Falling

by Kris Bryant

  “We’ve been doing this for several years and haven’t had run-ins with wildlife other than a family of raccoons who stole our Hershey Kisses late one night. It’s been pretty peaceful,” Piper said.

  “Of course, nature hasn’t met Shaylie Beck, nor have her friends,” I said.

  “Well, a few of us know you,” Piper said.

  I dropped my head into my hands and groaned again. “Let’s not even bring that up.”

  Virginia, who was halfway across the kitchen wrestling with a brisket, piped up. “Oh? What’s that about?”

  “Nothing.”

  “I set Shaylie up with one of the yoga instructors and apparently it didn’t go well. I thought for sure there would be a connection,” Piper said. She finally sat in the chair next to me.

  Virginia looked back and forth between us. I looked at my glass and avoided eye contact. She knew. Piper didn’t have a clue. A small smile settled on Virginia’s lips and she nodded. “I’m sure Shaylie will find somebody soon. She’s too pretty and smart to be single for long.”

  “Oh, stop. I finally realized work isn’t everything. So, now I’m going to focus on me and what I want.” My cheeks flushed. I grabbed a napkin to have something in my hands. I wanted any distraction to keep me from thinking about Piper sitting a mere six inches from me, oblivious to my crush.

  “What do you want?” Piper asked.

  My heart pounded frantically. “I want what everybody wants. Forever. The happy ending. The ‘I can’t wait to get home to you’ rush when you talk on the phone or the excitement when you pull in the driveway and you know you are going to see her in only a minute.” I couldn’t look at either woman.

  “Grandma, when’s dinner? Shaylie and I are hungry.” Alison returned to the kitchen, breaking the rawness of my confession. I was so relieved at her arrival that I gave a short laugh and stood.

  “Yes, let’s get dinner on the table. What can I do?”

  Virginia must have heard the anxiety in my voice. She directed me to the oven. “Can you please take the brisket out? The hot pads are in the first drawer.”

  I busied myself with setting the food on the table. Virginia rang the bell and Piper entertained Alison. I tried not to pay attention to them, but Piper’s voice was low and soothing and I caught myself watching their interaction more than once. Piper was so patient and Alison was so taken with her. It was sigh-worthy cuteness.

  “What took you so long?” I asked Marisa when she and Jason finally filed into the kitchen. She had the decency to blush.

  Ignoring me, Marisa walked over to Piper. “What did you think about the ride? Are you sore like wimpy over there?” She pointed at me over her shoulder.

  I frowned at them and pouted.

  “Yoga,” Piper said.

  I stopped from rolling my eyes. “Well, I’m fine, thanks for asking. I’m not sore at all.”

  “Do not let those ladies get to you,” Jason leaned down and whispered. “I know firsthand that Marisa is sore from riding, but she won’t admit it. And don’t forget, she’s been on a horse almost every weekend since you were up last time.” He took my hand and escorted me to the table. I smiled at Marisa when we walked by her. She stuck her tongue out at me. We said the dinner prayer and dug into a meal of brisket, mashed potatoes, gravy, two vegetables, and warm biscuits. Piper sat across from me. Her plate wasn’t as full as mine, but I was impressed with her portion sizes.

  After seeing her reaction after the first bite, I said, “I told you the food is fabulous.”

  She covered her mouth and nodded. “You weren’t kidding. This is fantastic.” Piper pointed her fork at her plate. “Virginia, thank you again for dinner. Shaylie and I were just talking about how hard it is to cook for one person. This is a real treat.”

  “Just so you know, Virginia is going to weigh us down with leftovers. And I’m not going to fight her on it.”

  “Good. I’ll come over for dinner this week.”

  I almost dropped my fork at the look she gave me. It was fleeting, but I felt it. I looked around, almost guiltily, to see if anyone else saw it or if it was just wishful thinking. Marisa pushed her leg against mine. She saw it, too.

  “You know you’re always welcome.”

  Marisa pushed against me again. I saw Jason touch her knee. Perhaps he was on my side.

  “Save room for dessert and s’mores after the sun sets,” Jason said.

  That good news didn’t stop me from cleaning my plate. It did stop me from reaching for seconds, though.

  * * *

  “Compliments of Virginia.” I handed Piper a blanket that she spread across her knees. Even though it was August, when the sun set, the evenings cooled. The bonfire provided heat, but I was chilled from my sunburn. Jason loaned me a long-sleeve flannel shirt that looked more like a dress on me, but I appreciated it nonetheless. Fashion wasn’t a thing on a ranch, although Marisa always looked fantastic. She was wearing jeans and a tight flannel shirt that accentuated her small waist and nice breasts. Different boots, I noticed. They were new and beautifully crafted. Every single person was wearing boots except for me. I had sandals. They were athletic sandals, but I was definitely the outsider. I leaned over to Piper.

  “Take me shopping for boots. I look and feel ridiculous.”

  She leaned in so close that I could have turned my head and kissed her. The alcohol was flowing freely and Piper was indulging. We’d had s’mores about an hour ago, but my stomach couldn’t handle alcohol after the two sickeningly sweet s’mores. I was the only one not drinking.

  “You look great, but sure, I’ll take you,” Piper said. She looked at my lips.

  The crooked smile on her face was so damn cute. I wanted to reach out and touch her lips, feel their smoothness under my fingertips. Friends did that, right? No, they didn’t, I reminded myself. It was so hard to keep in mind that she wasn’t available, especially when she looked at me that way.

  “Okay, this week. I doubt I’ll be back up here before our trip, but I’ll need time to break them in.”

  “Spoken like a true cowgirl.” Piper clinked her glass to my water bottle. She rested her head on my shoulder and I forgot to breathe. I took small gasps of breath so my shoulders wouldn’t move up and down and interrupt the moment. I refused to make eye contact with anyone so I stared into the fire and thought about the last three and a half months. I’d survived falling from the sky. I should have been embracing life and taking all the chances. Instead, I was sitting at a bonfire under the Wyoming night sky, pining for a girl who wasn’t available but whose mere presence put me back in a tailspin.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “How are you holding up?” Piper braked and waited for me to catch up to her.

  “Look at me.” I could feel the sweat trickling down my back, around my temples, and pooling between my breasts. The sports bra I bought made my cleavage look great, but it was uncomfortable as hell and the tank I wore over it was itchy and showed every sweat mark. I was a hot mess. “I won’t get a shower for days and I’m cranky.”

  “We will wash up in the stream when we camp. You’re doing great. Better than I expected,” she said.

  “I’m too tired to be insulted, but know that when I’m rested, we’re going to talk about this.” I got back on the bike and pedaled in silence until we hit camp. I was greeted with applause and a cold water.

  “Good job, Shaylie.” Lani patted me on the back.

  I sat on a large rock and stretched my legs out. “I’m mad at each and every one of you.”

  They feigned innocence.

  “What are you talking about?” Cheryl, Meagan’s wife and one of Denver’s finest, batted her eyelashes at me.

  “Thirty miles in a single day? Not even on pavement? That’s just cruel.”

  “And you rocked it.” Piper squeezed my shoulder as she walked by.

  “I’m impressed you didn’t fall. Actually, none of us bit the dust, so it was a great day,” Lani said.

  I took off my h
elmet and unbraided my hair. I was drenched. I needed to wash up and cool down. “Which way to the stream?”

  Meagan pointed to a small path through the trees. “It’s right down there. You can’t miss it.”

  I groaned when I stood and shook my legs out. My backpack held very few clothes, but I had a dry T-shirt and shorts I could slip into. I grabbed my towel and headed down the path that Meagan pointed out. I could hear the girls laughing about something, probably me, up on the hill. I tied my hair back in a quick bun and squatted down to scoop the water and splash it on my face and neck. It felt heavenly. I peeled off my tank, kicked off my shoes and socks, and waded out. I sighed at how refreshing it felt.

  “Do you feel better?”

  I turned to find Piper on the bank with her hands on her hips, smiling at me.

  “Had I known this was the reward, I would have pedaled faster.”

  I didn’t care that I was basically in a bra and shorts, and she didn’t seem to care either. I continued scooping water in my hands and splashing it on my legs and arms. I tried to ignore her when she took off her shoes and socks and waded in next to me.

  “This feels wonderful.” Piper found a flat rock and sat on it. The water covered her legs and up to her waist. She scooped water over her back and arms, sighing with every cascade.

  I tried not to stare, but she was beautiful and I was alive. I watched her, disguising none of my emotions. Her eyes were closed and if she opened them, just for a moment, she would see the rawness in my gaze. She had to know how she affected me. Had to. I sighed and made my way to the bank. She splashed me when I walked by.

  “Are you leaving already?” she asked.

  “I’ve cooled off for now.” That wasn’t even the truth. I was warmer now, just from looking at her, than I was when I got off the bike. I grabbed my T-shirt, turned around to strip off my sports bra, and quickly pulled the T-shirt over my head. When I turned back around, Piper was staring at me.

  “What do you think about Jamie?”

  Jamie wasn’t on my radar at all. She was Lani’s friend. Cute, but we’d barely spoken since we all got together for this trip.

  “I really don’t know her.” I shrugged and picked up my discarded clothes, dusting them off even though it was futile. I just needed to keep my hands busy and not focus on the half-naked woman sitting in a stream ten feet from me.

  “She’s single and really nice.”

  I held up my hand. “Stop. Please stop.”

  “What do you mean?” She stood up and walked toward me, the cold water streaming down her abdomen and legs.

  “Piper, please. I just can’t.” I grabbed my towel, draped it around my neck, and turned to head back to camp. She grabbed my hand and stopped me in my tracks.

  “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

  I turned and stood right in front of her, completely in her personal space. She didn’t move. Neither did I.

  “You have to know.”

  “Know what?” She looked genuinely confused.

  “I can’t do this.” I turned again, but she stopped me again.

  “What can’t you do?”

  I stared at her and sighed. “Are you really okay with me dating your friends? Does it bother you in the least?”

  “Well, not really, no.”

  “I don’t want to be with your friends. I’m going to sound like a total asshole right now because I like you. And I can’t. You lost two people you love and all I can think about is kissing you and that makes me a horrible person.” I threw my hands up in frustration. She stood in front of me, her face unreadable, so I did what I do best. I rambled. “Seriously, I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop wanting to be around you. What kind of person am I?” I walked away, but she grabbed my arm before I got far. I instantly stilled. I deserved whatever she had to say to me.

  “Shaylie, look at me. Please.”

  I looked at her because I had to. I could have shaken off her slight grip and stormed off, but I was done fighting. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.” Close to tears, I looked down, ashamed of my weakness. I felt her hand under my chin. She tilted my head upward so our eyes met.

  “I don’t want the last minute to disappear. Thank you for telling me.”

  “Ugh. The dreaded thank you for telling me, but let’s just stay friends speech.” I groaned and tried to step back.

  She pulled me closer to her this time. “Now it’s your turn to stop. Do you know how I feel? I lost my fiancée and my best friend less than four months ago, and all I want to do is spend time with you. So, who’s really the asshole here?”

  My jaw dropped at her confession, but I remained quiet because I needed more. I wanted to hear everything. I was afraid if I said anything, all of this happiness would disappear as if I dreamed it.

  “How long am I supposed to mourn? One month? Two months? Four months? I don’t know the answer, but I feel ready to move on. I want to move on. I’m still alive and even though everybody expects me to mourn for a long time, I can’t. And I feel guilty for wanting to be around you. That’s why I’ve been trying to set you up. Maybe if you found somebody, we could be friends and I would stop thinking about you that way.”

  I took a deep breath and carefully thought about my words before I confessed. I didn’t want to scare her away, but I wanted her to know that the feelings were mutual. “You had to have known how I felt about you. I mean, I signed up for your yoga class. I’m horrible at it and yet, I still show up twice a week. I text you constantly. Even at the ranch when you put your head on my shoulder, I didn’t move for fear that you would pull away. I liked having you so close to me.”

  She linked her fingers with mine and pulled me closer until our foreheads touched. “Is it wrong for me to want this, too?”

  I gently released her hands and ran my fingers up her arms. I placed my hands on either side of her neck. She leaned into my touch. I brushed my thumb up and down her smooth skin, amazed at how soft she was. I couldn’t wait. I had to taste her. Before I had the chance, though, I felt her lips press against mine. I clutched her to me and kissed her back. It was a perfect first kiss. Warm, gentle, and everything I wanted. When her tongue briefly touched my lips, I opened up and sucked her bottom lip into my mouth. Our kiss deepened and I pulled her body flush against mine. The feel of her in my arms made me weak. Holding her was better than I imagined. Tasting her brought tears to my eyes.

  “Are you sure about this?” I pulled away only to find out her answer.

  She nodded and kissed me harder this time. I moaned into her, walking into the kiss until her back was pressed firmly against a tree. She spread her stance and I stepped between her legs, getting as close to her as possible. Her hands wound into the hair that had fallen from my quick updo, holding my head in place while her tongue dipped inside my mouth. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I wanted to go slow, I should’ve gone slow, but my desire for her was too great. I’d been obsessing about her for months and now here she was, in my arms, kissing me like I’d never been kissed before. Or at least not that I could remember. When I finally stopped so we both could breathe, I leaned against her, my forehead pressed against hers again, and sighed.

  “Are you okay?” She ran her fingertips over my face, over my lips.

  I felt her warm breath on my cheek and smiled. When I opened my eyes, she was watching me, her eyes searching mine for affirmation. I nodded and told myself not to cry. Kissing Piper was something I never thought would happen but had wanted more than anything. “I’m great. Just a little overwhelmed.”

  She brushed a tear from my cheek. I kissed her palm.

  “So, what do we do now?” I seriously had no idea. It’s not as if we were on a date and all of this was expected.

  “Let’s go back to camp before they send a search party for us. We have plenty of time to talk later and figure all of this out.” She kissed me swiftly one last time.

  I followed her back to camp, my stomach in knots the whole time.
What had just happened? My life had just taken a huge turn and I wasn’t sure how to process my emotions and elation without looking like a total dork.

  “How’s the water?” Jamie asked.

  “Cold and refreshing. You should all go down and try it out.” Piper hung her shirt on the line Cheryl and Meagan had strung by the fire so we could quickly dry our clothes. “Shaylie and I need to set up our tents. We’ll watch the fire,” Piper said.

  Setting up my tent was throwing it on the ground and watching it pop open. A few stakes in the ground and I was done. Piper had recommended a few tents online, but I remembered seeing instant pop-up ones in the movie Congo when I was a kid and swore I would get one if the opportunity ever came up. I would probably never use the tent again, but it weighed next to nothing and it was easy to set up. Being camping challenged, this was really the only way to go.

  “Wow. Impressive.” Piper watched me hammer the stakes in the ground.

  “Do you need help with yours?” I leaned back and looked at her. She was so beautiful. The T-shirt she wore was tight, but not too tight. Her hair was pulled back and her bicycle shorts showed off all of her curves.

  “Can I take a peek inside?” she asked playfully.

  I nodded and watched her crawl into my tent, my eyes never leaving her ass. Oh, God, I couldn’t wait to touch her. I crawled over to the opening. “How’s it look?”

  “Well, there’s not much room for anything other than you, but it’ll do the job,” she said.

  I desperately wanted to climb inside with her, but she was right. Unless I crawled on top of her, there was room for only one person.

  “Is yours bigger?” I reached out and helped her exit the tent. She didn’t let go of my hand.

  “A little bit. If you help me, I’ll show you.”

  I helped her unpack her tent and held the poles out to her. She took one, showed me how to insert it into the sleeve, and nodded that I should do the same on my side. I struggled for a moment but wrestled it into position and secured it to the ground. “Now, let’s see the inside of yours.” I unzipped it and slipped inside. It was larger than mine. Piper surprised me by crawling in next to me.