If he could talk her into sitting behind her desk again, everything else would work out. He knew it. He couldn’t think without her here, let alone examine how he’d been feeling in the week since he’d touched her. Kissed her.
He missed her like crazy.
He wanted her in his bed and in his world. She belonged here. She loved it here. Why was she being so stubborn?
On his way to the elevator, he was intercepted by Royce.
“Are you going straight to the vineyard from here?” Royce asked. “Taylor and I are staying the night.”
“That’s the plan.” Bran didn’t feel like celebrating but he didn’t want his parents and siblings talking about him. And if he wasn’t there—they would. He didn’t want anyone worrying about his state of mind or well-being. He was a grown man, dammit.
They stepped inside the elevator and Royce pressed the lobby button. “Is Addi coming?”
“No, she’s, uh. Busy.” Ignoring him, but still.
“You know no one bought your bullshit excuse about her finding another job, right? You two split up, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but it’s fixable.” Bran had no idea how to fix it, but he was working on it. She was going to come back. She had to. “We need her here.”
Royce remained stoically silent during the short walk from the building to their executive parking spots. “See you there,” were the last words his brother spoke before he backed out of the lot and left. Before Bran could follow suit, his sister shouted from behind him.
He turned to find Gia in tall high-heeled shoes jogging after him, a weekender bag in hand. “Can I ride with you? Are you going straight there?”
“Yes, actually. You mean you don’t want to carpool with Jayson?”
“Assumptions,” she reminded him.
“Get in.” He didn’t have the energy to argue and she was already climbing into the car anyway.
During the hour-and-a-half drive north, she finally pulled her wireless headphones from her ears and faced him.
“I know the last thing you want to do is talk about it, but for the record I told you Addison was in love with you. You didn’t listen.”
“Congratulations,” he grumbled, turning up the radio.
She turned it off. “Did you really not see a proposal coming?”
“How—how did you...?” How the hell did she know about that?
“The watch,” she answered. “I saw it in your lap drawer. I was looking for a sticky note to leave you a message.”
“I knew I should have left it in the wastebasket.”
“You didn’t!”
“Who else knows?” He slid her a glare.
“Come on. You know me. I’m assuming that’s the real reason she left? Because she proposed and you said no?”
“You’ve always been the smart one.”
“What a gesture.” She smiled softly. “That was really sweet.”
“Addison has a huge heart.”
“Why’d you say no?”
He chuffed and this time watched her for a beat before watching the road again. “Are you serious? You think I should have agreed to marry her?”
“Why not?” Gia shrugged.
“Uh, hello, my divorced sister. Don’t you have a list of reasons why not to marry?”
“Jayson and I are different.” She waved a hand. “Stop changing the subject. Just because my marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean I don’t want you and Royce to be happy. Don’t you love her?”
“Love is a big word with a lot of bigger consequences, Gia. I don’t understand this need to label and define everything. Why can’t Addi and I just be together? Be present in the moment?”
“Because, you jackass, being ‘in the moment’ leads to a future,” his sister said as he pulled into their parents’ driveway. “People are who they are. You can’t cordon off only the parts of them you want. And you shouldn’t.”
Bran sighed, tired. “All I know is that being around her made me happy.”
“Yeah. I know that, too.” She touched his hand. “Sorry, bro. It’s hard for a lot of people to compartmentalize. Except for me. I handle that like a boss.”
“You are the coolest,” he said, meaning it.
* * *
His mom and dad had hired caterers and the entire open-air patio smelled like grilled meat and veggies. Once the family table was set, Bran lifted his beer to another of his father’s toasts.
“My family,” Jack said. “I love you all.”
Royce sent Bran a bland look that Bran mimicked. Their father so enjoyed grandstanding. While he went on and on about how much he adored the legacy he was building and the great role his family played in it, Bran took a look around the table.
His father and his mother, Macy. Royce and Taylor. Gia and Jayson, even though they weren’t together, were sitting next to each other.
If Addison hadn’t been so damn stubborn, she could have been a part of this. Isn’t that what she claimed she wanted? To be part of a big, loving family? It hadn’t been easy for him to call her and offer her a seat at this table tonight, but he’d done it. For her.
Evidently she wanted all or nothing. He didn’t understand. Wasn’t some better than none? He hadn’t landed CEO, and as a result, found that the role of president suited him better. If Addi would open up to the possibility of having some of what she asked for, she could have almost everything she wanted. Sometimes almost was as close as you got.
Frustrated, Bran excused himself from the table, taking his wineglass and half a bottle of cabernet sauvignon with him. He tracked to the stone firepit at the edge of the hill overlooking acres and acres of vineyards.
The sun was waning, the air chilling. He refilled his glass and plopped down in the grass to watch it disappear completely.
“What’s up, man?” came Jayson’s low voice a minute later.
“I’m not sharing,” Bran told him, eyes on the sunset.
“Brought my own.” Jayson settled next to him and rested a bottle of wine on the edge of the firepit. It would be a good night to light it. The air was brisk up here.
“What happened, Coop? Did you draw the short straw?” Bran took a swig of wine.
“Are you kidding? No one wants to talk to you when you’re moping.”
“I’m not moping. I wanted to be alone. There’s a difference.”
“Yeah, I recognize the difference.” Jayson chuckled. “If you haven’t noticed, Gia and I have a turbulent but amicable relationship since the divorce. But it took a while to get there.”
Bran turned to ask him what his point was, but Jayson was studying the sky.
“Before we could get to the zen state which we find ourselves in now, she and I had to admit how we felt about each other before the divorce. We were in love when we were married. And we had every intention of making it work. After the divorce, we were angry. Would have been easier to say we never loved each other. In other words, it would have been easier to lie.”
“Is there a point to this diatribe?”
Jayson turned his head. “If you want Addison back in any capacity, you have to be honest with her.”
“Gia told you. I should have known.”
“Spouses don’t count.”
“You’re not a spouse.”
“I was. I’m grandfathered in. No getting rid of me.” He grinned. “Addison proposed and you turned her down.”
Thanks, Gia. A whole hell of a lot.
“I was honest with her.” Bran could not believe he was explaining this again. “She was on her knees in front of me, pouring her heart out.” She told him she loved him. She painted a picture of family and future. She’d been honest and transparent. “I hated telling her no, but I had to tell her the truth. And she hates me for it.”
Jayson kept his gaze on the vineyards below,
the dark rows and their shadows stretching in the waning light. “Is that why she hates you? Or is it because you lied to her about how you were feeling? Did you take a single second to absorb what she was saying to you?”
It was like his ex-brother-in-law was begging for a fistfight. “Did I take a moment to absorb she was asking me to marry her?”
“Yeah. Did you soak in the professions she dropped at your feet while she was on her knees? Sounds like she was vulnerable, and you were an asshole.”
Jaw welded shut, Bran spoke through his teeth. “I’m sure that’s the way she saw it. Hence her quitting.”
“How do you feel about her? Did you feel anything for her at all? Or were you passing the time?”
“I’m not sure why everyone makes that sound like such a bad thing. What is there but time? And we’re here on Earth for a relatively short period of it,” he said, liking this line of argument. It felt sensible. And making sense felt good. “Maybe I won’t wake up tomorrow morning. Maybe this wine’s gone bad and I’ll die in my sleep.” They raised their glasses and took long swigs, tempting fate. “Doesn’t it say something that I chose to spend each day with her?”
“Oh, so she should be grateful.”
“I was.” The honesty of those words shook him. “I was really damn grateful to have her in my life. I learned all these things about her I didn’t know. We had a lot more in common than I thought. She sees the Knoxes as some kind of dream family. I don’t know, I think she was trying to surround herself with us.”
“Are you that unlovable? I doubt she would have proposed unless she was over the moon for you.” Jayson narrowed his eyes. “I don’t see it. But I know what she means about your family. Why do you think I never left?”
“Maybe she was caught up.” Bran shook his head, his mind back on the conversations they’d had. When the night was quiet and their voices were the only sounds in the room. They’d been naked in more ways than one. “I gave her the wrong idea.”
“Or the right one. I don’t think you’ve thought it through yet.”
“I don’t want to marry anyone, Coop.”
“But she isn’t anyone. She’s Addison Abrams. The woman who turned you from an egotistical, hustling boar into a guy I used to hang out with a lot more often.”
Bran frowned.
“You were a dick this year.” Jayson leveled him with a look.
“Thanks a lot.”
“And then you weren’t. The right woman can bring out your best. How did she take the no?”
“She was devastated,” Bran said before he thought about it. He remembered the acute pain in her eyes when he attempted to let her down easy. Devastated was a great description. “And pissed off.”
“Broke her heart. I did that once.” Jayson looked over his shoulder at Gia. “What were you thinking when she asked?”
“What do you think I was thinking?” Bran raked a hand through his hair. “I was agonizing over bringing her here. Worried that bringing her to a family event would be putting too much pressure on us. I had no idea she was thinking of—Cooper, what would I do with a wife?”
Using Bran’s shoulder as leverage, Jayson stood, his smile evident in the grainy, fading light.
“Love her.” Jayson slapped Bran’s shoulder. “And hope for the best.”
Twenty-Two
After a week of ignoring Bran’s repeated attempts to woo her back to work, Addi decided to give her friend Carey a call. One, for emotional support, and two, was Carey’s company hiring? Over a lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Palo Alto, Addi learned that no, they weren’t hiring. At least she could count on her friend to be there for her emotionally. Carey might well be the only person left.
“I know you’re proud, but if you need money...” Carey was saying.
“No, no! That’s not why I invited you out. I’m not flat broke.” Not yet. Even though the car purchase had put a healthy dent in her savings account.
“I can’t believe you quit. You love ThomKnox.” Carey’s eyes widened. “Oh, no. It’s your boss. Who you were sleeping with. He screwed it up, didn’t he?”
Addi nodded, swallowing past a lump in her throat. “He did. That’s the other reason I wanted to talk to you. You’re my person.”
Carey’s hand landed on hers. “Of course I am! Lay it on me.”
All Addi had to do was make it through the story with as few tears as possible. Easy peasy. “The reason I’m not working at ThomKnox any longer is because I quit. And the reason I quit is because I proposed to Brannon Knox.” She felt the tears well in her eyes despite her trying to dam them. “He said no.”
“Oh, honey.”
Addi shared about the watch and the proposal given from her knees. Then she shared that Bran had helped her stand and told her what amounted to let’s forget this ever happened.
“I don’t know if I’m more humiliated that I proposed, or more humiliated that I love him and he feels nothing for me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do, actually. He’s been texting and sending flowers and P&P takeout.”
“That’s sweet.” Carey cooed, but promptly covered her lips with one hand when Addi shook her head.
“He wants his assistant back. Although I’m sure he would appreciate more sex in the conference room.” Addi ate a chip. She was so miserable her taste buds were on strike. It tasted like salted cardboard. “I was caught up,” she admitted.
“Babe. Of course you were caught up! You were in a relationship.”
“Not according to him.” According to Bran, they were in a live-in-the-moment sex-a-thon. “Sex changed nothing for him and everything for me. I thought we were building a life.”
“You acted from the heart. That’s never wrong. It’s not your fault he’s emotionally crippled.” Carey paused to order another margarita for each of them. “Never hold back. Follow your heart. Joe didn’t follow his heart, and don’t you wish he would’ve? If you would’ve told him you didn’t want to date him, he would’ve known how you felt about him.”
“Funny, Bran brought up Joe, too. He said if Joe would have confessed how much he loved me, I would have had to turn him down the same way Bran turned me down.”
“And Joe would have accepted it because he loved you.” Carey’s mouth twisted to the side. “What a catch twenty-two.”
Carey was right. She didn’t know Joe, but Addi had told her a lot about him. Addi could easily picture the scene Carey painted. Him telling Addi how much he loved her, and her letting him down gently. He would’ve joked and said he never expected a yes anyway. He would’ve let her off the hook.
The same way Bran was trying to let her off the hook now.
The reality hit her with such a suddenness, she felt dizzy.
“Bran doesn’t love me,” she said as a fresh margarita was set in front of her. “And I’m punishing him because he didn’t say yes. That’s as unfair as if Joe would’ve hated me for not loving him back. And he wouldn’t have. He didn’t. He probably kept his feelings to himself to spare mine.” Oh, Joe.
It’s okay, sweetheart, Joe said in her head.
“Is it better to know or not know?” Addi asked Carey.
“To know.”
Carey was right. Addi was better off knowing that Bran didn’t want to marry her. She could’ve gone another year aching for him and waiting for him to ask her.
“You know what? I’m going back to work. I can’t leave the work I love because he didn’t want to marry me. That’d be as bad as him firing me if I didn’t sleep with him. Being independent doesn’t have to mean burning down every bridge from your past.”
Even if it did seem to mean being alone.
She thought of her relationship with her parents and how rough things had been. After she left here, she was going to pay them a visit. What if they’d been reading each other wrong
this whole time? What if there was healing around the corner? What if one conversation where no one held back would finally clear the air? And if her parents felt the same way as they always had, that, too, would be an answer.
Knowing was better.
“I have the perfect job with an amazing company. And I spent a really great month with a really great guy,” Addi said. The silver lining was there, even if it hurt to think about it.
“That’s very mature of you.” Carey’s eyebrows bent with sympathy. “You don’t have to be okay right away, you know.”
“I’m not.” Addi gave her friend a brittle smile. “But I will be. I’m strong. I’m professional. I’m practical.” It was her heart that was impractical and unprofessional.
If Bran was willing to let the whole proposal thing go and invite her back to work, and after she’d dropped a big F-you at his feet, she’d be crazy not to accept his offer.
She’d been out in the real world, and knew she could find another job. But ThomKnox was more than a job. It was a passion.
So she and Bran weren’t going to be married and live happily ever after. That didn’t mean she had to forgo her professional future at ThomKnox.
* * *
Monday morning, Bran stepped into the office, half expecting Peggy the temp to be there in spite of him canceling her contract last week.
Maybe that’s why he wasn’t surprised to see someone standing at Addison’s desk. But he hadn’t expected a trim, beautiful blonde wearing a teal green dress. Her hair was down. Sleek and straight and brushing her shoulders. She turned her head and saw him and he froze in his tracks.
It was the first full breath he’d taken since she left. The first time he felt a sliver of hope that she might not hate him.
“Addi.” It wasn’t much of a greeting, but he couldn’t think of a single other thing to say. He’d been trying to bribe and beg her to come back, and here she was. “What are you doing here?”
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