The Status Civilization

by Robert Sheckley

  Chapter Six

  "Evil," the priest said, after he had settled comfortably into Barrent'sbest chair, "is that force within us which inspires men to acts ofstrength and endurance. The worship of Evil is essentially the worshipof oneself, and therefore the only true worship. The self which oneworships is the ideal social being; the man content in his niche insociety, yet ready to grasp any opportunity for advancement; the man whomeets death with dignity, who kills without the demeaning vice of pity.Evil is cruel, since it is a true reflection of the uncaring andinsensate universe. Evil is eternal and unchanging, although it comes tous in the many forms of protean life."

  "Would you care for a little wine, Uncle?" Barrent asked.

  "Thank you, that's very thoughtful," Uncle Ingemar said. "How isbusiness?"

  "Fair. A little slow this week."

  "People don't take the same interest in poisoning," the priest said,moodily sipping his drink. "Not like when I was a boy, newly unfrockedand shipped out from Earth. However. I was speaking to you about Evil."

  "Yes, Uncle."

  "We worship Evil," Uncle Ingemar said, "in the incarnate form of TheBlack One, that horned and horrid specter of our days and nights. In TheBlack One we find the seven cardinal sins, the forty felonies, and thehundred and one misdemeanors. There is no crime that The Black One hasnot performed--faultlessly, as befits his nature. Therefore we imperfectbeings model ourselves upon his perfections. And sometimes, The BlackOne rewards us by appearing before us in the awful beauty of his fieryflesh. Yes, Nephew, I have actually been privileged to see him. Twoyears ago he appeared at the conclusion of the Games, and he alsoappeared the year before that."

  The priest brooded for a moment over the divine appearance. Then hesaid, "Since we recognize in the State man's highest potential for Evil,we also worship the State as a suprahuman, though less than divine,creation."

  Barrent nodded. He was having a difficult time staying awake. UncleIngemar's low, monotonous voice lecturing about so commonplace a thingas Evil had a soporific effect on him. He struggled to keep his eyesopen.

  "One might well ask," Uncle Ingemar droned on, "if Evil is the highestattainment of the nature of man, why then did The Black One allow anyGood to exist in the universe? The problem of Good has bothered theunenlightened for ages. I will now answer it for you."

  "Yes, Uncle?" Barrent said, surreptitiously pinching himself on theinside of the thigh in an effort to stay awake.

  "But first," Uncle Ingemar said, "let us define our terms. Let usexamine the nature of Good. Let us boldly and fearlessly stare our greatopponent in the face and discover the true lineaments of his features."

  "Yes," Barrent said, wondering if he should open a window. His eyes feltincredibly heavy. He rubbed them hard and tried to pay attention.

  "Good is a state of illusion," said Uncle Ingemar in his even,monotonous voice, "which ascribes to man the nonexistent attributes ofaltruism, humility, and piety. How can we recognize Good as being anillusion? Because there is only man and The Black One in the universe,and to worship The Black One is to worship the ultimate expression ofoneself. Thus, since we have proven Good to be an illusion, wenecessarily recognize its attributes as nonexistent. Understood?"

  Barrent didn't answer.

  "Do you understand?" the priest asked more sharply.

  "Eh?" Barrent said. He had been dozing with his eyes open. He forcedhimself awake and managed to say, "Yes, Uncle, I understand."

  "Excellent. Understanding that, we ask, why did The Black One allow eventhe illusion of Good to exist in an Evil universe? And the answer isfound in the Law of Necessary Opposites; for Evil could not berecognized as such without something to contrast it with. The bestcontrast is an opposite. And the opposite of Evil is Good." The priestsmiled triumphantly. "It's so simple and clear-cut, isn't it?"

  "It certainly is, Uncle," Barrent said. "Would you like a little morewine?"

  "Just the tiniest drop," the priest said.

  He talked to Barrent for another ten minutes about the natural andcharming Evil inherent in the beasts of the field and forest, andcounseled Barrent to pattern his behavior on those simple-mindedcreatures. At last he rose to leave.

  "I'm very glad we could have this little chat," the priest said, warmlyshaking Barrent's hand. "Can I count on your appearance at our Mondaynight services?"

  "Services?"

  "Of course," Uncle Ingemar said. "Every Monday night--at midnight--wehold Black Mass at the Wee Coven on Kirkwood Drive. After services, theLadies Auxiliary usually puts out a snack, and we have community dancingand choir singing. It's all very jolly." He smiled broadly. "You see,the worship of evil _can_ be fun."

  "I'm sure it can," Barrent said. "I'll be there, Uncle."

  He showed the priest to the door. After locking up, he thought carefullyabout what Uncle Ingemar had said. No doubt about it, attendance atservices was necessary. Compulsory, in fact. He just hoped that theBlack Mass wouldn't be as infernally dull as Ingemar's exposition ofEvil.

  That was Friday. Barrent was kept busy over the next two days. Hereceived a shipment of homeopathic herbs and roots from his agent in theBloodpit district. It took the better part of a day to sort and classifythem, and another day to store them in the proper jars.

  On Monday, returning to his shop after lunch, Barrent thought he sawthe girl. He hurried after her, but lost her in the crowd.

  When he got back to his store, Barrent found that a letter had beenslipped under his door. It was an invitation from his neighborhood DreamShop. The letter read:

  Dear Citizen, We take this opportunity of welcoming you into the neighborhood and extending to you the services of what we believe to be the finest Dream on Omega.

  All manner and type of dreams are available to you--and at a surprisingly low cost. We specialize in memory-resurrecting dreams of Earth. You can be assured that your neighborhood Dream Shop offers you only the finest in vicarious living.

  As a Free Citizen, you will surely wish to avail yourself of these services. May we hope that you do so within the week?

  The Proprietors.

  Barrent put down the letter. He had no idea what a Dream Shop was, orhow the dreams were produced. He would have to find out. Even though theinvitation was graciously worded, it had a peremptory tone to it. Past adoubt, a visit to a Dream Shop was one of the obligations of a FreeCitizen.

  But of course, an obligation could be a pleasure, too. The Dream Shopsounded interesting. And a genuine memory-resurrection dream of Earthwould be worth almost any price the proprietors wished to ask.

  But that would have to wait. Tonight was Black Mass, and his attendancethere was definitely required.

  Barrent left his store at eleven o'clock in the evening. He wanted timefor a stroll around Tetrahyde before going to the service, which beganat midnight.

  He started his walk with a definite sense of well-being. And yet,because of the irrational and unexpecting nature of Omega, he almostdied before reaching the Wee Coven on Kirkwood Drive.