Britches Get Stitches

by Elicia Hyder

  “She’s my best friend. I tell her everything.” For a second, my heart stuttered. “Why? Do you not want me to?”

  He pushed my hair behind my ear. “You can tell anyone you want, Grace. This isn’t a secret. Not for me.”

  I took a deep breath. “Thank you.”

  He kissed me again. “But if I’m not driving you, I’m at least calling you an Uber. Deal?”

  “OK. Make sure you add a stop for coffee. God knows, I’m going to need it.”

  My sunglasses weren’t dark enough when I walked—I use the term loosely—out of my apartment a little while later. I’d been playing roller derby for the better part of a year, and my legs had never had a workout like they’d gotten for the past five hours.

  Jason was still upstairs in my bed, finally asleep after one last round in the shower. I’d admired him for a second before sneaking out, the perfect lines formed by his pecs, the way his hip bones dipped in tantalizing creases. God, he was hot.

  Monica was waiting at the curb when the car pulled up at 6:22 after stopping for coffee. She wore a Music City Rollers hoodie and earmuffs. Her head fell to the side as she opened the back door. “You needed a ride? Are you still drunk?”

  I yawned. “No, but I’m definitely not coherent enough to drive. Get in, I brought you coffee.”

  She shoved her bag into the middle seat between us and climbed inside. “You should’ve called me.”

  “I told you I’d drive.” I handed her a to-go cup from Milo’s. “For you, my dear.”

  “Thank you. What happened last night? You promised you’d text me when you got home.”

  I smiled behind my coffee cup. “I was busy.”

  She looked over as the driver pulled back onto the road. “With what?”

  “Or who,” I said.

  She gasped and turned toward me in her seat. “Oh my god. What did you do?”

  “Jason was waiting for me when I got home. He’s still there.”

  “Shut up.”

  “Yeah. He apologized for choosing Clay, and then he kissed me. Then he kinda dragged me up to my apartment and didn’t let me sleep all night.”

  “Let you, huh?”

  I giggled. “It was so good, Monica. Makes me wonder if all normal couples have sex like that. And if you’re wondering, the answer is yes, he looks even better without his clothes on.”

  She fanned her face. “OK. No more details. The married woman has to draw the line somewhere.”

  I laughed.

  “So what does this mean?” she asked.

  I shrugged as the driver merged onto I-40. “I honestly have no idea, but he asked to come over again tonight. I told him I’d call after the parade.”

  “What changed his mind? Did he say?”

  “He was supposed to hang out with Clay sometime this week, and Clay didn’t show. Surprise, surprise.” I drained the last of my coffee. “I guess Jason decided a half-assed friendship wasn’t worth it.”

  “How close are they?” she asked.

  “They were roommates for three years in college. Jason was a groomsman in our wedding. And up until Clay lost his godforsaken mind, they hung out all the time.”

  “So Clay’s going to be pissed.”

  “Oh yeah.”

  She pointed at my face. “Is that what this is about? Getting back at Clay?”

  Fair question. I thought about for a moment. “I won’t lie and say it’s never crossed my mind, but no. I really like him, Monica.”

  She patted my arm. “Good. He seems like a winner.”

  I smiled. “He is.”

  As we neared the parade route and saw police blocking off the streets, Monica was almost drooling on the car window. “I’m so excited about this. This is where it all started for us, Grace, and now my girls are going to see me skate with the team!”

  Monica and I had first found out about the Music City Rollers when we took her daughters to see the parade. Fast forward a year, and we would be rolling through the streets of downtown with them.

  The team was meeting at a parking lot off Woodland Street, across the river from the starting line of the parade. With the traffic—thank you, Nashville—we were almost the last of our group to arrive when the Uber dropped us off.

  There were a bunch of people with our group. It seemed as if everyone turned out. Skaters, refs, juniors, and of course, the Jeerleaders. They were all geared up with bright teal pom poms and tutus.

  Lucy was already there with West. They let us stash our gear in the back of his truck. He was wearing a white T-shirt with thick black letters. It read:

  “West, are you in the parade?” Monica asked.

  He nodded. “The board invited all the sponsors to come. I said I would as long I wasn’t required to be on skates. Lucy made my shirt.”

  “It’s really cute,” Monica said.

  “Are you feeling as crappy as my roommate this morning?” Lucy asked with a grin.

  I grimaced. “Probably not. Olivia’s bad?”

  “She was throwing up in the bathroom while I was trying to eat breakfast,” West answered.

  I made a puking sound.

  “You stayed with her last night?” Monica asked.

  “Yeah,” Lucy said. “We were going to go to West’s house, but I was afraid she might get us kicked out of our apartment if she continued the party at home. Styx did come back with her though.”

  “They made up?” I asked.

  “Oh yes. They did,” West said with a laugh.

  Monica looked around the lot. “Is Styx here?”

  “Yeah. She rode with us.” Lucy stretched up on her toe stops to look over the heads of the people around us. “Looks like she’s getting something to eat.”

  “There’s food?” I asked.

  There was indeed. Someone had organized a small table of breakfast foods: whole fruit, muffin, granola bites, and drinks. Strangely, most of us hovering around the coffee (hallelujah) had also been the ones hovering around the bar the night before.

  “Grace!”

  I turned and saw Jackie waving to me near a huddle of pint-sized skaters. She pointed to me and then to Monica and motioned us over. I carried a banana—hello, post-bender potassium—as we walked over.

  “Girls, I need a favor,” Jackie said, desperation plain on her face.

  “Sure. What’s up?” Monica asked.

  “I’m short a few parents today. Think you could help me wrangle the juniors during the parade?”

  My nose scrunched.

  Monica elbowed me in the ribs. “Of course we will.”

  “Great. We’re going to have a quick team meeting. Can you join us?”

  “Sure.” Monica grabbed my shirt and pulled me forward as Jackie began to speak to the crowd.

  “We’re going to line up behind the Rollers for the parade. K2, FrostFire, and Little Red Right Hook will go first, carrying our banner. Britches, can you stay near our banner girls?”

  I was peeling my banana.

  The woman standing next to me nudged my arm. “I think she’s talking to you.”

  I blinked and looked at Jackie. “I’m sorry. Derby-name problems.”

  She laughed. So did a few of the girls.

  “And yes, I’ll stay with the banner girls.” I turned back to the woman beside me. “Thank you.”

  “No problem,” she whispered.

  “If you’re a level-one or level-two skater, you’ll stay together in the pack behind the banner. Doc Carnage will be with you.”

  Oh, I liked Doc Carnage.

  Jackie looked over the group. “Where are my level threes?”

  Several hands went up.

  “If you’re a level-three skater, or if you’re off-skates, please see me for some junior-derby stickers and refrigerator magnets. We need to hand them out to every kid we see until we run out. This is great exposure and an excellent chance to recruit some new members!”

  Monica and I were proof that the tactic worked.

  “If you’re
not already geared up, get on it.” Jackie looked at her watch. “We’re rolling out to line up in fifteen minutes.”

  Monica and I walked back to West’s truck to put on our gear. Then we lined up with the league to start the journey across the bridge into downtown. The six-lane bridge was closed to traffic.

  I turned toward the girls who were carrying the Junior Rollers’ banner. “All right. Who’s who?”

  A girl with short blonde hair hidden under her helmet raised her hand. “I’m K2.”

  “Like the mountain?”

  “Exactly.”

  I gave her a thumbs-up. “Cool.” I looked at the next girl.

  She was tall and had long brown hair with bright pink streaks. “I’m FrostFire.”

  “What’s that name mean?”

  “It’s from a book.”

  I nodded like I found that interesting and looked at the last girl.

  “Little Red Right Hook. I’m Doc Carnage’s daughter.”

  “That’s awesome. I love your mom. Is this all of us?” I asked.

  FrostFire looked around. “Anybody seen Hellissa?”

  Hellissa, I liked her already.

  “She texted and said she’d be late. Her sister is in the parade too, so she’s going to try to make it here to meet us,” Little Red Right Hook said.

  “Who’s Hellissa?” I asked.

  “She’s one of our best skaters,” K2 said.

  Monica skated over to me. Her smile was as wide as her face. “You ready to do this?”

  “Yep. I just hope my body is too.”

  Turns out, it wasn’t.

  Judging from the navigation app I’d checked just before we left, it was a quarter of a mile to the start of the parade. Halfway across the bridge, I was already panting.

  “I never…noticed…this road…went uphill before.” I laced my fingers on the top of my helmet. “Monica…don’t let me…drink anymore.”

  “Right. It was the drinking that’s got you so winded.”

  The junior girls were watching me with a mix of amusement and disgust.

  Thankfully, I was wearing a backpack carrying what was left of one of the Gatorade’s Jason had given me the weekend before. God bless him. I drained the rest of it.

  Near the end of the bridge, the parade line stopped. It was another twenty minutes before the official start of the festivities. Up ahead of us, Lucy was waving her arms to get our attention. She motioned us forward. Monica told Jackie we’d be back in a minute, and we skated over to see what Lucy wanted.

  She leaned toward us. “He can’t come back and meet the whole team, but my boss said I could bring you guys up to the float if you want to meet Jake Barrett.”

  “Are you serious?” Monica asked.

  “Hell yeah,” I said.

  “Come on, we have to hurry.” Lucy led us and West to the front of the line to a parade float made to look like the North Pole. “He’s over here,” she said to us, then she started waving her arm again. “Ava!”

  A beautiful woman with long dark-brown hair turned toward us. Jake Barrett was standing beside her. “Lucy, hi!” she said. Then she turned and said something to Jake. He nodded, smiled, and followed her over.

  “Lights Out Lucy!” Jake bellowed, opening his arms. He hugged her. “I haven’t seen you in a month of Sunday’s, girl. How’s my favorite roller derby queen?”

  “I’m great. It’s nice to see you.”

  “You too. You too. Who’re your friends?” he asked, looking at the rest of us.

  “You remember West,” she said.

  The two men shook hands.

  “And these are my friends, Monica and Grace.” Lucy smiled. “Or Dr. Hooker and Britches Get Stitches.”

  He laughed. “These names. Y’all kill me. Nice to meet you guys. Hope you’re havin’ a merry holiday season.”

  “We are. Thank you,” Monica said.

  Just then, a flash of something beyond Jake Barrett’s head caught my attention.

  A flash of periwinkle blue.

  We said our goodbyes to Jake, and he climbed up onto the float. Monica nudged my arm. “What’s the matter with you?”

  I was gawking at the little girl being helped onto the float behind him. She was wearing my dress—the one with the hundred iridescent ruffles. The one made from Sinclair Satin.

  I turned to Lucy. “Who are the kids on the float with Jake?”

  She rolled over to me and leaned toward my ear. “They’re kids Zoey has helped in the past through Hope Haven.”

  That was when I saw the woman who’d been with the girl in my dress walking straight toward me and waving to get my attention. She had an older girl at her side. “I’ll meet you guys back with the group. Excuse me,” I said to my friends, and I skated across the parade line to meet them.

  This should be interesting.

  The woman extended her hand. “Hi, are you with the Rollers?”

  That was not what I expected.

  “I am,” I said.

  She put her hand on the other girl’s head. “I’m Sadie Worley. Melissa’s mother.”

  “Hi, Melissa.” Good lord, I was confused.

  “Hellissa,” the girl said, correcting her mom.

  Her mom sighed. “Right. Hellissa.”

  I blinked. “Oh, Hellissa! The girls were asking about you.” I looked at the mom again. “What did you say your last name was?”

  “Worley,” she answered.

  Not Sinclair. I guessed it could have been a married name. But why would she have ever been part of Hope Haven? It was a shelter for battered women and their children. I mean, you never really know what goes on in people’s private lives, but still…I felt like I was missing something.

  “Listen, Hellissa’s little sister is on Jake Barrett’s float, and I just don’t feel comfortable leaving her by herself. Could Hellissa join the team with you?” the woman asked.

  “Sure.” This was clearly not the time or place to ask about the little girl and her periwinkle dress.

  “Thank you so much.” The woman looked at Hellissa. “I’ll be here. We’ll wait for you at the end.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” Hellissa turned toward me.

  “No skates today, huh?” I asked, looking down at her sneakers.

  “I don’t have any skates yet. I borrow some from the Sweatshop.”

  Suddenly, I felt like the biggest asshole in the world.

  “Do I need them to be in the parade?” she asked.

  “No. Lots of girls are walking. Come on. We’d better hurry.”

  Sylvia’s dog wore a diamond-studded collar. There was no way in the world her granddaughter wouldn’t be able to afford a pair of roller skates. There was more going on here than I realized, and there was no way I could ask this girl about her sister’s dress without looking like a crazy person.

  “I really dig your derby name,” I said as we reached our group.

  She looked up, surprised. “You do?”

  “Yeah. It’s badass.”

  She smiled. “Thanks.”

  After the officials rearranged the line, placing our league behind a huge helium gingerbread man, the music started up ahead.

  “Thank god we’re not near the bagpipes,” I said to Monica, gripping my skull.

  Monica laughed.

  Three of the four of my banner girls were ready to skate, but FrostFire was playing on her phone. I bopped her on the helmet. “Don’t text and roll, kid.”

  “I’m not texting.” She turned her phone around. “This is Instachat.”

  I bopped her helmet again. “Put it up.”

  With a sigh, she stuck the phone into her back pocket.

  Monica was chuckling quietly beside me. “You’re a natural at this.”

  “Shut up, Monica.”

  That was the exact moment that my phone buzzed in my pocket. I straightened and started to reach for it, but stopped. “What’s the matter?” Monica asked.

  “My phone’s ringing.”

  “And y
ou just got on to her. You know you can’t answer it now.”

  I clenched my fists. “I know.”

  “I’ll bet it’s him,” Monica taunted.

  I growled as the phone continued to ring.

  “I’ll bet he really wants to talk to you,” she added.

  “I hate you right now.”

  “I know.”

  Thankfully, the parade started moving and I had something to distract me from the missed call burning a hole in my back pocket. It gave another short buzz, signaling a voicemail or a text. I clenched my teeth as we started down First Avenue. Spectators were lined up four-bodies deep on both sides of the street, waving as we passed.

  Jackie came over and handed me a stack of magnets and stickers. “Can you hand these out?”

  “Of course.” I split the stack with Monica, and we skated to the side of the road.

  My best friend’s smile was as big as anyone’s at the parade. She was like a kid on Christmas handing out those stickers and waving to all the kids. It was adorable.

  At the corner of First and Broadway, the parade turned right up the main honky-tonk strip of downtown Nashville. In front of the Hard Rock Cafe is where I saw a big white banner with my name on it.

  My brother was holding it over his head, with my nieces jumping up and down in front of him. Mom and Dad were beside them.

  Waving like a madwoman, I skated forward until I saw Medusa high-fiving kids in the crowd.

  I tapped her on the shoulder. “I need you!”

  She looked confused, but she followed as I skated over to my nieces. Their mouths were gaping. I snapped my fingers at my mother as Medusa hugged them. “Mom, get a photo!”

  The four of us grouped up, Medusa threw up the rock-and-roll hand sign, and Mom snapped our picture. She gave the girls high five’s before she skated away. I started to follow her, but I heard my name.

  “Aunt Grace!” It was Gabby. Her arms were spread wide.

  With tears in my eyes, I skated over and grabbed her. And Hope squeezed me around the middle. “I love you, Aunt Grace,” Gabby said.

  I kissed the top of her head. “I love you too, kiddo.” Then I pulled out my phone and snapped a selfie of the three of us. My brother may have photobombed it. “I’ll see you guys later. Love you!” I called, blowing kisses.