#Goals

by Teodora Kostova

  “Did you not get any sleep?” Victor's voice broke the silence of the night.

  Avery jumped in the chair, his hand flying to his chest. “Fucking hell, you scared me!”

  “Sorry.”

  Victor pulled a chair opposite Avery and sat. There were pillow creases on his cheek and Avery had to bite his lip against a smile.

  “Sleep well?”

  Victor hummed around a yawn, then lifted his arms and stretched lazily.

  “You didn’t sleep?” He asked again.

  “I took a little nap on the sofa. I’m too jetlagged to sleep for long.”

  The sound of a faint knock came from inside the house. If he hadn’t expected it, Avery probably wouldn’t have heard it over the sound of the waves on the terrace.

  “Come in,” he yelled, making Victor grimace.

  Aziz came in pushing a trolley full of food and drinks. The aroma of hot food wafted through the air and Avery's mouth watered. Apart from a snack when they’d arrived, he hadn’t had anything to eat.

  Aziz arranged everything on the table and, smooth as a ghost, left.

  They ate in companionable silence, too hungry to make small talk. Avery loved watching Victor eat. There was something intimate about sharing food with someone – the way they held their fork, or picked at the bits they didn’t like.

  Victor chewed slowly, savouring every bite. His tongue snuck out to lick his lips, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. It was hypnotising to watch.

  “Do you not like the food?” Victor asked, pointing at Avery's plate with his fork.

  “What?” Avery looked at his plate to find it still full. He’d been so engrossed in watching Victor he’d forgotten to eat himself. “Ah, no, the food is fine. I’m just not a big eater.”

  A furrow appeared between Victor's brows but he didn’t comment. Avery tried to focus on his coconut curry and found it delicious, if a little overly spicy.

  “So,” Victor said, placing the fork in the empty plate. “What’s the plan?”

  “For what?”

  “For this,” he gestured around. “Is there anything ‘Sunset’ want us to do? An itinerary?”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  “So, we just do what we feel like?”

  “Pretty much.”

  Victor smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I like that.”

  A thought occurred to Avery and he voiced it before he could stop himself.

  “How about a soak in the pool after dinner?”

  Something flashed in Victor's eyes, something that made Avery shiver.

  “Sure,” he drawled. “I hope I remembered to take my trunks.”

  “It’s fine if you didn’t,” Avery said, leaning forward on the table. “In fact, it’s preferable.”

  Two can play that game.

  Unfortunately, Victor had remembered his trunks. His tight, blue, leave-nothing-to-the-imagination trunks. Avery practically salivated when Victor appeared on the edge of the pool, hands on his waist, looking down in the pool.

  “Is the water warm?” He asked, dipping his toe.

  “It’s amazing.” Avery swam to the edge, propping himself on his upper arms. “Jump in.”

  Victor gave him a sceptical look, but then shrugged and dived in the water. His long, lean body barely made a splash. Avery watched as he resurfaced, his long hair falling in wet strands around his face, his expression unguarded. As Victor swam closer to Avery, he held him captive in his blue gaze, darker in the dim light. Avery couldn’t look away.

  “You were right,” Victor said softly, stopping right in front of Avery, their naked chests nearly touching.

  “About what?”

  “The water.” The way Victor said the word made goosebumps erupt on Avery's skin. “It’s amazing.”

  Avery didn’t know what was happening but he was powerless to stop it. Maybe it was this place – the pool on the edge of the cliff, the sky glittering with stars, the sound of the ocean nearby. Or maybe it was just Victor's hypnotic blue eyes refusing to release him from their hold.

  Whatever it was, Avery wanted nothing more than to stop pretending.

  And the thought scared him.

  “Let’s take some photos!” Avery said, too cheerfully in the quiet night. “We need to keep our followers entertained, right?” He swam away before Victor could respond.

  Pulling himself up and out of the pool, Avery walked to the table and grabbed his phone. His hands were shaking and he couldn’t explain why.

  This was Victor. They’d become good friends ever since agreeing to this farce. They’d hung out together in the days leading to the trip, teased each other and even harmlessly flirted, and it had never been a problem.

  What was happening?

  He needed to calm the fuck down.

  Taking a few deep breaths, Avery clicked on the camera icon and walked back to the edge of the pool.

  “Come, let’s take a photo,” he said, sitting down on the edge, legs in the water.

  Victor had become worryingly quiet, his face set in a blank expression Avery didn’t like. But he didn’t protest. He swam to the edge, propped himself on his arms and posed for Avery's selfies.

  After he got enough shots to choose from, Avery busied himself with editing the best ones and posting them on his feed and in his story.

  Victor swam leisurely in the pool, not big enough to do a proper lap, but he didn’t seem bothered.

  “We should ask Aziz for an inflatable flamingo,” Avery said, already imagining Victor on the pink flamingo. “It’ll make a good prop.”

  “Whatever you want,” Victor said, his voice devoid of emotion.

  Avery glanced at him – he was floating on his back, his hair like golden seaweed in the water, his body elegant and relaxed. More than anything Avery wanted to ask him what was going on in his mind.

  But he didn’t.

  Instead, Avery stood, grabbed the robe thrown over the lounger and walked back inside. He may as well do some work on his laptop to get his mind off things, and exhaust himself enough to sleep.

  Chapter five

  Victor floated aimlessly in the pool, watching the stars twinkle in the dark sky. The water covered his ears and distorted the sounds around him. He felt more than heard when Avery got out of the pool and left.

  He couldn’t get Avery's face out of his mind – his wet eyelashes, his full mouth, his smooth skin with water droplets shining on it. Avery was always gorgeous, but here, in the pool under the starlit sky, there had been something vulnerable in his gaze. More than anything Victor had wanted to kiss him, get as close to him as possible. His eyes had been a force field, drawing Victor in.

  Until Victor saw a shutter fall over them and Avery withdrew so fully that Victor felt it like punch to the gut.

  Hands treading the water lightly, Victor kept staring at the sky, not really seeing it. His fingers itched to touch Avery's skin.

  Victor folded them into a fist.

  Letting his feet drop and touch the bottom of the pool, Victor ran his hands through his hair, slicking the wet strands back. Tired, even after the long nap, Victor pulled himself out of the pool, and headed inside the house. Avery was sitting at the table working on his laptop. His eyes lifted to Victor's as he passed by.

  “You’re dripping water on the floor.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Towels and robes are inside the wardrobe, on the left.”

  “Thanks.”

  He heard Avery sigh and his chair screech on the stone-tiled floor.

  “Victor, wait.”

  Victor pulled out a soft white towel and starting drying his hair.

  “You need to sleep,” Victor said when Avery reached him. He stood awkwardly in his robe, too big on his lithe body, his hair dried into a fluffy mop on his head.

  He was lovely.

  Victor wanted to reach out and pull him in for a hug.

  “I will, I just need to finish something.” He bit his li
p, his eyes fixed somewhere above Victor's head.

  Victor let the towel hang around his shoulders. He stepped closer to Avery.

  Reluctantly, Avery met his eyes.

  “I don’t want you sleeping on the sofa. We can share the bed.”

  Avery swallowed. Victor followed the movement of his throat.

  “I…” Avery began, but then shook his head and pursed his lips. “Fine. It’s a giant bed, we should be able to share without any issues.”

  Victor hoped there would be issues.

  Chapter six

  Avery took off his glasses and stretched his arms above his head. His back popped. His head was pounding with a tension headache. Lack of sleep and hours in front of his laptop screen had taken their toll.

  Quietly, he tiptoed to the bathroom, trying not to wake Victor. He’d gone to bed about an hour before and Avery hadn’t heard him even stir. When he was done in the bathroom, Avery stripped to his boxer shorts and climbed into the bed.

  The moonlight was bright through the window, but once Avery's aching body hit the mattress, he didn’t want to get up to close the curtains. His eyes fell on Victor's sleeping frame – he was lying on his side facing Avery, his hair spilled on the white pillow, his shoulder peeking from under the sheet. His skin looked so smooth and soft, Avery's fingers tickled with the need to reach out and touch him.

  As stealthy as he could, Avery slid closer to Victor. He couldn’t touch him, but he could pretend he’d accidently rolled closer in his sleep.

  “Hey,” Victor whispered, making Avery jump. His heart pounded in his ears, his eyes wide with shock.

  “I thought you were sleeping,” Avery said. He hoped Victor hadn’t seen him sneak closer.

  Victor shook his head. “I can’t seem to fall asleep.”

  The moonlight shone behind him, framing Victor’s body like a giant halo. His face was caught in the shadow, so Avery couldn’t quite judge his expression.

  “It’s the jetlag.”

  “Perhaps.” Victor's eyes were such a bright blue that they somehow managed to gleam even in the dark. “Tell me something real.”

  Avery's thoughts screeched to a halt. “Hm?”

  “Tell me something real,” Victor repeated, his voice raw and vulnerable.

  Avery said the first thing that came to mind. “I like your hands.”

  Victor's mouth quirked. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” Avery traced Victor's index finger as his hand lay relaxed on the mattress. “You have long fingers. Your nails are a very elegant shape, and always trimmed. The way you move your hands when you speak, or when you work with the camera is mesmerising.”

  I want to know how they’ll feel on my body.

  Avery bit his lip before he foolishly voiced the thought.

  “Thanks.” Victor blinked slowly, his eyes barely staying open.

  “Now you.”

  His voice barely above a whisper Victor said, “I’m tired.” He closed his eyes, but he was still smiling.

  “Not fair.”

  “I know.”

  Avery moved his hand away from Victor's. Without opening his eyes, Victor turned his hand, palm up. It was the worst idea in the world, but Avery didn’t care. He placed his own hand in Victor's. His stomach fluttered when their fingers entwined.

  “I feel lost sometimes,” Victor said, so quietly Avery barely heard him. “I need to feel needed.” Victor's words were slurred as if he was talking in his sleep.

  Avery didn’t think Victor needed him to reply. He squeezed his fingers and didn’t let go of his hand all night.

  “And exhale”.

  The instructor’s voice had that serene quality that instantly made Avery think of incense and gemstones and salt baths. He slowly straightened his spine, his eyes focusing on the turquoise water in front of them.

  Avery had convinced Victor to come to the beach for a yoga class before breakfast. He'd woken up with a headache, his body stiff and aching all over. Victor hadn’t been too keen, and Avery had assumed he didn’t like yoga, or had never done it. But that turned out to be the worst assumption Avery had ever made.

  Victor was as at home on the yoga mat as he was behind the camera. His lean body moved elegantly through the positions earning him praise from the instructor. And now, at the end of the class, Victor was as fresh and poised as ever, his face relaxed and dewy, not a sign they’d been doing exercise for an hour. While Avery, on the other hand, was sweating profusely and he could feel his cheeks burning with exhaustion.

  “Alright, that was all for today,” the instructor said. “Thank you for coming and enjoy the rest of your day. Namaste.” She bowed slightly, and so did everyone else, before they turned to gather their things.

  “You were right,” Victor said as he crouched next to Avery to roll his mat. “That was fun.”

  Avery glared at him.

  “You don’t look any more relaxed than you did this morning, though.” He frowned, reaching a hand to touch Avery's forehead. “And you’re quite warm. Are you okay?”

  Avery pushed his hand away. “I’m fine. I’m warm because I exercised in the heat. A very natural, human reaction.”

  He finished rolling his mat and stood. Victor watched him with a twinkle in his eyes.

  “You’re upset because you’re not the best at something?”

  “I’m not upset,” Avery threw over his shoulder as he started marching up the million steps back to the villa.

  “You are!”

  Avery could hear the smile in Victor's voice as he easily caught up to him.

  “Admit it.” Victor was right behind Avery now, his breath tickling Avery's neck.

  “I am not.” He had to bite his lip against a smile.

  Victor chuckled, his warm breath on Avery's skin making him shiver.

  “How about a race to the top?”

  Avery stopped abruptly, Victor bumping into him.

  “Are you fucking mad?” He turned to face Victor. Standing on the higher step made their height difference disappear.

  “You scared?” Victor waggled his eyebrows.

  “I’m tired. And hungry.”

  “We’ll get to the food faster if we race.”

  Avery rolled his eyes. But there was something in Victor's tone that made him want to race to the top. He hadn’t actually done something so silly since he was a kid, and the challenge Victor had issued excited him.

  However, he’d lose any advantage if he showed that to Victor, so instead he maintained a bored expression until Victor shrugged and gave up on the idea.

  And then, Avery turned on his heel and ran. As fast as his tired legs would carry him. Adrenalin flooded his veins as he heard Victor laugh, then give chase behind him.

  “You sneaky little minx!” Victor yelled behind him, his voice closer than Avery expected it to be.

  Focused on running and not tripping on the stone steps, Avery didn’t realise he’d gotten to the top of the stairs much faster than he’d anticipated. Just as his foot was about to touch the last step, his body was lifted off the ground, a strong arm around his waist.

  He yelped, dropping his yoga mat. Victor laughed, carrying him over the last step, then turning and putting Avery down.

  “I win.” His arm was still around Avery's waist.

  Avery couldn’t move. He couldn’t take a breath. He was mesmerised by Victor's eyes, as bright and clear as the ocean below.

  Someone cleared their throat behind them, and they spun around. Victor still didn’t let go of Avery completely.

  “Mr Stone, Mr Nilsson,” Aziz the butler said, holding their discarded mats. “Would you like breakfast served in your villa, or here in the main dining room?”

  “At the villa, please. I need a shower.” Avery was all too aware of how sweaty he was, especially when Victor was so close to him.

  He tried to sidestep away from Victor, but he held him in place.

  “Very well,” Aziz said and departed.

  “I need to do a selfi
e with that guy, and maybe a short video,” Avery said, watching Aziz walk away. “He’s absolutely fascinating. Easy on the eye, too.”

  He turned to look at Victor whose arms slowly slipped away from his waist.

  “Yeah,” he said, in the flat tone Avery was beginning to hate.

  He walked away from Avery, and instantly, Avery missed his touch.

  Chapter seven

  Everywhere they went, Avery was on his phone. He took pictures and videos of everything, then spent ages uploading the new content. Victor wondered if he even saw anything – the beach, the colourful market, the locals, the food… Nose stuck in his phone, Avery kept tripping and bumping into things. Victor had to steer him away.

  Victor hated that Avery was missing out on so much. He wanted to pry the damn phone from his hands and throw it over a cliff.

  And that made him feel like an asshole.

  He knew Avery was working. That this whole trip was paid for because of Avery's Instagram presence. And yet… He wanted to pry the damn phone away from his hands.

  Worst of all, Avery's personality shifted the moment he got into Instagram mode, as Victor had started calling it. His smile was too big, too fake; his eyes too wide; his posture too stiff.

  Victor had loved the way Avery's voice sounded the night before, the way his fingertips slightly traced his hand, the way his eyes gleamed in the moonlight. It had felt so intimate. And Avery had been so… soft. As if Victor could take him in his arms and he wouldn’t pull away like he always did.

  And this morning when he’d chased him playfully, held him, joked with him… They’d been free.

  Chapter eight

  “I thought this was supposed to be a holiday,” Avery groaned as he fell into the lounger by the pool. “I’m fucking exhausted.”

  Victor sat next to him with a heavy sigh, but didn’t say anything. Avery glanced at him – denim shorts, colourful patterned t-shirt, an anklet he’d acquired at the market to add to his extensive accessories collection – Victor looked as fresh as a cucumber in a glass of G&T.