Reign or Shine

by Michelle Rowen

  Had to.

  I squeezed it tightly and wished there was another choice, but I didn’t want to be queen and I didn’t want to die. There were no other choices.

  “Thinking about tonight?” Melinda asked me at lunch.

  I chewed on a french fry. I’d forgotten to pack a sandwich so fries and ketchup was my comfort food of the day. I also had a Diet Coke to balance out the nutritional value, so no real harm was done.

  “Tonight?” I repeated absently.

  “Yeah, you know . . . the formal? Nikki, you are on another planet right now.”

  Actually more like another dimension, I thought. A demon one.

  “Sorry, I’m a little distracted today.” To say the least.

  “Well, that’s obvious.” She sipped from her bottle of water and picked at her salad. “So I guess your stalker is long gone, huh?”

  “My what?”

  “Chris told me that he scared off your secret admirer yesterday. I guess it wasn’t a practical joke after all. Too creepy. I wish you’d called me and told me about it.”

  I scanned the cafeteria. There was no sign of Michael lurking around. I hadn’t seen him since last night.

  Good night, not good-bye.

  I cleared my throat. “Chris managed to get rid of him. I haven’t seen the guy since,” I lied. “I guess Chris can be sort of scary when he wants to be.”

  “Only because he cares about you.” She squeezed my hand across the table. “You two make such a great couple. Am I, like, a total cupid or what?”

  “You need a matchmaking license for how good you are.” I smiled. “Any girl would be lucky to go out with Chris.”

  She tucked a long piece of light blonde hair behind her ear. “After everybody sees how great you look with Chris at the dance tonight, I’m sure you’ll have lots of guys who want to stalk you. So you’d better get used to it.”

  I looked at her. “Gee, that’s a comforting thought.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Never better.”

  Her smile faded around the edges. “Would you tell me if something’s wrong? I mean, we are friends, right?”

  I nodded. “Of course. Nothing’s wrong.”

  “If you say so.” She studied me for a moment and looked a bit disappointed that I wasn’t telling her every single tidbit that took up space in my brain. “Listen, I’m ditching the rest of my classes to go to the salon. I have to look perfect tonight if I want to win the title of Queen. If you want your hair and makeup done, why don’t you come with me?”

  Another quick scan of the edges of the room confirmed that my stalker . . . or rather, Michael, was definitely nowhere to be seen.

  “Thanks, but there’s something I need to take care of,” I said. “I need to go home.”

  “I guess I’ll ask Larissa . . .” She glanced down the table at the bubbly brunette who would chew off her own arm to be Melinda’s best friend. “You’re not going to bail on the dance completely, are you? Because it’s important that you’re there. You have to be with me when I’m crowned Winter Queen.”

  I laughed at that. “Somebody’s confident.”

  She smiled again and shrugged. “When you’ve got it, you’ve got it.”

  I sighed. “I still have no idea why you want to be my friend. I keep waiting for you to change your mind.”

  “That’s strange, because I feel the same way about you.”

  “Obviously we’re both pretty messed up.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  I had no doubt in my mind that Melinda would take home her coveted prize tonight. She’d be Winter Queen. It was practically preordained. Like she’d been born into popularity, and it simply came naturally for her to dole it out at will to other people.

  Like it was fate.

  I’d been thinking about fate a lot since last night.

  I touched the outline of the potion bottle under my shirt again.

  I wished I could talk to my father. We hadn’t had nearly enough time together. His demon form had scared me, badly, but I’d recovered. I wanted to see him again and get the chance to say a real good-bye. Michael would take me back there, wouldn’t he? One last time before I drank the potion.

  I craned my neck again. Where was Michael? I’d half-expected him to be waiting outside my house that morning, but he hadn’t been there. I’d walked to school alone.

  When the lunch period was over I stood up from the table, throwing my half-eaten fries into the garbage on my way out. I’d made my decision. I wasn’t going to drink the potion until I’d had a chance to see my father again. But I knew it had to be soon. I knew there wasn’t much time left.

  My cell phone vibrated and I fished it out of my pocket. It was a text message.

  hey gorgeous I hope ur ready for the best nite of ur life—prince charming

  Chris. I rolled my eyes at his cute but cheesy message. My Prince Charming. He still was, I guessed. But his mega confidence wasn’t nearly as appealing as it had been before.

  I felt a bit guilty about leading him on when I had no intention of dating him anymore.

  After all, he wasn’t Michael.

  I had to leave. I didn’t want to be at school anymore, so I decided to skip my afternoon classes. I shifted my backpack to my other shoulder and left the school grounds, keeping one hand over the outline of my potion bottle while I walked.

  “Michael?” I said out loud. “Where are you?”

  A jogger headed in the opposite direction gave me a funny look.

  Talking to myself. That must have looked really sane.

  I crossed my arms and concentrated really hard.

  Michael? I thought, trying to be all telepathic. Are you there? Hello?

  There was no reply. Nothing.

  My frustration gave way to a thread of worry. Where was he? Did he think I’d already taken the potion? Wasn’t he coming back like he said he would?

  Michael, if you’re out there, please think something. Tell me you’re okay.

  I kept walking, but a little faster now. He’d said that the telepathy only worked when we were close to each other, hadn’t he? I’d forgotten. It was one small piece of information in the sea of knowledge about the Shadowlands I was wading through. I was so confused.

  Maybe he’d been punished for not telling me he was a servant. Maybe he wasn’t allowed to contact me ever again.

  I jogged down the hill leading into Hungry Hollow and over the little snow-covered bridge. The river was icy but it gurgled along underneath. Michael had been there twice waiting for me, watching over me. But he wasn’t there today. That park had been the location of a lot of drama for me lately and I suddenly felt very alone and vulnerable.

  Normally I would have thought I was just being all paranoid. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

  The huge guy stepped out from behind the oak tree and blocked my path. It was the same one from yesterday—the one with the knife. The knife he still had.

  “Princess,” he greeted me.

  Panic welled in my chest and I hoped that Michael would come marching down the path behind him, but there was nothing. Only the two of us stood in the middle of the empty park.

  “Leave me alone,” I told him and was surprised by how commanding I sounded.

  “Can’t do that, Princess. I have a job to do.” His knife glinted. “As a Darkling, you have to die.”

  I’d been told I had to do a lot of things I didn’t want to do lately—dying was right at the top of the list.

  My throat tightened and I held up a hand. “But . . . I’m not a Darkling anymore. My father . . . the king . . . he gave me a potion and I drank it. I’m completely human now.”

  He studied me for a moment and then sniffed the air. “If that was the case, I would sense it. I don’t smell only human. You’re a liar.”

  I took a shaky step back from him. “Who are you?”

  “It doesn’t matter who I am. The only thing that matters is what I
have to do.”

  “Where’s Michael?” I demanded. My heart slammed against my ribcage and every muscle in my body was tense. “What have you done to him? Have you hurt him?”

  “Who’s Michael?”

  “He was with me yesterday when you tried to attack me.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “The Shadow.”

  “Where is he?”

  “I killed him.”

  I gasped. “No!”

  His expression twisted into a cruel grin. “Just kidding, Princess. Why would I bother to kill a Shadow? But it’s very interesting. A princess concerned for the fate of her servant. I’m sure the king wouldn’t be too happy about that.”

  I felt like I was going to throw up. The thought that Michael could have been dead . . .

  He eyed me then, his gaze moving down the length of me and changing from dangerous to leering. “You are very beautiful, Princess. I can see why your Shadow has developed a bond with you. It’s unfortunate that I must destroy you now. I think we could have gotten along very nicely.”

  He closed the distance between us so fast that I didn’t have a chance to move. He pressed the sharp knife against my throat.

  Anger, panic, and fear surged simultaneously through me and my headache raged forward again so badly that my knees buckled.

  “Don’t do this,” I managed as I grabbed his forearm, but he was like a tank. I knew I couldn’t fight him off for very long. He was too strong.

  But I couldn’t just give up. I couldn’t just let him kill me. I’d fight as much as I could for as long as I could. Past the fear, past the anger, past the panic. I concentrated all of my energy on doing whatever it took to get out of this alive.

  My fear began to wash away from me like a sheet of water. I knew I should be scared. I should be begging for my life, but fear was suddenly the last thing on my mind.

  I thought of my father, I thought of Michael. This couldn’t be the end. I needed to see them again. One last time. The thought melded with the anger I felt and grew stronger and stronger.

  I felt something very strange then. It was like somebody had lit a hundred sparklers inside of me. Little bursts of energy shot around in my stomach, only it didn’t hurt. Actually, it felt pretty good. The sparks moved along my limbs, down my arms, and into my fingertips.

  “I promise to make this quick, Princess,” the brute said, so close to me now that along with feeling the painful sting of the knife at my throat, I could smell that he’d chosen not to use any form of deodorant that day.

  I raised my eyes to his.

  He growled. “No, Princess. You shouldn’t do this.”

  “Shouldn’t do what?”

  “Your Darkling . . .” He began to loosen his grip on me.

  “Darkling?” As I said it I sensed something shifting in my mouth. My teeth were changing. When I looked down at my hands, they remained my regular hands, but my fingernails grew to be long and black and pointed. I felt a rip, but it didn’t hurt, and from the corners of my eyes I could see the black wings spread out from my back. Strength unlike anything I’d ever felt before welled inside of me, as if I were a kettle filled with boiling water about to start whistling loud enough for everyone in Erin Heights to hear.

  I took a deep breath and realized that it didn’t seem cold outside anymore. The temperature didn’t bother me. I wasn’t shivering from fear. As my attacker backed away from me, I stood straight and tall and energy hummed beneath the surface of my skin.

  When I raised my hand I watched with amazement as a ball of energy formed and hovered an inch above my outstretched palm. The colors—red, orange, yellow—swirled and surged together faster and faster, the ball getting denser and denser the longer I concentrated on it.

  Too cool.

  The brute’s eyes were wide as he watched me. Was that fear I saw in his expression? But then his eyes shifted to red—he was a demon, too, but still in human form—and he roared, clutching the knife tighter in his grip, and ran toward me. Without thinking, I threw the ball of energy at him. It hit him squarely in the chest. He flew backward and landed hard on the ground.

  That’s all it took. He was out cold.

  I approached him in my demon form. I didn’t feel completely in control of myself any longer—it was like something else had taken over. Something much more powerful, and something angry that anyone would try to attack me in the middle of a park. There was a car to my right at the edge of the parking lot and I walked past it so I could see my reflection in its windows. I tilted my head to the side and looked with shock at the demon-girl reflected back.

  I looked different from my father. He’d been completely demon when he changed, but I was only half—a Darkling. My hair had changed from honey blonde to become red and long and flowing. It looked as if it was on fire, but it wasn’t, which was a very good thing. My eyes were red and catlike, with no whites showing at all. My teeth weren’t all sharp, only my canines—as though I wore fake vampire fangs.

  Small, spiral horns emerged from just above my temples, red like my hair and shiny like metal. My talons were black and as sharp as X-acto blades. My wings stretched out behind me to their full width—about four feet on either side of me, black and leathery and perfect.

  I still wore the clothes I’d left school in, as well as my winter coat, but it now had a huge gash in the back to make way for my wings. Underneath my clothes I could sense that lean muscle corded my arms and legs as if I were some kind of fitness model on ESPN. My hand glowed bright red from where I’d thrown the energy ball.

  My eyes also glowed red like demonic lightbulbs.

  Holy crap.

  Being a Darkling made me feel different than I did in human form. I felt . . . bigger, better, stronger. And extremely dangerous to anyone who messed with me.

  I reached down and felt at the unconscious brute’s exposed neck. There was a pulse. Demons had pulses. This was very good to know.

  He was still alive. Even though he wanted to kill me, that was also good to know.

  Suddenly the power that had filled me left in a mind-numbingly painful whoosh. I braced myself against the tree as agony swept through me. My teeth returned to normal and my hands, too. The wings retracted and disappeared completely.

  I felt utterly exhausted. In fact, I felt like collapsing to the ground, curling up into a ball, and falling unconscious for the next five years.

  Elizabeth had told me not to harness my powers or I might die.

  I’d just harnessed. Big-time. And the pain from it racked my body.

  I doubled over and fell to my knees on the ground. It took me a minute before I could stand up again, stunned and amazed and scared beyond belief by what had just happened. I felt seriously ill. I needed to rest.

  I’d just managed to save myself. But at what cost?

  12

  I was utterly convinced I was dying by the time I staggered home.

  “Nikki,” Mom called out as I made my way past her writing room. “Is that you?”

  “Yeah, it’s me,” I replied weakly.

  What could I tell her? I needed to get her to take me to the hospital. I didn’t have much time. Elizabeth was right. I’d used my powers and now I was dying.

  But instead of saying anything at all, I went directly to my room and closed the door. I knew what had to be done. I looked in the mirror on my vanity and saw a scared girl looking back at me. I didn’t want to die.

  Michael, I thought desperately. Where are you?

  When there was no response I sat down on the edge of my bed and pulled the necklace out from under my shirt. I uncorked the vial of potion and held it up to my lips.

  Drink it, I told myself. Just drink it and get it over with.

  Get rid of the demon in me. Get rid of any trace of Darkling. Then what had happened wouldn’t matter. I could get back to my normal life where the dance was the biggest thing I had to worry about. I could be normal. I didn’t have to die.

  Drinking the potion would solve all of my pr
oblems.

  Do it. Do it now.

  There was a knock at my door then and I pulled the bottle away from my mouth and jammed the stopper back into it.

  “Nikki?” my mom said. “Is everything okay in there?”

  “Fine,” I managed.

  “Can I come in?”

  I tucked the bottle of potion under my tank top and pushed the tears off my cheeks. “Sure.”

  The door eased open and she looked in at me with concern.

  I heard a male voice behind her. “What’s going on?” It was Robert.

  She glanced over her shoulder. “Nothing. Give us a minute, please.”

  He shuffled past the door and glared in at me. “Strong little thing, aren’t you?” he said unpleasantly. His arm was in a cast now—the arm I broke like it was a pencil when he hit my mother.

  “You have no idea.” My eyes narrowed and I felt my headache return.

  No, I thought. I have to stay calm. I couldn’t risk my Darkling coming out again.

  Robert didn’t give any indication that he thought our altercation was anything more for me than a . . . well, a lucky break. I guess he hadn’t noticed that my eyes had turned red. That was a relief.

  When he’d left and I heard the door at the other end of the hallway click shut, I looked at my mom. “I thought he was staying with a friend?”

  “He came back.”

  “I swear, Mom, if he hurts you again—”

  She raised her hand. “I know, Nikki. Don’t worry. It’s not going to happen again. I won’t let it.” She leaned against the wall. “I was worried that you were sick coming home early today. But you actually look wonderful.”

  “I do?”

  She nodded.

  I sure didn’t feel wonderful. I frowned at the thought. Then again, I didn’t feel that bad anymore. The pain was starting to fade away to nearly nothing at all.

  “I brought you something.” She entered my bedroom fully so I could see she held a paperback novel in her hand. “It’s the new one. I just got my copies today. I think you’ll like it.”

  I took it from her and checked out the darkly good-looking cover model staring at me. I ran my finger along the embossing on her name. “What’s it about?”