Defiant

by Ursula Sinclair

  “I don’t want you to be hurt. I need to find Bruno.”

  Or, Becky at the very least.

  Somehow, I needed to get to the bottom of this bullshit, now. Waiting wouldn’t work. The Prof had already laid the framework, and hell if I would bend over and let the SOB continue to fuck me. “I need to leave. I have to find them.”

  She shook her head. “What are you talking about? Find who?”

  “I have to go.” I pulled my hand free. I couldn’t—wouldn’t give Harper problems. First, I had to sort out the mess I suspected was waiting for me. Who knew what the Prof would do if I couldn’t be found.

  “Whatever is going on in your head, stop it. Let’s go home and talk. I need to understand what is happening and what you’re thinking.”

  “I can’t hurt anyone else.” I hung my head.

  The pain and remorse of what I’d done morphed into anger. The overwhelming feeling that my brothers had betrayed me riled in my belly. I’d be damned if I would let them ruin anymore of my life.

  “It will be alright. We will figure this out.”

  I wasn’t ready to walk away, but I understood what needed to happen. It could very well come down to me walking into a police station and telling them everything. I shook my head. Snitching—that wasn’t something I would do. This—this situation I would handle it my way. Putting Harper in the middle of that wasn’t right. I was a bastard but not that much of a bastard—yet. I reclaimed her hand. “We have tonight.” Tomorrow I would start the hunt for the assholes I was sure were trying to fuck me.

  Gage.

  I might not be able to find the key players of this bullshit fiasco, but Gage, he wasn’t the type to hide.

  I stared down at Harper. From our first meeting, she’d gotten under my skin. The last thing I wanted to do was lose her before we even really began. The only way to keep her and my dad safe, might be by walking away.

  She held my gaze for a long time.

  “Let’s go to your place.” I couldn’t smile. So many dark thoughts in my head made it hard—impossible to feel anything but negativity. I didn’t know how to reassure her.

  She cocked her head to the side, and her dreads brushed her shoulders. I reached out and fingered it. Its softness tickled my fingers, continuing to surprise me. Yeah, I would give myself one more night with Harper, then I would have to make some hard decisions.

  “I really need you right now.” And, I did. I didn’t want to think about all the bullshit that happened to me in the last twelve hours. I didn’t want to feel all the emotions that threatened to overtake me. I had to be smart and take control of the situation I’d been put in. The only person who would get this now was Harper.

  After tonight though, I would find Gage, Becky or Bruno. Somebody was going to explain to me what the fuck happened. Those bastards owed me for the death of my mother and all of them would pay. I didn’t have to go searching for the Prof just yet. That fucker would be easy to find, and he would be the last man I went after. I exhaled and followed Harper into the building.

  25

  Harper

  I opened my condo and entered first, holding the door open so Dachs could come in behind me. I turned to shut the door as soon as he entered but found myself crowded against it, face first. The coolness of the wood bled into my cheek.

  What was it about this man? One look, one touch from him and my common sense—hell, anything having to do with intellect, flew right out the window—far and fast. I doubted it would return anytime soon. Damnit, we needed to talk. If he thought I’d let him handle this by himself, he had another thing coming. Then, he ground himself against my ass.

  Okay. Talk later.

  Right now, all I could concentrate on was the feel of him pressed against me.

  He took my hands, and my purse dropped to the floor. He raised my hands above my head and held them against the wood as he pressed his body into mine.

  Sweet Jesus!

  My eyes drifted shut as I fell head first into the pleasure coursing throughout my body as he pushed against me. None of last night had been my imagination. The current driving us to each other was as strong as ever—maybe even stronger.

  I could feel the length of his all too familiar cock pressing into my ass. So, I pushed back. He moved one of his hands but continued to hold onto both of mine. That free hand of his moved my jacket aside and roamed down the side of my sweater until he got his hand under it and touched my skin.

  Well damn.

  His ungloved hand was cool against my body, but that’s not what caused my shudder. That would be the spark inside me he started. Slowly, he glided that hand higher until his thumb brushed against the side of my bra, seeking until he could rub it over my nipples. I moaned.

  “You like that?”

  “You know I do. More,” I managed to get out.

  I felt his leg between my thighs, nudging mine farther apart, then he moved his hand down the front of my body, looking for a button on my pants, I guessed but these were leggings. I like leggings and stretchy jeans. He must have figured that out because he slid his hand inside the stretchy waistband and moved it downward.

  His fingers spanned out, and he stroked me. “Have mercy. You’re wet already, baby.”

  I grinned. I was bare. I already knew from last night how much he liked it. Most men did.

  Then I felt his thumb. He flicked it against my clit, then pressed against it. My pussy spasmed.

  “My God. I need you,” Dachs groaned against my ear.

  He slid a finger inside me, and I sunk down into him, trying to get more of his finger. He pushed up and pulled down to meet my movements. He released my hands, so he could move the hair away from my neck; he buried his face against it and rubbed against me. He continued to stroke his finger in and out of me.

  “Love the way you fucking smell. You took a bath this morning. I can’t smell me on you anymore. I want your scent all over me. I will put mine all over you.”

  “Yes, Dammit, yes.”

  I turned my head toward him. It was awkward, but our lips managed to connect. Our tongues played around each other, but it wasn’t enough. We both needed so much more. I know I did. In seconds his finger was out of me. I felt its absence more than I could have ever imagined. He quickly spun me around to face him and bending, effortlessly, picked me up.

  “Bedroom,” I whispered.

  The low lights under the kitchen cabinets were on, providing enough light to see the kitchen area but also enough to show him the way. There were several doors in the room; he knew which one was my bedroom. It was a two-bedroom condo, so he didn’t have far to walk. I wrapped my arms around him as he strode to my bedroom door. It wasn’t closed all the way, and he used his foot to shove it open more.

  He moved right for the bed and placed me on it. He hovered briefly over me. Shadows ventured in this room—too many. I needed to see him and told him so. Last night we came together in a dark room. Now, I wanted us to see each other, open fully, nothing hidden—no secrets, just the two of us.

  “I want to see you, open the drapes.”

  Dachs glanced over at the windows that were on either side of the bed and did as I asked. I kicked off my shoes and settled against the pillows on my king sized bed. I like a lot of room and the bedroom was large enough that it fit.

  Light spilled in. I didn’t worry about neighbors. I was on the twentieth floor, and the nearest building as tall as this one was a block over. But, the light that filtered in now was more than enough for me to see the desire in Dachs’ eyes. I smiled when he sat on the bed and reached out to grab one of my locks. He rubbed it between his fingers then tightened his hold on it, tugging slightly to draw me toward him.

  “You are so damn beautiful.”

  He placed his lips over mine, claiming me once more. I felt his hand at the back of my head sealing me to him. He tasted like everything I’d ever wanted in my life. After everything that went on today, how was this happening? I didn’t know nor did I care.
I couldn’t. This was about us, no one else. He needed me tonight. There was no hate in this room.

  He pulled back, and I followed him, but his hands moved to my shirt, and he took it off. I reached around to undo my bra and dropped it on the cover. His eyes immediately zeroed in on my nipples. My chest rose and fell in reaction to that look.

  “So beautiful.” He raised his hand and touched my left breast with his thumb. Circling the areole, before holding it in his hand. Leaning forward, he encircled it with his mouth and began to lick it with the tip of his tongue.

  I moaned again, and this time, I was the one holding his head to me. I tilted my head back and settled more comfortably into my bed. I felt him sitting up, and I opened my eyes to pull him back, but he only moved to unlace his boots. I sat up and tugged his jacket off, then reached for his shirt. Slow is all well and good, and I like slow. Right now, though, I wanted him out of that white shirt. The shirt that still smelled a little like smoke and had a spot of blood. At least he wasn’t wearing those heinous red suspenders. I didn’t want to think about the smoke, the blood or any of it. Those things had no place here—not with us, not now, not ever again.

  I began tugging at that shirt, but he had to unbutton it. I think he might have been in a rush too because I think he might have popped a couple of the buttons. His mouth clamped onto mine again as we reached for each other, unable to be apart for even a second more than we had to be.

  His hands moved to my leggings to pull them off me, and my hands moved to his waist to find his belt and tug it off. I raised my legs to help him get my leggings off one leg, and he shifted so I could unzip him. But we both had to stop touching each other for a moment, so he could get his damn pants off, and I could lose the leggings.

  He pulled my underwear off until we were both naked. My eyes roamed over the ink on his skin; I hadn’t really been able to see much last night. Most of it was beautiful, the Celtic crosses over both halves of his chest and the bands on his biceps. He sat near my waist and just stared at me. My attention was diverted when his cock twitched. He was long, thick, and hard. I started to reach toward him, to touch him, but then he stretched out beside me. We both turned to face each other. He placed his hand on my hip. When he stared at me with a storm in his azure eyes, I knew that this time, what we were about to do, what we were about to become, would change both of our lives. I reached for him and drew him to me because this was what I always knew we would be.

  When he slid into my canal we both breathed a sigh of relief. His body in mine felt like I was welcoming him home. I opened for him, knowing I always would.

  He nudged his arms under my legs, spreading me wider for him while he nestled over me. His lips captured mine, and my eyes fluttered as he flexed forward, filling me completely. I could feel his cock throbbing against my inner walls, and I shuddered against him. He paused for a moment, and then, he began to move—long slow strokes at first, pulling out not quite to his tip before pushing forward again. I moaned, tightening my ass and shifting my hips upward, trying to get him to move forward faster. The feel of his mouth over mine lessened slightly as I could feel him smile against my lips. I opened my eyes, and he pulled back staring at me.

  Dachs held my gaze as he surged all the way in until he could go no farther. Yet, he’d gone farther than anyone ever had because he touched my heart. It thumped against my chest, for a moment I couldn’t breathe. My eyes filled with tears, but they were ones of joy, I smiled up at him. I let him see me, who I really was, and as I looked at him, I saw his heart in his eyes too.

  He kissed the tears from my eyes, rubbed his cheek against mine and then he began to move. His strokes came faster and stronger than they had before, and I moved with him. A storm broke inside us, our cries rose in synchronicity, in a day of such sadness, these were ones filled with hope and satisfaction. Together we created our own tempest that no one and nothing could stop. A promise was made then, silent but real.

  Nothing could stand between us. He is mine.

  26

  Dachs

  Sunlight poured through the windows and illuminated Harper’s body. Under the beams, her tanned skin was radiant. I gazed down my body; her arm lay wrapped around my middle, and her face was buried against my neck. A thin sheet draped across our waists. I eased from her embrace, sliding to the edge of the mattress. It—no—she was becoming a habit, and I didn’t want to leave but knew I had to.

  It wasn’t right starting something with Harper when I was mired in this bullshit. First, I needed to check on my dad. I knew what he meant about staying away, but he was all I had left. No way was I going to abandon him. Then I needed to track down Becky. She would probably be easier to find than fuckboy Bruno or Gage. I am no snitch, but I had one Hail Mary option. If all else failed, then I would walk through the damn doors of a police station and turn state’s evidence. Whatever it took to keep the ones I love safe even if it meant disappearing and becoming a puppet for the fucked up judicial system.

  I lifted Harper’s arm up by the wrist and laid it on the spot I had occupied. A sense of déjà vu shuttered through me. It took some time to find my clothes, still it didn’t take as much time as the day before. The urge to wake her was overwhelming. I needed to get out of there, fast, or I wouldn’t leave. I dressed in the living room and searched for paper and a pen. I found a loose sheet lodged between a stack of books and a pencil beside them.

  There are some things I need to take care of. I’ll call you later. How did I end the note? Tell her I love her? Did I even know what that was? Things were moving fast…I wanted to protect her, keep her with me. Was that love? I shook my head. I was making things more complicated than they were. There was no time to think about it. She was important to me, and that was what counted. I signed the note with a simple D. I slipped from her condo and once again felt like a thief for sneaking away.

  In the elevator I pulled my phone free and tapped the screen, searching for my dad’s number in my contact list. I know he didn’t want me to contact him, but how could I not? It rang through to voicemail. I moved on and found Becky’s number. She picked up on the second ring.

  “Hello.” Her voice was shaky. “Dachs?”

  “Where the fuck is Bruno?” The elevator doors slid open, and I stepped into the lobby and marched through the exit.

  “I don’t know.” She paused. “Prof is looking for you.”

  “You knew, didn’t you?” She had to. If we were in the same fucking room together I would strangle the bitch.

  “I didn’t know someone would die.”

  “That someone was my mom. My mom.” Pain morphed to fury and sizzled through my being. I resisted the urge to run. I couldn’t move fast enough. “How could you not? They were fucking bombs!” My voice rose. I had to look around to make sure I wasn’t drawing attention to myself. I trotted down the street. The subway was a couple of blocks away. “Where are you?”

  “The police picked me up yesterday. I spent the night being interrogated. I just got home. Prof will be proud. I didn’t tell them anything.” Becky was rambling. “They tried to say we’re terrorists. I told them they were wrong. We are exercising our right to protect our race.”

  A thought struck me. Did I sound this damn crazy? I had to keep her calm or else I wouldn’t get the information I needed. “Where is the Prof?” I was going to find someone, today. “Gage?”

  “I don’t know, haven’t seen the Prof since yesterday afternoon.” she sobbed. “All I did was sign my name to a piece of paper. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t hurt anybody!”

  Becky was losing her shit. I sucked in a breath, tapping my anger down. “I know you didn’t, babe. I really need to talk to someone, Bruno, maybe. Do you have any idea where he might have gone?” Bruno was wanted for a murder charge in Jersey, so he wouldn’t go home—or would he? The best way to hide was in plain sight.

  “I only did what I was told,” she repeatedly mumbled.

  Becky was a victim as much as I was and her ind
octrination to the Prof went a shitload deeper than mine did. Talking to Becky wouldn’t get me anywhere. I ended the call. It was better to face the devil head on. Change of plans. I scrolled down the contact list and tapped the Prof’s number. He answered right away.

  “It’s about time you called me. Where are you?”

  My mentor was too calm. A niggle of distrust fluttered at the back of my mind. “I’m around.” I knew the fucker well. He must have had several plans figured out and only God knew which one he was on.

  Tread carefully.

  The words scrolled through my head.

  “The police are looking for you.”

  “Funny, I heard it was you searching for me. Where’s Bruno?” I didn’t have time to play games.

  “I know you didn’t mean for any of this to happen but, son, you need to contact the police and sort everything out. Explain how you planned the attack with a few other group members. The police already know everything.”

  WTF? “We both know who did what.” I needed to cut the call short. A faint click piggy backed our conversation. Was the line tapped? The bastard needed to die. “I’m coming for you.” I pulled the cell from my ear, and my finger hovered over the screen.

  “Wait!”

  I could feel the set-up. Knew in my heart Prof was saving his own skin.

  “You want me. Come get me. I am at the headquarters.”

  I stabbed the end button. Cell phones could easily be traced. Prof had already set up his alibi and most likely laid everything down at mine and Bruno’s feet. I yanked the sim card free from my cell and dropped it in the trash. If my phone happened to fall into anyone else’s hands they wouldn’t have access to my contact list. Then I turned off my phone before I entered the subway station. I was foolish for making the calls, and I would pay for it. My stupidity in general was fucking epic. I snagged a seat at the end of the car with my back to the wall and could easily see who was coming and going.