The Secret of Santa

by Liz Isaacson

  “I’d like to have a family prayer,” he said. “Aunt Dawna, will you say it?”

  She nodded, though she looked a tiny bit afraid. Bear put one hand on Sammy’s shoulder at the table, and one on his mother’s. He closed his eyes and listened as Aunt Dawna said, “Dear Lord, we beseech thee for an outpouring of Thy spirit for any and all in this room. We ask the same blessing on Ace, Ranger, and Ward, who are not with us but that we hope will return soon. All should be welcome here, and we ask Thee to please soften our hearts so that all members of this family feel like they belong here, that they are important to the success of this ranch and to each other, and that we can have hearts that have an infinite capacity to love.

  “We’re grateful for those new additions to our family. For Duke Rhinehart, and Montana Martin and her daughter, Aurora, for Oakley and The General, for Holly Ann Broadbent, and for dear Sammy and Lincoln. Please help them to forgive us for being so loud and so big and so secretive. Bless us all to trust each other more and keep less secrets and simply to be and do better. Amen.”

  “Amen,” Bear whispered, opening his eyes to the same room and the same people who’d been there before. Something had changed though, and it sure seemed like perhaps they could all move forward together, united as a family.

  In the resulting silence, it wasn’t hard to hear the front door open. Three pairs of footsteps entered, and Ranger filled the archway that led into the foyer first. Then Ward.

  Finally, Ace stepped between them, his eyes already on the floor. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I sort of went crazy, and I apologize to anyone whose secret I told. It was not my place to do so, though I would appreciate it if no one asks me to keep a secret from any other member of this family in the future. I obviously can’t do it, so it won’t be safe with me anyway.”

  Bear grinned, because Ace was right. With his outburst, he’d just proven he was a terrible secret-keeper. He grinned, because it took strength and guts to come back to a crowd and apologize. He grinned, because Ward and Ranger were, and when they started laughing, Bear joined in.

  “So they broke up?” Bear asked Sammy a couple of mornings later.

  “Yes,” Sammy said from her side of the bed.

  Bear sat down and reached to pull on his boots. “That’s too bad. I thought they were real good together.” No wonder Ace had gone crazy the other night. He’d just learned a secret Holly Ann had been keeping from him, and they’d broken up mere moments before he’d stormed inside the homestead and blown open several landmines in the Glover family.

  Cactus had retreated to the Edge Cabin, and no one had heard from him or seen him since. Duke and Zona had left the party really fast after the family prayer, and Bear didn’t blame them one bit. If they ever came back, he’d be surprised.

  Mother had told everyone remaining that she and Donald Parker had been seeing each other for four months. Four. Months. Bear still experienced a stupor of thought every time he tried to imagine his mother sneaking off the ranch to go out with her secret boyfriend.

  Ward, Ranger, and Ida had worked things out, as had Mister. So those two revelations hadn’t been too damaging, thank goodness. Neither had Etta’s new relationship. She’d claimed she was taking things slow and introducing someone to a family as large as the Glovers took time. Bear could see that side of things easily, and he didn’t fault her for keeping her new boyfriend in the shadows for a bit.

  “They are really good together,” Sammy said. “They’ll get back together.”

  “Will they?”

  “Of course.” Sammy looked over at him. She’d stopped going into the shop early in the morning, and Bear liked that she had more relaxing days, especially since she was only nine weeks away from her due date now. “Haven’t you seen them look at each other, Bear? They’re in love. It’ll work out.”

  “Will it?”

  “We did,” she said. “Ranger and Oakley did. Ace and Holly Ann will too.”

  “I wonder what her secret was, though,” Bear said. “If it’s a really big one, maybe Ace won’t be able to get past it.” Bear stood up and walked around to her side of the bed. “Love you, sweetheart. Are you going in today at all?”

  “No,” she said. “The shop’s closed until the New Year.” She looked up from her tablet and received his kiss. “We’re still okay to give my guys their pay, though, right? And holiday bonuses?”

  “Yep.” Bear pressed his cheek to hers. “I can help you with the payroll when I get back.”

  “I can do stuff, Bear.”

  “I know,” he said, falling back a step. “I just don’t want you to have to.” He crossed the room to the door. “I’m taking Link and Benny out to the pastures with me. Go back to sleep if you want.”

  “Okay,” she said. “Be safe.”

  Bear left the bedroom, collected Lincoln and Benny from the couch in the living room, and together they all went downstairs. Bishop scrambled eggs at the stove, and they ate together while Lincoln told them all about some new video game that was coming out in a couple of months.

  “Come on, bud,” Bear said after he’d finished eating. “We’re rotating the herd this morning. Gotta take out some new salt licks, and make sure their water isn’t frozen.”

  Lincoln skipped alongside him as if such chores were made of gold. Bear loved the boy’s enthusiasm, and he considered driving out to Cactus’s just to see how he was doing.

  An hour later, Bear had just gotten back in the truck when his phone rang. He tapped on the screen to connect the call through the Bluetooth, and he held his hands up to the vents, which blew warm air onto his cold skin.

  “Bear?”

  “What’s up, Jeremiah?” Jeremiah Walker owned Seven Sons Ranch, only about fifteen minutes from Shiloh Ridge. They attended ranch owners meetings together in town, and they’d worked together on a couple of collaborative agriculture projects.

  Bear knew all the Walkers, and he liked them all. Sammy did some work for them from time to time, and they’d even attended their mother’s parties after the completion of her law degree.

  “I just got off the phone with Pete.” Jeremiah sounded tired already, and winter ranching had a way of doing that to a man. “Squire’s father died.”

  Bear’s heart fell all the way to the floor in less time than a person could blink. “Oh, no.” His thoughts flew to Squire Ackerman, another ranch owner, this time of a ranch much farther north than Shiloh Ridge. He’d known Squire for two decades, and he was a good man. A good father, and a dedicated son.

  “How’s Heidi?” Bear asked, thinking of Frank Ackerman’s wife. She owned and operated the best bakery in town, and Bear couldn’t imagine how it must feel to lose a spouse. His mother could, though, and Bear swallowed again as he thought of how lonely she must’ve been in the early days following Daddy’s death.

  How lonely she still was.

  “Pete didn’t say. The bakery is closed today. Ivory had gone to get something, and she said there’s a big yellow sign on the door that says they’ll be fulfilling holiday orders only, and that they’ll then be closed through the New Year.”

  Bear shook his head, his thoughts scattering with the emotion. “This is too bad,” he said.

  “The funeral is on Friday,” Jeremiah said. “Whit and I will be there.”

  “I’m sure I can be there too,” Bear said. Squire had done a lot for Bear and Shiloh Ridge, and he liked to think he’d done a lot for Squire and Three Rivers Ranch. “I’ll talk to Sammy, but I don’t see why she wouldn’t be able to come.”

  “Sounds good,” Jeremiah said. “I’m gonna call Britt. I’m thinking maybe a few of us can go out to Three Rivers and see Squire. Just to show support.”

  “Have you talked to Wade?” Bear asked.

  “Not yet.”

  “I’ll call him,” Bear said, as he had one more thing to talk to the man about. No more secrets, he thought as Jeremiah agreed and then the call ended. It was time for Bear to make sure both Wade and Duke knew there were n
o hard feelings between their two ranches. Zero. None. What’s done was done.

  Especially Duke, and he was going to be part of their extended family very soon, and Bear didn’t want Zona to stop coming around because she was uncomfortable about what might be said about her or what questions she might get asked.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Squire Ackerman felt like he was drowning. He watched his wife, Kelly, help their daughter with something on her dress. They spoke, and Kelly smiled softly at Libby before drawing her into a hug.

  Libby was a sweet girl who’d loved her grandfather dearly. She was the only granddaughter, and Squire’s father had spoiled her relentlessly. If anyone was going to miss his dad more than him, it would be Libby.

  Yet he couldn’t get himself to leave the mouth of the hallway and go comfort her. He couldn’t get his voice to work, or his mind to think, or his feet to move.

  “Baby,” Kelly said, somehow appearing in front of him. “Your tie’s not even on right.” She began fixing it, and Squire stood there, his heart beating and his eyes blinking, but only because he didn’t have to tell his body to do those things.

  Kelly finished and smoothed down his collar. “Squire,” she said sharply, and he blinked his attention to her. “You have to be present today. You’ll be upset if you’re not.”

  “I’m present,” he managed to say.

  “No, you’re not,” she said as the back door opened and Finn walked in with the younger boys. “Look at me.”

  Squire moved his eyes back to hers. She’d been by his side for almost fifteen years now. They had three children together, and a family of four kids. He counted Finn as his, though his biological dad wouldn’t give permission for Squire to adopt the boy. He never came around, and he never called, and he never sent gifts. In all ways except the legal one, Finn was Squire’s son.

  He loved him with the strength of the sun, and as he came toward Squire, life returned to him one shade at a time. Breath rushed at him, and Squire sucked in a breath.

  “There you are,” Kelly said, and Squire reached out and took her hand in his, squeezing it tightly.

  “Dad,” Finn said. “Uncle Pete and Aunt Chelsea just left.”

  Squire nodded and drew his sons into his side. He pulled Kelly and Libby toward him, and the six of them stood together, his arms trying to get around all of them though they couldn’t quite reach.

  “We’re going to be okay,” he whispered. “We’re going to miss Granddaddy, but he’s with the Lord now, and we’ll be all right.”

  Libby sniffled, as did the two younger boys, Michael and Samuel.

  “Sam, you make sure you get the program for our memory box,” Kelly said. “Mikey, you need to sit by Rich to help keep him quiet during the service. He likes you best, and I put those gummy worms in your bag.”

  “Yes, Mama,” Mike said.

  “Libby, you’re going to stay right by Grandma,” Kelly continued. “And Squire, you’re going to make sure you don’t zone out.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Squire said, giving her a small smile. He loved her with everything he had, and he looked at Finn. “What’s his job?”

  “His job is to make sure I don’t break down.” Kelly’s face scrunched with emotion, and she reached for Finn. They hugged, and then she said, “All right. We need to go so we’re not late.”

  Everything took time out at Three Rivers Ranch. Their land sat forty-five minutes from the town of Three Rivers, and Squire had worked through many, many problems on the drive to or from the ranch. He’d had meaningful talks with his children, his wife, and his mother and father.

  He’d learned to love the drive, even if it didn’t provide the framework for an important conversation or a problem-solving session. The drive could remind him of the beauty of God’s earth. It sometimes gave him the peace and quiet he couldn’t find at the homestead as the children grew in their opinions and bodies. It sometimes just allowed him time to think, remember who he was, and refocus his attention where it needed to be.

  He closed his eyes and thanked God for his blessings, of which he had many. He was able to employ dozens of people here at the ranch. He lived across the street from his best friend and his sister. He housed an equine therapy unit for Pete, a boarding stable for Tad Jorgenson, and a training facility for Brynn Greene, all operations that helped countless people here in Texas and around the world.

  As Kelly led the children out to the garage and the big family truck they drove to town when they went all together, Squire thought through the huge operation he was responsible for here. To think he hadn’t wanted it once. To think he’d walked away for years while he earned his veterinary degree.

  “Everything we have here is because of Granddaddy,” he told the kids as he buckled his seat belt. “He worked this ranch so well, and he built the house we live in.”

  “By himself?” Sam asked, and Squire smiled at him in the rearview mirror.

  “He had help, but he did a lot of it by himself.” He backed out of the garage and got the truck going in the right direction down the dirt lane. They weren’t the only ones leaving the ranch this morning, as the seventeen cowboys that lived and worked here at the ranch had all known his father. Everyone loved Daddy, even though he could be rough around the edges in the beginning.

  The drive today happened quickly despite the distance. Everyone in the car stayed silent, and once Squire parked at the church, he felt like he could breathe. The sight of the stained glass windows against the bright white exterior brought him comfort, and he put his arm around Finn’s shoulders.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” Finn nodded. “I just…what should I do with the Christmas present I got for Granddaddy?”

  Squire swallowed, glancing at Kelly as she joined him. She hugged herself, and Squire started toward the church. “I think we should have a present-opening with Grandma,” he said. “I’ll talk to her about it.”

  Kelly looked at him and slipped one hand through his arm. He led his family into the church and went down the hall toward the room where they’d hold the viewing. People had already started to queue up, and Squire stopped to talk to a couple of friends from the tack and feed store.

  Kelly got distracted by her cousin Crystal, and it took several long minutes for the whole family to make it into the room. The viewing wouldn’t start for another ten minutes, and Squire ran his hand along the bottom half of the casket and gazed at his father’s peaceful face.

  Chelsea, his sister, pressed in close behind him, and Squire ducked his head as she leaned hers against his bicep. He didn’t have to say anything, and Chelsea didn’t either. She’d never imagined that she’d return to Three Rivers, and living at the ranch? She would’ve rather died. But she’d fallen in love with Pete, Squire’s best friend from the Army, and they’d made an amazing life right across the street, with their four boys and all the horses at the equine therapy unit they owned and ran.

  “I’m going to miss him,” Chelsea said. “He used to bring the boys doughnut holes from the bakery and tell them they were grandpa kisses.”

  Squire smiled at the tender memory. “He loved the grandkids.”

  “There’s Mom.” Chelsea turned away from him, and Squire watched her cross the room to their mother. He’d seen her since Dad’s death, of course, but today was different. Today, she was going to bury the man she’d loved for almost fifty years.

  His chest tightened, and he didn’t know how to breathe through that tension. Libby said, “Daddy, will you hold my hand?” and he looked down at his daughter. Everything suddenly made sense, and Squire smiled down at her.

  “Of course, baby.” He took her hand in his and turned away from the casket. “Let’s go give Grandma a hug.”

  The viewing started the moment he arrived at his mother’s side, and the long line of friends and family started. He shook hands and stuck right beside his mom to make sure she didn’t get overwhelmed. When she needed a drink, he went to get it. When she didn’t w
ant to talk to someone anymore, he invented a reason he needed her for a moment.

  He caught sight of Kelly’s parents, and he left Libby with her grandmother to go stand with them for a few minutes. Kelly got taken by a few friends she worked out with when the weather was good, and Squire left Finn with his maternal grandparents when he saw Bear Glover and his wife walk in.

  “Bear,” Squire said, suddenly so relieved to see him. The man had already come to Three Rivers with a massive gift basket full of chocolate-covered pretzels, oatmeal cookies, and homemade bread. When Squire had asked where he’d gotten such a thing when the bakery was closed, Bear had said, “Holly Ann Broadbent.” He’d pointed to the wrapping around the bread. “She owns Three Cakes.”

  He’d come with Jeremiah Walker, Britt Bellamore, Gavin Redd, and Wade Rhinehart. They’d only stayed for a few minutes, but it had meant the world to Squire to have his friends from the ranch owner’s association be thinking about him.

  “Heya, Squire.” Bear opened his arms and folded Squire right inside them. He was a huge man, with plenty of charisma and power, and right now, Squire sure did need to know that life went on without his father.

  Bear’s father had died years ago, and all Squire had to do was look at him to know that yes, life went on. And it could be a good life.

  He wanted to know how to make it through this day, and when Bear released him, Squire asked, “How do I survive this day?”

  Bear looked over to the casket and back to Squire. “You let it hurt, Squire.” He clapped him on the shoulder as he moved forward. “You have to let it hurt.”

  Squire nodded, the advice similar to but slightly different from what Kelly had told him. Don’t zone out.

  Let it hurt.

  Losing his father did hurt. He’d gone to him so often for advice and direction, and now he wouldn’t be able to.