So Many Tears 2

by Nicole Jackson

  “Oh, you think I’m bullshitting. Okay, I’ma give you a example of how deep the rabbit hole go.”

  “Okay,” she nodded, urging him to continue.

  “Alright, look, I was talking to this broad, huh? She was hot on the Gram, so I mistakenly thought that she was about something in real life. You know, she had a nice face, nice body, and posted about a nice life. Always traveling and shit. So, I scoops her up. We hits it off. The pussy is decent, but she got five bad ass kids. I aint know that from looking at her page, cause she’on never post all of ‘em. Anyway, every time I go over her house, she always begging. Her kids be wide awake, and she be wanting to fuck with them still wandering around. I aint gon lie, I was uncomfortable with the shit. Long story short, I started fucking with another broad. Turns out, they were cool. I aint know that shit. But you know how yall chicks are. They follow each other, so ole girl knew that she was stepping on her friend’s toes. She just didn’t give a fuck. Anyway, by the time I figured it out, it was too late. It was what it was. I kinda thought that the first chick was gonna be in her feelings about it, cause she was digging a nigga. Had gotten my name tatted and all. But I guess that was nothing to her, cause she pulled up to the club with my blood cousin the following weekend. I mean, she with that nigga ‘til this day. Just had his fucking baby.”

  Hearing that, Kim exploded with laughter. “You fucking lying! I know you lying!”

  “Hell, nah. I’m telling you. That man aint just go and fuck behind me. He galed the bitch. These new breed niggas don’t even have a code. They used to at least just fuck the sluts. Now that shit don’t matter. Niggas will get on the Gram. Hear all about a hoe’s track record. Hear the stories about her. Watch her thot around on different videos. And still hop in her dms, ready to wife her ass, if she gives him the time of day. I’m telling you. Times done changed, man.”

  “Or they’re just leveling the playing field. You did say that you were seeing her friend, right?”

  He paused and smiled. “I see that you listen. I can’t be mad at that.”

  “Uh, huh.”

  He stared at her.

  She grinned. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “You’re so easy to talk to. It’s like you were made for me or some shit.”

  She blushed. “Oh, is that right?”

  “Yep.”

  “And that’s why I feel like I can keep it real with you.”

  “Yes, you sure can.”

  He swallowed hard. “Honestly, I be having bouts of depression. And for the first time in a long time, I feel like I got something to look forward to. You do that for me, Kim.”

  “Oh, wow, Lickz,” she gasped. “I wasn’t expecting you to say that. Do you take any medication?”

  He licked his lips. “Yeah, I do.”

  “Well, that’s good. And I’m glad that I could be the one to brighten up your day,” she offered. “You definitely brightened mine, as well. I…I wasn’t clinically diagnosed with depression, but I’ve had my lows. Trust me. So, that’s why I only really have one goal these days.”

  “Oh, yeah? And what’s that?”

  She smiled brightly. “To be happy.”

  “To be happy, huh? Well, if that’s all you want, when this world is filled with vultures, a nigga like me will go above and beyond to get that. Real talk.”

  “Oh, yeah? Well, we’ll see, then. We’ll definitely see.”

  Chapter 19

  After taking a long nap, Kim rolled out of bed. She’d been working tirelessly to get her daycare up and running. The doors were set to open in a few weeks, and she was determined to have everything up to par by then. Therefore, this Sunday was her first time sleeping in, in quite some time.

  Sniffing the air, she could distinctively smell the aroma of fried chicken. Instantly, her mouth watered. Frankly, with the kids being gone with Rashad, and both Kay and Glenda being worn out from assisting her throughout the week, she hadn’t expected more than take-out for the evening. Nevertheless, she was more than ready to fill her empty stomach with some home cooking.

  Wasting no time, she threw on a pair of boy shorts and a sports bra, before making her way towards the kitchen. Strangely, as she approached the kitchen, she could hear the laughter of her children, although Rashad’s ass was supposed to keep them until Monday evening.

  Stomping into the kitchen, she was prepared to go off, asking her mama why she’d allowed Rashad to drop the kids off early without discussing it with her first. Those plans were derailed, however, when she realized that Rashad, the kids, Glenda, and Kay were all seated at the table, preparing to eat dinner.

  She narrowed her eyes. “What’s going on? Why are the kids back so soon?”

  Rashad smirked. “We just stopped by to eat dinner. They’ll still get officially dropped off tomorrow.”

  Left with nothing more to say, Kim sighed. “Oh.”

  “Yeah, baby, sit down,” Kay offered. “I was just about to come up there and get you, anyway. The food is ready.”

  Kim stood staring at the only available seat, next to Rashad.

  “Yeah, Kim, sit down,” Glenda added.

  Reluctantly, she eased next to him.

  Kay stood up. “Let me fix your plate.”

  Kim nodded, while focusing on her kids, who were sitting in their highchairs. “Hey, mommy’s babies,” she cooed. “Yall missed me?”

  Reanah nodded. “Yep. I mish you, mommy. I losh you.”

  “Aww, baby, I losh you too,” Kim gushed.

  “Kish,” Reanah puckered up, as she sat beside her daddy.

  Glenda tittered to herself, realizing that Kim would have to reach over Rashad to show her baby some affection.

  Rolling her eyes, Kim leaned over Rashad, and kissed her baby girl’s sweet lips.

  “Kish!” Junior blurted.

  Laughing, Kim leaned over further, kissing him as well. Once she gradually pulled back, she slickly noticed the bulge in Rashad’s Jordan shorts. She shook her head and mumbled. “You fuckin’ perv.”

  He shrugged. “That man got a mind of his own.”

  “Whatever,” she scoffed, as Kay placed a plate filled with fried chicken, mac and cheese, broccoli, corn on the cob, and cornbread in front of her. “Thank you, mama.”

  “You’re welcome, baby,” Kay smiled, as she sat back down.

  Kim cut her eyes at Rashad. “I’m still trying to figure out what you’re doing here.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “What you mean?”

  “How did you end up here, Rashad?”

  “Aint this my house?”

  Her jaw dropped. “Oh, so now you wanna pull that card? Where was it all these other days?”

  “Man,” he drawled. “Okay, man, it was like this. I wanted some Sunday dinner. So, I called Kay up, and she agreed to cook it for me. And here I am.”

  “But why call my mama? You could’ve called up a few people for that.”

  “Kim,” Kay shot her daughter a warning.

  “What, mama? I’m just asking a question. Inquiring minds want to know.” Kim folded her arms underneath her breasts.

  “Cause I missed her food, here at this house,” he clarified.

  “Well, I guess he told your ass, huh?” Glenda instigated.

  “Anyway,” Kim nixed her aunt off. “I find it mighty funny that you wanna come here for Sunday dinner, when you wouldn’t even do that when you lived here.”

  Rashad glanced at her and stared unblinkingly. “Well, Kim, sometimes people have to lose things in order to gain a better appreciation of it.”

  Needless to say, Kim was rendered speechless, while Kay and Glenda enjoyed every second.

  Clearing her throat, Kay spoke up. “So, Rashad, what’s going on with your mama? Is she okay?”

  Immediately, Rashad’s entire demeanor shifted. “Nah, she’s not. She’s back on that shit. She’s been back on it, to keep it real.”

  Kim frowned. “Well, why didn’t you say anything?”

  He sh
rugged.

  “How long have you known? When did this happen?” she pressed for answers.

  “I found out a while ago. Way before I left home,” he confessed.

  Kim gulped. “Was that a part of the break down in our communication?”

  Rashad paused.

  “Hell-o,” she sang.

  “Eat your food, Kim,” he finally spoke.

  “Oh, that’s too heavy for you, huh?”

  He tilted his head sideways. “You know, I like you thicker.”

  She bit into her chicken. “Well, you shouldn’t have stressed me out.”

  He nodded. “That’s my bad. You can always gain the weight back, though.”

  She jerked her neck back. “I’ll think about it.”

  “But say,” he tapped her thigh.

  “Huh?” she arched her brow.

  “Who was you with the other day?”

  She giggled. “I can’t believe you’re still on that.”

  “Yeah, I am,” he stated seriously.

  “Why does it matter?”

  “Because it does.”

  She tucked her lips into her mouth. “Okay, if I give you the information, then what are you going to do with it?”

  “It depends on what it is. I’ll figure that out, once I know.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “But either way, you’re doing something with this information?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, then, I’m not telling you.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I don’t know if I’ll like what you do after you know what you know.”

  “Well, that means that you shouldn’t do it no more, right?”

  “Yeah…no, wait. What the hell? What are we talking about, right now? Are you trying to tell me that I can’t do something, Rashad?”

  “Yeah, basically he’s saying that if you’re talking to some nigga, then you better cut that shit out,” Glenda interjected. “He aint having it.”

  “Yeah,” Rashad nodded in agreement. “That part.”

  Kim fell out with laughter. A part of her considered bringing up Kass, and dampening the mood, but she really didn’t want to. Call her lame or whatever, but it felt good to be sitting there with Rashad and the kids. It felt like she had her family again. Yeah, he’d hurt her, and possibly even betrayed her, but her spirit craved this. It felt good, so why should she deprive herself of some sheer enjoyment? So, if she wanted to pretend like they didn’t have a mountain of issues and would probably never make it work, just for one day, that was her prerogative. Wasn’t it?

  ***

  “Wait, I’m in here,” Kim fussed, when she saw someone barging into the bathroom, while she was washing her hands.

  “Yeah, I know,” Rashad commented as he stepped in, and closed the door behind him.

  She watched him through the vanity mirror. “Is there something I can help you with?”

  His eyes fell to her round ass. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

  “Oh, hell, no, nigga. It aint that type of party. I don’t know what you think this is, but this aint that.”

  Slickly, he gripped her hips, as he tucked his lips into his mouth. “What chu talking about?”

  “Rashad, you know what—”

  Ignoring her, he peeled her shorts off her ass. He then abruptly dropped to his knees and buried his face between her ass cheeks.

  Placing a palm on the vanity mirror, Kim rolled her eyes into the back of her head, as his tongue flicked across her clit. “Ooh, you’re one nasty ass nigga. I swear.”

  Kim was smearing her mirror up, as Rashad ate her from the back. Not being able to contain her inner freak, she found herself rolling her hips, as he had her sloppy wet. Soon, her shorts were on the floor and he had her pinned up on the counter, as he drilled into her. Standing up, he held one of her legs over his shoulder. Loudly, their skins clapped as they fucked feverishly.

  “Uh, uh, uh, uh!” she noisily panted.

  “Ooh, shit,” he huffed. “You still on that shot?”

  “Nooo,” she whimpered. “So, you gotta pull out.”

  Pulling her close, he delivered long strokes. It wasn’t long before he’d picked up the pace, indicating that he was about to explode.

  “Rashad, pull out,” she reminded him.

  Gripping her hips, he hammered away, while jerking inside of her.

  “Rashad,” she gasped. “What the fuck?”

  Pumping into her, he laughed. “The fuck what? We make pretty babies. A third one won’t kill you.” he throbbed inside of her. “Shit, maybe four. That nut felt like twins.”

  ***

  “You really look more like Kim’s sister,” Lickz charmed, as Kay sat across from him in Steak 48.

  Kay smiled gently, as the young handsome guy attempted to finesse her. “Thank you, baby.”

  Kim sat cheesing, grateful to see that Lickz and her mama were seemingly hitting it off. After weeks of dating, she decided to test him out with Kay. Kay’s discernment was always on point, and she sincerely wanted her mama’s input, as she explored someone new.

  After doing a little probing, Kim was able to get plenty of tea on Lickz. It was no surprise that he was a ladies’ man, besides, that was something he’d never denied. Thankfully, beyond that, nothing else could be said. People swore that he was a good father to his son and was pretty respectful to the women he dealt with. No one had claimed that he had a problem with keeping his hands to himself or anything of that nature, so that was a plus. The only real negative was his occupation. Kim was so over hustlers and their lifestyles.

  Regardless of what Lickz claimed, Kim was wise enough to know that he’d come fully equipped with similar headaches as Rashad. It was a given, and nothing other than a career change could solve that. Speaking of Rashad; things were complicated. He was around, communicating more, but hadn’t made his intentions clear. Then when Kim would peek at Kass’ Instasnap, she’d see her BD posted up with the bitch, so there was that. Which all in her mind meant that she needed to keep her options open, and Lickz was definitely a viable option. So, there she was, hoping to use Kay as a guiding light.

  “You’re welcome,” Lickz offered to Kay. “Kim was telling me that you can throw down in the kitchen. Hopefully, one day I’ll be blessed with one of your plates.”

  “Oh, yeah, without a doubt. Matter of fact, I’ll have Kim bring you one over the next time I cook.”

  Lickz smiled. “That’s what’s up. I’d appreciate that. My granny used to be the cook of the family, but she just recently passed away.”

  “Oh, no. I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Lickz responded solemnly. “Kim was there with me when I got the news. Did she tell you?”

  Kay cut her eyes at her daughter. “No, she never mentioned that. Well, I’m glad that she was there for you.”

  “Yeah, she’s been here every step of the way,” Lickz praised. “My granny pretty much raised me. She was my backbone, man. Losing her took a lot out of me, honestly. But your daughter has been keeping me smiling. I can’t even front.”

  Kay smiled proudly. “Well, that’s how I raised her.”

  Lickz beamed. “Yeah, I can tell.”

  Three hours later, Kim was gripping the steering wheel of her Audi, as she headed home. “Mama, why are you so quiet?” she questioned.

  Kay yawned. “I’m just thinking. That’s all, baby.”

  “Thinking?” Kim squinted. “About what?”

  “About how much we’re alike. Me and you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Yeah, we have this thing in us, where we just want to naturally save everybody. For some reason, it’s just in us. So, people in pain are just drawn to us. Men in particular.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “And that, uh, Lickz is it?”

  “Yeah, that’s his name,” Kim replied dryly, feeling some bullshit on the horizon.

  “Okay, well, he’s a handsome guy, Kim. He’s got nice peanut butter skin, and he
’s tall, just like you like ‘em. So, I can definitely understand the attraction. Then he seems to have a nice piece of change too, which aint never hurt nothing. But he’s troubled.”

  Kim gulped. “Rashad was troubled, and I never heard you say a word about it.”

  “Yes, he was, and he still is,” Kay held. “That’s my whole point. Rashad came along with a lot, and you took that on. You did. That was your choice, and you have to live with that. You decided on that, chile. So, there’s just no room for whatever Mr. Lickz is carrying.”

  “Huh? Wait, I’m not following you.”

  “Oh, you know exactly what I’m saying, my dear daughter. Mr. Lickz is going through some things and is looking for someone who can help him weather the storms. I’m just simply saying that you’re not that girl to help him go through that.”

  “But how can you just say that I’m not that girl, mama?”

  “Because…I’m your mama, and I know these things. You can’t give that man what he needs, Kim. After looking into his eyes, I can tell that it’s a lot, and you’re just not equipped.”

  “And why I can’t?” Kim wanted to know.

  “Because you’re not done with your children’s father. That’s why, sweetie,” Kay put it plainly.

  “But mama, you don’t know that.”

  “Oh, but yes, I do. You’re not done, you’re not done, you’re not done. Honestly, I feel like you need to stop this dating nonsense, immediately. That way you can deal with your issues and avoid hurting anybody else in the process.”

  “Mama, but Rashad is messing with—”

  “Girl, I’m not trying to hear that,” Kay cut her off.

  “But I’m saying—”

  “Kimberly, I said what I said.”

  Kim sucked her teeth. “You won’t even let nobody finish.”

  Kay pursed her lips. “I surely won’t. Not when you’re talking nonsense. At this point, I’m tired of playing with you and him. So, I’m no longer entertaining the bullshit. I’m only listening to grown up talk. Like shit pertaining to those kids yall brought into this world. The home yall created together. Shit like that. Other than that, miss me.”

  Focusing on the road, Kim rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

  “No, you whatever,” Kay grumbled. “Better not introduce me to nan other nigga. The fuck I look like to you? You and Rashad better get yall shit together. That’s all I know. Or I’m going upside some damn heads in a few.”