by Jae
“Um…” They looked at each other, then back at Leo’s mom, and ducked their heads like two teenagers who’d been caught smoking weed. “Uh, just catching a bit of fresh air before bed,” Leo stammered out.
Her mother narrowed her eyes at them.
Before she could ask another question, Leo beat her to it, “What are you doing up?”
“I heard some noise up on the roof and wanted to check it out. Now that your father…that he can no longer do it, I’m the weird-noises checker in the family.” She lifted the flashlight in her hand with a brave smile.
“Um, I don’t think you have to do that, Mom. It was probably just a squirrel or something.”
“A squirrel?” Her mother looked at her as if she doubted her sanity.
“Oh, yeah,” Holly said. “They can make a lot of noise, especially if there’s more than one.”
Leo’s mother still looked doubtful, but she turned and stepped back inside. When they had returned the key to the flowerpot and followed her in, she closed the door and put the flashlight back onto the hall table. “Good night, you two. Don’t stay up too long.”
“We won’t,” Leo said. “Night.”
As her mother climbed the stairs to the master bedroom, her quiet mutter drifted back to them. “That must have been an awfully big squirrel.”
Leo pressed a hand to her mouth so she wouldn’t burst out laughing.
The bedroom door clicked shut upstairs.
“Squirrel, huh?” The dimples in Holly’s cheeks made an appearance as she gave her an affectionate smile.
Leo shrugged. “It was the first thing that came to mind. Like I said, I never got caught before, so I’m not used to having to make up excuses.”
“Then maybe our second date should be someplace less adventurous,” Holly said.
“So we’re doing this?” Leo asked, searching her face. “Dating?”
Holly’s smile gave way to a serious expression. “If I think about it tomorrow morning, in broad daylight, I’ll probably think this,” she waved her hand back and forth between them, “is a really bad idea.”
“Then let’s not do it—overthink it, I mean.” She tried to avoid it too. For once, she would just go with her gut feeling. “Let’s take it one day at a time.”
Holly blew out a breath. “All right.”
Leo offered her arm. “Come on. I’ll walk you home.” She nodded in the direction of the guest room.
Another smile chased away the conflicted expression on Holly’s face. She lightly settled her hand on Leo’s arm, and they climbed the stairs, both of them skipping the creaking steps. In front of Holly’s bedroom, they paused and stood facing each other.
With every other date, Leo would have ended the evening with a kiss, but Holly wasn’t like every other woman—and even though Leo couldn’t wait to kiss her again, she decided that was a good thing. “Good night. Sleep well.”
“Good night.” Holly put her hand on the doorknob but then turned back around. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“For showing me your secret spot.”
Leo’s first instinct was to say, Stick with me, and I’ll show you so much more. But flashing her sexy pop-star grin and hiding behind lines like that wasn’t going to cut it with Holly. “I’m glad I did.”
“Me too.” Holly’s hand lingered on Leo’s arm for another moment, then she opened the door and, with one last soft smile, was gone.
Alone, Leo stood in the hall and stared at the closed door. After a while, she gave herself a mental kick and went to her own room. She sank onto the bed but knew she wouldn’t get any sleep tonight. Not after that kiss and their conversation.
Was she really doing this? Dating an asexual woman? Hell, dating a woman from Fair Oaks! It was completely crazy. She scrubbed her palms over her face. One day at a time. No overthinking, remember?
She dangled one hand out of bed and fished for her laptop, which she’d put on the floor earlier. Time for some more research into the complex topic of asexuality.
Chapter 13
Holly entered the kitchen with some trepidation. Had she really kissed Leo last night—and even agreed to date her? What the hell were you thinking? You know this won’t end well.
But try as she might, she couldn’t regret it too much. That hour up on the roof had been magical. For once, she had been able to talk about the past without hurting or feeling inadequate. Leo had been so fierce when she had defended her—and so gentle when she’d kissed her. She hadn’t spoiled it by trying for more. There had been no hint of demand, as if Leo had enjoyed the kiss for what it was instead of seeing it as just an appetizer.
Thinking about it made her want to kiss Leo again, and that had rarely happened to her in the past.
“Morning, Holly,” Sharon said from the stove. “Something wrong with your mouth?”
“Huh?”
“You keep touching it.”
Holly stared at her traitorous fingers, which were indeed resting on her lips. She snatched her hand away. “Um, no, just some…uh, toothpaste.” God, she was as bad a liar as Leo with her squirrel excuse.
Speaking of Leo… She looked around.
She had gotten Gil dressed earlier, and now he was waiting for breakfast at the table, but Leo was nowhere to be seen.
“Where’s Leo?” she asked before she could stop herself.
Sharon turned off the stove with a flick of her wrist and carried the stack of pancakes to the table. They both sat. “She’s still sleeping.”
“Want me to go up and wake her?” At least it would give them a moment alone, even though Holly wasn’t sure what she would say to Leo.
“Oh no. Let her sleep. I’ll make her some fresh pancakes later. When I peeked in on her a few minutes ago, she was dead to the world.” Sharon poured them all coffee and slid Holly’s mug across the table toward her. “That squirrel on the roof probably kept her up all night.”
The first sip of coffee went down the wrong pipe. Holly started coughing and gasping for breath.
Gil put his fork down and thumped her on the back with his good hand. “Okay?”
“Yeah,” Holly rasped out. “I’m fine. Thanks.”
He patted her back again, just for good measure, before returning to his food.
Holly inhaled and exhaled deeply and took a more careful sip of coffee, hoping no one would mention squirrels again.
By the time breakfast was done and they had cleared the table, Leo still hadn’t made an appearance downstairs. Holly didn’t know if she should be disappointed or grateful. Maybe it was better this way. She needed time to think—time away from Leo and the house. Thankfully, she had the rest of the day off, so she said goodbye to Gil and Sharon and headed out.
But instead of driving home, she ended up in front of her mother’s practice for her daily cuddle fix. That, of course, made her think of cuddling up to Leo behind the chimney last night.
Just as she had settled down next to the whelping box, covered from hip to toe in puppies and kittens, the door opened and her mother stepped in.
“Hey, sweetie.” She pressed a kiss to Holly’s head and picked up one of the puppies. “Susan just told me you came in. What are you doing here? I thought you had the night shift.”
“I did.”
“Then why aren’t you home in bed?”
Holly rubbed her cheek against the orange tabby’s soft fur. “Gil had a good night. I only had to get up twice, so I was able to get some sleep.” Or she would have, if she hadn’t lain awake, reliving that wonderful kiss and each word they had exchanged up on the roof and worrying about where it might lead—and where it wouldn’t.
Just because Leo was willing to go without sex for the time being didn’t mean she was in it for the long haul. Quite the opposite. She had never made a secret of the fact that she planned to go
back to New York. That was why she could so easily agree to dating without sex. It was easy to go without for a while, since Leo knew she would soon return to her more-than-willing groupies.
Clearly, there was no happy ending in store for them, and she would only end up getting hurt if she let herself believe otherwise.
Her mother watched her with a concerned gaze. “You know, you could get one for yourself.”
Holly blinked up at her. “A happy ending?”
“Excuse me?”
Heat rose up her neck, and she buried her face deeper into the kitten’s fur, hoping to hide her blush. “Um, nothing. I was just thinking of…um, fairy tales.”
Laugh lines fanned around her mother’s eyes and mouth. “I was talking about a kitten or a puppy—although I’m all for you getting a happy ending too.”
Holly shook her head. “I’m gone much of the time, so I don’t think that would be fair to the little guy.”
“Or girl,” her mother added, repeating what Holly had always said when her mother urged her to date.
They smiled at each other.
“Or girl,” she repeated, suppressing a sigh. Wasn’t it ironic? Now that her mother had finally accepted that her daughter might end up with a woman, Holly had realized that it wasn’t going to happen, at least not long-term, and certainly not with Leo.
Two days later, Leo set out on a mission. She wanted to take Holly out on a date, but if she took her to a restaurant, they would be interrupted by people asking for autographs. Plus they wouldn’t even make it to the main course before the entire town knew about their date. By now, the Fair Oaks rumor mill was probably already buzzing because they had gotten burgers together last week.
Not that she was ashamed of going out with Holly, but for now, she wanted it to be just the two of them. A picnic at the creek seemed perfect for that.
After putting everything she needed into the shopping cart, she steered it around the corner toward the cash register. She had hoped that Jenny wouldn’t be working, but no such luck.
Her old classmate was manning the register. She waved cheerfully. “Hi, Leo.”
“Hi, Jenny.” Leo focused on unloading her groceries, hoping to escape small talk.
“We missed you the last two Saturdays,” Jenny said. “You really should hang out with the gang again.”
“Um, yeah, I was…busy.” Spending time with Holly.
“I totally get it. When my mom got sick, I barely had time to go out too. How are your folks doing?”
“Fine, considering,” Leo said.
“Your dad seemed to be doing a little better when I dropped by for a visit last week.”
Leo looked up. Jenny had visited him lately? It must have been while Leo had been out on a run or getting scones with Holly.
Oh, scones. She made a mental note to get some for the picnic too.
“I bet he’s glad you’re home,” Jenny said.
Leo gave a noncommittal hum.
Jenny reached for the first item, searched for the bar code, and scanned it painfully slowly.
Great. Leo resisted the urge to tap her foot. By the time Jenny had scanned all the goods, there would be mold growing on them.
“Are you getting settled back in at home?” Jenny asked as she reached for item number two, a bottle of red wine.
“Um, there’s not much settling in to do. I’m only staying for a few weeks, remember?”
Jenny scanned the wine, nodded down at the rest of the groceries, and chuckled. “Well, this should hold you until then.”
Leo regarded her pile of food. Admittedly, it could feed an entire army, not just two people. Maybe she had overdone it a little, but she had wanted to make sure she bought everything Holly might like. “It’s, um, for a picnic.”
“Oh, that’s such a nice idea!” Jenny clapped her hands. “The weather is perfect for it too.”
Leo hoped Holly would think so too.
“You forgot the cheese, though,” Jenny said.
“Um, excuse me?”
Jenny waved at the bag of grapes she was scanning. “You’ve got grapes, but no cheese. They go well together.”
Damn, she was right. “Can I run back and get some?”
“Sure, I’ll scan the rest in the meantime.”
Leaving the shopping cart behind, Leo turned on her heel and jogged toward the aisle with the dairy products.
“Get the smoked Gouda,” Jenny’s voice trailed after her. “Holly likes that one.”
Leo slid to a stop in front of the dairy case. Had Jenny just said…? She found the smoked Gouda, grabbed a Camembert and some tiny mozzarella balls too, just in case, and slowly made her way back to the register. “Who says I’m sharing this with Holly?”
“Well,” Jenny shrugged, “you two are the only, um, lesbians in town, so…”
Yeah, if you don’t count Ash…and maybe a few others who’re too scared to come out.
“And you did buy the smoked Gouda,” Jenny finished with a smile that said she was impressed with her own detective skills. “Are the two of you…you know…dating?”
What was she supposed to say now? Leo had always tried to keep her private life out of the public eye. She certainly wasn’t about to reveal her brand-new dating relationship to the town gossip queen. She and Holly hadn’t talked about telling people. Hell, it was all so new and fragile that they could barely cope with it when it was just the two of them.
But after what Ash had done to Holly, Leo didn’t want to outright deny being involved with her either. Holly deserved better than that.
“That’s between Holly and me,” she finally said.
Jenny squealed. “I’m so happy for you guys!”
Leo blinked. “Hey, I didn’t say we’re dating, and I certainly didn’t say we’re ready to print wedding invitations, so cut out that happy dance!” She looked around to see if they were attracting attention, but for now, they seemed to be alone in the store.
“Ah, come on, Leo. You know you can tell me. I’m not the enemy here.”
That much was true. Jenny had always seemed like the quintessential small-town girl to her. The horizon of her experience ended at the city limits. But she didn’t seem upset at the thought of Holly and her dating. In fact, she seemed pleased, and Leo hadn’t expected that.
She rubbed her neck. “I know. Don’t take it personally, but if you’re in the limelight all the time, you learn to keep your private life private.”
“Don’t worry.” Jenny waved a package of cookies. “I won’t say a word. I’m just glad Holly has finally found someone.”
Leo swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat. Not knowing what to say, she just watched as Jenny scanned the rest of her items.
For once, she was glad when another customer came up behind her and asked for an autograph and a picture.
When he was busy checking out the photo Jenny had snapped on his cell phone, she quickly put her bagged groceries into the cart and pushed them to the door.
“Enjoy your picnic!” Jenny called after her.
“Uh, thanks.” Leo stumbled to her rental car and shook her head to clear it. What a surreal experience. She felt as if she’d stepped into the Twilight Zone.
Maybe Holly had been right. Maybe people in this town could change—at least some of them. Too bad her father wasn’t among them.
Leo found her parents in the living room, where her mother was helping her father put together a puzzle. It looked as if it was going to be a violin with a rose resting across the strings.
Every time she saw her father like this, helpless and wheelchair-bound, she had to look away. Rough emotions clutched at her insides, but she didn’t want to focus on them long enough to identify what exactly she was feeling. “Mom? Do you mind if I take over your kitchen for a while?”
Her mother looke
d up with wide eyes. “You want to cook?”
“Hey, I made breakfast several times since I’ve been back. I’m not that bad of a cook. Besides, I just want to prepare some…uh, snacks.”
“Of course. Go ahead and let me know if you need any help.”
“I can manage, thanks.” At least she hoped so. Her area of expertise was the concert stage, not the kitchen, but she was determined to give it her best.
An hour later, as Leo was putting a lid on the bowl of potato salad, her mother peeked into the kitchen, looking as if she expected to find a battlefield.
But Leo had cleaned up as she went, not wanting to create even more work for her already-stressed mother.
“Oh. That looks wonderful.” Her mother entered the kitchen and watched Leo pierce mozzarella balls and cherry tomatoes onto skewers. “Is this…um, for you and…and Holly?”
Wow. Leo put the skewers aside and turned. Was the Fair Oaks rumor mill working so quickly, or had her mother suspected all along? Or maybe she thought it was just a picnic between friends. Her mother’s powers of denial had always been impressive. If she didn’t want to deal with something, she ignored it so completely that it ceased to exist.
“Yes,” Leo said carefully.
“That’s…nice,” her mother said, just as carefully.
This was one thing that definitely hadn’t changed. They were still tiptoeing around each other and the topic of Leo’s sexual orientation. She heaved a sigh.
Her mother cleared her throat but then didn’t say anything. Instead, she turned toward the counter, away from Leo, took a cherry tomato, and slid it on another skewer, followed by a mozzarella ball.
So the conversation was over, and the topic would be ignored—again. Leo wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or angry. She popped a tomato into her mouth and chewed forcefully. “You don’t need to help, you know?”
“I don’t mind. We barely spend any time together, so this,” her mother waved her hand in a circle that included Leo, herself, and the kitchen, “is nice.”
It was true, Leo had to admit, if only to herself. Since she’d been back, she had spent more time with Holly than with her parents. Maybe she should make more of an effort to patch up her relationship with them, but being with Holly was so much easier. Despite their differences, they seemed to understand each other in a way that she could never hope to achieve with her parents.