Home Again (Finding You Book 1)

by Ana Ashley

  “I think you could give David a run for his money. Maybe you should open a café right opposite his and show him how it’s done,” I teased.

  David was still a ball of energy on our way back home. I was driving, which gave him the freedom to talk about the kids, the center, and his class while gesticulating wildly. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

  When we pulled up on our street, he asked if I’d stay with him again. I was starting to think there was only ever one possible answer to that question.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  David

  Having breakfast with Joel’s family before the baking class had been such a treat. His grandparents and great-grandmother were like an extended family to me, and I was ashamed to say it had been too long since I’d had a meal with them. They often invited me to dinner, which I gladly accepted since they always told me a lot about my mom when she had been growing up with Sílvia.

  When Violeta had started clearing the table after breakfast, I joined her in the kitchen. Joel was engrossed in conversation with his granddad, and Vóvó Deolinda was working on her crocheting. I had questions I wanted to ask Violeta, but I didn’t want to ask them in front of Joel.

  I hadn’t been sure I was ready for any of the information Violeta may or may not have about my dad, so asking her without anyone else around felt safer, like dipping my toes in the sea to check the water temperature.

  “Avó, do you know who my father is?” I had debated about how to approach the subject, but in the end, I decided to go straight to the question I wanted to ask. Violeta was a no-nonsense woman, and I knew she’d read me like a book.

  “Ah, my son,” she said with nothing but care in her voice. I loved it when she called me her son. “The truth is that I wish I knew, and I am truly sorry to have to say this, but I don’t think anyone knows. The only person who might know isn’t around anymore.”

  I thought I could take the disappointment, but it still surprised me when I felt it.

  “I thought Sílvia would know. When I found their journal last year, I was going to ask her, but then...” I didn’t have to finish that sentence because we both knew what had happened.

  “Take a seat, son. Let me tell you what I do know. I don’t know if it will help, but I suppose it’s better than nothing.”

  I followed her to the kitchen table and sat, clasping my hands together. She put hers on top of mine and started.

  “As you know, your mom and Sílvia were very close. They were like sisters. I knew your grandparents well, but even we weren’t as close as our girls. Anyway, when Gary proposed to Sílvia, they decided they would live in America after the wedding.

  Paula was quite upset at losing her best friend. It’s hard to believe, but the girls had never fought as long as they’d known each other. After Sílvia broke the news about moving to America, they had their first fight. They didn’t talk to each other for a week until neither could stand being apart anymore and they made up.

  Sílvia and Gary lived in America for three years until Sílvia became pregnant with Joel. Sílvia wanted to be close to her family when Joel was born, so they came with the intention of going back to New York when Joel was a year old.”

  I didn’t dare interrupt Violeta as she was telling the story, looking back at memories she probably hadn’t needed to recall before.

  “It wasn’t until they’d been back for a couple of weeks that they realized Paula was also pregnant. I don’t think even Paula knew until Sílvia was here.”

  “How do we know Sílvia didn’t know? Wouldn’t my mom tell her? And where was my dad then?”

  “I don’t know if your mom had a boyfriend. I thought Sílvia knew, but after your mom died, we talked about it. Sílvia didn’t know. Paula kept it a secret from everybody.”

  It didn’t make sense. Why would my mom keep it a secret even from her best friend?

  I had a feeling there was something else Violeta wasn’t telling me.

  “There was someone in your mom’s life at the time.” Violeta looked apprehensive, almost like she was choosing her words carefully.

  “Who?”

  “His name was Vítor.”

  “Her high school boyfriend?”

  “I don’t know about that. I always thought he was gay, but I don’t know for sure. They went to the same school. When he came back from military service, I used to see them together a lot, even more after Sílvia left.”

  “Where is this Vítor?”

  “He’s been gone a long time. The best person to ask is your uncle.”

  What? My uncle? Why? Fuck, there was no way I’d talk to my uncle about this.

  “Thanks, Avó Violeta. I appreciate you telling me all this, and I’m sorry I don’t come around as often. I’m going to change that.” I got up from my chair and gave her a heartfelt hug just before I saw Joel smiling from where he stood leaning against the frame of the kitchen door.

  Joel had driven us into Lisbon, which gave me some time to process the conversation with Violeta, but as soon as we got to the center, my focus was on the kids and the class.

  We had such a great time at the center. I was still buzzing from it on the way home. The class had gone exceptionally well, the kids had loved it, and I’d talked to them about enrolling in a catering course if they were serious about it. I could top up their learning with more practical classes to help them practice.

  I was still talking about my ideas to help the kids as we walked into my apartment. Joel went straight to the kitchen to put away the custard tarts the kids insisted we bring home.

  I opened the balcony door and leaned against the railing. When I heard Joel coming back to the living room, I turned around and smiled. He stopped in his tracks and smiled back at me.

  We stood like that for a few seconds, each waiting for the other to make a move.

  I don’t know if it was because of the perfect day we’d had, because Isaac had “approved” of Joel even though I hadn’t officially told him we were together, or because I just couldn’t resist this man, but what I was feeling was unmistakable.

  Joel launched at me at the same time as I moved forward and caught him. His mouth was on mine immediately, and his legs wrapped around my waist. He moaned when I held him in place with my hands on his ass but didn’t stop kissing me.

  My need for him hit me like a freight train, so without moving my mouth from his and my hands from where they were holding his ass, I took us to my bedroom, fortunately without any major bumps or bruises along the way.

  I lowered him on my bed, but he didn’t unwrap his legs, so I had no choice but to fall on top of him. His position allowed our cocks to align deliciously together despite our height difference.

  “Jesus, Joel,” I gasped, grinding against him and feeling how hard he was. “Clothes. Off.”

  We separated for a few seconds to get rid of our clothes and then resumed our position, except now we were completely naked. I kissed his cheek and nibbled on his earlobe while he pushed up against me.

  I could feel him searching for air as I pulled out all the guns in my arsenal to make him feel good until he stopped me. He turned us so I was sitting on the bed and he was straddling me, looking into my eyes.

  “David, baby,” he said, an unnamed expression on his face, “it’s okay if you’re not ready, but I...” He ran his hands through his now very messy hair.

  “What’s up? You can ask me anything. You know that, right?” I put my hands on the top of his legs, massaging them gently, feeling his light blond hairs under my hands.

  “I want you to make love to me, David.”

  I realized then he wasn’t talking about all the stuff we’d done before, which to me still fell under the “making love” category.

  “It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he said quickly, trying to take back his request.

  “Don’t take my silence for refusal, Joel.” I put my hands on either side of his face and kissed him gently. “Don’t you realize I can no more refuse y
ou anything than I can willingly stop my heart from falling for you?”

  I didn’t allow Joel time to react to my declaration before I kissed him again. Our tongues played together a game of teasing and taunting. There were only winners in this game because I was pretty sure Joel was enjoying it as much as I was.

  I hadn’t felt like myself for a very long time, certainly not as an adult and for extended periods of time. Volunteering at the center was like a tonic I could take periodically, but being near Joel, touching him, feeling him wasn’t just medicine; it was like being home in all senses of the word.

  That was the reason why I had no hesitation or reluctance discussing the particulars of what we were doing. There was no point in hiding it. I’d never been with another man like this, and he knew it.

  Joel being my first was just how it was meant to be. I knew that to my core. My body had been waiting for his. I just didn’t know it. I’d had plenty of opportunities to be with other men, and to a degree, I’d wondered if there was something wrong with me for not being interested in them. Not anymore since Joel was my own personal aphrodisiac.

  “How is this going to work exactly?” I asked while running my blunt fingernails up Joel’s sides and back, making him shiver.

  “Well,” he said, putting a finger to his chin, “let me see. The rules are that the better looking of us gets to choose if they’re topping or bottoming.”

  “The rules.”

  “Yup, and since I’m clearly the better-looking one, I—”

  He was a fucking cute smartass, but I was stronger, so I put an arm around his waist and flipped us so I was on top of him again. While he was giggling, I grabbed his wrists and held them above his head.

  “You were saying...”

  “I... well, I...” he stammered.

  “You said you were the better looking of the two of us. I won’t disagree.” I looked him up and down, paying particular attention to his hard cock trapped between us already with a bead of precum sticking to his abdomen.

  “Fuck, David, I want you inside me so fucking bad.”

  “I thought you’d never say it.” I slammed my mouth on his so hard I was sure we’d both still feel it in the morning, and then I ran my tongue down his body until it reached its destination.

  I took him in my mouth, his taste now so familiar, and sucked the head of his cock until he was bucking his hips, wanting more.

  I replaced my mouth with my hand, slowing my movements but adding a bit of pressure.

  “Can you reach out for the condoms and lube?” I asked, hoping he wouldn’t ask why I had those supplies in the first place. I’d only got them this afternoon when he was talking to Isaac and I had a chance to run down to the drug store around the corner from the center. “Um… bedside table.”

  He reached to get the supplies but had to turn over, and since I hadn’t stopped touching him in some way or another, he was cursing me to hell, especially when I found a sensitive spot on the back of his knees. I would have to remember that for future reference.

  When I saw he had a condom and the lube bottle in his hand, I lifted his hips so he turned completely and pulled him toward me, placing him on his knees.

  “You have a fucking perfect ass, sweetheart.”

  “You better get on with it and get in—Fuuuck,” he moaned as I ran my tongue down his crease. I nibbled on the globes of his ass and went back to swirling my tongue around his opening.

  “David, stop... please!”

  I froze. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? Was that wrong?” I panicked. All I wanted was to make him feel good. Even with my nonexistent experience, I’d still watched plenty of porn and looked up information online to know what to do, but maybe Joel didn’t like what I was doing or it hurt or something.

  “No, hell no! Another time you can go to town on my ass with your tongue, but I want to come with you inside me, and I was seconds away from blowing.”

  “I’m that good, huh?” I asked with relief and a tinge of satisfaction.

  He got up on his knees to face me and looking into my eyes as he said, “You’re fucking perfect, David.” He then lay down on his back and expertly rolled the condom down my cock and then placed the lube in my hand.

  “Make me ready, baby.”

  And so I did. I was nervous because I didn’t want to hurt him, but the noises he was making as my lubed finger moved in and out of his tight hole gave me the confidence to carry on. When he was ready and begging for my cock, I obliged.

  Joel felt tight and warm, and having to enter him slowly only accentuated every single detail to me, his slow deep breaths, the light sheen of sweat on his forehead, his abdominal muscles contracting, and the soft muscle opening relaxing around me, but mostly, it was the look of pure bliss on his face.

  It was almost too much. Both in the sense that I could come at any second and that I felt like my soul was finally latching on to its other half. How was it possible that I felt calm and exhilarated at the same time?

  I almost didn’t realize I was fully seated inside Joel until he let out a content sigh. His eyes were half-lidded in abandoned pleasure. I was making this good for him, and I didn’t even know what the hell I was doing.

  He started to move under me, which prompted me to follow suit. My hips wanted to move faster. The pressure on my lower back was telling me my orgasm was imminent, but that wasn’t what I wanted. This wasn’t about chasing my orgasm. This was about telling Joel how I felt, showing him so there was no doubt whatsoever.

  “David, I’m close.” His breathing was erratic, and he was holding me close, using the heels of his feet to keep me inside him.

  Without even withdrawing from him, I kept pushing in, trying to get further and further inside him, trying to find that place I knew was just for me, my home.

  Our bodies were so close together there wasn’t an inch of space between us. I could feel Joel’s cock hard and leaking, desperate for release.

  Joel brought his hands up to hold my face in place. “Look at me, David, I...”

  He didn’t finish what he was going to say because his orgasm ripped through him like a house on fire. His eyes were closed and his eyebrows furrowed as though he was in pain, but I knew there was nothing but pleasure coursing through him.

  Looking at him enjoying the aftershocks of his orgasm as he slowly opened his eyes was all it took for me to let it finally go. It was explosive, life-altering, and so much more than sex.

  Neither of us could speak for a few minutes while we recovered. We just stared at each other in post-orgasmic bliss, unable to say a word.

  It wasn’t late, but once we cleaned up and curled up together in bed again, it didn’t take long until I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later needing to use the bathroom. Joel was in his usual sleeping position with his arms and legs around me, so I was careful to extract myself from him without waking him up.

  I looked at the time. It was just past two in the morning. Joel was lying on my bed like he was meant to be there. I joined him, making sure to place his arms around me again and his leg on top of mine.

  As he stirred slightly, holding me even tighter and nuzzling my neck, he uttered the words I’d been waiting to hear for a lifetime but also had the power to break me.

  “Mmm, I love you...David.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Joel

  I woke up with a jolt and my heart racing out of my chest. I realized very quickly that I was alone in bed because since I’d started sleeping with David, I’d always woken up wrapped around him like a vine. I reached for his side and was happy that it was still warm, which meant he hadn’t been gone that long. I shifted over so I was lying on his warm spot.

  His pillow smelled of him, which took me back to last night. It had been hands down the best night of my life. I smiled to myself at the thought. It seemed as though each night with David now topped any of the previous nights.

  During our lovemaking, I nearly blurted out that I loved him, and it was only
my mind-blowing orgasm that stopped me from doing so by rendering me speechless. I hadn’t missed David’s declaration either. He’d said he was falling for me. I took a deep breath to take in his scent and burrowed further into the cozy sheets.

  David came back shortly after with two mugs of coffee and two custard tarts. I sat up and tapped on my side of the bed for David to join me. My mind still struggled to believe I was lucky enough to have this man to myself, but I wasn’t going to complain.

  “You can bring me coffee in bed any day you want, but we’ll have to talk about your choice of breakfast,” I teased but still devoured my tart in three bites.

  Apart from the walking we’d done on vacation and, of course, all the sex, I couldn’t say I’d been very active. My legs were itching for some exercise, so I suggested we both go to the beach for a run once we finished our coffees.

  I was glad it wasn’t as hot today as it had been in the last few weeks, and there were even a few clouds in the sky. They were due to clear in the afternoon, but it made the run a whole lot more comfortable.

  “Let’s do a sprint to that lifeguard station over there,” David said once we’d jogged a mile to warm up.

  “Loser cooks dinner tonight,” I said, sprinting immediately ahead.

  My muscles were feeling the sudden strain, but I enjoyed the burn before the muscles acclimatized to the push. I got to the lifeguard station first and turned around to brag but found David not even trying to win.

  “You didn’t even try, and it was your idea.”

  I poked him in the ribs.

  “I was going to try, but then your ass, those shorts.” He shrugged. “Suddenly, winning from the back felt like the best idea ever.”

  I laughed. “Besides, you know you’re cooking dinner anyway.”

  We ran for another few miles and then turned back.

  “Hey, let's stop by Pedro’s for a drink,” he said.

  “Okay.”

  Pedro was in his usual good mood and seemed happy to see us again. He asked what we’d been up to, so we told him about the trip.