Sacred Skin

by Terra Sinclair

  “Forget I said that,” he said, grabbing a taco. “Just enjoy your food. Ignore the huge idiot sitting across from you.”

  I never would have taken Brooks to be the self-conscious type. That was my job. He seemed so cool and confident like he wouldn’t have cared if he messed up or said the wrong thing. It was me who was always the tongue-tied mess.

  “No, don’t be sorry. That was honestly the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” I told him. “And I feel the same way. Just like you say, it’s insane but I’m totally drawn to you too.”

  The tension left Brooks’ body and once again. I reached for a taco and took a huge bite, sauce dripping down my chin. Brooks laughed and leaned over to wipe the mess away with a napkin. It was not the kind of gesture a straight dude did to his friend in public. I looked around the restaurant but no one had seen it.

  “Damn, you were right. This place really does have amazing food,” I said as I finished my mouthful of the most delectable thing that might have ever graced my lips.

  “Told ya,” Brooks said, winking at me.

  10 Brooks

  Over dinner, I’d mentioned to Leo that I dabbled in painting. As soon as I opened my mouth, I knew it was a mistake. When I said I dabbled, I didn’t mean I was in any way good at it. Leo had insisted on coming back to Sacred Skin to see some of my pieces anyway since it was just back down the road from the restaurant. I wasn’t going to protest. The fact Leo wasn’t sick of me yet was a testament to how amazing he really was. Dinner had gone perfect despite my stupid blunder. Confessing your intense feelings to a guy you’d known all of a month was probably not the best way to take things slow. But the food had been great, the margaritas had kept flowing and the conversation had been almost flawless. It was safe to say that ending the date right then and there would have been a tragedy.

  I unlocked the door to the shop and Leo followed me inside. He normally kept to himself when he was at Sacred Skin. He’d sit in the waiting area then walk to my work area in such a way that it looked like he was scared he might break something by only glancing at it. This time though, Leo took his time examining all the art that hung from the walls. It was mostly flash but there were paintings and drawings as well. There were photos of the work Frankie and I were most proud of proudly displayed at the shop front. It was meant to entice customers. Leo walked into the place with an interest in every little detail, asking me who had done which piece of art out the almost hundreds on display. They were mostly by various artists around the country. I’d travelled a lot when I was younger doing guest spots in different tattoo shops or working conventions. Now I’d opened up Sacred Skin, I was hoping I could host artists here and give back to all the amazing people I’d met along the road who had taught me so much.

  “So, where are yours?” Leo asked, walking around to meet me by my working station. “I’m dying to see your paintings.”

  Leo had become comfortable around me. I could tell by his body language. It was little things, like the way his body was relaxed. I’d realized now that I knew him better that he had been so wound up with tension the first few times I’d met him. It wasn’t unlike myself. I was used to putting on this whole facade. The tough-talking no-nonsense tattoo artist. I’d built my body up to be muscular and foreboding. To let people know I wasn’t anyone to mess with. That wasn’t me though. The few people that really knew me were aware of that. I was hoping Leo did too. The last thing I wanted was to present some false version of myself to him.

  “Let me show you,” I told him, opening a door to a small kitchenette and lounge area we used as our break room. It was the only place I felt brave enough to put my pieces up. They weren’t like my tattoo work at all. My paintings were more abstract. More dark and gritty. They might have even given away something about me.

  “Wow,” Leo said. “This wasn’t what I was expecting,” he stood in front of a large dark canvas. It was an abstract piece of an astronaut in space, except he was naked and only had his helmet on.

  “Yeah, I know they aren’t everyone’s thing,” I laughed. Why was I so nervous all of a sudden? I was used to criticism of my work, plenty of people had mocked my tattoos online. Trolls had filled my comment sections with discouraging words. I’d never once cared enough to be discouraged. This felt different though. My paintings were personal. Work I did only for myself. That’s why I didn’t have them on the shop walls.

  “No, no. They’re…” Leo turned his body to mine and looked up at me. “They’re incredible, Brooks. Really. I was expecting more of the work you do with your tattoos but these are something else. There’s so much depth. They really make you think.”

  Leo’s body was close enough to mine that if I wanted, I could reach out and pull him against me. And I did want it. I wanted to wrap my arms around his slender body and hold him. I wanted to inhale him. To stroke his blond hair, wrap my fingers around the strands. To cup his perfect face in my hands. I had known this guy all of 5 minutes and I was feeling things I’d never felt in my twenty-eight years on this earth. Is this what love was? The mysterious feeling I wasn’t sure existed. It was lust at least, I knew that much.

  “Thank you,” I told him, talking a step closer to Leo. He didn’t look scared. Didn’t look like he wanted any distance. “That kiss the other day,” I started. “I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.” My voice went low and gravelly as I failed to hide the arousal in it.

  “Me either,” Leo said in barely a whisper of a voice. He was looking up at me with dreamy eyes, plumping his lips to let me know he wanted me again.

  My hands slid up to cup his face, thumbs swiping his golden hair behind his ears. I studied his face, noticing the constellation of freckles that kissed his nose and cheeks and the thickness and length of his blond lashes. He really was exquisite.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I whispered, moving my mouth closer to his.

  Before I had even touched Leo’s lips, he let out this small desperate whimper. My cock stirred at the sound and in an instant I pressed my mouth against his. Leo’s arms were on my back, pulling me into him so our bodies were flush against each other. I pushed into him further, our mouths opening to let us explore each other. He tasted like the sweet and sour lime pie we’d just eaten for dessert. My cock strained against my jeans, blood pumping uncontrollably into its length. I was so hard, I thought the denim might burst open. I moved Leo’s body backward until he was against the wall. He groaned into my mouth as my hands travelled down his body and squeezed the globes of his ass. He was surprisingly juicy down there, my hands cupping generous mountains of flesh through his jeans. I didn’t know where things were going, just that I wanted them to go somewhere. Fast.

  “Fuck Brooks,” Leo said the second I pulled away. He was out of breath. Panting and shaking. Before I could second guess what we were doing, Leo was driving me back with his arms on mine. It was impressive given our size difference. He pushed me to the back of the room where there was a small two-seat sofa and I fell back onto it. Leo jumped on top of me, his legs straddling either side. His mouth crashed into mine again and my hands found their way back to his ass. I pulled him into me. Into my throbbing hard crotch. I was surprised to feel his matched mine. His tight jeans let me feel the outline of his cock as it rubbed against my own. We might have been clothed but it was as though I could feel everything. Leo moved on top of me, the friction of our jeans driving me wild. Leo’s mouth pulled away from me and it was my turn to groan at its absence.

  “Wanna suck you,” Leo whispered in my ear before sucking my earlobe into his mouth and nibbling on it.

  My whole body shook with pleasure. Holy Christ. “Please,” was all I managed to get out.

  In an instant, Leo was on his knees in front of me, pushing my legs apart. His hands worked at my belt buckle and the zipper of my jeans until he was pulling out my cock and holding it in his hand. His eyes went wide as he looked at its size. I was big, both in length and thickness. It could be a problem sometimes.


  “Holy hell,” Leo said, before licking the tip. I was already oozing pre-cum and Leo swiped it up with his tongue, his eyes meeting mine in this seductive way.

  I closed my eyes only for a fraction of a second before looking back at Leo. I was used to closing my eyes when I was being pleasured, desperate to concentrate on the feeling and get myself off. Scared if I looked, I might mess up. Scared I’d start to overthink things and lose my erection. This was so different though. I wanted to watch Leo. Wanted to see his mouth gliding up and down my length. Beautifully stretched and seductive. His eyes focusing on me like this is what he was born to do.

  “Fuck, Leo,” I groaned. “You’re so fucking good at that.”

  My praise only seemed to encourage him more because he moved down my cock even further till I could feel it hit the back of his throat. His gag reflex must have been amazing because he didn’t flinch once. I shuddered. My hand moved down to his head, stroking his hair tenderly. I couldn’t believe this was really happening. I was in the break room at work being sucked off by another guy. If I had ever questioned my sexuality before, it was crystal clear right now that dudes did it for me. I knew I wasn’t going to last long so I let Leo know.

  “Jesus. I’m almost there,” I told him, lifting up my shirt so I had somewhere to release. Leo didn’t move his mouth though. He increased the speed of his rhythm until I was a shuddering, shaking mess beneath him. I was on the brink of my orgasm and it would only take a single movement to send me over the edge. “I’m - fuck - I’m coming.”

  I expected Leo to pull away but he kept his mouth there as I spilled into him for what felt like the longest time. I shook and swore and my whole body felt tingly and floaty as I rode out the waves of my orgasm. Leo swallowed my load and came up on the sofa to sit beside me. Yep, I was 100% into dudes.

  “Come here,” I said, wrapping my arm around him and pulling him into the crook of my body. Leo looked up at me and smiled. I kissed his forehead and my fingers found their way to his hair, stroking the blond mess. “That was amazing.”

  “I’m glad you liked it,” Leo said, sinking into my body. It was a moment I never wanted to end.

  11 Leo

  “Great work, Daphne!” I said, standing behind the little old women who was currently doing a still life painting of a bowl of fruit. “You too, Edna. Some amazing stuff coming out of this class today.” I grinned as I made my way through the small art class of seniors. It was my usual Thursday morning group and I adored each and every one of the sweet old folks that I taught.

  “You’re in an awfully good mood this morning, Leo,” Betty called out to me. I turned to find her grinning as she held her paintbrush in hand, her attention away from her canvas and fully focused on me. “Did ya get lucky?”

  I let out a loud cackle, almost in disbelief of what she was asking me. “Betty! You are bad!” I teased her. I could feel a flush creep to my cheeks. The last thing I wanted to do was tell a group of seniors about my sex life.

  “Look at him. He’s blushing,” Daphne teased. I wanted to hang my head in shame that a bunch of old ladies were calling me out.

  “I am not!” I told them. “But if you really need to know, I have met someone.” That was all they were going to get out of me. Except I knew that wasn’t true. They were a group of gossips and I wasn’t going to be off the hook that easy.

  “Is he handsome?” Garry, a Vietnam war vet piped in, completely startling me. I knew some of the ladies were aware I was gay but I didn’t volunteer that information to most of the men. Especially not Garry who I’d assumed to have some more conservative values. They were from a different generation and I knew being gay didn’t always fly with them. But since Garry had asked so casually, I played along.

  “He is,” I nodded, unable to hide the smile on my face.

  “That’s wonderful, Leo,” Edna chimed in. She was the sweetest little old lady, barely 5 feet tall with a short perm of white hair. “We were wondering when you’d find a nice man to look after you.”

  “Who says I needed looking after?” I narrowed my eyes at them but it was all in good fun. “Do I really seem like that much of a damsel in distress?”

  “Not at all, darling,” Edna said. “It’s just nice to have someone there. Someone to talk to.” She looked back at her canvas as her voice trailed off. The poor woman had lost her husband to cancer only a year ago. I’d talked with her about my mother and even visited her at the rest home for tea and biscuits. She didn’t have any family in the area and I knew she could let lonely. Her words hit me hard. She was right, it was nice to have someone to talk to. I had my friends but it was different with that special kind of someone. I’d shared a lot with Brooks in such a small amount of time. I’d given him a little part of myself that was only for him.

  I walked over to Edna and put my hand gently on her back. “It is nice to have someone to talk to,” I agreed. I changed the subject quickly, talking about the origins of still life and the artists that inspired us. Once the class was over, we gathered around for refreshments and a chat. It was only the seniors that we did this with. A lot of them were lonely or didn’t get out much, coming to Inspire for their Thursday morning art class was a big part of the week for them.

  “We want details,” Betty said. “You can’t tell us you’ve met someone and not give away anything. We want to know about the guy that’s stolen our favorite artists heart.”

  I sipped my cup of apple juice and looked around the group. Each and every one of them had their focus on me. I sighed, looking down at my tattoos. I was wearing a T-shirt which was a new thing for me and I smiled at how good I felt having Brooks’ beautiful art on me.

  “He took me out for dinner. We talked a lot. About anything and everything. We get a long really well. He’s… a gentleman.” I let them know. A chorus of oohs and ahhs followed my statement. “And we might have shared a kiss.” I teased.

  No way was I going to tell them that we shared more than a kiss. That I’d gotten on my knees for Brooks and loved every minute of it. I didn’t want to give anyone a heart attack. Daphne started to talk about the handsome new podiatrist that was working in the rest home and I sat back, relieved that the conversation had been taken off Brooks and I was off the hook for now. Apparently, Daphne was trying to set her granddaughter up with the man, much to her protest. I laughed. I’d never known my grandparents so it was nice to have a whole group of old folks to talk with. My mother had been kicked out of home at seventeen when they found out she was pregnant. She never went back to them, telling me they weren’t worth the time or energy. I always thought that was sad. My mother had a life full of heartache and she’d tried so hard for me not to have the same fate. Unfortunately, it felt inevitable. With no family and my mother dying when I was only seventeen, I’d already experienced the kind of heart ache she never wanted for me. My father had walked out on us when I was just a baby and we’d never heard from again. There was a string of men in our life but none of them ever stuck around long enough for it to feel like we were a proper family. Plus, they were all bad people. Drunks, adulterers, some were even violent. I’ll never forget the ones who were. It had broken my heart to come home from school and see my mother covered in bruises. She’d laugh and say she fell down the stairs or walked into a wall but even as a child, I knew. I knew that there were bad people in the world and that evil existed. I knew that it was better not to get close to people because that way you wouldn’t get hurt.

  When everyone had left, I tidied the studio getting it ready for the next class that afternoon. I was due for my lunch break when Evania walked into to the classroom and asked if I’d like to get lunch with her at the deli down the street. It had been a few weeks since we’d caught up properly and I knew she was curious about things with Brooks. I trusted Aria would have already passed on some information to her.

  I ordered my usual pastrami sandwich and a vanilla shake, sitting across from the woman who’d taken me under her wing. I had a lot of respec
t and admiration for Evania. I owed her a lot as well. I didn’t even want to think how things would be for me right now if she hadn’t taken me in, given me a job and taught me that second chances existed.

  When my mother passed away, I only had a few more months until my eighteenth birthday where I would legally become an adult. Her life insurance had left me a small amount of money I decided to use towards my art school tuition but I was in a bad situation otherwise. I suddenly had nowhere permanent to live. I moved my suitcase between seedy motels, share houses and sometimes even slept in my car. Then I met Caden and he let me stay with him a few nights a week. We talked about getting our own place but it never happened. I met Aria around the time Caden had left me and she introduced me to Evania who let me stay in her guest room. She gave me a job at Inspire as well. For the first time in my life I had real genuine people who cared about me but I still had a lot of healing to do. Evania and Aria found out about the self-harming and at that point, it was an addiction I couldn’t kick no matter how much better things were getting. Evania paid for me to have treatment in a clinic while I took a semester off art school. Surprisingly, I did get better. I learned to focus the overwhelming sadness in other things. I went on medication. I stopped hurting myself and things got better.

  “So… I hear you and that gorgeous tattooed man from the photographs are seeing each other,” Evania spilled. She poured a ridiculous amount of sugar into her black coffee and I scowled at her.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be cutting down?” I asked. This is what we did. We looked out for each other even if we didn’t like hearing what the other person had to say.

  “Leo, don’t change the subject. I’m hurt that I’ve had to hear the details second-hand from Aria. What’s going on?” She looked at me kindly, her blue eyes full of wisdom and knowledge.