The Lies You Told

by Emerald O'Brien

  “I don’t understand…”

  “Sergeant Colette has made this personal. While we don’t condone disrespecting a superior’s request, as you did his, you were correct. He did not have the authority to order you away from the case, nor the professional reason to. You were forthcoming with Detective Shelling, and as it was his case, we are taking his word for it. You saved lives, and you’re an asset to us. I admire your tenacity and courage. That’s why we’d like you to consider coming back.”

  “Thank you, Officer Chalk, but I have an answer now, if I may?”

  Chalk smiled. “You may.”

  As Grace emerged from the building, squinting into the late afternoon sun, Mac approached her from the parking lot.

  “Mac?”

  He stopped in front of her, wearing the suit she loved on him.

  Could we ever really be friends? Could I ever look at him, the way he looks in that suit, and not wish we were together? That I hadn’t ruined our chance?

  “Did you find out yet, or do you have to wait?” he asked.

  “I’ve been suspended for two weeks without pay,” she said, and he grimaced, “but back after that. I was actually offered a promotion.”

  “Really? How does that work? You walk into a conduct hearing and walk out with a promotion. Only you, Grace.”

  “I guess they were impressed by my conviction.”

  “Or maybe they were embarrassed that a detective who wasn’t even on the case ended up ahead of the one who was, contributing more overall?”

  “Maaaybe,” she said with a smirk.

  “Or maybe it was Banning’s character reference he sent along. Or mine.”

  “Really? You both did that?”

  He nodded. “I told you, I believe in you, Grace. I didn’t when we first met, but you’ve made me a believer.”

  “Well,” she tucked her hair behind her ear, “thank you.”

  “Where’s this promotion?”

  “Not going to congratulate me?” she asked, grinning and squinting into the sun.

  “Congratulations, Grace,” he said in a soft voice, with less enthusiasm. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been with you since that night at your place. Even yesterday, I was upset no one told me what happened to you. I know I don’t have a right to be notified, but when that kind of thing happens, I take it harder than I should, because I want to be there for you—"

  “I didn’t take it. The promotion.”

  “What? You’re joking.”

  She shook her head.

  “Why? Why’d you turn it down?”

  She took a deep breath and turned to the side so she could see him better. “It was the right thing to do.”

  “Come on. Don’t tell me you think you don’t deserve it.”

  She shook her head no. “I deserve it.”

  “Why didn’t you take it?”

  “Because this is where I’m supposed to be.”

  “Does this have anything to do with us? Please don’t tell me you chose to stay here because of me, or—”

  “No. You helped me realize what was going on, but I’ve come to this conclusion on my own, well, with Madigan, for myself. I keep chasing the next best thing. I’m ambitious, and I won’t apologize for it, but I take it to an extreme. I try to please other people far more than I do myself, to the point that it’s unhealthy. I’m a perfectionist, Mac.”

  “You don’t say,” he chided, the concern fading from his expression.

  “So, no, I didn’t decline the offer because of you. Like I said, I chose what is right for me. I choose to serve the people of Deerhorn County. I choose to settle down in Tall Pines, and I finally see it as home.”

  “Good.” He smiled and turned so they stood face to face. “You seem happy. Even with that arm.”

  “I am. I will be. Thanks for writing to them, and thanks for being here.”

  “I know what I said yesterday,” he sighed, “but I want to support you. I still care about you.”

  Grace searched his face for the meaning behind his statement.

  “I told you I overreacted, but I didn’t explain why, and you deserve to know, especially after you finally opened up to me.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ve been left before. You know what happened with my ex-wife. She found someone else, and she blamed me and the job, and she left. I didn’t tell you that after I found out about her affair, there were a few weeks there where we tried to make it work. It was actually only me trying.”

  “I’m sorry, Mac.”

  He shook his head. “She was still seeing the bastard. Anyway, I didn’t know that. I thought we were digging in, doing the work to make us stronger. I told myself, like the therapist said, in time, I’d forgive her. I even agreed to therapy until she was comfortable moving forward on our own. I wanted to be a family for Kenzie, but I’d be lying if that was the only reason. I loved her. I really did, and my pride took a big hit. I wanted to somehow get the chance to show her I was the man for her. Then, after those first few weeks, she left me. She actually took Kenzie and packed up while I was at work, and just never came back. When I went to pick Kenzie up for the first time, there she was with him. I knew she’d chosen him.”

  “I see.”

  “I wanted a chance to see what happened with us, but I guess I still have a fear of being left. When you told me you wanted to work in Amherst, I heard that as you weren’t satisfied with your life here, or me. Has that really changed?”

  “I was never not satisfied with you.” Grace supressed a smile as Mac smirked. “I wasn’t satisfied with myself, and I didn’t think anyone else was either. You were interested, sure, but I thought it would fade. I guess it has in a way.”

  He shook his head. “No. It hasn’t.”

  “But yesterday—”

  “Yesterday, I wasn’t ready to tell you what I just did. I was protecting myself, I guess. I saw the writing on the wall, that you’d be working somewhere else, would probably leave, and I didn’t have any sort of commitment from you, so I thought we were over.”

  “But we’re not?”

  “Can we see where this goes, Grace? We’ll keep work separate and just go slow. Would that work for you?”

  “That sounds good.”

  He leaned over and kissed her, caressing her cheek with his fingers before pulling away. “I’ll call you.”

  She nodded. “I guess I’ve got some free time on my hands now. Or hand, anyway.”

  “I guess you do.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as they walked back out into the parking lot. “What are you going to do with it?”

  “I have to go shopping for some cat things.”

  “The cat? You finally let him in?”

  “I did. I also took him to the vet this morning. No microchip. No owners that I know of. He’s mine.”

  They stopped at her car where Madigan sat behind the wheel, reading a magazine.

  “Does the cat have a name yet?”

  “Well, since that morning when he first came around, when I think of him, I think of your waffles.”

  Mac smirked. “Waffles?”

  “Waffles.”

  “Well,” he leaned in closer, “maybe I could come by tomorrow after work to meet Waffles officially? I could make you some too.”

  She kissed him, and they both parted with permanent smiles as Madigan peered over her magazine with a grin.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “So, two weeks and no work,” Madigan said, raising her voice above the crashing waves.

  Buster hopped up onto the rock, tossing his weight against Madigan as he lay beside them.

  “Yep. I have physio for my arm, so there’s that. I guess Mac and I will be spending some time together too. He asked me out on a proper date.”

  And I’m nervous. Why am I nervous?

  “What are you thinking about right now?” Madigan asked.

  Grace huffed. “When’s the other shoe going to drop?”

  “Stop. Don’t think like that. Remember�
�you’re going with the flow. I mean, you’ve been suspended for two weeks, and I haven’t seen you happier since you’ve been here. You’re taking this really well.”

  “How about you?” Grace asked. “You okay after everything that happened?”

  Madigan nodded. “We found her. She’s going to be okay. That’s what matters most.”

  “You still seem down.”

  “After everything in the woods, would you be surprised to hear I’m most upset about disappointing Roy?”

  “Have you seen him?”

  “Last night. I apologized, and he gave me a big bear hug, which made me feel like things are okay between us… But I’m still jobless.”

  “Now’s the perfect time to get some more work in as a P.I. It’s your calling; you know that, right?”

  “I do… But it’s not paying the bills yet. Thankfully I live below my means, but I guess it’ll just take a while to get into this new career, you know?”

  Grace sighed and pointed to Madigan’s bag. “What did you bring me? You wouldn’t happen to have a bottle of wine, would you?”

  Madigan shook her head. “And you can’t drink with the pain pills.”

  “I’m off them now. I told you, it wasn’t that bad. Cake?”

  “Not this time.” Madigan huffed, taking out the envelope again.

  “Ah.”

  Madigan turned to her. “You seem so happy, and I want to be happy too.”

  “You know it might not be good, right?” Grace asked.

  “I need to know, and I can’t do it alone.”

  Grace wrapped her arm around her, and Buster laid his head on Madigan’s lap underneath the envelope.

  “Thanks, guys,” Madigan muttered as she opened the envelope and took out two pages stapled together and a third loose page. “Ugh, I don’t know if I can read it.

  She closed her eyes, and Grace rubbed her back. “It’s okay. We’ll get through it together, whatever it is.”

  Madigan took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

  “It says here my mom, Julia Morris, signed over her guardianship of me to my grandma, her mom when…I wasn’t even one yet. It explains why I don’t remember her. There’s no name for a father here. It’s just her signature and my grandma’s. Then a witness, I guess a lawyer.”

  “Is there a reason?”

  Madigan read the document line by line and stopped at the word “unfit.”

  “I guess my grandma fought to have guardianship. She cited that my mom was unfit due to her mental health issues.” Madigan read the single sentence over again. “That’s all it says.”

  She turned to the page attached. “This is my birth certificate. My mom’s name is on it but no dad. Madigan Taylor Morris.”

  Grace leaned over. “You have a middle name. I didn’t know that.”

  “Me either.” Madigan sighed and handed her the papers, focusing on the loose one. “This is a letter from Child Protective Services, when I was eleven, during the time between Eli and Evette and the Knoxes. It says my mom filed for custody of me, but she was deemed unfit due to mental health issues, but they aren’t listed. I guess after my grandma passed away, it was bad enough that they wouldn’t consider letting me go back with my mom…”

  “I’m really sorry.”

  “She tried.” Madigan cleared her throat, holding back tears. “I don’t think she ever wanted to give me up. I think she wanted to keep me, but my grandma wouldn’t let her—probably for a good reason. Then she tried to get me back again. She hired a lawyer and everything.”

  “She tried,” Grace echoed. “That counts for something, right?”

  Madigan nodded. “They have her last known address on here—oh.”

  “What is it?”

  Tears ran down Madigan’s hot cheeks and dripped from her chin onto Buster’s head. He stirred, and she wiped the tears, handing the page to Grace.

  “Graham Court... That was right by our elementary school, wasn’t it?”

  Madigan nodded and tried to speak, but she choked on her words. “She was right there.”

  Grace pulled her in close with her good arm as the waves rocked up the shore, and Madigan cried into her arm.

  For some time, or maybe the whole time we were with Eli and Evette, she was within walking distance.

  “Didn’t she know—I needed her,” Madigan cried.

  Every time I was beaten. Whenever Evette forgot to feed us. When we missed school for one of Eli’s schemes.

  “I could have walked past her,” Madigan said once she regained her composure. “We could have seen each other all the time and never known it.” She wiped the tears from her face and sat up straight. “Ugh, is it silly to be upset like this?”

  “No.” Grace rubbed Buster behind the ears. “This guy’s worried for you.”

  “Awww, it’s okay, boy.” Madigan bent down and kissed him on the head. “I’m okay.”

  Grace nodded. “You want to stay at my place for the night?”

  “No. I should be getting back.” Madigan sighed and hopped off the rock with Buster right behind her.

  “Do you think you’ll try to contact her?” Grace asked.

  Madigan shrugged and took Grace’s good hand, helping her off the rock. “I don’t even know right now. It’s a lot to take in, you know?”

  “I’m just a phone call away…or a half-hour walk. Or fifteen minutes if we meet here.”

  Madigan hugged Grace, and as they parted, Buster bounded across the shoreline, nipping at the waves as the spray cascaded over him. The ocean breeze refreshed her, and as she followed the little lights along the coast home, she considered her new discovery.

  Julia Morris is out there, somewhere.

  Maybe she’s been trying to find me—her daughter—Madigan Taylor Morris.

  No. Madigan Knox.

  If I find her, that’s who she’ll be meeting. Sister of Drew Knox, the best man I’ve ever known, and Grace Sheppard, the woman who has always stuck by me.

  Maybe my next case could be my own.

  As they climbed the small foothill, the glow of her solar lights surrounding the trailer relaxed her.

  It’s not much, but it’s home.

  “We’re home, boy,” she said, but Buster took off over the hill and toward the trailer where Jack sat on one of the plastic lawn chairs, reaching out to him.

  “Hey, Buster,” he called.

  Buster jumped up on him, and Jack rubbed his chest and head. As Madigan approached, he stood, and Buster tried to regain his attention, pacing in front of him, wagging his tail.

  “Hey,” he called to her.

  “Jack, this isn’t a good time.”

  He pressed his lips together and nodded. “Alright, but I’d like to talk to you.”

  “Okay, maybe give me a call—”

  “No, actually, this can’t wait.”

  “Jack, I’m really tired.”

  “Yeah? Me too. I invited you to the engagement party, and then when we didn’t hear from you, Alee came to Roy’s to find you and invited you personally. You said you’d come, and you didn’t. Then I went to Roy’s, and turns out, you don’t work there anymore. So, now I’m here and…I want to know why? Why did you say you’d come when you didn’t?”

  “I’m sorry, Jack. I was busy. I’ve had a lot going on—”

  “So have I. Things are busy at work; I’m house-hunting with Alee, and oh yeah, I’m engaged now, and trying to help plan a wedding. You said you’d come. You never go back on your word.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know what else to say.”

  “Okay, how about this one? Why did you hesitate in the first place? When I asked, it was like you didn’t want to come from the start. Did something happen that I don’t know about? I thought we were closer than that.”

  She cocked her head to the side. “Really?”

  “Yeah, I’d say. I’m the one you called when you broke up with your boyfriend to bring you and Buster to Grace’s. I’m the one you asked to look after B
uster when you went away to South Bend this past winter. I’m not bringing this up for a thank you. I’m the one you call when you need help, and that’s the way I like it. The way it should be.”

  “Why? Why do you like it?”

  “Because then we get to spend time together. Catch up. Or I just get to know you’re okay.”

  “You can find that out from a phone call to hang out, but you don’t do that. You’re fulfilling a well-meaning, unspoken promise to look after me since Drew passed away. I’m not some responsibility, Jack.”

  “You’re not some burden. Come on, what’s going on? Why are you being like this?”

  “You know why.”

  “No. I promise you, I don’t. What did I do?”

  “Ha,” Madigan huffed and shook her head. “Alright, you wanna go there? After Drew passed away, I tried to kiss you, and you rejected me. That’s what you did. You didn’t have feelings for me like that, but I did for you. They never really went away after that, but I’ve been seeing you more this past year, and I hate how I feel, but I can’t help it. I didn’t go to your party because it’s inappropriate, okay? Just like this confession is, but you asked, and I’m done pretending.”

  Jack covered his mouth with his hand and rubbed at his smooth chin, staring at the ground.

  “Didn’t make things better, did it? Now you know, and I have to go.” She strode past him toward the trailer door.

  “Madigan.” She turned around as he turned to face her. “I’m sorry for what happened at Drew’s funeral. I should have been more sensitive, and I’ve felt terrible about it ever since, but I figured it was better not to bring it up—to try to forget about it. I should have apologized.”

  “No, you were right to try to forget it. I was mortified. I kissed you at the most inappropriate time and made a fool of myself.”

  He shook his head. “We were both hurting, looking for support.”

  “I had a crush on you since about the time I got to the Knoxes, Jack. It was more than pain and support. I mistook your kindness for reciprocation of the feelings I had for you.”