Selling Your Story in 60 Seconds

by Michael Hauge

  See how it all comes together when you start with a great story, and a great pitch?

  Rather than limit this book to my own opinions and advice about 60-second pitches, I asked a lot of other people in power about what they look for in a good pitch. Below are their responses.

  The contributors include agents, producers, publishers, attorneys, managers, development executives and writers from the US, England, and Europe. All of them have been on the receiving end of lots and lots of pitches.

  The insights these generous contributors offer are outstanding and varied. Some are broad and general, some are very specific. Some address novels, some screenplays and TV episodes. Some are inspiring, some cautionary. Most pertain to short pitches, but some focus on longer pitch meetings. But all of these insights will give you additional information, ideas and guidance in creating and presenting your pitches.

  And if you ever find yourself pitching to one of these people, you’ll know what they look for, and you’ll have a great basis for acknowledgment.

  I thought about adding some comments of my own throughout the chapter to emphasize or expand on what these experts say. Or maybe to gloat when a top buyer agrees with something I said earlier in this book (it’s the sophisticated, literary version of “Told ya, told ya!“). But I decided to let everyone’s comments stand on their own.

  Just a couple things I want you to notice as you read through all of these ideas.

  Again and again, the comment you will hear repeated is that weak pitches have too many details. This simply reinforces the #1 rule I’ve been preaching through this entire book: Don’t try to tell your story.

  Brief, succinct, well-organized and well-prepared pitches that convey the essence of a story are cited by more than half of these contributors as essential to achieving success. Or more precisely, including lots of unnecessary information and details about characters and plot is repeatedly cited as the primary weakness of most bad pitches.

  The other two hallmarks of successful pitches mentioned numerous times are: a great idea — an original, exciting, high-concept story that simply sounds like a great book or movie; and the writer’s excitement and passion.

  And in case you think I might have stacked the deck and only included responses that support my own ideas, notice that several buyers suggest things that are the opposite of what I recommend (particularly when it comes to the structure of the presentation, and whether the log line, title and genre should begin the pitch).

  I’m not including these sometimes contradictory opinions and suggestions to confuse you, but rather to emphasize that there’s more than one way to design a successful pitch. Incorporate the ideas that make the most sense to you, and which best suit your own story, style and personality.

  In other words, as I’ve said before, you must make the pitch your own. These added principles and insights will help you do just that.

  To get everyone’s comments and suggestions, I asked them each the same two questions:

  What are the most common weaknesses in the short pitches you’ve heard, either over the phone or at conferences and pitch fests?

  Think of a specific short pitch — from a writer, agent, manager or executive — that got you to read a screenplay or manuscript. What was it about the pitch that persuaded you?

  Rather than repeat these questions each time, I’ll just provide their answers, numbered. (Some respondents combined their thoughts and suggestions into one answer, so those aren’t numbered.) Here are their replies:

  Jeff Arch

  Labrador Media Group

  Oscar-nominated Screenwriter: Sleepless in Seattle; Iron Will; Saving Millie

  Writer/Director: Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys; Two Weeks in Chelsea

  The number one weakness I’ve noticed is that the writer doesn’t really have a whole story thought out, yet is able to describe the opening scene in full, Technicolor detail. As soon as I hear the words “Well, it begins …,” my radar starts beeping that there’s not likely to be a middle or an end. Unfortunately that’s true almost 100% of the time.

  Quite often, if a pitch comes to me from an agent, manager or executive, it also comes with an offer attached, and that tends to be very persuasive. But in other cases, the factors are always the same: There was a clever idea; clear-cut characters; a hero I cared about; a forward motion through a solid story that had a beginning/middle/end; and that elusive “something extra” that made me really want to read the script.

  If the person has those major factors nailed down, that tells me he/she is a professional, and very serious about what they’re doing and where they want to go. Because like everyone else, I’m a sucker for a good idea — but more than that, if I’m sitting across from a person who has his/her act together, there’s no way I’m going to miss the opportunity to read what they’ve written.

  Adryenn Ashley

  21st Century Pictures Group

  Producer

  Lack of originality. Don’t tell me it’s Cowboys and Indians in Space (Star Wars). Don’t pitch using references to movies nobody has seen. Keep it fresh, timely, articulate, and interesting.

  One writer came up with “The boogieman falls in love with the tooth fairy and has to turn over a new leaf to prove himself.“ I was instantly intrigued. That’s what I look for. Keep it simple but interesting, and be able to go into a lot longer but equally as interesting explanation of what happens.

  Jenean D. Atwood

  Writer, Co-Founder: Atwood Legacy Enterprises

  People sound terrified! Writers should learn to channel that nervous energy into the pitch. Why should anyone else believe in the project if the pitcher sounds shaky!?

  Do the homework. Know the project, the market and the target audience. Pitchers must be able to answer questions and discuss the project beyond the rehearsed pitch. In an age of multiple platforms, pitchers must be able to show how their content works for other media like cable and wireless.

  Presentation and preparation are crucial. With these two elements, even the stupid ideas grow legs! With a clear and concise presentation (e.g. Taxi meets Girlfriends), the person taking the pitch has an automatic reference point. Preparation is a given — the more the better. The pitcher might not use all that has been prepared, but it is better to leave a pitch having not used everything than to wish you had gone the extra mile.

  Stanley M. Brooks Once Upon A Time Films

  Producer: Broken Trail; Cool Money; Murder at the Presidio; Ladies Night; On Thin Ice; Behind the Mask; Beautiful Girl

  Senior Lecturer: The American Film Institute Center for Advanced Film & Television Studies

  The biggest mistake neophyte writers and producers make is that they focus on the plot (story) and forget to spend the majority of time cementing the concept and the characters. It’s the IDEA and the CHARACTERS that get us excited. You can’t find those. You can’t fix those. You can give notes on plot all day long. That’s the least important part of a pitch.

  The thing that usually sparks my interest is a personal connection to the story from the producer or writer. For example, “My childhood was spent on a farm and I watched my parents lose it to a big corporation — this story is loosely based on my experiences.” Passion and emotion sell pitches. If I can sense that in the writer or producer, I’m immediately hooked.

  Philippa Burgess

  Partner, Creative Convergence

  One of the greatest weaknesses of most pitches is a lack of understanding of who the writer is pitching to and what that person can or cannot do for them. It is important for a writer to come to the table with endorsements from people who have read and recommended their script, not just that the writer thinks it is saleable to Hollywood. This is a very social business, and information, know-how and contacts have currency.

  As a literary manager I’ve sold a number of pitches to Hollywood and I have heard hundreds upon hundreds of pitches at dozens of conferences around the country. The first thing I like to know is if the
person pitching is an amateur or a professional, because we can only hope to make money for professionals. The primary difference is that an amateur wants us to market his script, and a professional wants us to let him know how to make his script marketable. It’s a subtle but huge difference.

  This is a business, it’s not the lottery, and I am interested in someone who takes his craft seriously and is taking practical steps to develop his career. Participation at a screenwriting conference is a step, but it helps if he can mention how long he’s been writing, who are his mentors/coaches/teachers, any relevant professional experience (e.g. a law background, if they are writing legal-themed material), what contests have they placed in or won, who they know in the industry, where they are from, and what they are looking to achieve — and all in 30 seconds.

  Relationships are key, and I begin to form a relationship with someone the second I lay eyes on them. While I am listening I am trying to assess how far along they are in their path and if they are actually ready for representation. It’s easier if they have some “it” factor with a translatable success in another area that we can use to platform them as a screenwriter. I am looking at them considering if I would enjoy working closely with this person, and if I would feel confident introducing them to people in the industry. I also want to know if they are willing to do the work that will be necessary for them to have a sustainable career. Mostly I want to know if they “get it” in terms of knowing and accepting certain “realities” about the business.

  Diane Cairns

  Producer, Writer, Director; CEO of CAIRNSCO Productions; Former Senior Vice-President and Head of West Coast Literary, International Creative Management; former Senior Vice-President of Production, Universal Pictures

  The writer didn’t take the time to construct (and rehearse!) a one-line/two-line log line that is brief, accurately descriptive and entertaining.

  A pitch should catch my attention and hold it, promising me/the buyers/the audience a fulfilling movie-going experience. Provoke me to spend time and money to satisfy my piqued curiosity. Don’t just tell me the idea — sell me the idea. And don’t bother to come to me unless you have a completed screenplay. I am not interested in pitches, treatments or other short-cuts to fame and fortune — ever!!! If you didn’t believe in the idea enough to write it, why should I?

  If you call me on the phone, don’t babble, don’t gush, and don’t give me your life story, or even the five-minute version of your pitch. First ask if this is a convenient time to chat, tell me who you are, where you came from and/or how you found me. Then give me the log line of your screenplay. If I’m interested (or more to the point, if I can squeeze in the time), I will tell you then and there. If you have “it,” trust that I will know it and respond. Cajoling, campaigning or other hard-selling won’t get me to change my mind, and is largely disrespectful.

  Most of the time, when I agree to read or meet someone, it’s not so much that they pitched me something well (because most do it so poorly), but because in their brief solicitation, I am persuaded by whoever recommended them to me, or I’m intrigued by something about their general background, or I take a particular interest in an arena or a character that I feel will attract another contact’s interest.

  In other words, if Universal Chairman Ron Meyer recommended you to me, or if you went to USC, or lived in Alaska, or are a twin, or if your idea includes something I think is right for Julia Roberts or Adrian Lyne, you’re in. Simply put, you and the log line of your screenplay should, to a large extent, sell themselves on face value.

  Deborah Calla

  Calla Productions

  Producer: Dream House; Lost Zweig; Lehi’s Wife; Fox Kids Club

  A pitch that is solely based on a one-idea hook. You can tell the writer had one strong idea but didn’t put the time into developing it into a story with a beginning, middle and an end. Usually that tells me the writer is inexperienced.

  An interesting, feasible and well thought-out idea transmitted with enthusiasm will get anyone to read a screenplay or manuscript.

  Terra Chalberg

  Associate Editor, Simon Spotlight Entertainment/Simon & Schuster

  Not being specific enough (using words like “event” or “crisis”), and telling too little of the story (as in not reaching the climax, where the character[s] must make a decision of some sort).

  Pitches that include a thoughtful analysis of the marketplace. Who would buy this book? Why? What successful titles can you compare it to?

  Sharon Y. Cobb

  Screenwriter: Lighthouse Hill; On Hostile Ground; Just Write

  Author: False Confessions of a True Hollywood Screenwriter

  As a teacher, I have heard many pitches, and the first script I wrote for real money was based on one of my original pitches.

  I also sold a movie to Fox 2000, and an MOW that aired on TBS, based on original pitches with partners. Though some of these apply more to pitch meetings than to short pitches, here are a couple of things I’ve learned over the years:

  • You must be “off-paper” when pitching. Meaning you have to memorize the pitch. That being said, I usually took “cue-cards” with me as a safety net during the pitch.

  • The pitch must be delivered like you’ve just thought of it, not like you’re repeating lines from a memorized pitch.

  • If you can’t convey your excitement about the story and characters, no one else will be excited about it.

  • Taking acting lessons helps, because to get the producer involved in the emotion of the story is difficult, but if the pitcher gets sincerely emotional about a special moment in the story, the producer may feel the emotion too.

  • Introducing characters at the beginning of a pitch and saying a line or two about them is good. But keep it down to three main characters or the producer will get confused.

  • Instead of using the characters’ names, consider using the role they play in the story, like “the father.” That way the producer doesn’t have to think, “Wait, who is Oscar?” and then get lost in the pitch.

  • There are so many common ideas out there a writer must come up with a unique twist and hyperbolic characters to get a producer’s attention.

  The biggest mistakes I see:

  • Including a bunch of secondary characters I don’t care about in the pitch. Start the pitch with an emotional hook into the main character, so I engage with his or her struggles.

  • Not enough conflict, inner and outer. The best pitches convey the hard choices the characters must make during their journey through the story.

  • An unenthusiastic tone. If the writer isn’t excited about the story and characters, I won’t be.

  • Not enough emotion. If it’s a comedy, make me laugh. If it’s a drama, make me feel sad or angry or the emotion the character is feeling. If it’s a thriller, make my heart race. If it’s a slasher movie, make me puke.

  When I was teaching at the Santa Fe Screenwriters Conference, one of my students, who was of Native American descent, told me a brief story over lunch one day. The story was fresh, emotional and made me feel the characters were real people, not manufactured entities to carry a story forward.

  The pitch broke all the rules. It wasn’t high concept. It was quiet and drew me in. I cared about the selfless characters and the heartbreaking choices they had to make. Maybe it was because the story had a setting I’d never heard before. Maybe it was the people and their struggles in the story. Whatever it was, by the end of the pitch, I knew I had to read the script.

  Devorah Cutler-Rubenstein

  CEO, The Script Broker

  Author: What’s the Big Idea? Writing Award Winning Shorts

  Calling it a short pitch may throw some folks. What people need to realize is that this first contact is a ‘snap shot’ photo op — a tease to entice a read from a buyer. Yes, short is good, but it is often not so sweet for most beginners, a little too eager to sell. Often a “pitcher” will throw it out there too fast (too much information
overload) or they will race through the story without making a focused connection (what I call a “thoughtless info dump”).

  There is an architecture to a great short pitch, just like any great dance, song or piece of art: a beginning (you connect); a middle (you develop the connection by creating a question — born of passion — that interests you both); and an end (there is realistic interest in YOU, if not in your story). Sometimes, nerves backfire and you bore with too many unimportant details.

  You gotta focus. Be clear about the big important beats. Don’t tell your story. What is it that you truly want the audience to feel? A great short pitch will make sure the genre is clear. And will make the market/demographics easily apparent. Don’t be afraid to show (not tell) you care about your story. If you don’t care (too blasé), they can’t get excited either.

  One of the best short pitches I ever heard was from agent-turned-producer/manager, Victoria Wisdom. It was one of those “Imagine you have only two days to live …” kind of pitches. Smart. Obvious. But extremely fresh. It started with two questions that were so compelling — so human and universal — that by the end of her two-minute pitch all of us in the room were dying to know how the story turned out.