Confessions Between Us

by Tina T. Kove

  Sarah wasn’t tipsy anymore, but flat-out drunk.

  ‘You want to have a snogging session?’ Peter stared down at her.

  ‘Yes!’ She sat up so quickly they almost bumped heads. ‘Come on guys, it’ll be fun.’

  ‘It’s a bit unfair,’ Peter pointed out. ‘You’re the only girl.’ He nudged her. ‘Odds are, I have to kiss the guys.’

  ‘I like those odds.’ She grinned widely, clearly into the idea of her boyfriend kissing his friends. ‘You guys always get off on two girls kissing. So humour the girl for a bit so she can get off on two guys kissing, okay?’ She stared at all of us in turn. ‘I’ll even start. Make it easier for you.’

  ‘But what if you’re related to the person the bottle points at?’ I loved my brother and all, but I didn’t want to kiss him.

  ‘Then you can hug.’ Sarah put the bottle down on the table, away from all the alcohol occupying most of the space, and spun it. It stopped with the tip pointing at Leo.

  ‘Oh, the new guy!’ Sarah stood up quickly, almost losing her balance. Even when she regained it, she almost lost it again when she rounded the table.

  ‘Your girlfriend is so drunk,’ Andreas muttered, looking at Peter as he kept his gaze on Sarah’s back.

  Sarah was in front of Leo now, who seemed a bit apprehensive. She didn’t care, she just leant down and kissed him right on the lips, no hesitation. And she smiled smugly as she pulled back.

  ‘There. That wasn’t so bad, was it? Your turn.’ She stumbled back to her spot beside Peter.

  ‘You know you’re not coming out with us later, yeah?’ Peter asked her.

  Sarah waved him away.

  Leo sat forward to spin the bottle. It ended up pointing at Glenn.

  They stared at each other for a long second, then they seemed to move quickly to get it over with.

  I turned to Andreas, about to say something—but I had no idea what, so the words wouldn’t come.

  ‘Does this mean it’s my turn?’ Glenn leant over the table to spin the bottle.

  When it stopped, it pointed directly at me. Of course it did. As if my life wasn’t bad enough. Now the gods or spirits or whatever wanted me to kiss the guy who hated me.

  I slowly lifted my head to look at Glenn.

  Glenn was staring at the bottle, frowning.

  Of course he didn’t want to do this. I knew that, but something heavy still settled in my gut. I didn’t like getting confirmation that he didn’t like me at all anymore, even though I’d had seven months to get used to it.

  ‘You don’t have to.’ Andreas’s voice was low.

  ‘Oh, come on,’ Glenn scoffed. ‘It’s just a kiss. Nobody’s ever died from it.’

  He was going to kiss me?

  I’d been so sure he’d refuse.

  My body seemed to move on its own as I leant over Andreas to meet Glenn halfway. His lips were soft against mine and memories flashed through my head as we kissed. It didn’t last long. It was quite brief, but it also felt like it’d lasted forever. Two weeks worth of memories had time to flash before my eyes, after all.

  I didn’t dare look at him as I sat back, I only squeezed Andreas’s hand (the one still on my thigh) tight.

  Since Glenn’s bottle had pointed to me, it was now my turn.

  Please don’t point at Glenn, I tried to telepathically convey it. Luck was on my side because the bottle stopped when it faced Andreas.

  ‘Hell, yeah.’ Andreas grabbed my face and turned me towards him. A startled laugh left me, which made him grin. And then his lips were on mine and no one was laughing anymore.

  This lasted a whole lot longer and was a whole lot more intimate, than the stiff kiss with Glenn.

  ‘Come on,’ Peter yelled. ‘You’re not supposed to kiss twice. Spin the bottle, man.’ He nudged the table, making it rock slightly.

  Andreas pulled away and turned back to the table to spin the bottle waiting for him. It spinned wildly for a few turns and then stopped, pointing directly at Peter.

  ‘You better not kiss me like that,’ Peter warned.

  Andreas only grinned wickedly, the challenge accepted.

  There was no after-ski party for anyone.

  They’d all had too much to drink to manage to get out the door. Not that I was complaining. I was just happy not to have to head out to some club filled with strangers. Even worse; a club filled with drunk strangers.

  ‘You’re off to bed, girl.’ Peter shook Sarah’s shoulder. She was squeezed down in-between Leo and me, with her head resting on my shoulder. She seemed to be asleep, but she groaned and swatted at Peter’s hand now. ‘Come on.’ He grabbed both her arms and pulled her up, then easily lifted her.

  Sarah squealed, then wrapped her arms around his neck.

  ‘I’d throw you over my shoulder,’ Peter chuckled, ‘but I don’t want you to get sick.’

  ‘I feel great.’ She buried her face in his neck.

  Peter only grinned at Andreas, shaking his head, as he carried her across the living room and into their bedroom.

  ‘She’s going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.’ Andreas spread his arms over the back of the sofa, stretching his neck. ‘Actually, we all are. Except for you.’

  ‘You’re not that drunk.’ With Sarah’s weight gone, I leant against Andreas. ‘And Peter’s not so drunk he can’t get Sarah to bed.’

  ‘He might be too drunk to get to bed.’ Andreas looked at Glenn, who had stretched out on the sofa now Peter had moved from his spot.

  ‘Maybe you should help him.’ I nudged him slightly. Glenn was his best friend. He certainly wouldn’t appreciate me helping him.

  ‘Yeah. I guess I should.’

  Glenn came willingly when Andreas pulled him up on his feet and he let Andreas follow him across the living room and into his bedroom.

  I put my head back against the back of the sofa. ‘Are you having fun?’ I asked Leo, hoping I hadn’t dragged him with me to a miserable winter holiday.

  ‘I am, yeah.’ Leo smiled. ‘Your friends are great.’

  They weren’t my friends, but okay.

  Peter came back and dropped down on his previously abandoned seat.

  ‘Sarah all right?’ Andreas asked as he squeezed past the coffee table and our knees.

  ‘Sound asleep.’ Peter reached out to grab his drink. Or maybe it was Sarah’s. The table was a right mess. I had no idea which glass belonged to who.

  ‘She got drunk.’ I glanced nervously between them, afraid I said something wrong. But Sarah had been smashed.

  ‘Yeah.’ Peter sighed. ‘Sarah’s a great girl. Responsible. But when she drinks, she always overdoes it.’

  ‘Hey, we’re not exactly good at drinking ourselves,’ Andreas pointed out.

  ‘As long as she doesn’t drink enough to get alcohol poisoning,’ Leo said. He' was busy on his phone, but he looked up at Peter now. ‘Having your stomach pumped is not a good experience.’

  ‘How do you know that?’ I asked, surprised.

  Leo frowned slightly, shrugging.

  ‘Have you had your stomach pumped?’ I pressed.

  ‘Yeah. Once.’ Leo went back to his phone.

  ‘When?’ I’d never heard mention of him being in the hospital having his stomach pumped. ‘I don’t remember you being in the hospital.’

  ‘You were young. Kamilla and I didn’t want to tell you.’

  ‘Kamilla? How young were you?’ What the hell?

  ‘Sixteen.’ Leo glanced at Alex now. ‘Don’t worry. It’s no big deal.’

  ‘Alcohol poisoning is a very big deal.’ People could die from that. ‘Why did you keep that from me?’

  ‘You were thirteen, Alex. We weren’t going to tell you about that.’

  I drew my lower lip in between his teeth, not sure what to say next. I wanted to know more, wanted him to know I thought it was shitty they kept serious stuff like that from me, but I also didn’t want to start an argument.

  ‘He’s okay, babe.’ Andreas took my h
and. ‘Or else he wouldn’t be sitting here with us now.’

  ‘I know that.’ Of course I knew that. ‘I don’t think things like that should be kept secret.’ That was all.

  ‘Thirteen, Alex.’ Leo put pressure on the age. ‘That’s too young to know everything.’

  I didn’t like it—didn’t like it at all—but I grudgingly had to admit that he had a point.

  ‘I’m off to bed.’ Leo pushed up, giving me a small smile. ‘See you all tomorrow.’

  ‘We should all probably head to bed.’ Peter checked his phone. ‘It’s damn late.’

  I couldn’t contain my yawn.

  ‘Okay. Bed it is then.’ Andreas stood and held his hand out for me.

  We brushed our teeth and changed into pyjamas in silence, but once we were back in our bedroom, Andreas pounced me.

  I laughed as I hit the mattress and bounced—until he pinned me to it, that was.

  I stared up into warm, brown eyes.

  ‘I want to suck your dick.’

  ‘Yeah?’ I flushed. I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like he hadn’t sucked my dick before. He seemed to quite like it.

  ‘Need to practise.’

  ‘You don’t want to fuck?’ I kind of wanted that. Also, I was sort of tired, so I wasn’t sure if I was up to it.

  ‘No.’ He cupped me, squeezing gently.

  My breath left me as I relaxed into his touch, my eyes closing.

  ‘It feels good already? I haven’t even done anything.’ He slipped my pyjama bottoms and boxers down over my hips.

  ‘You touching me is enough.’ I could get off on touch alone with him. Probably. It wasn’t like we’d tried that, but he did make me so hot and bothered I could picture it.

  ‘Am I getting better at this?’ He stroked my foreskin down.

  ‘You’re already good at it.’ Just having his hand or mouth on me was good on my part.

  ‘Now you’re just lying to me.’ He sucked the head softly.

  ‘I’m not,’ I said breathlessly. ‘You’re great at this.’

  ‘I’m not great at it,’ he scoffed, sucking some more. ‘You’re the first guy I’ve done this with. But I’m getting there, yeah?’

  I only moaned as he sucked harder and took me deeper.

  Time sort of… stood still for a while there. His hands were on my bare skin, his mouth around my dick, and I just let myself feel. When it was just the two of us, like this, none of my worries penetrated my head. It was too filled with pleasure.

  ‘Andreas,’ I warned, peering at him from under my lids.

  He only kept on sucking.

  ‘Andreas,’ I warned again, head tilting back, body going taut as I climaxed.

  Andreas sucked me through my orgasm.

  Once I was done and my dick starting to soften, Andreas kissed his way up my body until he reached my lips.

  ‘Mmm.’ I wrapped my arms and legs around him. ‘Do you want—?’ I cupped him, then pulled back with a small frown. ‘You’re soft.’

  ‘Yeah.’ He didn’t seem particularly happy about that. ‘I’ve had too much to drink.’

  A surprised laugh left me.

  ‘I know.’ He grinned wryly. ‘Shouldn’t have had so much to drink. I so want to fuck you.’ His face nuzzled against my skin, tickling a little.

  ‘Tomorrow.’ I wrapped my arms around my neck again, hugging him tightly.

  ‘I can’t promise.’ He blew out an annoyed breath. ‘I might be hung-over. Hung-over sex is no fun. What if I puke on you?’

  I chuckled lightly. ‘Yeah, best to keep off of sex if you’re feeling sick. I do not have a particular kink for vomit.’

  ‘Good.’ He hugged me tightly. ‘That’s just gross.’

  ‘I think everyone’s going to be hungover tomorrow.’ I stroked a hand over his hair. It was coarse and stiff with wax. ‘You all had quite a lot to drink.’

  ‘Mmm, true.’ He kissed me again. He tasted of alcohol, which was not one of my favourite tastes. ‘You’re going to have to take care of all of us.’

  ‘I guess I can do that.’ I laughed, eyes squeezing shut as he pressed another kiss to my lips.

  I would take care of him if he was sick, there was no doubt about that. He’d been taking care of me for a month. I wanted to give back a little.

  It was almost like I wished for him to be hung-over, but that would be cruel.

  I only wished to be able to give back some of what he’d given me. That wasn’t too much to ask for, was it?

  Saturday, February 23rd

  Sarah groaned as she turned over.

  I lifted my gaze from my laptop screen to look at her, making sure she was alright. She still had her eyes closed, breathing slow and deep. Still asleep then. Good.

  She was stretched out on the sofa wearing Peter’s joggers and T-shirt. While they fit him nicely, they were baggy on Sarah. They were comfortable to sleep in though, which was probably why she was wearing them in the first place.

  ‘Morning.’

  I jumped at the hoarse voice to my side.

  ‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.’ Glenn sat down opposite me and he too glanced over at Sarah. ‘Is she alive?’

  ‘Barely.’ I smiled sheepishly. ‘She’s hung-over.’

  ‘Who isn’t.’ Glenn dragged his hands over his face, fingers rubbing at his eyes. ‘Where’s the rest of them?’

  ‘They were not hung-over, so they went skiing.’ I chewed nervously on my lower lip. Andreas, Leo and Peter being gone meant I was home alone with Sarah and Glenn. With Sarah out of commission, it was just me and Glenn here right now.

  I had no idea what to talk to Glenn about.

  He’d apologised to me—for the past month, anyway—but… He still didn’t seem to want to be around me. He had kissed me last night, but that had only been part of a drinking game. He’d kissed everyone else too—as had I. It didn’t mean anything.

  ‘You were sleeping so they didn’t want to wake you,’ I offered then, afraid he was pissed they’d left him behind.

  Glenn only shrugged as if it was no big deal.

  ‘You hung-over too?’ He’d been very drunk last night. It would be a miracle if he weren’t.

  ‘Yeah.’ He blew out a breath and ran a hand through his messy hair. ‘I don’t remember the end of the night.’

  Maybe he couldn’t remember kissing me.

  I didn’t know how to feel about that.

  I wasn’t going to mention it.

  ‘Planned on staying back here today anyway.’ He rubbed his eyes again. ‘Fuck. I need something to eat.’ He pushed up from the sofa and went to check the fridge.

  As soon as I became aware that I was following him with my gaze, I looked back down at my screen.

  I tried very hard to focus on the words, but for some strange reason, it was hard. Maybe because it was my own words.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Glenn plopped back down on his previous place, two slices of bread with ham and cheese on them on a plate.

  ‘Just reading.’ Or trying to, at least.

  ‘You’re doing schoolwork when we’re on holiday?’ His eyebrows raised in surprise.

  ‘No, it’s… fiction,’ I murmured. ‘Something I wrote last year.’

  ‘You’re a writer?’ He seemed to snap to attention at that.

  ‘Uh, yeah, I guess.’ I felt my face flush. ‘Just writing for myself though.’

  ‘You haven’t posted it anywhere?’ Glenn was almost… nice now. And interested. In me. Or what I was doing, anyway.

  Strange.

  ‘No, I don’t—no.’ I swallowed.

  ‘You should.’ He leant forward slightly, gaze intense on me. ‘There are sites you can post and people can read and comment.’

  ‘Comment on my stories?’ I moved uncomfortably, twisting my upper body slightly as I tried to find a better position. ‘I’m not sure I could handle that.’

  ‘There will always be haters, but there will be people who love what you write too.’ He took a bite of hi
s breakfast, still staring at me as if… I didn’t know where I was going with that.

  Him talking to me like this was loads better than the glares he’d used to throw my way, but I was very self-conscious about my writing. No one had ever seen it, except for Leo and Kamilla—and that was years ago when I wrote a lot more childish stories.

  ‘I can give you a link to a great site,’ he offered.

  ‘Do you post there?’ I instantly regretted asking as he seemed to shut down right in front of me.

  ‘No.’ He scoffed, but he’d looked away. It was a lie, and when even I could tell, it wasn’t a very good one. ‘I read sometimes. When I’m bored. That’s it.’

  Uh-huh, I thought to myself, but I didn’t say anything out loud. I didn’t need to antagonise him. Keep things calm and friendly, that was my thing. I didn’t invite conflict.

  If conflict came my way I ran away. It was instinct.

  ‘I’d love that link,’ I said instead, trying to ease the suddenly tense atmosphere. ‘I can check it out.’

  ‘I can type it in for you.’ He motioned to my laptop.

  I changed tabs so he wouldn’t be able to read my story before handing it over.

  He put the laptop on the table next to his plate and the keys clicked as he typed the URL in with one hand. The other held his food, which he was chewing on.

  ‘There you go.’

  I took the laptop from him and looked at the site. I needed to make a user to see anything but the main page, it seemed like. Well, making a user couldn’t hurt. If I decided not to use it I could just delete it again.

  ‘Thanks.’ I smiled at him. It was a little shaky, unsure. I had no idea where we stood now after his apology.

  ‘It’s no big deal.’ He looked towards Sarah again as he finished his first slice of bread. ‘Are you sure she’s alive?’

  I gazed at her too. Her chest was still rising and falling slowly. ‘She shouldn’t have had so much to drink.’

  ‘When Sarah starts drinking, she can’t stop.’ Glenn sat back again, head thudding against the back of the sofa as he stared up at the ceiling. ‘Not that I can criticize her for that. I’m the same.’

  I had noticed that.