The Holy Land: Fanatical Earthling planet assassins are spreading chaos through the galaxy. Is there any nice way to stop them?

by Robert Zubrin

  “You mean you subjected me to ridicule in front of 600 Minervan women.”

  “So? Everyone had a great time. They all thought you were very funny, you know.”

  Hamilton drew himself up straight. “Aurora, I have to have my dig- nity.”

  Aurora looked at Hamilton,puzzled. “Why?”

  “Because I am a human being.”

  The priestess smiled indulgently. “There you go again, making com- pletely unsupported assertions. You’re not advancing your case with such nonsense.”

  “But I thought you told the gathering that…”

  “I told them there was some evidence indicating you were potential- ly human. Don’t let that go to your head. There is a big difference between being potentially human and actually human. There is no evidence for the latter.”

  “How can you say that? Look at our cities. Look at ourcivilization!”

  Aurora put a hand onHamilton’s shoulder and looked at him with pity in her eyes.“Hamilton, you are so proud of your cities. But you should understand that, compared to how civilized people live throughout the galaxy, your habitations are just a collection of smelly hovels. Now it is true that your poverty of intellectual, artistic, architectural and technological accomplishments, while offering no evidence for your putative humanity, does not necessarily prove the opposite. But look at your behavior, how barbaric it is; not only in your futile and insane attacks upon us, but even in your treatment of your fellow Earthlings. Why just yesterday, your own government machine-gunned twenty of your people who were trying to escape the Kennewickian refugee camps to return to America to find work.”

  Hamilton’s eyes were downcast. “Yes, I know. That was wrong.”

  “So why should anyone believe that you are human?”

  The soft sympathy in her voice made her indictment even more crushing. Hamilton wanted to cry. But he stifled the impulse and walked on for several minutes in silence. Then he was struck by a thought. He turned to the priestess.

  “Aurora, this evening I heard you say that ten years ago you and your people were living in fear. Fear ofwho?”

  Instantly, the look of sympathetic superiority vanished from the priestess’ face. In its place there appeared an expression of desperate ter- ror.

  “The evil ones. They tried to kill us all. They killed my parents, my sisters, and my brothers. I saw them do it! I was only a little girl at the time, but I still remember it. They tried to kill metoo!”

  She started to shake. Hamilton held her to comfort her.“How did you escape?”

  She sniffled. “They were doing horrible things to my older sisters, and weren’t watching me. So I jumped out the window and hid in a bar- rel. I could hear them searching for me, but I was so small they couldn’t find me. I hid in the barrel for two days and two nights, listening to the screams as they photolysized hundreds of Minervans. Then space marines from the WGE hit the planet and I was rescued.”

  “What’s the WGE?”

  “The Western Galactic Empire. They saved us. And then they brought ushere.”

  “But who were these evil ones? And why did they want to kill you?”

  “The evil ones. The Central Galactics. Worshippers of the false god- dess Aphrodite.”

  Hamilton was puzzled. “Aphrodite? The goddess of Love?”

  Aurora became hysterical.“Don’t believe it, Hamilton!Don’t believe it! It is not Love she stands for, but Passion, irrational passion. That is why she hates the true Goddess Minerva, the Goddess of Reason, and all of her people. That is why she had her followers try to kill us all!”

  “But she is real then? You called her a falsegoddess.”

  “Oh, she is real alright. But she is not a goddess. She is…” Aurora held her hand over Hamilton’s head to extract a word. “She is satanic. And so are all herfollowers.” She looked into theRanger’s eyes with desperate sincerity.“Hamilton, worship your Christ or whatever other local totems you like. I’ll understand. But promise me this, that you will never join the cult ofAphrodite.”

  She seemed so vulnerable that Hamilton was deeply moved.“I promise,” he said softly.

  Aurora put her head on his shoulder and sobbed. He held her for a while, but then could not resist delivering his follow through. “So, these Central Galactics, they were civilized humans then, with beautiful buildings and impressive technologies? Not primitives like us?” Aurora backed away, and looked at Hamilton, her eyes tearful, yet determined. “Those who willingly abandon their humanity are much more to be despised than those who have never hadit.”

  It took Hamilton a few seconds to absorb the meaning of this comment. Then he said: “So then, being civilized is not everything?”

  Aurora shook her head. “No, I suppose not.” She paused for a few seconds, and then managed to muster a weak smile. “Touché,” she said.

  They walked back the rest of the wayto Hamilton’s cell in silence.

  Chapter 5

  The President stared at Attorney General Brasher in amazement. “You’re saying that the radicals are blaming us for the moral decay of the country? Us? The true keepers of thefaith?”

  Brasher nodd ed. “Yes, they say we are flooding the country with pornographic joycubes that are destroying the minds and moral fiber of our citizens.”

  Beasley said, “I told you we shouldn’t have taken those…” The President cut the Science Advisor short with a light tap on his silver prism. “There was no choice. It was sell on their terms, or have the stufftaken.”

  “But they also offered agricultural technologies,” Beasley whim- pered. “We could have…”

  This time the President pressed down hard on the prism, achieving much more satisfactory results. “That’s enough of that. Those joycubes are bringing in vital revenue to this administration.” He paused, then turned to his Treasury Secretary.“Myra, that reminds me, do you have the checks?”

  “Right here, Mr. President. Ten billion for each of us, and twenty billion for you.”

  “Well done. As I was saying, the joycubes are helping to balance the budget and have contributed greatly to social peace.It’s not our fault they are pornographic.It’s the WGE who makes them, notus.”

  Lisa White was on the case. “Precisely, Mr.President,” the Public Relations Director said. “What we have here is an elementary problem in public relations. We simply need to shift the blame where it is due. The Weegees are the ones behind the Minervans, and they are the ones behind the joycubes. They are the real enemy that is trying to destroy our country.”

  The President nodded. “That’s right, that’s right.”

  Lisa became enthusiastic. “Mr. President, this is nothing less than a godsend in disguise. The Minervans were too local a threat to really motivate our people. But the Western Galactic Empire is a Great Devil against whose enormous menace we can unite our nation in eternal holy struggle.”

  “Excellent,” the President said. “Mobilize the press, the ministries, and the educational system. Our nation must speak with one voice, think with one mind, and have but one thought in that one mind. Death to Pagans! Death to the Minervans! Death to the Western Galactic Empire!” “That’s three thoughts,” Beasley tried to interject, before the President cut him off with a tap on the prism.

  White House Chaplain Reverend John Meade intoned,“Surely Christ will bless us in this holycause.”

  General Smith, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, raised his head sheepishly. “Excuse me sir, but our intelligence indicates that the Western Galactic Empire includes over a hundred million planets, and has a fleet of over a hundred billion interstellar battleships and a hundred trillion space marines. I’m not sure our armed forces can handle them.”

  The President stared at his General, shocked by his comment.“What! Are youscared?” He turned to his Secretary of Defense for an alternative opinion. “What do you think, Jack?”

  Defense Secretary Jack Ripley thought carefully. “Well, I think we’ll need a significant increase in the d
efense budget.”

  That was unacceptable. Money was needed for more important things. But all his political instincts told him that a holy war would be the best possible thing for the administration. What to do? He looked to CIA Director Fred Collins for advice.

  On cue, Collins spoke up. “Gentlemen, I think you underestimate the genius of our glorious leader. Of course we will not assault the WGE in open warfare. That would be idiotic. Only military simpletons would consider such an idea.” He looked at Smith and Ripley with disdain. “All we need to do is mount a hate campaign against them. That will serve our purpose of uniting the nation. The Weegees will probably not even find out about it, and if they do, they won’t care so long as we keep the helic- ity flowing. Politics is politics and business is business, and the Weegees understand that as well as wedo.”

  Now it was the Minister’s turn to be shocked. “I cannot believe what I am hearing. You mean to say that our holy war against the Weegee pagans will be a sham? I cannot condone such acourse.”

  The President was taken aback. Meade’s legions of the faithful were central to his political base. He hastened to interject: “No, Reverend, it will not be a sham by any means. We will mobilize the faithful at every turn to hate and smite the pagans. But, except for our continued battle against the Minervans, we will not attack them as a government. That would give the Weegees too big a target to hit back at. Instead we will leave it to the faithful themselves, under your guidance and that of your shepherds, to strike the holy blows. It will not be the Army of the United States that brings the Western Galactic Empire to its knees, but the Army of Christ, with you as its vicar.”

  Reverend Meade reflected. The offer was tempting. With government support, he could lead the battle against the galactic pagan foe, without interference from defeatists like Smith and Ripley. Furthermore, the hate campaign would greatly expand his own political base, and thus his private funding sources. And yes, it was true that the US armed forces would be of little avail against the fleets of the WGE. More subtle techniques were called for to strike effective blows, and these could be implemented far better by his own faithful followers than bySmith’s uniformed cannon fodder. He nodded, “Very well. But I’ll need arms, funds, and a base of operations to train my elitecadres.”

  “It can’t be inside the United States,” said Collins.

  “How about Peru?” the President offered.

  Meade smiled. Peru would do nicely. “Christ will bless you for this.”

  Hamilton watched the video screen in disbelief. Yankee Stadium was completely filled with people of every age and condition screaming at the top of their lungs.

  “Death! Death! Death!”

  The camera then switched to an image of the White House Chaplain, Reverend John Meade.

  “And what does Jesus command us to bring to the Western Galactic

  Empire?” the preacher asked the crowd.

  “Death! Death! Death!” the multitudes responded.

  “Death to the pagans!” called the preacher.

  “Death to the pagans!” responded the crowd.

  “Death to the Minervans!” the preacher yelled.

  “Death to the Minervans !” shouted the crowd.

  “Death to the Western Galactic Empire!” Meade screamed. “Death to the Western Galactic Empire!” screamed the utterly trans-

  ported crowd.

  Then cheerleaders deployed throughout the stadium began leading

  the several hundred thousand attendees in a furious chant.

  “Death to the Weegees! Death to the Weegees! Death to the

  Weegees!”

  As the mob chanted on, hundreds of floats depicting the Milky Way

  Galaxy were paraded into the playing field of the stadium. Then, on a prearranged signal, thousands of the Reverend’s flock jumped over the

  bleacher walls to storm the field. Surrounding each effigy galaxy, the rioters pulled down their pants and started urinating on its western spiral arm. The crowd cheered them on lustily.

  “Death to the Weegees! Death to the Weegees! Death to the

  Weegees!”

  Hamilton heard a sound behind him. It was Aurora, watching the

  video over his shoulder.

  “You Earthlings are quite insane,” she said.

  In view of the display on the TV, this was a difficult charge to dispute,

  but Hamilton had to try.

  “We’re not all like that.”

  Aurora arched an eyebrow. “Oh no? Are you claiming to be different?

  You who submerged your own conscience to murder sixpeople?” The charge of murder rankled. “It was not murder,” he protested. “It

  was combat. What I did was entirely honorable. If you hadn’t captured

  me, I would be a hero now.”

  Aurora smiled ironically. “My point exactly. Youcan’t say your

  behavior was right, because it wasn’t. So instead you say it was honor-

  able, which translates to mean ‘approved by the herd mind.’ And indeed,

  you are correct. If Ihadn’t collected you, that mob of psychotics would

  be cheering you this very moment. Does that make youproud?” The priestess had cut him to the quick. The crowd was crazy. He

  could see that. Would he have been their hero if he had gotten away after

  scoring on the Minervans? Certainly. Did that mean that everything he

  had done was just the act of a psychotic with a few more combat skills

  than the rest? Was there no courage, no honor, in hisplatoon’s heroic sacrifice? Did he have nothing to be proud of at all? He could not admit it.

  He would not. Yet the mob’s frenzy was a horrible mirror. Did he look

  that grotesque to Aurora?

  “Poor Hamilton,” she cooed, deepening his humiliation with sympa-

  thy.

  Now a large statue of an extremely beautiful woman was paraded out on the playing field. She wore a blue robe with a golden triangle pendant, and her spectacular auburn hair, elegantly coifed, was topped by a jeweled crown. A golden owl sat on her right shoulder, and in her right hand was a small golden staff topped by a double-headed ax. In her left hand

  was another staff, around which two snakes coiled in a double helix. “Who is that?” Hamilton asked.

  “It is the Empress Phila Minaphera, the 243rd, supreme ruler of the

  Western Galactic Empire.”

  Observing the golden owl, Hamilton commented, “Looks like she

  believes in Minerva too.”

  “Yes,” Aurora answered. “All the Weegees do. But note also the

  snakes of Aphrodite and the double ax of Hera. Their belief is not pure.” “So you mean they believe in all three Goddesses?”

  “They believe in three Goddesses, and in one triune goddess with

  three manifestations. Three in one, one in three, as they put it.That’s what

  the triangle symbolizes.”

  Hamilton was bewildered. “Three or one? I don’t get it.” Aurora shrugged. “Neither do we.”

  Suddenly flames erupted around the statue. As the flames grew, the

  cheerleaders led the crowd in a roaring chant.

  “Death to the Empress! Death to the Empress! Death to the

  Empress!”

  Soon there was nothing but cinders. As the ashes collapsed in a heap,

  the crowd shouted its applause.

  Hamilton turned to Aurora. “I take it the Weegees are not going to

  appreciate that little display.”

  Aurora shook her head. “No they won’t. But they probably won’t

  react so long as your people don’t actually do anything and the helicity

  keeps flowing.”

  Hamilton already had a rough idea of what helicity was, and so didn’t ask for more details. A more serious question was troubling him. A

  mass frenzy of the sort exhibited in the stadium could lead to war, even if

  tha
t was not the government’s intention. “If it comes to a fight, what are

  ourchances?”

  Aurora giggled. “Less than zero.” Apparently she thought the ques-

  tion preposterous. This offended Hamilton’s military pride. “What do you mean ‘less than zero?’ What do they have?” “Well for starters, the Western Galactic Empire includes over a hun-

  dred million planets, and has a fleet of over a hundred billion interstellar

  battleships anda hundred trillion space marines.”

  “For starters?”

  “Yes, that’s just their active duty forces. Counting their reserves, they

  have a hundred times thatmany.”

  “Oh,” Hamilton said. “But numbers aren’t everything. What’s their

  military technology like? Not as good as yours, I suppose?” “Much, much better. And we’d be on their side, remember?” Hamilton was awed. “So they would just crush us like ants.” Aurora laughed. “There you go again, with your delusions of

  grandeur.”

  Hamilton looked back at the TV. In light of the ridiculous imbalance

  of forces, the irrational frenzy of the rally seemed even more disgusting.

  He turned the monitor off.

  “Would you like to go for a walk?” Aurora asked.

  “Sure.” He needed some fresh air.

  Chapter 6

  As they strolled out through the amazing Minervan garden, Hamilton turned to the priestess. “Aurora, tell me about the galaxy. Is the Western Galactic Empire the only major power? Or is there also an Eastern Empire?”

  “So you want to know about Galactic geopolitics?”

  “Yes.”

  “Very well, I’ll gratify your curiosity. There certainly is an Eastern

  Galactic Empire, and it is almost as powerful as the Western Galactic Empire. The Eegees worship only Hera, the Goddess of might and justice, which makes them quite obnoxious. But they allied with the Weegees to crush the Central Empire during the recent war. It seems like a strange alliance, but the Eegees had no choice. The Centrals had them slated for extermination as soon as they finished withus.”