The Very Virile Viking

by Sandra Hill

  The procedures were so primitive, they could only have been practiced by women in… Oh, let's say the tenth century.

  With a thumping heart, she asked both girls, "Do you know what year you were born?"

  "Nine eighty-six," Kirsten said.

  "Nine eighty-eight," Dagny said.

  Angela narrowed her eyes at a sudden thought… an incredulous sudden thought. "What grade are you in school, Kirsten?"

  "School? I have never attended school. The only ones who attend schools that I know of are monks and healers… and not all of them do."

  "What? And, you, Dagny?"

  She shook her head.

  "But that's impossible."

  " 'Tis the way of our land… naught unusual," Kirsten said. "Besides, Father Patrick—our grandmother's priest—taught us a little book learning and writing… on occasion. And we girls are instructed in all there is to know about running a household of three hundred. The boys master farming and fighting, or building ships, like Uncle Geirolf."

  Angela shut her jaw.

  "Our father told us not to discuss this with anyone," Kirsten was quick to add.

  She gasped, not because Magnus had cautioned his children not to discuss their past, but because the dates and schooling information that Kirsten and Dagny had supplied reinforced their father's outrageous time-travel claim. The girls must have misinterpreted her gasp, because they rushed to their father's defense.

  "Father meant no harm. He told us not to discuss those things to protect us." Dagny wiped a tear from her eyes as she spoke.

  "Oh, honey, I didn't mean—"

  "He is the best father in the world," Kirsten elaborated. "I know from watching the tell-a-vision and from talking to Lily that men like our father are looked down on here. They are considered crude and uneducated."

  "Father grumbles mightily about the troubles we bring him, but he protects us always," Dagny added.

  "You may not know this—and Father would not like my telling you—but half of us are probably not even his blood kin. People—especially women—take advantage of him by dumping babe after babe at his feet. He resists and complains loudly, but in the end he never turns any away. That is the way he is." Kirsten lifted her chin, as if defying Angela to disagree.

  How could she?

  Magnus was a grown man who might lie to her, but these girls were too young and innocent to have fabricated this tale. They were telling the truth.

  "I won't say anything," Angela said as calmly as she could, so as not to alarm the girls, but her thumping heartbeat kicked up a pace.

  Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

  In a world that had become very uncertain to Angela, one thing became crystal-clear: She had some things that she needed to settle with Magnus. But first she needed to settle those things within her own mind… and heart.

  A short time later, as the girls went off to the den to watch a movie and she was about to go downstairs, she passed the "nursery." It was not Grandma who was rocking Lida to sleep, but Magnus, who softly sang a song to her in a language she did not understand… probably Old Norse. As he crooned to her, Lida kept tugging at his war braids and saying, "Fa-Fa," baby talk for father. It was the newest addition to her vocabulary, next to "Goo." Even as he sang, Magnus would intermittently lean down and press a soft kiss to the baby's fine hair.

  The sight of the big man and the tiny girl touched something deep within Angela's soul, and she accepted something then that she had known, deep down, for some time.

  I love him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Girls just wanna have fun…

  A week had gone by and there had been no more attacks at the Blue Dragon—thank the gods!

  Despite the relative calm, everyone was restless and unhappy over what seemed like a forced confinement… though it was a wonder to Magnus how anyone could feel restricted on an estate this size. His children were getting spoiled, without a doubt, by all the niceties and conveniences of this land. They seemed to forget that just a short time ago they were content with privies and hearthfire cooking.

  The girls especially seemed to want more and more, particularly after their visits with Lily, which had continued the past few days. If he heard "the mall" mentioned one more time, he just might scream. Or boys. Or makeup. Or shaving one's legs, which he had forbidden until Angela convinced him otherwise. Just so she didn't suggest that he shave his legs.

  He, on the other hand, was restless and unhappy with good reason. Lovemaking with Angela had been off the menu since their return to the Blue Dragon, and he missed it mightily.

  They had just finished eating a magnificent feast prepared by Grandma Rose and Juanita. He went out on the lawn with Lida to play a game of run-and-run— then run some more, if she had her way—in hopes of tiring her out before bedtime. Usually he was the one who got tired out first. His old knees were not accustomed to this type of activity.

  In any case, it was no surprise that Kirsten and Dagny followed him outside to plead their latest causes.

  "It is just not fair," Kirsten started out.

  "When females say that thus and so is 'not fair,' a man does best to sit down, and preferably call for a horn of ale, because he is in for a long tongue-lashing." Magnus plopped down to the grass with great drama, lying flat out on his back with one forearm over his eyes.

  "Faaaa-ther!" Dagny said in her newest long-suffering voice.

  Lida giggled, thinking it was a game, and flung herself atop him. "Fa-Fa, Fa-Fa, Fa-Fa!" she kept squealing as she pounded on his chest.

  Angela walked up to them then and said, "Here, Magnus. I bought you a present."

  If you only knew what I am thinking, wench! His arm was still over his face. "I hope it is what I think it is." he said in his best long-suffering voice… an imitation of Dagny's.

  "Not that, you fool," Angela retorted. "I bought this for you today when I was out shopping for groceries."

  He removed his arm and looked up at her. She was handing him a frosty amber glass bottle. He lifted an eyebrow at her.

  "It's beer."

  I am thinking of her woman-honey, and she offers me honeyed mead. Ah, well! Magnus sat up and took the gift from her. "You bought me a horn of ale… well, a bottle of ale? What? Didst read my mind? Must be you are a Valkyrie. 'Tis the second-best thing you could have done for me."

  He took the open bottle from her and immediately took a long swig of the cold brew. It was delicious. "Aaaah! Drink of the gods!"

  "What is the first-best thing?" Dagny wanted to know.

  How could I have forgotten that I have children about? Especially since I always have children about. "Never you mind, M'lady Curious." He chucked Dagny under the chin.

  "I know what it is. 'Tis all boys ever think about." Kirsten wrinkled her nose with disgust.

  He and Angela turned startled gazes to Kirsten.

  "Kissing."

  Whew! He and Angela smiled at each other.

  That was Lida's cue to come up and give Kirsten myriad kisses.

  "Yech! She tastes like grass. Have you been eating grass, Lida?"

  Lida just grinned at her, revealing two tiny front teeth, and said, "Goo."

  "Do you not even want to know what I consider unfair?" Kirsten asked.

  Not especially. "Of course, sweetling."

  She slanted him a scowl that pretty much said, Do not patronize me, Father. "Girls my age should go to school."

  "I agree," Dagny said.

  " 'Tis only fair that you hire a tutor for us now, then enroll us in school come fall," Kirsten went on. "And we need a proper wardrobe if we are to go to school every day."

  "Every day! There is not enough to be learned to require daily schooling." Besides, who knows where we will be come September? This is only July.

  "Also, I think my bedtime should be eleven o'clock, like Storvald's. 'Tis not fair that I should have to go to bed at ten, just because I am female."

  "Well, I want a pair of jogging shoes. Njal says I am g
etting fat. I need to start jogging." Dagny blushed as she blurted out her needs.

  "You are not fat, Dagny," Magnus told his daughter. "And since when do you listen to the opinions of a person who thinks it is attractive to let snot run down to his chin?"

  "I will tell you what is really unfair," Kirsten continued.

  Holy Thor! She is getting as bad as Madrene. Blather, blather, blather.

  "Torolf gets to go to concerts… well, one concert, but I am sure there will be others. Lily is allowed to go to the mall whenever she wants, and she dyes her hair, and she has a boyfriend, and I want to go to her house for a sleepover, but you keep saying no, no, no. And if I do not get a tiny little tattoo on my hip, I think I might just die."

  "Is that all?" Magnus asked as drolly as he could manage.

  Dagny and Kirsten actually had tears in their eyes.

  "Dost anyone care to hear what I think is unfair?" Magnus grumbled.

  Everyone looked at him, and none of them asked "What?"

  "Well, I will tell you. There is something that I have sorely missed since we left the Norselands, and does anyone ever ask me what I want? Nay. It is, 'Give me this. Give me that. This is not fair. That is not fair.'"

  "What is it that you want, Magnus?" Angela asked, putting her hand on his.

  He took her hand in his, twining their ringers, stared into her eyes steadily, and told her what his heart's wish was.

  "A cow."

  The reason dumb-men jokes were created…

  Magnus caught up with her just before she reached the house.

  "Angela, dearling, why did you storm off just now?" I will ne'er understand women. Ne'er, ne'er, ne'er.

  She stopped so quickly he almost ran into her. "Don't you 'dearling' me, you dumb dolt."

  I am a dumb dolt But why now? "What? What did I do?"

  "A cow? Your dearest wish in all the world is to get a cow? Puh-leeze."

  That does sound a mite dumb. "You do not like cows?"

  She told him something really foul that he could do with his cows. He guessed she must be angry about something… something beyond his comprehension. He was beginning to understand why women in this country told dumb-men jokes. Still, dumb man that he was, he decided to try to explain himself anyway. "I am a farmer, Angela. It is all well and good here at the Blue Dragon, but I miss the care of my milch cows, the satisfaction of seeing my gardens bear fruit, the regeneration of the earth year after year, springtime plowing, autumn harvests, the smell of fresh-mown hay—"

  "Bullshit!" she said.

  "That, too."

  "You are impossible!" She threw out her hands in disgust, turned on her heel, and sprinted up the steps to the porch. He grabbed her by the upper arm and stopped her before she went inside.

  "Explain yourself, woman."

  "I was hoping you would say your dearest wish was to spend a lifetime with me, but I'm not entirely delusional. What I thought you would say was that your dearest wish is to spend the night with me."

  Oh, now I am beginning to understand. But, bloody hell, where is all this hostility coming from? Must be that time of the month. But he was not dumb enough to express that thought. Instead, all he answered was, " 'Tis."

  " 'Tis not," she replied, mimicking his form of speech… which was really unkind of her.

  "Settle down, Angela," he started to say, and immediately realized his mistake. Never, never, never tell a woman to settle down. What was he thinking?

  Her nostrils flared.

  Time to cut my losses. There is only one way to stop a woman when she is on a rant. He picked Angela up off her feet by the waist, wrapped his arms around her tightly, and proceeded to kiss her thoroughly… so thoroughly that he hoped her bones were melting, because his certainly were. With his lips still firmly locked on hers and her feet still dangling off the porch floor, he turned and leaned his shoulders against the wall. His staff, which had been at half-mast for the past week, went full sail, pressing into her stomach.

  How could Angela doubt how much he wanted her?

  Certainly all his children, as well as Grandma Rose and Juanita, who were surely watching the spectacle he was creating, must realize how much he wanted her.

  When he finally broke the kiss, he murmured, "How could you doubt my desire for you?" Any more desire and I will burst into flames.

  "A hard-on does not equal true affection, and that is what I want."

  A hard-on? A hard-on? That was certainly blunt enough. He did not need a translator to know what that crude term meant. Looking down at Angela's passion-dazed expression, he whispered, "It is my dearest wish to be with you… sex or no sex… for as long as I am able." Now, that was a stretch of the truth. "Do you believe me?"

  She nodded.

  He still wanted a cow.

  But he was learning when to share his thoughts, and when to keep his big mouth shut.

  We are family…

  Magnus and his children felt like family to Angela; so she decided to take them on a family outing the next day.

  Oh, she was still annoyed with Magnus about his preferring a cow over her, but obviously not too annoyed, because her choice for their day away from the Blue Dragon was the regional Grange Fair and Craft Show, a preliminary to the state fair in the fall. The dolt would probably get to see a cow or two today.

  Torolf's friend, Juan, was coming with them. He had borrowed a van for that purpose. The Universe Studios van had been returned days ago on the demand of a furious Darrell Nolan when he learned that his prize Viking was not going to be his prize Viking. He had threatened lawsuits and such for breach of promise, but Angela didn't think anything would come of that.

  Also accompanying them was Lily, who had already proclaimed that she had a crush on Torolf. Kirsten was casting googly eyes toward Juan, who, at eighteen, was much too old for her.

  Grandma said she'd rather stay home and relax… which meant that she was probably planning to chainsmoke the whole time they were gone. Magnus had organized hired security personnel and Blue Dragon workers to patrol the grounds while they were gone; he and his older boys would cover the night shift.

  Fourteen of them piled out of two vehicles as they arrived at the fairgrounds.

  After strapping an adorable Lida, with her Winnie the Pooh sun hat and matching jumper, into a fold-up stroller, and after Angela insisted that everyone slap on sunblock and wear baseball caps or sun visors, they made for the entrance.

  "I have been riding a longship on the high seas and working my fields for thirty and more years without suffering a sunstroke or the skin sun-disease you speak of," Magnus grumbled as he began to push Lida's stroller. One of the things that amazed her about Magnus was how he took on certain caregiving tasks without ever questioning whether it was masculine or not. He was that secure in his own masculinity… as he had every right to be.

  "Stop complaining. I could tell you enjoyed my slathering that cream on your face and arms."

  "There was that," he conceded, flashing a wide grin her way, "though there are some other body parts of mine that could use equal… slathering."

  Magnus looked just as adorable today as Lida, except he was wearing a soft plaid short-sleeved shirt, blue jeans with neat creases (God bless Juanita!), athletic shoes, and a Dodgers baseball cap over his tied-back hair. Surprisingly, his attire did not look out of place with the etched silver bracelets on his upper arms, which he never seemed to take off. Torolf never removed his either, and more than a few teenage girls were giving him and his armrings a second glance. It didn't hurt that he was wearing a black tank top and cutoffs, which showed off his muscles. He wasn't as tall or as muscular as his father, though. Not for the first time, Angela likened Magnus to a tree.

  Just then Magnus caught her checking him out and grinned. He gave her an equally thorough once-over, and his grin widened when he got to the spaghetti straps of her blue sundress, which left her shoulders and arms exposed. Like the other females, she wore a sun visor… in this case a clear blue
plastic one, with her ponytail hanging out through the back. On her feet were sandals, which left visible her shocking pink enameled toes… something that seemed to particularly please Magnus.

  In fact, he leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Methinks I have the perfect fantasy for later. Something involving toes and tongues."

  "Oh, you!" she said, and slapped him playfully on the arm. But what she thought was, Oh, boy! It had been seven long days and nights since they'd last made love, and she missed him with a passion.

  "Do you want me to take over with Lida?" Torolf asked. "The way you two are gazing at each other, I suspect you will be looking for the nearest hay byre."

  "Torolf, you overstep yourself," Magnus cautioned. " 'Tis no way for a son to speak to his father. Mayhap you will learn some manners if I decide to send you to the same school Kirsten and Dagny want to attend so desperately."

  "You would not!"

  "Do not test me, son, or you may find out."

  "All I did was ask if you wanted me to help with Lida."

  "You asked more than that, and you well know it. You can help me, though." He handed Torolf several bills. "I put all the younger boys in your care, especially Njal and Hamr. Do not let them get in trouble."

  "Faðir! You know bloody well that is impossible. Njal and Hamr cannot breathe without getting in trouble. Oh, for the love of Frigg! Do you see that?" Torolf scurried off toward the gaming area, where Hamr and Njal were about to throw darts at balloons.

  "What's so wrong with darts?" she asked.

  "They will hit themselves with the darts, piercing an essential body part, or they will hit the man standing behind the plank under the tent, or they will hit some passerby. That, I guarantee."

  "Maybe you are being overprotective."

  "Would you like to make a wager?"

  "A wager?"

  "Yea. Something involving pink toes would suffice."

  Where does he come up with this amazing stuff? Why do I find it so tantalizing? "And what do I get if I win? I'm not taking any more of your gold coins."

  "Tongue."

  Yep. Amazing and tantalizing.