No Easy Choice

by Kathryn Shay

  “I’ll remember that.”

  Annie let Izzy carry the baby through the door and to the sidewalk and then put her in the carriage. The two girls pushed it down the driveway. Tess came out with tea and handed a cup to Annie. Neither was drinking much coffee.

  They settled in Adirondack chairs on the small porch. Trees shaded them from the afternoon sun. “So, things went well?” Tess asked.

  “Really well. We needed time alone.”

  “I’m glad we could help give it to you. You seem closer.”

  “That was the best part. Getting closer.”

  Tess laughed. “I know. David and I had our first fight two days ago. He’s being way too possessive about my pregnancy and got mad when I told him to back off. He actually left his own house and slammed the door.”

  “David? Wow. He’s so mild-mannered.”

  “We settled it when he came back, and then…getting closer was wonderful.”

  The women laughed. Izzy and Maria came back past the house and pushed the carriage down the other way.

  In the bright, beautiful, hot day of the end of August, all seemed right with the world.

  Chapter 6

  The call came in for a kitchen fire in a two-story home in the center of Crystal City. When Truck 1 and Engine 2 arrived, no flames were visible.

  “Murphy and I are taking Incident Command,” Ben called out after he consulted with the lieutenant on the engine. “O’Shea, you’re in charge of the maneuver.”

  “Copy that.” His crew grabbed tools and Colin walked to the front door with them. “Pop the door, Mackenzie.”

  Trish got in front of him with a small ram which she slid between the lock and the jamb. The door flew open. And fire met them.

  “Fuck,” Callahan swore, stepping back. “I thought the fire was contained to the kitchen.”

  Into his radio, Colin said, “We need the engine now. Fire’s spread.”

  Murphy responded, “Gotcha. They’re hooking up water and laying the line.”

  Truck 1 waited a minute as the fire ate away at the little house. Two guys rushed to the door holding a hose. They bypassed the Truck crew and poised at the entrance. “I need water,” one said into the radio.

  The hose bucked but between the two of them, they controlled the line. They sprayed their way in and were joined by the one other in the company. Colin watched until they’d cleared enough room for his people to enter.

  Black smoke billowed from the back of the house and filtered out here at the entry. They dropped to their knees, hands on the wall, and crawled on the floor because of the heat.

  An engine member yelled back, “Seat of the fire’s here.”

  “Douse it. Then check the rest of the house.”

  “We were gonna, O’Shea.” His tone was impatient. Colin ignored the comment.

  “Mac, come with me. The rest of you, shine lights on us from here.” Though it was daytime, the overcast sky and the smoke made the interior dark.

  Colin took two steps past the refrigerator and the floor opened up.

  He whooshed down through it.

  * * *

  Colin and Annie’s time together the night of the wedding was wonderful, but when he left for work this morning, she felt alone again. Izzy would be over in the afternoon, thankfully.

  Dragging Bridget along to the bathroom, she set her carrier on the floor—the child cried if she couldn’t see her mama—and stepped into the shower leaving the curtain open. The hot spray energized her so when she finished, she dried her hair and dressed trying not to think too much about the let-down she was feeling. And a bit later, she said to Bridget, “I’m not giving up my friends in any case, so we might as well go to the park today.”

  The sky was full of threatening gray clouds and she’d need her car if it rained. The air outside was heavy and muggy. After packing the baby into the vehicle along with a portable stroller, they headed out.

  She entered the park at 10 a.m. and found Brent sitting on a bench in front of the jungle gym keeping an eye on Charlotte as she climbed. Cosette slept in her covered stroller. He had a magazine spread out on the table, and glanced up at her. His eyes widened. “Wow, I love the new look.”

  Self-conscious, she tugged at her hair. “We had a big wedding this weekend. The girls thought I needed something different.”

  “I don’t know about needed, but it’s great on you.” He pointed to the table. “There’s treats over there.”

  “In a bit.” She sat with the stroller next to her. Bridget watched the trees as they swayed in the slight breeze. Each day, it seemed, she was more aware of her surroundings. “Where’s everybody else?”

  “Judy had to go into school for a teacher prep day. Barbara’s oldest has the flu. Not sure where Sally is. Maybe the weather kept her away.”

  “Hmm.”

  “So, was the wedding fun?”

  “Yeah, one of my best friends married her soulmate. It was a rocky road to happiness for Trish.”

  “I’m glad she found her man.” He waited. “Sorry your husband wasn’t happy to see me last week. I shouldn’t have been so presumptuous to come to your house unannounced.”

  Uneasy, she tried for lightness. “It was fine by me, regardless of how he felt.”

  “Been married long, Annie?”

  “Ten years.”

  “You must have been a teenager when you tied the knot.”

  “I was. We fell in love in high school, he went to a two-year college, then we both entered the fire academy when I graduated. We got married as soon as we completed the course.”

  “A fairy tale.”

  “Yeah.” She thought of last weekend and their closeness. “Still is.”

  “Good to hear that.”

  “How about you? Been married long?”

  “Fifteen years. It took us a while to figure out our careers, then we had kids and you know the setup now.”

  “I never asked. Is Lily gone for long this time? You said it varies.”

  “She took a job in Seattle for the summer.”

  “Ah. Did you fly out to see her?”

  “Not this time. I hate leaving the girls with a sitter.” He scrunched his nose. “You’re stronger than I am for planning to leave Bridget at six months. I still don’t like to miss things.”

  “Hmm. Life is complicated with two working spouses and kids, isn’t it?”

  Before he could answer, her phone buzzed. She checked the ID. “Sorry, I have to take this.” She punched in accept. “Colin?”

  “No, honey, it’s Ben.” Colin’s lieutenant. “He’s been hurt in a fire and we’re following him to the hospital now.”

  Her stomach lurched at the words hurt and hospital.

  “How bad is he?”

  “He fell through a floor in a kitchen right after the engine company doused the fire. He’s awake but he’s dizzy and mumbling. His helmet and air tank hit first.”

  “Ouch.”

  “They don’t know the extent of his injuries.”

  Straightening her shoulders, she beat down panic. She was a firefighter’s wife. A firefighter. “Memorial Hospital?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’ll be right there.”

  “See you soon.”

  She stood. “I have to go, Brent.”

  Brent frowned. “Your husband was hurt?”

  “Yeah.” She got behind the stroller. “He fell through a spongy kitchen floor after the fire was out.”

  “Let me drive you.”

  “No. I have my car in case it rained.”

  “Aren’t you upset, Annie?”

  “Firefighters and their spouses don’t jump to conclusions. We wait for all the information.”

  “Still.”

  “I can handle this. See you again soon.”

  Despite her assurances, she was concerned. And feeling a bit guilty—she was with Brent when her husband was injured.

  * * *

  Colin lay back on the pillows in an ER treatment a
rea, trying to clear his head. He was still dizzy. And his eyesight had stayed blurry. But he could see Annie well enough when she came through the door. “Hey.”

  She rushed to his bedside. “Hey. How hurt are you, really?”

  They’d made a pact ten years ago. They’d be brutally honest with each other if one of them was injured, about how they felt, inside and out. And they’d do what needed to be done.

  “I think I have a concussion. I never fell on my SCBA before. I’m nauseous, and my head hurts like hell.”

  “I can help with both.” A man behind them spoke.

  Colin recognized the white coat. And someone in blue scrubs behind it.

  “I’m Tim Pratt. Senior resident. This is Laura Edwards, an RN.” They crossed to the bed, and Annie stepped away. With a small pen light, the doctor examined Colin’s eyes, then asked him to follow his fingers. “Do those bruises on your face hurt?”

  Colin reached up. “A bit. They must be from the jarring of the facemask.”

  “Pain anywhere else?”

  “Normal body aches from falling on my back.”

  “You’re not following my finger well. And you’re blurry-eyed. Along with that, the nausea confirms a concussion. Would

  you lean in so I can examine your head?”

  Colin sat forward and struggled not to groan.

  “You have a hematoma the size of a golf ball.” He turned to the nurse. “I want to clean it to see if he needs stitches.”

  The woman put liquid on a gauze pad and gave it to the doctor, who applied it to his wound. Colin hissed. When Pratt finished, Colin sat back. “Just a big bruise, Annie.” She’d be strong but he knew her heart would be beating a clip.

  Pratt shook his head. “Firefighters make the worst patients. It’s a serious bruise and will need to be iced.” Laura handed Colin an ice pack.

  “I’ll examine the rest of you now. He checked Colin’s limbs and listened to his heart. “You’re okay otherwise.”

  The doctor made some notes on a tablet. “Someone will bring you more ice in forty minutes. I assume you know, but twenty on, twenty off. You can have mild acetaminophen. And the concussion will need to be watched.”

  “I can do that,” Annie put in. “I’m an EMT, too.”

  “Hmm.” He glanced from her to Colin. “Wait two hours in here then I’ll check on you. If you’re basically the same as you are now, I’ll discharge you. With a promise of no activity for three days. And you can’t go back to work for a week.”

  “A whole week?” Colin was surprised.

  “This isn’t something to fool around with. You have a moderate concussion. Not mild and not severe. If you had a desk job, you’d only have to wait 3-4 days. But you’re a firefighter.” He faced Annie. “He has to stay awake for three to six hours today, so make sure he does, but it’s a myth that he doesn’t get to sleep at all.”

  Annie said, “We’ll follow orders, Dr. Pratt.”

  The doctor squeezed Annie’s arm. “You can relax, now, Mrs. O’Shea. He’s going to be fine.”

  “My crew’s out in the waiting area,” Colin told him. “Can they come in?”

  “Two at a time, but they shouldn’t stay long.”

  Pratt and his nurse left and Annie sat on the mattress. She touched his face where there were no bruises. “You feel shitty, don’t you?”

  “Really shitty. But it could have been a lot worse.” He squeezed her hand which was cold. “We followed the hose in and when they finished in the kitchen, I took one step forward and the floor they’d just vacated gave out.”

  “Bad luck.”

  “Yeah. I could have tested to see if it was spongy but two big men had been standing right in the same space seconds before.”

  “Lesson learned, huh?”

  “I guess. But a full week recovery?”

  “That’s what he said. And you will rest. We can cancel our appointment with Suzanne.”

  “No. That’s three days away. You know most concussions resolve by then.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Where’s Bridget?”

  “Trish and Jodi Pearson have her out in the waiting area. Do you want to see her?”

  “Not yet.” He linked their fingers. “Sit with me a bit. You make me feel better.”

  She kissed his nose. “That’s how it’s supposed to work, babe.”

  * * *

  Three days later, Annie drove them to Branson County Fire Academy where their first counseling session would take place in Suzanne Blakely’s office. Colin reached over and put his hand on her knee. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

  She chuckled. “You’re an excellent patient. You always have been. I love that about you. Your father had a great time when he spent the afternoon with you yesterday.” She and Cora had gone out for lunch.

  “Me, him and Bridget watched the soccer match in England.” Blowing out a heavy breath, Colin gazed out the window. “You and I haven’t talked about how today will go.”

  “We decided not to.” She saw the tautness of his jaw. “Are you nervous about the session?”

  “Yeah. You?”

  Annie had been so worried about him, she didn’t have time to be nervous. “Not much.”

  Colin shrugged. “Well, we’ll be there for each other. And we’ll be honest, right?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Once inside the building, they took the elevator to the second floor. As the door opened, she heard the low buzz of activity and smelled the coffee. And saw Tess standing a few feet away talking to Brooke. She hadn’t told the Sisters of Fire about the counseling.

  “Hey, you two.” Annie crossed to them. “Doing good?”

  “Yeah.” Brooke stared over her shoulder. “Colin, so glad to see you up and around.”

  “Yeah, it’s good to feel better. I have four more days off work, though. I wish I didn’t.”

  “He’s studying for the written part of the lieutenant’s exam.”

  “You’ll ace it,” Brooke put in. “As a rookie, you aced all the tests.”

  “He did.”

  “We’re seeing Suzanne Blakley today,” Colin said softly. “She didn’t tell you because she didn’t want to ruin the extended bliss of Trish’s wedding.”

  “Suzanne’s top notch.” Tess smiled. “We all adore her.”

  They left Annie’s friends and Colin said, “I thought I’d break the ice.”

  “You did.”

  Suzanne was at the doorway to welcome them. Annie saw Colin do a doubletake, the reaction of most men when they got up close and personal to this woman, even if they’d heard her speak in workshops and met her periodically.

  Annie took in her blond hair, piled high on her head, her gold necklace, and ice-blue short-sleeved top and white capris. Worn with white heels. Annie hadn’t even owned a pair of heels anymore. Except those she bought to go with her bridesmaid dress.

  “Come on in and sit,” Suzanne told them. When they were all in chairs, the counselor smiled. “We’ve met several times over the years, but I don’t think I know how long you two have been in the CCFD?”

  “Ten years for us both.” This from Colin. “I went to a college for two years on fire suppression while Annie finished high school. We joined the department after she graduated.”

  “Have you been married that long?”

  “Yes.” Annie spoke this time. “We have a new baby.”

  “Ah. Want to tell me why you’re here?”

  They looked at each other. Annie could tell from Colin’s expression he wanted her to talk first. “We’re having some trouble organizing our life since Bridget came along.”

  “That could mean a lot of things. And I’ll bet it means something different for both of you.” She gestured to the table. “See those two pads and pens. Take one, each of you. Write down how you’re having trouble. Then you’re going to read these out loud. It doesn’t help to keep secrets in counseling.”

  They wrote.

  “Colin, read yours first.”


  He cleared his throat. “My job is too time consuming because I’m pursuing a lieutenancy. Annie’s lonely. She’s made friends that worry me. Sometimes I get mad because I’m doing the best I can and it doesn’t seem enough for her. But mostly I’m scared I’m going to lose her. I don’t know what I’d do if that happened. She’s my life.”

  “Wow, that’s honest and…painful. Annie?”

  “You can check this if you want, but I put down, I’m afraid I’m going to lose Colin. I can’t live without him. Same as him. We hardly fought before the baby was born. Her birth has changed things. I get mad because I feel I’m doing all the parenting. He did quit his job at his parents’ garage but then this promotion came up and filled what time he had at home. There’s one more thing: Colin’s jealous of a guy in the playgroup that meets at the park a few days a week. I’m not giving up my friends because of some absurd objection.”

  Suzanne sat back. “No need to check your work, Annie. I believe you’re both afraid of losing each other. That’s good, guys, really good. Some couples who come to me can’t stand each other.”

  Colin nodded.

  “What about your backgrounds? I should know about that.”

  Annie started. “I had a wonderful mother for sixteen years, then she died of cancer. She and Cora, Colin’s mother, were friends. Also, Colin and I had dated for a year. He was frantic about what would happen to me. So, they took me in.”

  “That’s interesting. How did it go?”

  “Super. They treated me like a daughter. After Colin graduated, as he said, he went to Bingham for two years but we saw each other every weekend. I stayed with his parents. We got married after we finished the recruit class at the fire academy.”

  “You can stop there. Colin?”

  “Pretty much what she said.”

  “What about before she came to live with you. Any big things happen in your life?”

  “My two older brothers were out on their own by the time Annie came to live with us. They…I’m not sure how to put this—were, are, bad with money. One went bankrupt and is still floundering. The other borrowed money from mom and dad which he never paid back. He can’t control his finances, either.”