The Lies You Told

by Emerald O'Brien

  “What you went through, Tina, I’m so sorry,” Grace said. “All because you tried to keep a murderer in prison just to find out it wasn’t him at all. You followed your gut…tried to get justice…”

  “You know all about the sacrifices we make for this job,” Tina said, “to protect people.”

  Madigan nodded. “She’s the best.”

  A knock at the door startled them, and Rhett walked in. “Sorry. I’m just wondering if we can talk?”

  Tina nodded, tears falling down her cheeks as she reached her hand out to him. He took it and wrapped his arms around her, letting go when she groaned.

  “I missed you,” he said, looking down at her and then at Madigan and Grace. “Thank you both—for saving Tina. For being there for Shawna because Lord knows I couldn’t be. Not in the way she needed.”

  “I told you,” Grace said, “we owed her.”

  “Now I owe you.” He looked down at Tina, smiling.

  “We’ll both put in a good word for you,” Tina said, smiling back at Rhett. “I have so much to tell you—to apologize for.”

  Rhett shook his head and kissed her again.

  “We’ll give you some privacy.” Madigan closed Grace’s curtain and stood at the foot of her bed.

  “You think it’ll help? Their words, sticking up for you?” Madigan whispered.

  “Usually, the people in charge of the decision already have their minds made up, and Sarge is on that board. I just hope, somehow, I can keep my job.”

  “And if you can’t go back to Amherst to work?”

  Grace shook her head and winced. “I don’t need Amherst anymore.”

  “No, you don’t,” Madigan said. “But they could sure use you.”

  Grace smirked before taking a sip of her tea. “I need 2 favours.”

  “Okay…”

  “Could you go to my place and bring me the papers on my kitchen table? I need to finish a file for Monday.”

  “I think, given your condition—”

  “I’ve never turned in work late. I’m not starting now. It barely skimmed me. The splintered wood from the tree did just as much damage as the bullet. Maybe more.”

  “It’s a bullet wound,” Madigan hissed. “Even you can’t make that sound fine. You need to rest.”

  “I need to finish my case so I can rest.”

  Madigan shrugged. “Alright. And the second?”

  “When you go in to get the papers, could you feed my cat?”

  “You have a cat? Since when?”

  Grace smiled and lay back against her pillow. “Since I let in a stray from the neighbourhood. He’s a little skittish, so don’t scare him.”

  “I can’t believe you have a cat.” Madigan shook her head. “Any other secrets you’re keeping from me?”

  Grace shook her head. “No more secrets.”

  Chapter Twenty One

  Grace grabbed her file, and Madigan opened the car door for her.

  “It’s just my left arm. I can open the door.”

  “You should really be at home,” Madigan said as Grace got out. “I could have just dropped these off. They’re not even due until tomorrow, right?”

  Grace squinted into the early morning sun at the police department and took a deep breath of fresh air. “I need to finish this myself.”

  “Okay, be quick, and then I’m taking you home. Your cat is waiting to nap with you. Cat nap. Ha… What’s his name, by the way?”

  “He doesn’t have one,” Grace said, walking toward the Tall Pines P.D. “Yet.”

  As she strode into the building with her files clutched by her side, she hoped Mac wasn’t around.

  I don’t want him to think I’m stalking him now that I’ve called and texted him twice and he hasn’t responded.

  “Rhonda.” Grace nodded to the officer at reception.

  “Detective Sheppard, nice to see you.” She stared at her arm in the sling. “Oh wow.”

  “Not as bad as it looks.” She strode down the hallway with her head held high.

  Not as early as usual, but I made the deadline.

  Chief Banning waved her into his office. “Close the door behind you.”

  She set the files down and remained standing as he set his own work aside. “Sheppard, what were you thinking?” He seemed to bite the inside of his lip or tongue, staring up at her.

  “The quality of the work didn’t suffer.”

  “No,” he said with a sigh. “I wouldn’t have believed someone who told me it did. You’re sharp, Sheppard, but you’re living up to your reputation of purposely disregarding orders.”

  “My job is to uphold the law and serve the people of Deerhorn County. I know this. I also know right from wrong, and I’m not willing to ignore people in danger, in need of help. I made a call.”

  He shrugged as if he had nothing left for her.

  “Have a good day,” she said.

  He shook his head. “You’re a great detective. Are you ready to lose it all? Because you just might have done that. Sergeant Colette told me if I wanted to file a complaint against you to the board that he’d back me. I didn’t; I had no reason to, but he’s looking for reasons to have you fired.”

  “I don’t take orders from Sergeant Colette.”

  He stared at her.

  What does he want me to say? It’s the truth.

  She turned to leave, and he spoke again. “They told me about you before you came. Said they were sure I’d have trouble with you. Since you’ve been here—I’d have bet against them. If anyone from Amherst had asked me about you, I’d have said that, despite an adjustment period, you work well with the team here in Tall Pines, and that I trust you to handle the cases. The Grace Sheppard Sergeant Colette told me about isn’t the Grace Sheppard I’ve come to know.”

  “I’m not the Grace Sheppard who came here. I respect you. I even respect Sergeant Colette. I solve cases. I close cases. I do it in a timely fashion, usually ahead of time. I just—I won’t let myself feel like I’m not worthy of my job anymore. I stand behind my decisions—”

  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’ve got a better handle on things right now than it seems. I like you, Sheppard, but I don’t like trouble. I told you from the start.” She opened her mouth to defend herself, but he continued, “You’ve changed. This job changes us, and it never gets easier, but I know you want it. I haven’t seen this kind of fight in you before, Sheppard, but I like it. I hope you bring it to the hearing. Sergeant Colette may not be your direct superior, but he still has power, and he’s very persuasive. He may not have had the authority to order you around, but his word holds weight in Amherst. Make your side of things clear to the board.”

  She nodded before opening the door. “I will.”

  “And, Sheppard, you heal up fast, you hear me? Take it easy for once. We need you back here.”

  As she strode out of the office and down the hall, each step had more purpose than the last.

  It’s going to be a fight, but I’m ready.

  She nodded to Rhonda on the way past her as the front door opened and Tarek walked inside with Mac trailing behind him.

  “Sheppard,” Tarek said, nodding as he walked past. “Hey, what happened to the arm?”

  “Long story.” She stopped as Mac slowed down, his eyes open wide as he noticed her arm.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “What happened?” He frowned, studying her.

  “You haven’t heard?”

  “Banning said he had something to tell me before I heard from the rumor mill. Were you just in with him?”

  She nodded. “I’ll just let him tell you.”

  “Are you alright?” His pitch raised at the end.

  Does he care about me, or does he just feel bad for me, like he would anyone else who was shot?

  “I’ll live.” She tried to laugh, but it came out short and flat.

  He cleared his throat. “Right, well, I should get going.”

  “Mac. I know you probably don’t want
to talk to me right now…”

  “What gave you that idea?” he asked with a small smirk. “I didn’t think I’d be running into you here. I kinda hoped I wouldn’t.”

  “Me too. But now that we’re both here, could you just let me apologize? It’s better this way, in person.”

  “Should we go outside?” he asked, glancing at Rhonda and back to her.

  She walked outside as he followed. “I went about things wrong the other night, which isn’t surprising because I’ve been going about a lot of things wrong since I’ve been here.”

  He pursed his lips and nodded.

  “You weren’t doing anything wrong, but I just have some issues to work out with myself. Things have become a lot clearer the past few days, but it’ll take a while to work through things. You got caught up in those issues, and I apologize for it.”

  He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets. “We’ve all got issues. I overreacted. I was going to call you back, eventually.”

  “Good to know.”

  “Look, I respect your feelings and your ambitions. I don’t want to hold you back.”

  “You’re not holding me back.”

  “Well, I think you’re right.”

  She raised her brows and grinned. “I’m right? I like hearing that just as much as you do.”

  He gave her a half-hearted smile. “I think we should just stay friends too.”

  Her smile faded.

  Just act cool, like it doesn’t faze you.

  Why? To save face? People might be embarrassed of me, but I’m not embarrassed of myself.

  “That’s not what I want,” she said softly. “I never said that.”

  “I think it’s what you were trying to ask for. Friends with benefits, or whatever, until the timing was right for you once you were gone to pursue the feelings we had.”

  Had.

  Her stomach churned.

  “So, I think we should just keep it professional and stay friends.”

  “Is it because of what I said the last time we spoke? Because I don’t even feel that way anymore.”

  He stared at the ground, taking one hand from his pocket and running it through his hair.

  “That’s fine,” she said. “You don’t owe me an explanation. I owe you the truth, though, as someone I still care about. I wasn’t ready to explore the feelings we had together because I wasn’t even ready to explore my own that had nothing to do with you. I’m attracted to you. I have fun with you. I’ve tied my self-worth to my work, and before that, it was other things. I’m my own worst critic; I guess everyone is, but I was standing in my own way of really making a go of it here when I had the chance to.”

  She stopped, but he raised his brow and nodded.

  “I don’t even know what’s going to happen at the hearing tomorrow, but this has been a wake-up call. I can’t let my job be my whole life. I’m more than just a detective. I’m more than my past mistakes. I want us to be more. I have ever since that day in the department when we were going over those videos in the dark, but I couldn’t let myself. I’m still interested, but after everything, I understand if you aren’t, and I don’t want things to be awkward between us. That’s why I hesitated in the first place.”

  “They won’t be,” he said, staring into her eyes. “I promise.”

  This is it.

  It’s over before it had a chance to start, and it’s my fault. I could have had…

  “Hey,” he said, squeezing her good arm. “I’ve got to go. I’m sorry.”

  She turned and watched him walk back to the door, the sinking feeling in her stomach weighing heavy as he disappeared from her sight.

  Grace sat across the board room table from four men. Sarge and her Staff Inspector, Greg Owens, were the only faces she recognized as soon as she entered the room. A woman who introduced herself as the Hearing Officer, Patricia Chalk, sat at the head of the table and poured herself a glass of water.

  “And so, after all that,” she said, “you understand the accusations regarding conduct made against you, yes?”

  Grace nodded as Chalk sipped at her water. “I do.”

  “Then we’d like to give you a chance to make a final statement before we move forward with our decision.” Chalk pushed her shoulders back and stared her down with the other men. “Go ahead.”

  “First, I’d like to say it has been an honor and privilege to work with the Amherst P.D., both as an officer and undercover detective, and with Deerhorn County. I feel I need to make the distinction that I consider myself a servant of the public of those places. I work for the people.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Sarge made a face, but she continued.

  “As for the accusations, I did not follow the request made by the Amherst P.D., specifically from Detective Shelling and Sergeant Colette, to stay away from the investigation. I concede that I did involve myself with his investigation. I cannot, however, apologize for interfering with it because I don’t believe I did. There was no obstruction of justice here, and no one with authority told me to stand down. I offered my support to Shawna Morelli, Officer Tina Morelli’s daughter, when she reached out to me for help. My involvement in the investigation into her mother’s disappearance was not something I had intended, but I knew Officer Morelli, and I felt the need to be of service to her. It began with the support of her daughter, but it transformed into the need to help with the search. Each step of the way, any findings I discovered were shared with the Amherst P.D., specifically Detective Shelling, but as I was not working on the investigation, there were oversights and muddied lines, and at those times, I did what I thought and knew to be right.”

  “May I interject for just a moment?” Staff Inspector Greg Owens asked. “Are you saying, with no uncertainty, that you are not sorry for your involvement in the investigation?”

  “I’m saying that I do not believe my actions led to any obstruction with the investigation, but I do apologize for going against Detective Shelling’s wishes. Although he is not my direct superior, I respect him and his authority. Sergeant Colette, I’d like to formally apologize for going against your wishes in regards to the Morelli Investigation.”

  “Orders,” Sarge said. “They were orders.”

  “Let’s let her finish.” Chalk nodded once to Grace.

  “While Tina Morelli’s disappearance affected me personally, it did not impede on my ability to finish my own work for the Tall Pines P.D. in a timely fashion, or the quality of said work. I did my best to support her daughter, search for her, and ultimately, aid in bringing her home safely. I ask that the board take my statement into consideration when deliberating about my position going forward and that you understand how passionate I am about serving people, protecting them, and creating a safer environment. I take pride in my career; it has been my life since I entered the field just over five years ago, and I will respect your decision.”

  “Is that all you have to say for yourself?” Sarge asked. “You understand the severity of this situation, don’t you? What you stand to lose? Can you not swallow that pride you speak of and admit your mistakes? I’m giving you the chance to save your future, because even if by some miracle, you kept your current job, this will be on your record, what you say here, and would be taken into consideration before any other moves, lateral or otherwise, could be made. But if you choose to stand behind your statement, that’s your decision.”

  He wants me to grovel. He wants me to apologize for disobeying him, as if he didn’t get enough the last time we were in this room together after my time undercover.

  I would have grovelled again.

  This career has been my life, and I want it to be part of me always, but I need more. I deserve more.

  He wants to threaten my future, any chance of advancement. But what if I stayed here in Deerhorn County? It’s slower here sometimes, but I still have the opportunity to help people. To make a difference. Experience will only serve to help me improve.

  And this
is my home.

  I’m finally home.

  “I respectfully stand by my statement.” Grace stood. “Thank you for listening.”

  Chalk stood. “We’ll have our decision back to you in two—”

  “That won’t be necessary,” Sarge said, leaning back in his chair. “It won’t take that long. Wait outside, Detective Sheppard.”

  Chalk shot him a look as Grace excused herself and sat in the hallway outside the room on a wooden bench, cradling her arm in the sling.

  Tina helped me, and I helped her. I regret nothing.

  The emotion of the full circle moment overpowered everything else except the shaking of Grace’s legs as she awaited the board’s decision.

  “Detective Sheppard.” Chalk emerged from the room. The men filed out behind her one by one, walking down the hallway past her. Staff Inspector Greg Owens seemed to nod to her as he passed. Sarge didn’t even look her in the eye as she stood.

  That’s it. Now he can be finished with me for good. Won’t even acknowledge my existence.

  As she came face to face with Chalk, she pushed her shoulders back as far as she could with the pain.

  Whatever comes, I’m ready.

  “The board has moved that beginning immediately, you’ll be suspended without pay.”

  Here it is. There it all goes.

  “I understand.”

  “For two weeks.” Chalk smiled with her eyes. “People within the Amherst, Tall Pines, and Torrance P.D. have put in a good word for you, including Detective Shelling, not to mention Officer Morelli herself, her daughter, and Officer Rhett Carrigan. Detective Shelling even admitted during his discovery that you had not interfered with his case, and on the contrary, you provided pertinent information and interceded when lives were at stake, saving Officer Richards from the Torrance P.D. and Officer Tina Morelli.”

  Grace remained straight-faced, though the words gave her strength and confidence, making it easier to stand up straight through the pain in her arm.

  “After two weeks’ time, you’ll be fully reinstated in your current position as a detective with Deerhorn County, but there will be a secondary board meeting that Police Chief Waverman has requested to determine where you best fit—that is—if you’re interested in a move to a more demanding location, such as Amherst, that includes benefits such as higher pay. But we can get into that later, once you’re back. We’ll be in touch.”