Don't Give A Dwarf (Dwarf Bounty Hunter Book 2)

by Martha Carr

  “It wouldn’t have if a certain wolf hadn’t tried to gut it instead of pen it in so I could tranquilize it.” The dwarf pushed the throttle away again to take them around the wide bend in the river. “It didn’t need two tranqs. We’ll be lucky if the draksa don’t pick up on a little extra flavor.”

  “Ha-ha. Flavor. Good one, Johnny.” Luther’s tail thumped against the hull. “Wait, what does tranquilizer taste like?”

  Rex growled and rested his head on his forepaws. “Bad idea, bro.”

  Amanda scowled at him and her face flushed before she spun away again and hunched her shoulders over her outstretched legs. “Whatever.”

  “Uh-huh.” He wrinkled his nose and ran his tongue along his top teeth. If we keep goin’ this way, I’m fixin’ to run outta patience. And she’ll run outta chances.

  “Johnny.” Lisa took an awkward step toward him with her shoeless foot and nodded toward the girl.

  “What?”

  “She’s trying. Not many kids in her situation would be able to bounce back the way she has. You have to give her credit for that.”

  With a grunt, he rubbed the side of his face and his thick red beard. “Well, shit.”

  I bet the kid’s listenin’ to every whisper and smirkin’ up there. Well, now we’re both embarrassed.

  “You know what, though, kid?”

  Amanda didn’t respond.

  “When I saw you leapin’ into that clearin’, the first thing that went through my mind was that I’d hafta keep a full-grown wolf off my hounds. That was some good aim.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “Hey, it’s true, pup.” Rex raised his droopy eyelids to look at her. “You were dead-on.”

  “Yeah, but not dead.” Luther stretched his back legs out behind him until they splayed comically to either side. “Piggy back there hasn’t kicked the bucket yet.”

  She wiped swamp-water spray off her face.

  “Might not have gotten in that first shot if you hadn’t pounced when you did,” Johnny added.

  The girl said nothing.

  He darted the agent an exasperated glance.

  She wrinkled her nose. “That was…a start.”

  “Yeah, well I’m tryin’ too.”

  “You’ll get there.” The airboat knocked against a piece of driftwood with a thump. Lisa gasped and thrust her hand out to clutch his bicep.

  He raised an eyebrow and regarded her with a smirk. “You need more time on the water, darlin’.”

  “Let’s take it one trip at a time, huh?” She noticed his almost-smile at her and didn’t release his arm as quickly as she could have. “Do you think you could slow down a little, though?”

  “Nope.” For fun, he cranked the throttle and with a roar from the fan blades, they hurtled even faster upriver.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Go take a seat, kid.” Johnny nodded toward his living room as Lisa and Amanda followed him inside. “I got somethin’ that’ll fix you right up. For the most part.”

  “It’s not whiskey, is it?”

  The dwarf did a double-take as she passed him and gave him a cheeky grin. “Girl, you get that outta your head. That ain’t happenin’ until you’re at least eighteen.”

  “What?” Lisa laughed and gave him a reproachful glance as she followed the limping girl down the hall.

  “Or unless you’re lyin’ on my floor with a bullet wound and need emergency surgery.” he shrugged. “That changes things.”

  “Not by you, though, right?”

  “If Doc Bruno’s not in, then yeah. Why the hell not?” He jerked his bedroom door open and strode inside to root around under his bed.

  The agent guided the girl gently into the living room and gave Johnny’s open bedroom door another disbelieving look. “Maybe don’t ask him those kinds of questions, huh? You might not like the answers.”

  Amanda laughed. “Are you kidding? His answers are awesome.”

  She cleared her throat and sat on the couch beside the young shifter. And that’s why an orphan shifter and a not-so-retired bounty hunter get along so damn well.

  “How’s the leg?”

  “Meh.” The girl shrugged. “Kinda stings.”

  “Oh, yeah. I bet. Do you have any shorts?”

  “Um…not like the ones you were wearing yesterday.”

  Lisa fought back a laugh. “I meant any kind.”

  “Yeah. They’re a pair of Johnny’s old gym shorts. Does that work?”

  “His gym shorts?” Her wide-eyed gaze fixed on the boar’s head over the mantle and she ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “Has he taken you to get any clothes at all?”

  “No. I don’t need new clothes.”

  “You don’t need Johnny’s clothes.”

  “It’s fine. They all get dirty or ripped or…bloody, anyway.” She peered at her thigh and grimaced. “Very bloody.”

  “All right.” The dwarf moved swiftly down the hallway toward them with a huge trunk balanced on one shoulder. “I’ve used this more times than I can count. Anything you could think of, it’s right here.”

  The trunk thumped loudly onto the floor and he kicked the latch up with his boot.

  Amanda smirked. “More guns?”

  “Very funny.” He opened the hinged lid, then squatted in front of it with a grunt. “First-Aid. We have bandages, gauze, tweezers, a couple of different sizes of scalpels… Morphine. Adrenaline. Heating packs. Ice packs.”

  “What’s in here?” The girl leaned forward to pluck a prescription bottle from the trunk and rattled the pills around.

  He took it from her, studied the label, and frowned. “Somethin’ I’ve been lookin’ for. Don’t you go lookin’ for it neither.” He slipped the bottle into his back pocket and continued to rummage through the trunk. “Coagulants. Anti-coagulants. Glue stitches—useful in a pinch. Needle and thread for the regular stuff. Alcohol. Disinfectant. Shit, that’s where my mouthwash went. Piece of advice, kid? Don’t let a fed go through your things when you’re bleedin’ out. They don’t put shit back where it goes.”

  Lisa frowned at him. “What was that?”

  “I’m talkin’ ʼbout Nelson a long time ago.” He sniffed and tossed the gauze, bandages, tape, and Neosporin onto the couch beside her. “Do you think we’ll have to sew that up?”

  She folded her hands in her lap and smiled pertly at him. “You do realize I’m half-Light Elf, right?”

  He draped his hands over the side of the trunk and grunted. “You can heal her completely?”

  “Well, no. But it’s better than Neosporin and a band-aid.”

  “Huh. We’d better use both, then.” The dwarf drew his knife from his belt and flipped it open.

  “Woah.” Amanda leaned back on the couch. “What’s that for?”

  “Those jeans are no good after this, kid.”

  “Don’t cut my jeans.”

  “I’ll buy you new ones. But you ain’t runnin’ ʼround with blood all over your pants. Not on my watch. Mud? Sure. A few holes from wear and tear? Yeah, okay. Not blood. Hold still.”

  She stared at the agent with wide eyes as he grasped the bottom of her pants leg and slit the denim cleanly to the gash in her thigh. He stood, snapped his blade closed, and shoved it on his belt with a nod. “Have at it. I gotta take care of that pig.”

  Without waiting for a reply, he trudged out of the living room toward the back door, which groaned open and swung shut with a bang behind him.

  The girl snorted a laugh. “I could have put the shorts on.”

  Lisa shook her head and studied the four-inch wound in her thigh. “And take away his chance to feel useful with a knife? Come on.” They both laughed, and she placed her palm over the injury. “Try to relax. This will help with most of it.”

  “Does it hurt?”

  “I don’t know.” She looked at the shifter’s wide eyes and grinned. “Tell me about it when I’m done.”

  Outside, Johnny headed to the airboat for the boar. Luther and Rex rac
ed toward him from the front of the house. “What’re we gonna do with it, Johnny?”

  “Hey, what if the draksa doesn’t like bacon? What then?”

  “I like bacon.”

  “Drop it, boys. Y’all ain’t gettin’ this one.” We almost didn’t, either. Johnny dragged the animal toward the edge of the boat, lifted it onto his shoulders again, and trudged up the dock.

  “Then why is it here, Johnny?” Luther barked and turned in quick, tight circles. “That’s not fair.”

  “Yeah, that’s like…like…shit, Johnny. It’s like leaving a fat ol’ pig outside right in front of us and sayin’ we can’t touch it.”

  “Good analogy.” With a snort, he dropped it on the ground in plain view of the kitchen’s back window and snapped his fingers. Both hounds sat. “Don’t move.”

  “Worst day ever, Johnny.”

  “Look at it.” Rex lowered his head and stretched it toward the boar. “It’s moving, Johnny. I can nip it a few times. Make it stop.”

  The dwarf ignored them and stepped into his shed for an iron stake, a sledgehammer, and the old chicken-wire fence he hadn’t touched in three years. When he came out with his supplies, the hounds ignored his last command and trotted toward him.

  “Hey, look at that, Luther.” Rex’s tail wagged as he sniffed at the chicken wire. “Know what that is?”

  “Is it food?”

  “Ha! That’s what you said last time. Johnny, that’s not for us again, right?”

  “Wait, that’s our pen?”

  “Remember when you cut your mouth trying to chew through it? Man, you were a real crybaby back then.”

  “I was ten weeks old! So were you.”

  “Yeah, but I knew the difference between walls and food.”

  Johnny dropped the wire and pushed the stake into the ground. He hefted the sledgehammer over his shoulder with both hands and stopped when Luther stuck his snout against the stake.

  “Ew. What is this, Johnny? Tastes like dirt and metal.”

  Rex stared at his master. “Something’s wrong with him, Johnny.”

  “Yeah, I noticed. Inside, boys. Go on.”

  “But we can help, Johnny.” Luther looked up at his master, saw the sledgehammer, and backed away. “You’ve got the opposable thumbs and all, but we—”

  “Go check on the kid.”

  “Oh, yeah. The pup!” Luther darted up the stairs of the back porch and through the dog door.

  Rex panted and stared at the stake that protruded from the ground.

  “Rex.”

  “I only wanna see you hit it once, Johnny. Come on.”

  “Git.”

  “Aw…fine. Party-pooper.” The hound trotted up the steps and stepped nimbly through the dog door. “Luther! You check the floor under the sink yet?”

  “What do you think I’m doing—ooh! Crumbs.”

  Shaking his head, Johnny swung the sledgehammer again and pounded the stake hard to drive it over halfway into the ground. The hammer thumped on the grass four feet away, and he squatted beside the hog to untie the creature’s legs and fashion a lead to slip around its neck instead.

  “Damn hounds. Good for sniffin’ out your hairy hide. Loyal as a hound can get. Good for the kid.” He tugged on the knot around the stake and grunted. “What the fuck am I thinking? She needs friends, not talking dogs. It’s a good thing a fella like you can’t talk.”

  After erecting the chicken-wire fence around the boar that began to slowly twitch into consciousness, he headed inside to where Amanda and Lisa were still on the couch, laughing. The girl had removed the ruined jeans and now wore his old pair of gym shorts.

  “Hey.” They both looked at him. “Where’d you get those?”

  “They were in my room.”

  I shoulda cleaned it out before I told her to get comfy in there.

  Rubbing his beard, he walked into the living room and pointed at the girl’s bandage-wrapped thigh. “All good?”

  “Yeah. Did you know Light Elves could heal like that? Okay, it’s…like, ninety percent, maybe. But still.”

  “I do now.”

  “The rest will heal on its own.” Lisa shrugged. “She’ll be fine.”

  Amanda snorted and pushed off the couch. “I already told you guys that.”

  “Where you goin’?”

  “I’m starving.”

  “Yeah, all right. You know where the kitchen is.”

  She hurried across the house, her limp noticeably improved.

  “Oh, hey, pup,” Luther said in the kitchen. “What’re you doin’ in here?”

  “Luther, look. The fridge.”

  “Oh, the fridge. Hey, hey. Grab that steak on the top shelf, huh? Johnny’s been a real selfish bastard with that one.”

  “It’s not even cooked,” the girl muttered.

  “The rawer the better, baby.” Rex sat at her feet and panted. “Pretend to drop it on the floor. He won’t know.”

  “Don’t touch the steak!” Johnny called from the living room.

  “I wasn’t planning on it,” she shouted in response.

  “Dammit. He hears everything. Hey, Rex. Think you could chew through this collar for me?”

  “If it was made outta steak, yeah.”

  The dwarf dropped onto the opposite side of the couch with a sigh and slung his arm over the armrest.

  Lisa studied him silently for a moment. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m waitin’.” He closed his eyes and rested his head against the cushion. I need a drink.

  “For the right time to go visit your draksa friend, I assume.”

  “Yep. We have a few hours still. This one likes to come out at high tide, so that’s when we’ll load up and head out.”

  “It sounds like you’ve done this before.”

  “It’s been a while, but yeah.” Johnny sniffed and crossed one boot over the opposite ankle. “Got a few pointers from the guy back in the day. It don’t happen all that much but sometimes, I come across Oriceran magic I ain’t seen before. This draksa’s got far more know-how in certain areas. He’s real smart.”

  “Probably because it’s so old, right? I heard they live for centuries.”

  “Well, I don’t know about all that. But anyone who settles in the Everglades is a damn genius in my book.”

  Lisa snorted. “Oh.”

  “Holy shit, Rex! Would you look at the size of that sandwich?”

  “What’s that you made, pup? Triple-decker?”

  “That’s a freakin’ quadruple—hey. Mm. You keep droppin’ mustard anytime you want, kid.”

  Amanda’s laughter rang out from the kitchen. “Come on. Back off. I made this for me.”

  “Come on, come on. Only a little taste.”

  Something wet smacked onto the floor, followed by the girl whispering, “Don’t tell Johnny.”

  “No way, pup. Are you kiddin’? He won’t know a damn thing about you droppin’ chunks of meat on the floor—”

  “You ain’t feedin’ my hounds in there, are ya?” the dwarf called.

  Silence followed.

  “No…”

  “Shit. We’re made,” Rex whispered.

  Claws scrabbled on the floor, combined with snorts and grunts and lapping tongues.

  Amanda stepped out of the kitchen with a massive sandwich piled on her plate. Lisa burst out laughing.

  “Now listen here.” He pointed at the girl’s sandwich. “You don’t need all that—”

  “I skipped breakfast.”

  “Half of that will end up on the floor.”

  “Fine.” She raised her chin and spun quickly on her heel. “I’ll eat it outside.”

  “Don’t you even think about goin’ out there without us.” Rex darted out of the kitchen and followed her. Luther went out the back through the dog door.

  “Don’t feed the hounds,” Johnny shouted again.

  Lisa chuckled as the girl shut the front door behind her. “I’ve heard about teenagers eating a lot, but that’s a mas
sive sandwich.”

  “Uh-huh.” He rubbed his mouth and scowled. Dawn didn’t eat like that and wasn’t merely any kid, either.

  “Do you think that’s the shifter part of her?”

  “If it is, I’m gonna have to double my shoppin’ list every week.”

  “She can’t eat that much.”

  Johnny turned his head slowly to fix her with his gaze and raised his eyebrows. “She eats that much.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah, I might not have thought this one all the way through.”

  It’s not like I give a shit about the grocery bill. I’m merely less prepared for raisin’ a shifter than I thought.

  “Don’t say that.” The agent leaned back against the couch and scanned the rustic décor. “You’re doing fine, Johnny. Sure, maybe she’s a handful, but what kid her age isn’t, right?”

  “You mean all the shifter kids her age who lost their family and were trafficked across New York all in the same week before movin’ in with a bounty hunter?”

  She rolled her eyes but her smile was teasing. “I’m only saying she looks happy. You too are more alike than I thought.”

  “Oh, sure. Two peas in a fuckin’ pod.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

  “Naw, it ain’t. If she’s happy, I reckon I’m happy too. Or I will be when we track this exploding Oriceran goo-face.”

  Lisa snorted a laugh.

  I can fool my own damn self into thinking this’ll all work out after that. Happiness ain’t everything, though, is it? The girl needs someone to show her how to be who she is. I ain’t sure it’s me but I sure as hell can keep tryin’.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Two hours later, Johnny stalked across the back yard with his improved tranquilizer gun and the hounds trotted at his side. “Wait’s up, boys. Time to go see a draksa about some goo.”

  “Hey, look at that.” Luther stuck his snout against the bottom of the chicken-wire fence and sniffed madly. “Piggy’s wakin’ up, Johnny.”

  “What?”

  The boar snorted and blinked at them as its hooves dug into the grass and it tried to stand.

  “Huh.” Johnny stepped back a few paces, aimed, and fired another round of tranquilizer into its meaty rump. It uttered a brief squeal, snorted, and slumped again.