I watch as Gemma intercepts him when he reaches the entrance. She’s in his class and she clearly has a thing for him. I hate that he smiles at her so brightly when he didn’t so much as look at me today. She touches his arm as they talk and the way she pushes her breasts out for him annoys me. His eyes drop to her chest and jealousy twists my stomach. Her breasts are far bigger than mine and the low-cut top she’s wearing showcases them perfectly. Even I can’t deny that Gemma is beautiful. She flirts with Carter endlessly, and he lets her. I didn’t realize until today that I’ve never actually seen him flirt with anyone. I’ve heard rumors, but I’ve never witnessed it myself. He’s always kept a polite distance from the girls at school if Kate and I were present. Carter moves closer to her and she looks up at him seductively. I bite down on my lip hard and walk past them, trying my best to pretend like I don’t care when my heart is shattering. Kate glances at me thoughtfully but doesn’t say a thing. I know I wasn’t very subtle just now, but luckily she seems to think my jealousy might just be me being in a bad mood. She’s right and I cannot go there with Carter, but I didn’t think it’d hurt so much to see him with someone else.
I’m pissed off during class. My mind keeps replaying the scene I witnessed this morning, the way he looked at her chest and the way she touched his arm. How close they stood to each other. If that’s how he discusses school projects, then it’s no wonder there are so many rumors about him. I somehow thought that what happened at the cabin was special to both of us, but now I’m wondering if I’m just another girl he’s hooked up with.
“You’ve been quiet all morning. What’s wrong?” Kate asks. I follow her to the cafeteria silently and just shake my head. “It’s nothing. I couldn’t sleep last night, I’m so exhausted,” I murmur. It isn’t a lie, but it isn’t the whole truth either. I hate having to keep things from Kate, but I can’t tell her I hooked up with her brother. Not after what she said to me at the cabin.
Kate freezes when we search for a table, our trays in hand. Her eyes zero in on Carter and Asher’s table. They’re notorious for always having lunch together and not wanting to socialize over lunch, but today there are two girls sitting with them. I recognize Gemma, and I think the other girl is Chloe. Just like this morning, Carter and Gemma are totally absorbed in each other. Much to my surprise, Asher seems to be talking to Chloe. I rarely see him with girls. He’s usually just as unapproachable as Carter.
Kate walks towards their table with a grave expression on her face and slams her tray down with force, some of her food going flying. I look at her with wide eyes. She drags a chair over from another table and sits down at their already crowded table. I just stand there, completely thrown. Eventually I snap out of it and join Kate at the table.
Carter looks up at Kate with raised brows and she freezes. He frowns and looks at her through narrowed eyes, but then he ignores her behavior and turns back to Gemma. He doesn’t even glance at me.
“What is this?” Kate asks. “A double date?”
She sounds angry and her eyes are flashing dangerously. I stare at her and then at Asher. Is she jealous? I’ve suspected that she’s had a crush on Asher for some time now, but this looks like it might be more than a crush. I can’t quite figure out what’s going on, but the way she glances at Chloe makes even me shrink away. Kate is just like Helen. She doesn’t get mad very often, but when she does she’s goes from 0 to 100 in ten seconds flat. Asher flinches when Chloe’s eyes light up and she leans into him. Her breasts brush against his arm and he looks away embarrassed. Kate’s anger peaks and I shake my head silently. If she’s trying to keep her crush a secret then she isn’t doing a very good job at all. At this rate she definitely won’t be able to keep it from Carter, which I’m sure she’s been trying to.
Or maybe she can. I glance at Carter, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off Gemma once. My heart aches when he smiles at her. She leans into him and whispers into his ear, and he grins roguishly. I don’t even want to imagine what she just said to him.
I take a bite of my food but it tastes like cardboard. I sigh and push it away. I’m not hungry anyway. Gemma finally looks at me, as though she only just noticed me. She smiles at me sweetly.
“Ah, you’re Emilia, right? The pranks you and Carter pull on each other are hilarious. I’m always anxiously awaiting what you two will do next. You seem really close,” she says. Her smile wavers at those last words, as though she’s wondering just how close we are.
Carter shrugs and answers the unspoken question. “We’re not that close. She’s just my little sister’s nuisance of a best friend. Do you really think we’d be doing the shit we do if we actually even remotely liked each other?”
I stare at him with wide eyes. What? We’re not close? I don’t think we could’ve gotten any closer last weekend. And I’m a nuisance?
I bite down on my lip harshly to keep my emotions in check and look down at my tray. Even when our little war was at its height, I always considered us to be friends. Did he always just see me as Kate’s friend instead of his own?
I try my best to smile at Gemma and nod. “Yeah, he’s right. We’re not that close. I’m just his sister’s bestie. You two look cute together, by the way.”
She looks relieved and smiles up at Carter with glowing eyes, but he’s looking at me. He looks dismayed to hear me confirm his words and I look away.
I smile politely at them and rise. “Excuse me, I’m not really hungry and I have some homework to finish anyway,” I murmur. I grab my bag and rush away, only barely able to keep my tears at bay. Kate is so wrapped up in Asher that she doesn’t even notice me leave.
Chapter 21
Carter
I walk in after an extra long training session to find Kate and Emilia on the sofa, watching some chick flick. Emilia looks up and her breath catches. She stares at my body with longing and then forcefully drags her eyes away, her expression clouding. She’s mad at me, and she has every right to be. I’ve spent all day pushing her away, and it seems I’ve accomplished what I set out to do. So why do I feel so bad?
I drop down on the sofa next to Emilia in my usual seat. I want to be mad at her for ending things before giving us a chance, but I can’t stay away from her either. I can’t even play hard to get for a whole damn day.
Emilia tries her best to focus on the chick flick she’s watching, but she keeps glancing at me. I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it, because she keeps catching herself and forcing her eyes back to the screen. It’s endearing as hell. I want to talk to her, but I don’t know what to say, especially with Kate sitting right next to her. I’m scared I pushed her too far away with the way I acted with Gemma today. I was so intent on creating distance between us, but after just a single day I’ve already had enough of it. I miss her. I miss seeing her smile and I miss talking to her. It was really tough on me to have her so close to me and not speak to her, to let Gemma fawn over me instead. I’m worried I really hurt her when I said that we aren’t close.
I’m still thinking about what to say when my phone buzzes. I grab it from my pocket and unlock it without thinking. I stare in shock at the message Gemma sent me and blink in disbelief, I only snap out of it when Emilia gasps. She looks at the photo of Gemma’s breasts with wide eyes. Her shock slowly makes way for pure agony, and I click the photo away as quickly as I can. Her eyes stay on my phone and she blinks rapidly, as though she’s trying to blink away tears. She sniffs and gets up. “I totally forgot to do Mr. Johnson’s homework,” she tells Kate, her voice trembling. “I gotta go.”
She walks away and just as she turns, I see a single tear fall down her cheek. Fuck. Emilia rushes away and slams the door behind her.
Kate frowns. “I thought she already did that. I guess she hasn’t finished it yet,” she murmurs, focusing her attention back on the movie.
I run a hand through my hair. I was mad when she said we should forget what happened between us. I wanted to show her exactly what it’d be like if I did just that, bu
t fuck. I never meant to hurt her, not like this. I don’t want her crying over me.
I get up and sneak out the house unnoticed. I walk up to Emilia’s house and fish around for her spare keys. I’ve told her multiple times not to leave it under the plant pot and to pick a safer spot for it, but thankfully she hasn’t done that yet. The house is quiet when I walk in, and suddenly I’m worried she isn’t even here. I walk to her bedroom and pause just outside of it. I can hear her crying right through the door. She sounds like she’s fucking devastated.
I open her door and she looks up when I walk in. She looks hurt and mad as hell. She grabs the first thing she can get hold of and throws it at me, but I catch the little glass globe easily and put it back on her nightstand. She sniffs and rises to her feet, pushing against me with all her strength.
“Get lost, Carter! How dare you come into my house without my permission? You’d better get lost right now,” she shouts, her voice wobbly. I sigh and throw my arms around her while she punches against my chest with her tiny little fists. She’s furious and hurting, and I hate that I did this to her. “Fuck off,” she tells me, sniffing. “I fucking hate you,” she shouts, just before a sob escapes her lips.
I just stand there, unsure what to do. I don’t know whether I should go, if I should console her, or if I should just kiss her. In the end, I decide on the latter. I thread my hand through her hair and tilt her head up gently. My lips come crashing down on hers and she kisses me back immediately. I lift her into my arms and Emilia wraps her legs around me. I place her on top of her desk and push my hips flush against hers. Her skirt bunches around her waist and she moans when my dick presses against her.
“I hate you,” she whispers, biting down on my lip. “I fucking hate you.”
I groan and kiss her harder. “I know, baby. I was wrong. I’m sorry,” I whisper in between kisses. Emilia grabs my t-shirt and lifts it up. I pull away from her and let her take it off. She’s breathing hard and looks at me like she’s drunk on lust.
Her eyes suddenly clear and she glares at me. She looks away and wraps her arms around herself. Her sudden change in attitude throws me off and I straighten awkwardly. Her expression turns sad and I sigh. “I’m sorry,” she says, sounding tortured. “I shouldn’t have kissed you back. You’re with Gemma, right? Seems like you’ve been with her for some time. I overheard her saying you took her to some coffee shop a few weeks ago. It’s not right for us to do this.”
I inhale deeply and shake my head. “Baby, no. I swear I’m not seeing her at all. Hell, I don’t even talk to her much. I was mad today, Minx. I was mad at you for pushing me away after the weekend we had. I wasn’t thinking straight and I just wanted to make you a bit jealous. I went overboard. I never meant to hurt you, Emilia. I have no idea what Gemma was thinking sending me a photo like that. I guess the little bit of attention I gave her today gave her the wrong idea.”
I can tell Emilia doesn’t believe me, but she wants to. She looks away and I grab her chin to make her face me. “Look at me, baby. I swear to you, nothing is going on with Gemma. I’ve never touched her the way I’ve touched you.”
I place my hand on my heart to show her I’m dead serious, and her expression flickers. She looks at me with a small amount of hope and my heart races. I need her to believe me. I don’t know why this matters to me so much, but I need her to know there’s no one but her.
“Did you kiss her?” she asks, her voice breaking. I shake my head. “No, Emilia. I swear.”
She nods and drops her forehead to my chest. I put my chin on top of her head and hug her tightly.
“No more tears, Minx. Please,” I whisper, wiping away the last few stray ones. She nods and shifts against me to get me closer. She hooks her leg around mine and threads her hands through my hair.
“Carter, it really fucking hurt. The way you ignored me today, seeing you with Gemma, my heart can’t take it.”
I drop my forehead to hers and close my eyes, inhaling deeply. “Minx, I’m so sorry. When you said you didn’t want to be with me, and to forget what happened between us… I get hurt too, Minx. You broke my fucking heart. Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted you? Then it finally happened and you just walk away so easily, like it was nothing.”
Another tear drops down her cheek and I catch it with my thumb. I hate that she’s hurting, I hate that we’re in this situation at all. “I’m sorry, Carter. God, I want to be with you so badly. How could you even think that walking away is easy for me? I want you with my heart and soul. You’re all I can think of, Carter. I even dream about you.”
“Then why, Emilia? Why won’t you be with me? Why would you ask me to forget it even happened?”
She sniffs and drops her forehead to my shoulder, effectively hiding her face from me. “Carter, you know why. You know Kate would lose it if we got together. Lately my friendship with her has been strained enough as it is, thanks to Gabby. She’d never forgive me if she found out we got together.”
She wraps her arms around my waist and hugs me tightly, as though she doesn’t want to let me go, but she knows she must. I sigh and rest my chin on top of her head. I don’t want to hurt Kate either, but I can’t see myself staying away from Kate.
“Carter, I’m serious. We can’t.”
I run my hand over her hair and then cup the back of her neck. “I know,” I whisper. “But I want you, Emilia.”
She leans back and looks at me with a sorrowful expression. “Carter, no more, okay? Kate would never accept it. I see your family as my own, and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize things. I can’t stab them in the back.”
I huff in annoyance. “So, what do you want to do, Minx?” I ask, annoyed. I can’t blame her for picking her friendship with my sister over me because I’ve always admired her loyalty, but it still fucking hurts. Emilia looks torn. “I don’t know… maybe we can just be friends?”
I pull away from her and turn my back to her. I stare up at her ceiling, feeling lost. I know she wants me just as much as I want her, yet we still can’t be together.
“We can try, Minx. If that’s what you really want.”
She nods, and that’s that.
Chapter 22
Emilia
My phone rings just as I walk into the Clarke’s house after school and I glance at it warily before picking up, only to hear someone roar at me, again. I have no idea what is happening but all day people have been calling me only to roar into the phone weirdly and hang up.
I frown at my phone, completely thrown. Carter looks up when I walk into the living room and bursts out laughing when he finds me staring at my phone in disbelief. I look at him through narrowed eyes and glare at him when he takes his phone out of his pocket to take a photo of me.
“You,” I say through gritted teeth. “It’s you! Why have weird people been calling me all day?”
Carter laughs and my heart flutters just a little. It’s a loud, deep and uninhibited laugh that totally transforms his face. My lips tug up at the edges as he rises from his seat and walks up to me. Just watching Carter laugh like that makes the butterflies in my stomach go wild. I can’t even stay annoyed at him.
Carter pauses in front of me and I can’t help but check him out. He’s wearing a tight black tee that showcases his muscles spectacularly and I long to be closer to him. It’s been so long since I was last in his arms. Ever since I told Carter that I wanted to just be friends we’ve stayed away from each other. We’ve been dancing around each other, toeing the line of friendship, both of us fighting our desire and our feelings for each other.
Carter stands just a little too close to me and wraps his hand around my waist. He leans into me and I place my hands on his chest, my palms flat against his pecs. I’m dying to run my hands over his body and to feel him tense underneath my touch.
“Have people been calling you and doing this?” he says, right before roaring loudly, right into my ear. I push against him angrily and he bursts out laughing again. “What did yo
u do?” I say, shaking my head. Just seeing him so pleased with himself makes my annoyance melt away.
Carter bites down on his lip cheekily and my mind wanders back to when he lifted me onto my desk and kissed me all those weeks ago. Carter’s eyes darken and his eyes drop to my lips. He inhales deeply and closes his eyes briefly before looking away. Is he thinking about the kiss too?
“Yes, that. Why have people calling me and doing that?” I say, my voice far more husky than I meant it to be. Carter grins and my heart skips a beat.
“I printed out fifty pages of an ad that promises a lucky winner a hundred dollars for the best Chewbacca impression. I stuck them all around town and put your phone number on it with instructions that said to call you, do the impression and then hang up. I wrote on it that we’d call back the winner and that we’d disqualify any phone call that lasted more than four seconds.”
I close my eyes and try my best not to burst out laughing. It’s funny as hell - I’ve gotta give him that. Annoying, but funny.
I hear the sound of Kate’s laughter behind us and I immediately take a step away from Carter, my heart filling with unease and guilt.
“You didn’t,” she says. She walks up to us and high fives Carter, earning herself a glare from me. “Kate, you’re supposed to be on my team,” I whine. She laughs and wraps her arm around my shoulder.
“I am, Milly, but this one is just really funny. Don’t worry, I’ll help you get back at him though.” She winks at me and I smile at her. I love it when Kate helps me pull pranks on Carter. When we join hands against him the pranks are always extra epic. Kate smiles as though she already has something in mind and I giggle.
She grabs my hand and pulls me up the stairs. “Okay, I have the best idea,” she tells me, a wicked grin on her face. I laugh and follow her into her room - I can’t freaking wait. Kate walks to her desk and googles images of large bugs before picking one randomly. She prints it out and gives it to me to cut out. It looks gross and I shudder just slightly.
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