached our house, I saw another car in the driveway.

  “Is Westley home?” I asked, looking at my dad.

  “Surprise!” Dad said with a small grin.

  Dad pulled into the driveway behind my brother’s car, and I ran into the house as fast as I could. My brother was sitting on the couch watching TV. When he saw me, he smiled.

  “Fuck, I was supposed to hide to surprise you,” Westley said.

  I didn’t wait another second to run into my older brother’s arms and give him the biggest hug.

  13

  Liam

  Present Day

  It was an interesting experience, going to an apple farm with one of my former best friends. I tried my best to be cool and not think about what happened in the past. Shawn, Hayden, and I rode on a tractor to the apple-picking section.

  The backdrop of apple trees was beautiful. Shawn had brought me and Damon here on Thanksgiving twenty-seven years ago, and being here today brought back a lot of pleasant memories.

  I was holding Hayden, sitting on a hay bale next to Shawn on the tractor. As the wind blew, I could smell Shawn’s scent. I guessed after all these years, he still used the same body wash. I got a warm feeling in my stomach which surprised me that my body was reacting this way just to the smell of him.

  The tractor slowed to a stop and we waited for all the parents and kids to get off before we got off too.

  “Do you want me to hold him for a bit?” Shawn asked. “It’ll give your arms a break.”

  “Sure,” I said.

  I handed Hayden to Shawn. Even though I trusted few people with my kid, I felt like I could trust Shawn because of how I saw him treat my son when he was at my house.

  Shawn held Hayden close to his chest and smiled.

  “We’re going apple picking today,” Shawn said to Hayden. “You know the apple juice you drink? It comes from those little red things.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at the way Shawn was talking to my kid, and how naturally paternal he was even though he didn’t have a kid himself.

  We walked down an aisle of apple trees and I picked a big green and red colored one, then put it in the paper bag that was given to us.

  Shawn came up to me, and I saw that Hayden was holding onto an apple too.

  “He picked this one,” Shawn said.

  “We’ll let him hold onto it,” I said with a smile.

  Shawn and I picked the most interesting shaped apples on trees, ones that other people overlooked because they weren’t perfect.

  “I used to do this every Thanksgiving with my parents,” Shawn said.

  I smiled. “Your parents are good people.”

  “You still remember them?”

  “Of course, how could I forget two of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”

  “My dad goes to every one of my home games still, but I haven’t really hung out with him in a while.”

  “Why? Aren’t you guys still close?”

  “We’re very close still,” Shawn said, putting another apple in our bag. “I guess I’m just so busy sometimes that it’s hard to plan days to just hang out with him. I only ever see him when he comes to my games.”

  “You should try and hang out with your parents more.”

  “Do you still talk to your parents?”

  “Barely,” I said. “But we weren’t ever close, as you can imagine from when they kicked us out on Thanksgiving that year.”

  Shawn furrowed his brows. “It still angers me to this day that they’d do something like that. We were eighteen-year-old kids and we didn’t know any better.”

  “What happened did make you, Damon and me closer though,” I said. “Had they not kicked us out, we would’ve never taken that train out to your parents’ house, and we wouldn’t have had that unforgettable Thanksgiving.”

  Shawn looked down and smiled. Recalling what happened in his bedroom over that weekend made me blush. I decided to change the subject.

  “What are your parents doing today?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” Shawn said. “I’m sure they’re at home. My parents are both retired now, and I think they’re home quite a lot.”

  “It’s funny how quickly time flies,” I said. “The image I have of your dad in my mind is a forty-something-year-old handsome man, but we’re the same age as he was when I met him.”

  Shawn shook his head and smiled tightly. “Don’t remind me how old we are now.”

  We walked down another section of trees that had fewer apples on the trees and was much quieter.

  “We’re actually really close to their house right now. It’s only a thirty-minute drive from this apple farm,” Shawn said.

  “Do you want to visit them if they’re around?” I asked.

  “Well, I know how busy you are, and we weren’t planning to come out here to begin with. Are you sure you want to?”

  I thought for a moment, wondering if it was a good idea to see Shawn’s parents again after I hadn’t spoken to them in so many years, but they had left such a good impression on me that I wanted to visit them again.

  “I don’t mind,” I said. “I think they’d be surprised to meet Hayden too.”

  “Oh, they’ll definitely be surprised to see this little guy,” Shawn said, lifting Hayden up so he could kiss him on his cheek. “Especially my dad. He’s been asking me constantly when I’m going to settle down and give him some grandchildren.”

  I smiled. “How do you usually respond to that?”

  “I always tell him that I probably won’t have kids any time soon so I don’t get his hopes up.”

  “Do you really think you won’t?” I asked.

  “I don’t see how I would with the life I’m living now, unless I retire from basketball, but I want to push myself and continue playing for as long as I can. People always told me that I’d have to stop when I hit thirty, and I proved them wrong. Then, I turned thirty-five, and everyone told me no one would want someone that old on their team. I proved them wrong again. I’m forty-five now, and I don’t think I’ll stop until fifty.”

  “I think it’s incredible you’re still playing at the level you do,” I said. “Some players in their early twenties can’t keep up with you.”

  Shawn looked down modestly. “I guess it’s just good genes. Just look at my dad, he’s sixty-five this year and he’s still so fit and active.”

  I wanted to see Shawn’s dad again after how nice he was to me when I first met him.

  “Let’s go see your parents,” I said. “We’re so close anyway.”

  “I’ll give them a call. Maybe we’ll stop by a grocery store on the way back and cook with them.”

  Shawn, Hayden, and I got on the next tractor to head back to the main area of the farm. Our paper bag was filled with freshly-picked apples.

  We stopped by the shop on our way out, and I got a few apple pies and apple crumbles. I planned to give some to Shawn’s parents, and a couple to Damon when I saw him again, too.

  We got back in my car, and Shawn called his dad, asking if it was alright if we dropped by. I recognized his Dad’s deep voice on the phone and his enthusiasm to hear I was coming to visit.

  Shawn and I went straight to his parents’ home, because his dad told us he was already cooking
dinner.

  Shawn drove down the quiet country roads. I opened the window just a little, breathing in the clean, crisp air that was so different from the air in the city.

  “Would you ever move out here?” I asked, looking over at Shawn and being reminded of how handsome his profile looked.

  “I think about it all the time,” he said. “But, I have to remain in the city because of basketball. Otherwise, I’d move out here in a heartbeat.” Shawn looked over at me. “Would you?”

  “I don’t think I could either because of work,” I said.

  “But you can work from anywhere, can’t you?”

  “I could. But I still like to drop by the office once in a while. If Damon and I are gone for too long, the office gets too chaotic.”

  “Just have Damon there every day, and you can be wherever you want,” Shawn said jokingly.

  “I’m sure he’d love that,” I said.

  “How’s your friendship with Damon anyway?” Shawn asked.

  “It’s been really good,” I said. “It wasn’t easy, starting a business with such a close friend, and we’ve definitely had our ups and downs, but I consider Damon as my brother now and we learn a lot from each other.”

  “What do you learn from him?”

  “How to be more assertive.”

  “I’ve noticed that,” Shawn said. “You’ve definitely broken out of your shell.”

  “I don’t think I owe it completely to Damon. It’s from all my life experiences too.”

  “What do you think Damon learns most from you?” Shawn asked.

  “Patience,” I said. “Damon’s always been an impatient guy, but I think he’s getting better. Maybe it’s also because he’s a dad now.”

  “Now imagine if I had a kid too. The three of us would all be dads.”

  “I can see you as a dad,” I said.

  “Really? How?”

  “Well, just from the way you interact with Hayden. You seem to have this natural paternal instinct in you.”

  Shawn looked over at me with a raised brow. “I didn’t know you were watching me so closely.”

  “I wasn’t,” I said, sounding defensive and feeling blood rush to my cheeks.

  Shawn let out a laugh. “I know, I’m just joking with you.”

  We turned onto Shawn’s parents’ street. The half hour drive had flown by, and it was nice talking to Shawn in the car. Somehow, driving somewhere made it easier to have a conversation with him, or maybe it was just because I hadn’t been alone with him for so long that it was nice catching up.

  Shawn parked behind his dad’s pickup truck and I got Hayden out of the car.

  I opened the trunk and took out an apple pie and apple crumble, and Shawn helped me hold them.

  Shawn knocked on the door and a few moments later, his dad opened it. Shawn gave his dad a hug, burying his face in his dad’s chest like I remembered him doing when we were younger.

  “Dad,” Shawn said. “It’s been too long since I’ve been home.”

  “Too long, son.”

  Shawn’s dad smiled at me as he was hugging Shawn.

  I remembered how tall and strong he was when I first met him twenty-something years ago. Shawn mentioned earlier he was sixty-five-years-old, but he looked like he was still in his fifties. His hair had greyed significantly, but he was still muscular. I guessed good genes ran in the Carter family. I wondered if Shawn was going to look as young as his Dad did when he got older too.

  “It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Carter,” I said.

  “It’s so nice to see you, Liam. Come give me a hug. It’s been too long.”

  Mr. Carter gave me a half hug since I was holding Hayden, and I remembered how much he smelled like Shawn.

  Mr. Carter’s eyes went right toward Hayden. “Don’t tell me this is your baby.”

  “He’s all mine,” I said.

  Mr. Carter brushed his thumb over Hayden’s cheek. “He’s handsome like you. Why am I not surprised?”

  We went in the house and I could smell the delicious aromas of whatever they were cooking in the kitchen. Mrs. Carter stepped out. Her silver-grey hair was fastened in a bun.

  “My boys,” Mrs. Carter said.

  I felt a warm feeling in my heart, hearing her refer to both me and Shawn as her boys.

  She came and gave us both a hug.

  “Mrs. Carter, you’re just as beautiful as I remember,” I said.

  “Careful,” Mr. Carter said jokingly while shooting me a look.

  “Liam’s right though,” Shawn said. “Mom, you’re glowing today.”

  “Stop it,” Mrs. Carter said.

  She looked over at Hayden and smiled.

  “This is Hayden,” I said.

  “How does it feel to be a father?” Mrs. Carter asked.

  “Terrifying and the most humbling and amazing experience I’ve ever had.”

  Mrs. Carter nodded. “You hear that, Shawn? Being a father is the most amazing experience Liam’s ever had.”

  “Mom...” Shawn said, furrowing his brows.

  “I’m just teasing,” Mrs. Carter said. “I know you can’t rush these things. You’re like your father—forever young at heart.”

  Shawn’s dad went into the kitchen and returned with a couple of opened beers, giving me and Shawn one each.

  “Dinner’s going to be ready soon,” Mr. Carter said. “You boys just relax while we cook.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want us to help?” I asked.

  “Of course not,” Mr. Carter said.

  Shawn’s parents went back into the kitchen and Shawn and I went into the living room. We sat on the big leather couch, watching the game on TV. Shawn kicked his feet up and propped his head up with his hand while sipping his beer. It reminded me of how he used to do that in our college dorm.

  I couldn’t help but steal glances at Shawn, and remembering all the good memories we had together made me smile. I was feeling a roller coaster of emotions as I recalled all the laughs and arguments we had shared. All the good times and the bad. All the drunken nights at the bar, and the early mornings at the library.

  I sighed, thinking about how much time had passed since I’d last seen Shawn.

  It was lost time. Time that we could never get back. Was it my fault for being so stubborn and closed off? Was it his for being so aloof?

  Was it neither of our faults?

  I didn’t know who to blame, and I felt like if I could place the blame on someone or something, it’d make me feel better about the situation.

  More than anything, I wanted another night with Shawn. I wanted to go back in time and spend one more night in a college dorm room with him. In a twin-sized bed, where he could hold me in his arms.

  “Want to go up to my bedroom?” Shawn asked during a commercial break. “I haven’t been up there in a long time.”

  I nodded, and Shawn led me and Hayden up the stairs. I didn’t have to see the room to remember what it looked like. The impact of what we had done together in this room when we were eighteen had changed my life. I could recall all the little details about the room, from the color of his bedsheets, to how many sports trophies were up on his shelf.

  I wondered if what had happened that Thanksgiving night when we were young was as significant to him as it was to me.

  14

  Shawn

  Twenty-seven years ago

  “I’m surprised how much you guys look alike,” Liam said to Westley.

  My brother smiled. “We got that a lot growing up. People always mistook me and Shawn for twins. I guess it’s because we’re only two years apart.”

  “Are you still in school then?” Liam asked.

  “I am,” Westley said. “I’m in my third year.”

  My dad walked in with two big plates of Thanksgiving leftovers and handed them to Liam and Damon.

  “Westley wants to be a doctor. He’s studying pre-med at the same university as you guys,” Dad said. “I’m lucky both my sons have such big dreams.
One wants to be a surgeon and the other wants to be an NBA star. What more could a dad ask for?”

  Mom came out of the kitchen and handed me a plate of food too.

  “You could ask for boys who could come home and see their parents more often,” Mom said with a smile.

  “I wish I wasn’t so busy with school and basketball, Mom,” I said. “I’d want to visit you and Dad all the time, especially because of these home-cooked meals.”

  “I hope they’re feeding you well at school,” Mom said. “I don’t know how nutritious those dining-hall meals are.”

  “They’re actually not bad at all,” I said. “But, you know I prefer your cooking over anything.”

  Liam took a bite of some turkey. “This is incredible,” Liam said, after taking a bite. “Thank you so much for this food.”

  The food wasn’t as fancy as what Liam’s parents had made earlier that evening. I knew my parents used canned cranberry sauce, and the turkey was frozen, but this was the Thanksgiving food I remembered growing up, and Thanksgiving to me was less about the food and more about the people I spent it with.

  “So, can you tell us why you guys decided to come here tonight?” my dad asked. “I’m just curious because I thought you told us you were spending it at Liam’s parents’ tonight.”

  I didn’t want to tell my parents the whole story in front of Liam, and I was also embarrassed because getting kicked out was my fault, but I also had never lied to my parents before.

  “I’ll tell you later, Dad,” I said.

  My dad nodded. “No worries, son. I’m just glad you guys are somewhere safe and warm on Thanksgiving.”

  We continued eating in the living room which was where my family ate most of our meals. I had always felt a sense of peace at home.

  “It’s so late,” I said to my parents. “Isn’t it way past your bedtime?”

  My dad nodded. “I’m working a shift at the plant tomorrow because they pay double on holidays.”

  “You work too hard, Dad,” Westley said.

  My dad put his arm around my brother. “I do it for you boys and your mom. I enjoy working so I can make money and give you guys a better life. If I didn’t work, I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”