by S. E. Lund
I laughed and replied to him. I was smiling as I wrote my text, my body warming to the thought of that exact scene with Josh in control over me.
ELLA: I'm just thinking of what my audience would like to read. Besides, I have a very good imagination. I have a short timeline for this particular story, so I'm afraid I can't entertain you tonight. As a newspaper man, I'm sure you know all about those pesky deadlines!
I waited to see how he'd respond, wondering if he'd give up or keep trying to get me to invite him over.
JOSH: Well, if you need more inspiration for your stories, there's a nice four poster bed in the room I booked in that all-inclusive resort in Bali that could handle some scarves used as restraints. There's also a private outdoor pool in the yard and the beach is only steps away. Much potential for interesting erotic storylines.
I had already imagined it in my mind's eye after I found the new tickets on my desk earlier. He really wanted me to go to Bali with him and fulfil his fantasy weekend of sun, sex and surf. I wasn't sure if I should encourage him any further than we had already gone.
You'd think that the two of us would know not to get too close to each other. It was a mistake to get involved with a superior, even if he was sex on legs.
But still...
I deliberately didn't respond to his comment about Bali, not sure I would go, even if I really wanted to. I'd wait and see how things went over the next few days before I committed.
ELLA: Gotta say goodbye. Story isn't writing itself. Sleep tight. Don't think too much of me writing my erotic story, or what my mogul is doing to his helpless lover, tied up and blindfolded, waiting for him to do with her as he desires...
JOSH: Not a hope in hell of that now...
I laughed and put my phone in my bag, not wanting to see what he might say next to distract me. I really did have a deadline and needed to finish a short story I'd written for an anthology my writer friend Samantha was putting together. And so, for the next two hours, instead of entertaining a real live hot man in my tiny studio apartment, or in his much more luxurious one on Fifth Avenue, I wrote about a fantasy lover who very much resembled the genuine article.
Then, just to be a real tease, I sent Josh a text with the first couple of lines of my story, hoping to make him want me even more.
ELLA: I thought I'd send you the first paragraph of my new story for the collection. It's called "The Room".
ELLA: When you go through that doorway into the room, you're mine. Outside the four walls, on the beach, in the restaurant, or when we visit the town, you're your own person, but when we're alone inside the room, you'll do what I tell you, when I tell you. I'll own you. Every inch of you. Don't worry. I promise you that the room is all about pleasure -- for both of us. If you're good, you'll have more orgasms than you've ever had in your life over the course of the weekend. If you're bad, you'll have even more...
I smiled as I sent it off, wondering how he'd respond. In a moment, I got a new text.
JOSH: Oh, God...
JOSH: I guess I can forget falling asleep any time soon. You are very bad. Very bad. You need to spend some time in the room.
I laughed and a thrill went through my body at the thought he was sitting alone in his apartment, his cock hard, wishing he had me there so we could pleasure each other.
ELLA: Gotta go. Got a story to write! Sweet dreams.
JOSH: If and when I ever get you alone again, I'm going to make you...
He deliberately left the sentence unfinished. Bastard! I guess two could play that game.
I didn't bite this time and respond or ask for more. Instead, I put my phone away and went back to writing the story, still not sure I'd actually go to Bali with Josh, despite how much my body told me that I wanted to. My mind kept saying don't. My heart was still afraid of getting too close to a new man, especially one who was my boss.
I'd decide when the time came.
For the next hour and a half, I wrote my story, easily producing another twenty-five hundred words of my fantasies of being alone with a very dominant Josh at a very expensive all-inclusive resort in Bali. I was tempted to send him the rest of the story so he knew what my fantasies were about the possibility of a weekend alone with him, but it was his fantasy. I wanted to know what he desired. How his mind worked when it came to living out one of his fantasies.
What would he be like? Would he be all alpha and dominant, like I fantasized? Or would he want the roles to be reversed, with me on top? I had no idea, seeing as the two times I'd been with him, we either didn't have time or we were living out my fantasy.
Would he be kinky or controlling?
When I went to bed, I lay in the darkness and tried to imagine what he'd be like if he had total control over me.
It made it very hard to fall asleep...
The next day, I got up bright and early and went through my usual routine. Today, I'd work late, helping Sharon get ready for her big meeting with her editors on Tuesday. I was so busy, writing coverage for several of the novels I'd selected so Sharon could pick her favorites and develop a plan for them that I barely had time to think about Josh and the following weekend.
On my way down in the elevator, I saw him once again as he was going down from one floor to another.
"Ms. Carlson," he said as I stepped on and stood in front of the control panel.
"Mr. Macintyre," I replied and smiled to myself. He was on the other side of the elevator and there were two people in between us, so there was no way he could do anything to me in the short time I had between floors. I was disappointed, for I would have liked some interaction with him, but sadly, my floor arrived and I left the elevator, feeling his eyes on me the whole time.
I sighed as I went to the mail room and picked up the mail, stopping in the photocopier room to make a copy of my coverage letter for my own files. Before I could leave, the door to the room opened and in came my boss.
"Mr. Macintyre," I said as I took the copy from the machine. "What brings you to the photocopier room? I thought you had staff to do administrative work for you."
"Stop talking," he said and closed the door. Then he pushed me against the wall, his body pressed against mine. He kissed me, his hand groping my body, squeezing a breast. When the kiss ended, he pulled back and met my eyes. "God, I can't stop thinking of you. Are you going to come or not?"
I bit my bottom lip, trying not to smile.
"Mr. Macintyre, given both our histories with office romances, I'd think it would be a very bad, inadvisable thing."
"This isn't an office romance," he said, his voice filled with a combination of frustration and humor.
"What is it, then?" I said and cocked my head to one side. "Just so I know."
He smiled. "It's pure."
"Pure?" I asked, confused.
"Pure unadulterated lust. Nothing more. Nothing less. I think that's a good thing. Neither of us wants to make the same mistake again, so we won't."
"I certainly don't want to make the same mistake again," I replied.
Then he leaned down and kissed my neck before squeezing my breast and kissing the flesh that swelled under his hand. He made a point to lick my tattoo and it sent a thrill right to my core.
"Then we won't," he replied, his voice husky. "So are you coming?"
He leaned against the wall, his arm beside my head and waited for my answer. I stared into his blue-gray eyes and tried to read him. He obviously wanted me to go to Bali.
"I thought you were going to California next week."
"I changed my plans."
"That seems rather unprofessional. Changing business plans for a dirty long weekend."
"My doctor says it's important for mental health to take regular vacations. I haven't had a real vacation for a long time. Years, in fact."
I smiled. "Me, neither."
"All the more reason for you to come," he replied. He leaned closer and kissed me softly. "I promise you won't regret it. We'll be completely professional while we're at wo
rk, and completely unprofessional in private."
"You haven't shown very professional behavior with me recently, kissing me in photocopier rooms and hallways..."
"I needed to clarify what was happening between us."
I stared into his eyes, trying to see if he was being honest. If he was going to be my Mr. Big, I didn't want it to interfere with my work.
"I need this internship, Josh. I don't want anything to hurt my position here."
"It won't. I'm going to appoint Keith as manager of Macintyre Publishing. I'll no longer have a role here. I'm focused on the Chronicle anyway. That's all I really care about and it would lift a load off my shoulders to no longer have any management function with the book publishing side. So technically, I wouldn’t be your boss at all."
I nodded, thinking that might solve our problem.
"So, is that a yes?" he asked, impatient.
"I'll think about it."
Then he kissed me again and turned away, opening the door, checking the hallway before he left.
I stood alone in the room and tried to catch my breath. I wanted to go to Bali with Josh. It would be the first real vacation for my own personal enjoyment I'd taken in years. I decided that I would wait and make a decision at the last minute, based on how I felt, but part of me wanted to go so badly, fantasizing already what it would be like.
I just hoped if I did go, I wasn't making a big mistake.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Joshua
I spent the rest of the day trying to recover from my meeting with Ella in the photocopier room.
Damn, that woman was becoming too much of an obsession. I couldn't get her out of my mind, wanting her every moment of the day. Hoping that she would agree to come to Bali with me and let me live out my own fantasy of time away from everything with a woman who was mine to enjoy as I wanted.
The truth was that I would have been happy to start a sexual relationship with Ella and not care about the fact she was technically an employee, although unpaid, of my company. I wasn't cheating on anyone so it wasn't like what we were doing was a betrayal.
I called down to Jerome, who took care of my travel arrangements and rescheduled my trip to California. It could wait another week or even two. Work was ongoing at the new office of MBS, and my trip there was more to check on progress. Nothing was written in stone about the timing.
Before my next meeting, I got a text from Marcella, asking me to call her.
I did, dialing her number and leaning back in my chair, wondering what she wanted to talk about, considering we had a meeting already scheduled.
"Hello, Marcella, what can I do for you? I thought we already had a meeting planned."
"I'm hoping you can come to a charity event I'm hosting. There will be a few of my candidates at the event and you could mix and mingle with them, meet them and feel them out."
I rubbed my forehead. Going to a charity event to meet some of Marcella's picks for me was the very last thing I wanted. I only wanted Ella.
"Sorry, but no can do. I'm totally swamped with work for the next two weeks."
"I didn't tell you what day it was…"
"I don't have any days open," I said, really wanting to avoid it at all costs.
"It would just be for half an hour or an hour. Surely you could spare some time on Tuesday?"
"Nope. I'm really booked right up."
I heard her sigh on the other end. It was then I realized that my heart was just not into the whole matchmaker thing.
"Look, Marcella. This isn’t going to work out. I really can't wrap my head around this right now. I don't want to approach this like it's a business decision, so please, give my regards to your candidates and tell them I wish them best of luck in the future but I just can't go through with it."
"May I ask what made you change your mind?"
I sighed. "I met someone who made me realize that it's not the pedigree or the resume that matters in this. It's the person. It's the chemistry. Trying to treat it like some kind of computer algorithm just seems bloodless and emotionless to me. I need to feel that chemistry first before anything else."
"Okay, Joshua. If you change your mind, you just have to give me a call. There will always be dozens of young appropriate women who are more than happy to meet you."
"Thanks for your vote of confidence," I said and I meant it. "Best of luck and if I do change my mind, I'll let you know."
I hung up, glad to get that out of the way. It really didn't appeal to me and never really had, other than the fact it would make it easier for me to meet women, but meeting Ella made me realize you couldn't force chemistry.
You either had it or you didn’t.
Next, I called David to let him know I wouldn't be coming until the following week.
"What's up? You were really looking forward to this trip."
"I had something personal come up and will be taking a trip to Bali. It was short notice but I need to rearrange things to accommodate it."
"Personal? What? You're going to Bali instead? Is it a conference or something?"
"No," I said, cringing internally that I didn't have a good excuse.
"Is it business?" he asked.
"No," I replied. "It's just personal. Let's leave it at that."
"It's a woman," he said, his voice satisfied. "Tell me the truth, bro. You don't cancel a business trip and go to Bali for any other reason.
I laughed, because of course David would think it was a woman. "Yes," I admitted. "It's a woman."
"Hey, great. Bring her here, let me meet her."
"No, it's not like that," I said. "It's certainly not at that stage."
"It's at the take her to Bali and cancel a long-planned business trip stage, though."
"I know, I know. But honestly, it isn't like that."
"This is really sudden," David said, his voice sounding hesitant. "You were all down on relationships just a few weeks ago when we read the will."
"I know. Life moves fast. Sometimes, shit happens."
"That it does. Tell me that she's just a good fuck and you're not in love or anything."
"I'm not in love or anything. She's more than just a good fuck."
"Uh, oh. I don't like the sounds of that. You've been working like a dog getting everything in place for the opening of the new office in LA. The fact that you're willing to reschedule at the last moment is pretty telling."
"Let's just say we have an interesting relationship. Neither of us wants anything committed. We both were burned by cheating partners. We're only interested in something physical."
"That's what everyone always says, but then they fall in love. I've seen it happen way too often to know better."
"What about you?" I said, for David had many sexual partners and had yet to stick with one partner for longer than a weekend. "You have lots of sexual relationships. You've never fallen in love. Why can't the rest of us do the same?"
"Because you're not like me. You're the deep serious type. You don't do shallow. You've never done shallow. It's either one night or marriage with you."
"Well, maybe I'll try a shallow meaningless sexual relationship with someone else who wants the same thing."
"I give you six months before you're proposing."
I laughed out loud. "Not likely. In six months, I'll be with someone else."
"Yeah, right. I know you, brother. It's not in you. But you'll do what you want. Just remember who let you cry on his shoulder for a week after your last romantic fiasco."
"I'll never forget and you'll never let me," I replied, thinking of how I actually did cry on his shoulder one drunken night when I explained everything to him -- the whole mess. Me coming home early one day and finding Christie in our bed with her boss.
"Damn straight I won't."
"Look, I appreciate your concern, but I've decided to take a page out of your own book and try just a casual sexual relationship with this woman and we both want to go away and spend some time alone."
; "I get it. I'm happy for you. It's time for you to move on from Christie. Get her out of your system. You'll know you're truly ready to move on when she stops being the reason you do or don't do things."
"Thanks for the relationship advice," I said with a smile. "I'll be out there in two weeks, tops."
"Bring this woman. What's her name, by the way? I need to know who'll be my first sister in law."
"David!" I said angrily, frustrated that he couldn't just accept that my relationship with Ella was just casual. "It's not what you're thinking."
"Okay, okay. Bring her along anyway. I mean, if it's nothing serious, why not?"
"I'll text you with my new itinerary once the plans are finalized."
"Love you, bro."
"Love you back."
Then I hung up, shaking my head at him. Of all the men to give me relationship advice, he was the last on my list. I knew he meant well, but he really couldn't keep it in his pants and didn't need to. My only concern for him was always STDs but he'd been able to keep clean over the years, despite the extravagant and debauched lifestyle he led.
But even someone as jaded and freewheeling as David had to come down to earth someday, and have a meaningful life with a wife and kids. He didn't have the same financial incentives as the rest of us did, given his income from the band, but even he had to grow tired of the lifestyle on the road with the endless trips and concerts.
He'd succumb someday, but I doubted that day would come any time soon.
That night, after a long day spent putting out business fires and trying to keep my head above water with business matters, I went to the penthouse apartment and ordered in dinner from a local restaurant. I had a shower and sat in my underwear in front of the television and ate my food, watching a game on the flatscreen.
It hit me all of a sudden how much of a loner I had become after Christie and I split. Other than a drink with the guys at work once a week, I really did nothing much else other than work. Before my father died, I'd spent so much of my evenings and weekends during the past six months visiting with him at his house, and at the end, in the hospital by his bedside.