Heat

by Elizabeth Caroline

“You know what scares me.” he said dismissively.

  “Yes, but right now we're sharing Solomon." She said almost pouting, "Come on, I thought you and Claudia were close.”

  “I don’t know.” he said casually. “It's just a normal fear I suppose, that something bad would happen to the people I care about the most.” his eyes locked into mine “You realise you're one of those people right?”

  “Really?” I said out loud although I really didn't mean to. Solomon cares about me? I thought. In fact, I am included in the ones he cares about the most!

  “Of course Claudia.” he said in such a matter of fact way, that it suggested I should already know. His eyes were deep and clear as he spoke, with no sign of falsehood to be seen in them. You will find some people you can trust. I promise. Charles’ words ran through my mind once again as I watched Solomon. Why do I hope so much that it’s you? I thought.

  “So what about you?” Emily asked looking back at me. “What are you scared of?” I looked over to Emily, who I considered to be just as truthful as Solomon. I had never seen anything else from her except for smiles, laughter and concern.

  Inhaling deeply I took one quick last glance at both of them before starting. “I'm scared that … I might lose ...” I wasn't sure how to say it, it wasn't in me to allow myself to appear weak and vulnerable in front of people. Solomon was still looking at me patiently waiting for the answer. “I've just never had a normal life” I continued, “You know, with friends and a family.” I stopped again and stared hard at the table, looking for an appropriate explanation.

  Emily put her hand on top of mine, stroking it softly. “I don't know much about your past, and I don't want to sound presumptuous. But I know sometimes when people grow up in orphanages, and spend time in various foster homes, it's quite common to feel the way that you do. But we're your friends Claudia. I know Solomon's not going anywhere and neither am I.”

  That was a sweet gesture, but Mrs Maple claimed more or less the same thing. “You don't really know me though, do you? Supposing you found out something you didn't like.”

  A few seconds of silence past as, I assumed, both of them contemplated the answer. Solomon spoke first. “What would you do, Claudia?” he asked “If you found out something about us, that you didn't like.”

  I knew what he was getting at! If I wouldn't judge them, why would they judge me?

  “We all have secrets Claudia, but I trust you. I don't think you would abandon our friendship if you found out mine.” he said as he place his hand on the middle of my back. I shook my head, of course I wouldn't. “Then you should have a little faith in people, we're not all bad.” I nodded, my heart skipping a few more beats and for a moment I couldn't breathe. What was it about Solomon that made me linger on his every word and want to believe everything he said to me?

  His hand was still on my back, the coolness spreading throughout my body in a way that made me numb to everything else around me. It was only me and Solomon sat in the school yard, his eyes completely engulfing me. The dream replayed over in my mind for a moment, and I realised my fear wasn't the fact that I had lost my friends, although I cared for them all. My greatest fear was the fact that I had lost Solomon. I wanted him, I wanted to keep him, forever. All I could hope was that he wanted to be kept by me.

  “Thank you” I said quietly, a small smile on my lips.

  “Its nothing.” he said, his hand lingering for a short while longer. “Do you feel better?” he asked.

  I nodded as he slowly moved his hand and then closed his book and put it back into his bag. I really hoped I hadn't distracted him, he did look like he had work to do not long ago. But, although I didn't want to be a distraction to his school work, I did prefer when I had all of his attention. I opened my mouth slowly, almost ready to tell Solomon everything I could, about myself and about the way he made me feel, but a slight movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked back over at Emily, who I had completely forgotten about.

  “You too Emily.” I said, remembering her input in the discussion that had just transpired. “You're very sweet.”

  “Thank you.” she said fluttering her eyelids.

  “Oh Emily,“ I said laughing lightly. I had decided that Emily did in fact put her airhead routine on, but for what reason I still wasn't sure. “You're such an intelligent girl. Why do you put on this act?”

  “Boys don't like intelligent girls.” she answered.

  “Really?”

  “No!” Solomon said abruptly. “Please don't take boy advice from Emily. I keep telling her that's nonsense. Only certain types of boys like the type of girls that Emily tries to portray.”

  “Michael likes that type of girl.” she said.

  “Hmmm. And as much as I love Michael, he is one of the type of boys I wouldn't let anywhere near you.”

  “You're not my Dad Solomon!”

  “No. But he wouldn't let Michael near you either so we share the same ideals.”

  Letting out a huff Emily picked up her sunglasses and put them back on, she had had a little obsession with Michael for some time now. Even though I was sure she didn't have any real feelings for him, Michael represented the type of romantic rogue you might see in a movie; with every girl wanting to be swept of their feet by him and dreaming of being the one who could finally tame him.

  Emily didn't talk much after that, although I was grateful for her unintentional interruption. I had almost said things I wasn't so sure I wanted to anymore. Yes, Solomon and Emily had the best intentions, but as they didn't really know what my secret was, they couldn't really make an informed decision on how they would react to it.

  So, Solomon and I resumed our talk about war movies vs. horror movies. After the rest of the group arrived, Solomon went to sit with the boys who were excitedly playing a new game that Peter had bought and then shortly after we all left to head off to our classes.

  From that day Solomon would collect me every morning before school and we would sit in the front yard together, talking as we waited for school to start. And some evenings, if he didn't have somewhere else to be Solomon would drive me home as well.

  “So we're still on for the cinema tomorrow, aren't we?” Emily asked me as they pulled up at my house the next Friday evening. Although Emily rarely accompanied us in the morning she, and sometimes Martin, would normally be with us when we drove home.

  “Yep, definitely.” I said as I got out of the car “I'll be ready for 7.” That day was going to be the first time I'd ever gone to a cinema and I wasn't going to miss it.

  CHAPTER 12

  As I came down the stairs I caught a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror. Normally I would walk straight past the mirror without even noticing it, I wasn't really someone who liked to look at my reflection, but today I turned towards it to observe, or even scrutinise, my appearance for a while.

  There was nothing special about my clothing today—same dark colours as usual, with very few accessories. I never liked to stand out. The dark grey skinny jeans covered the smooth line of my legs beautifully, making them look even longer than they already were and, despite the warm weather which didn't affect me either way, I pulled my black leather jacket on to cover my upper body as usual.

  I gazed slowly over my face noticing an obvious difference in my appearance. I still had the same features I always had; long, curly, light brown hair, a light brown, oval shaped face and green eyes. But apart from my cheeks being slightly fuller, probably due to Veronica's meals, I also noticed the hint of a smile on my face, even though I wasn't trying.

  “You look beautiful Claudia.” Charles said from the living room door, bringing me back from my thoughts.

  “Oh ... no. That … that's not why I was looking.” I stammered.

  Charles gestured with his head for me to come, and when I stepped into the living room he put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed firmly. “So you're off to the cinema tonight?” he said.

  “Yeh, Solomon should b
e here soon.”

  “Hmm, so Solomon gets to take my little girl to the cinema before me.” A tinge of guilt ran through me, Charles had offered to take me to the cinema a few times, but I had always insisted that I wasn't really a cinema person. Which was normally true, however it did seem like something to try on this occasion since everyone else was going.

  “Solomon's not taking me Dad. We're all going.”

  “Yeh, I know.” He said walking back over to the sofa and sitting down. He tugged gently on my hand, coaxing me to sit next to him. “I just don't really see you anymore.”

  “Isn't that why you wanted me to start school?” I said giving him a sardonic smile. Charles laughed a little.

  “You know that's not why.” he said “You are happy though aren't you?”

  “Yeh, I think so.”

  “Good.” he said smiling and he leaned back in the sofa, I moved closer to him and leaned my head against his shoulder. Charles flicked through the television stations, commenting on various movie scenes or adverts and I, who for the most part sat quietly, would laugh occasionally at his jokes between glances from the TV to the clock. At about 5 minutes past 7 I heard a car pulling up outside, I jumped up from the chair, hoping I didn't look too excited and looked out the window.

  “It's Solomon, I'd better go.” I said walking back over to Charles and kissing him on his forehead

  Charles nodded and went to get up but before he had a chance to get out of his seat I had already run into the hallway and opened the front door “I won't be late.” I called as I went out the door, closing it behind me.

  Solomon stepped out of his car wearing a yellow t-shirt, a red hoody and a pair of blue jeans. Just like Michael and Peter, Solomon was never far from a hoody, however it simply added to his boyish charm rather than his sportsman appeal as he hoped.

  “Hey, where's the fire?” he said as I jogged up to him.

  “What's that supposed to mean?” I asked staring blankly at him.

  “It's just a saying,” he chuckled, “You've never heard it?” I shook my head. “It's just because you're in such a hurry.”

  “Oh I see. Can't I just be excited about something?” I said jabbing him softly in his arm.

  “I don't think I've ever seen you excited about anything before. Except mashed potatoes of course.” he said referring to my first day at school.

  “Oh you remember that?”

  Solomon laughed and opened the door for me before walking back around to the other side of the car.

  “So, no Emily?” I asked after he sat down in his seat. Solomon shrugged, “She wanted to go with Stacy and Susanne.”

  “Oh, maybe I should go with Susanne too.”

  “Why?”

  “I don't know, it's just you're going to collect Michael and Peter and I don't want to be stuck in a car with a bunch of boys.”

  “True.” he replied “I didn't think of that.” Solomon pulled his mobile phone out from his pocket and dialled a number.

  “You calling Susanne?” I asked. Solomon didn't answer, he just looked at me with a slight smirk on his face.

  “Hey Michael.” he said after a short while, “Listen, I was wondering if you can still get that lift with Josh … Yeh, there's been a slight change of plan.”

  “What are you doing?” I whispered.

  “Whatever.” Solomon laughed still talking on the phone, “Yeh, see you later.” He cut his phone off and put it back into his pocket, then he turned to face me, “Well, I guess it's just the two of us now.”

  “You're terrible you know?” I laughed.

  “Michael understands.” he said starting the car. Solomon had shared a lot of personal stories with me during the last two weeks, and even though I hadn't completely reciprocated his open approach we had become quite close due to our morning talks. He had still never talked about his mother though, and although I didn't really like to pry into the details of his life, if they weren't offered freely, I had heard he would be leaving after graduation to move back in with her.

  Solomon was staring ahead at the road, with a peaceful and content expression on his face. He had become quite comfortable with his driving over the past two weeks so I didn't mind talking with him while he drove.

  “I wanted to ask you something, but I'm not sure if you'll mind.” I said.

  “You can ask me anything” he said glancing at me quickly.

  “Ok. I was wondering when you were planning on moving back in with your mother.”

  He groaned and rubbed his head, “I doubt I'll be moving back in with her at all.” His voice held a coldness, very unlike his usual voice.

  “Oh.” I said, I hadn't expected him to respond in such a way. I sat silently for a few seconds watching the buildings as we drove, not sure exactly what to say next.

  “My Mom doesn't want me.” he said after a while. I quickly turned back and looked at him and he shrugged his shoulders, “She got married last year and she recently had a baby, but she's never mentioned me moving back in. Anyway, I kinda got the impression from the fact that I wasn't invited to her wedding, that I'm not included in her new family.”

  “She didn't invite you to her wedding?”

  “My aunt said it may have gotten lost in the post.” he laughed.

  “I didn't know it was like that between you and your mother.” I said, wishing I hadn't brought her up. “I heard she was finding it difficult since your dad passed but I was told she was going to come back for you. I just assumed you were going to finish school first.”

  “I was told the same story.” he sighed.

  “I'm sorry." I said smiling sympathetically at him. "I thought not having a Mom was bad.”

  Solomon chuckled a little, “She did used to visit me, a few times a year. Each time I'd get really excited and tell myself it was going to be the time she decides to take me home. But eventually she just stopped visiting, my aunt never said why, but I have my theories.” he looked over at me quickly so I raised my eyebrows waiting for him to continue, “Obviously, it's my dashing good looks. I must remind her too much of my Dad.” he smiled, but it didn't remove the sadness that was apparent on his face.

  “Do you know much about your Dad?”

  “Apart from the fact that I look like him? No, not much. I think he used to play football at Queensbridge high, that's how he and my Mom met. She was a cheerleader at Westpoint, I heard she really liked football, which is part of the reason I started to play. I thought she might come to one of my games.” He didn’t need to add the fact that she never did as that was obvious from his expression. His eyes were glistening now so he squinted slightly as if trying to adjust his focus on the road.

  “What about his family?” I asked.

  “I don’t think he had any, apparently he was an orphan.”

  Wow, another orphan, I thought and wondered why he had never mentioned it before.

  “I'm really sorry Solomon.”

  “It's not your fault.” he said in a way that sounded rehearsed. I looked at him and stifled a laugh.

  “I'm really sorry,” I repeated “I hate it when people say that too.” he smiled again this time looking more cheerful. “Can I ask you something else?” I said.

  “Sure.”

  “How do you still manage to smile so much?”

  Solomon, who had now stopped at a traffic light turned to face me, he had his Solomon grin back on and his dimple was clearly showing. “Why not Claudia?” he said, “I just want my life to move forward, and being angry or sad doesn't help me do that. Besides, I can't let her win like that.”

  I stared at him as he turned back to the road and started driving again. I could remember Emily and Martin having an argument about an incident when Martin had beat her in a game. He was complaining that it was taking away from his victory if she kept laughing and wouldn't accept that he had won, to which Emily responded by saying that she accepted that he had won the game, and he needed to accept that it was only the game he had won.

&
nbsp; “I wish I could be like that.” I said.

  “Of course you can. But you know what will help,” he said looking over to me again with a mischievous smile on his face “if you find someone you can trust and open up a little. Try talking about yourself, you know the old saying 'A problem shared is a problem halved'.” I swallowed and stared out of the window, the sun was setting. Solomon let out a soft sigh and continued driving in silence.

  “Err ... I didn't always live in an orphanage.” I said slowly looking back at Solomon “I spent a little time in about 3 different foster homes before I was taken in by a woman called Mrs Maple when I was about 7 and a half.” Solomon glanced over quickly and smiled when he realised I was talking about something I hadn't told him before.

  “Mrs Maple was quite nice, at the time anyway. She had a niece called Becky who I got on really well with. I spent over a year there and she actually put in an application to adopt me, which was really exciting. But something happened and I was sent to … another orphanage.”

  “What happened?” he asked.

  “That’s a long story. Let’s just say I did something I shouldn't have. It was an accident, I didn't mean to, but I guess Mrs Maple realised I wasn't quite right for her.” By now we had reached Knightsbridge and Solomon pulled into the car park and was looking for a place to park. “The other orphanage was very different from the first one, there weren’t really any other children to play with, so I spent a lot of time on my own, hence my great social skills.” I laughed.

  “What kind of orphanage doesn't have children in it?” he asked as he pulled into a parking place.

  “A very special one.”

  “So I guess that explains the dreams you have sometimes?”

  “Yeh. Abandonment issues right?” I chuckled.

  He smiled lightly.

  “Anyway, on my 16th birthday I ran away and I just moved from place to place until I found Charles.”

  “Really? How did you survive on the streets?”

  I laughed out of embarrassment “I don't know if I should tell you that, I don't really want to destroy my reputation you know.”