Sacred Skin

by Terra Sinclair

  “We had a date on Tuesday. It was great. I really like him,” I told her.

  “I’m so happy for you,” Evania said. “He seemed lovely when I chatted briefly at your opening night.”

  “He is,” I told her, smiling. “But it’s also kind of complicated. I’m the first guy he’s been with.”

  Evania practically spat out her coffee. “So he’s straight?” she asked.

  “Not exactly. He’s undecided,” I told her. She looked confused. “He’s definitely not straight though. He enjoyed… certain things way too much to be a straight dude.”

  Evania’s eyes widened. “Careful, Leo. You know it’s a bad idea to get involved with someone who isn’t out yet. And you seem to really like him. I haven’t seen this excited about a guy… ever.”

  “I know. Believe me, I’ve thought a lot about everything. At the end of the day, it’s probably not going to go anywhere anyway,” I told her. I hated saying it out loud because that just confirmed what I already thought. With my terrible track record at relationships, it was so hard to imagine that what was happening with Brooks was real. That it could be something real. I was torn between my heart and my head. I was torn between wanting the thing that everybody else seemed to have except me.

  “You never know, honey. My first husband, Garrett, I never thought we would have ended up together. We were so different. He was a high-powered attorney and I was this free-loving hippy back then. We ended up falling head over heels for each other.”

  I looked at her and wondered how I didn’t know this. I’d heard of Garrett before. She’d said he was the love of her life. Despite that, she’d been married three more times. Garrett had died young in a car accident while he was away on a business trip.

  “I never knew that. They do say opposites attract. I’m not so sure Brooks and I are opposites though. The more time we spend together, the more I realize just how much we have in common. In a way, we’re one in the same. He just… makes me smile. I’ve never had that before. It’s always felt like I’ve been trying to force something with other men. Like I wanted things to be a certain way even though I didn’t feel it.” I admitted.

  “That’s great, honey. That’s exactly how it felt with Garrett. Sounds like you’ve got it bad for him. You should bring him by the gallery again. I’d like to get to know him better. See who the man is who’s stolen my boy’s heart,” she winked at me.

  Evania had always called me her boy. She wanted children with Garrett but after he passed away, she couldn’t go through with it with anyone else. She told me we were a gift to each other. I was the son she never had and she would be there to look out for me now that I was alone in the world. She’d never been overbearing or tried to replace my mother. She’d just been a sort of mentor. My guardian angel, really.

  We went back to the gallery and the whole afternoon I couldn’t shake our conversation about Brooks. Why did things always have to be so difficult? Why did I stress myself out so much? I wished I could just ride the wave instead of constantly worrying about when things were going to end between Brooks and I. It just seemed inevitable though. Brooks was… amazing, and once he got the whole being gay thing locked down, he’d be off dating every hot guy in the city. I was just the first notch on his belt. I sighed, trying to argue with myself that Brooks wasn’t like that. But then again, I’d never thought Caden was either, and look how great that turned out.

  12 Brooks

  I walked closely behind Leo into the dark movie theatre. Both of us had our arms full of snacks - popcorn and just about every essential movie theatre candy under the sun. It was a movie theatre I’d never been to before, one of those smaller ones that played both old and new movies as well as more independent or underground stuff. Leo had picked it for our second date, along with the movie we were going to watch. He’d asked me about five times if I was sure I wanted to see God’s Own Country. I told him I didn’t mind but I’d planned to look up the synopsis before we got to the theatre. I’d just been so busy that I didn’t get around to it and when we arrived at the movie theatre, I realized why he’d been so insistent about my comfort. We walked down the aisle to find our seats and my eyes gazed at the other movie-goers. They weren’t all gay couples, but the majority obviously were and if the poster we saw outside of two men sitting in a field hadn’t given me a clue before, I was definitely starting to take the hint. We were watching a gay movie. Or more accurately, a movie with gay themes. It was a first for me if you didn’t count Pornhub.

  We settled into our seats and I was already tempted to put my arm around Leo. I could smell the citrusy note in his freshly shampooed hair and I wanted to inhale all of him.

  “Mind if I?” Leo held the box of Raisinets over our jumbo popcorn. I grinned and nodded.

  “You sure know how to party,” I teased him.

  Leo gave me an adorable smirk and dumped the hole contents of the box in the popcorn. “Shake it a little.”

  “That’s what he said,” I joked, doing as Leo told me and gently shaking the popcorn until the Raisinets disappeared amongst the buttery treat. Leo snorted, gently hitting me. I loud shh came from somewhere behind us which only made Leo laugh harder. It was my turn to laugh now. When we had calm down enough to catch our breath, Leo sighed and wriggled to get more comfortable. I stretched my arm over and placed it around his shoulders, Leo’s head sinking into the muscle as the opening scene started.

  As the credits rolled, Leo and I made our way out of the cinema, our eyes adjusting to the bright lights in the theatre foyer. The movie had moved me in a way I had never felt and I suddenly wanted to be closer to Leo.

  “Coffee?” Leo suggested. I was too full of sugar to want anything else but coffee sounded amazing. I nodded. “There’s a nice place just across the road.”

  “Sounds perfect,” I told him, dumping our trash as we walked out into the street and crossed. When we got inside the coffee shop, we found a small table with two lush arm chairs on either side. The coffee shop was multileveled and cozy, with soft jazz playing from the speakers and the comforting smell of roasted beans lingering in the air.

  “I’ll go order. Americano, right?” Leo asked. I nodded and watched as he walked over to the counter. He looked as gorgeous this evening as he did every time I saw him. The weather was getting cooler and he had on this navy blue turtle neck that brought out his eyes.

  “What?” Leo asked when he came back to the table and sat down. I realized I was smiling at him like a goof ball. “What are you so happy about?”

  “What’s not to be happy about?” I replied instantly. “I’m spending the evening with the most beautiful man in the world. I couldn’t really get any luckier.”

  Leo blushed. With all the shit that was going on with Jay, it had been a long time since I’d felt genuinely happy. I was starting to feel it again though. I had always felt like something in my life was missing and suddenly… it was like everything was slotted in place. I was right where I needed to be. Here, with Leo.

  “Did you like the movie?” Leo asked, changing the subject from my flattery. “I wasn’t sure…”

  “I loved it,” I told him. “Thank you for taking me. You’re starting to make me feel very uncultured though. I realize I haven’t been to half the cool places in the city.”

  Leo laughed. “You’re welcome. I love it here. Mom and I moved around a lot but we spent the most time here. I moved back after she passed away - for art school.”

  “That must have been hard. You were young when it happened, right?” I asked him, wanting to know Leo better.

  “Seventeen,” he said, sipping his coffee. “It definitely wasn’t an easy time.”

  I couldn’t help reaching my hand over the table and stroking his forearm. It was the place where I’d done his tattoos. Where I’d covered the scars I still didn’t know much about.

  “Is that when it started?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t overstepping any lines.

  Leo looked down at my hand on his arm and c
losed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Yeah,” he looked at me. “I was in a lot of pain. I wanted a release and it worked for a while. I’m over that now, though. Don’t worry.”

  I couldn’t help worrying though. There was so much sadness in Leo’s eyes right now that I didn’t know what to say or do to make it go away. I wanted to do something though. Wanted to let him know that I’d do whatever I could to make sure he never felt that way again.

  “I’m glad to hear that. I really care about you,” I told him. “I hope you’d talk to me if you ever needed to.”

  Leo shrugged. “I would,” he smiled, but I wasn’t so sure. There was a part of Leo he kept hidden and I hoped one day I’d get to see it. “Did you grow up around here?”

  “Across town,” I told him. “My mom still lives in the same house I grew up in. Only, she’s remarried now. My dad is… somewhere. We don’t really keep in touch. My stepdad’s great though.”

  “I don’t keep in touch with my father either,” Leo said.

  “His loss,” I told him. We’d finished our coffees and were lingering now, slowly getting to know each other better. If I wanted to be honest though, all I could think about was taking Leo home with me. “Shall we get out of here?”

  “You’re tired of me already?” Leo teased.

  “Not at all. The opposite in fact. I want you in my bed,” I told him with a dead pan look.

  Leo blushed and bit his lip. “Oh,” he whispered softly. “Okay.”

  My cock stirred at the idea of a naked Leo sprawled out on my bed. I hoped he wanted it as much as I did. I stood up and held my hand out to him. Leo quickly looked around the coffee shop but no one was watching us. He slotted his hand in mine and I pulled him up, releasing him when he was on his feet as I led him to the door by the small of his back. It was dark now as we poured out onto the street. I got out my phone and ordered an Uber, barely able to contain my arousal as I looked over at Leo glowing beautifully under a street lamp. I scanned the street for people but no one was there, so I pulled him into me and kissed him slow and deep right there in the middle on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop. My entire body lit up with lust as I pulled him into me, kissing deeper, our mouths growing more needy and desperate. The headlights of a Prius approached us and we quickly separated, catching our breaths as we smiled at each other.

  “Home time,” I told him, slapping him on the ass gently and making our way into the Uber.

  13 Leo

  Brooks lived on the ground floor of a brownstone building not far from Sacred Skin. I was surprised at first when he opened the door to the place, it’s sleek and modern interior contrasting with his slightly alternative taste in furniture. Everything was black leather or muted browns. Vintage motorcycle signs hung in the entrance way and a large television and gaming system took up the majority of the living room space and I spied a set of weights and a sports mat in another corner.

  “I know. It’s a total bachelor pad,” Brooks said, as he watched me inspecting the place.

  “It’s nice,” I admitted. “You are a bachelor after all.” I teased him.

  “Maybe not for much longer,” Brooks winked at me.

  There he went again. Saying the things I secretly wanted to hear but hoped I wouldn’t. When he went around calling me “the most beautiful man in the world” or hinting that he wanted to be in a relationship with me, it was hard to keep my head and my heart separate. He knew how to indulge the neediest desire in me. The one that was desperate for a kind of love that lasted forever. One where I could give myself entirely without fear.

  “You alright?” Brooks asked. I realized I’d gone into a daze after that last thing he’d said to me, scared if I moved I might burst the bubble of this perfect moment I was currently in.

  “Couldn’t be better,” I said. “Where’s the bedroom?”

  Brooks laughed and shook his head. “Come here,” he said, pulling me into him. “I’m so happy you’re here with me.” His large hands reached up and cupped my face, forcing me to look at him. Our breathing tangled together and I parted my mouth, ready and wanting. Needing. His mouth enveloped mine, causing my whole body to come alive beneath him. This was what this man did to me. It was unlike anything I’d experienced before. Brooks’ hands traveled down my body till they were firmly cupped on my ass. He kneaded my cheeks as he continued to kiss me. I moaned into his mouth.

  “Seriously. Bedroom. Now,” I said, when we came up for air. “I want you.”

  Brooks nodded and led me to through the living room, kicking open his bedroom door and practically tossing me onto his bed. He was on top of me again, kissing me with the same intensity as a moment ago. He was so big and muscular. My hands gripped his biceps, feeling nothing but hardness. It was incredibly sexy. Brooks moved back onto his knees and pulled off his sweatshirt, his T-shirt following until his bare, inked skin was all I could see.

  “Your turn,” Brooks said, his voice like gravel.

  I did as he said, pulling off my turtle neck and undershirt. I was so small next to him. Just pale luminous skin and bone. I watched as Brooks undid his belt buckle and tugged both his jeans and boxer briefs down. His cock sprung free, hard and leaking as it slapped flush against his belly. I let out a moan. He was a fucking god. A Greek statue, all perfectly carved muscle.

  Brooks’ hands moved to my pants and he undid the zipper and tugged them off in one fast, swift motion. My length became free, still decent in size but lacking the thickness Brooks had. I realized this was the first time Brooks had been faced with another guys cock but he certainly wasn’t shy about it. He bit his lip and lowered his naked body to mine. His cock slid over my body, lining up against my own. He moved atop of me, our lengths sliding over each other. I brought my hand to my mouth, spitting in it then moving it over to both our throbbing cocks.

  “What are you doing?” Brooks asked, before his eyes rolled back in his head. I could barely grip around the both of us but there was enough friction to give us both a good stroke. “Holy fuck.” Brooks’ breathing was labored and heavy. He kissed me again.

  “What do you want?” I asked him, not sure how far he was willing to go. I didn’t want to rush him. Didn’t want to take things too fast. Even if I wanted him to fuck me so freakin’ bad.

  “You,” Brooks panted. “All of you.”

  “You want to fuck me?” I asked, arousal flooding through my body as the words came out. I wanted to feel him stretch me open. To feel him slowly moving inside me.

  “Oh fuck,” Brooks said. “Yes. I want that. So fucking much.”

  Brooks pressed back to his knees again and looked down at my ass. I lifted my legs a little so he could get a better look. He reached out and traced a finger over the crease, then to the sides of my inner thighs, causing goosebumps on what felt like my entire body.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said, his head moving between my legs. He kissed my leg, trailing his mouth up until he was at my ass. “Wanna taste you.”

  “Do it,” I begged, lifting my legs a little higher. As soon as his tongue lapped against me, I saw stars. “Oh, fuck.”

  Brooks’ hands spread me open a little wider, and his tongue entered me a little more with each stroke. It was fucking heaven. I reached down for my cock and stroked myself in time to the rhythm of Brooks’ movements. I was teary-eyed and trembling. A complete mess coming undone beneath him when Brooks suddenly stopped.

  “Why?” I protested, thrusting my hips desperately. I didn’t want it to ever end.

  “Because I need to be inside you. I can’t wait any longer.” Brooks said coming up for air. He reached over to his night stand, pulling out a condom and lube. “I’m gonna need your help with this. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

  “You sure seem like you already know what you’re doing,” I said, my body still warm with pleasure. “That was the best ass-licking I’ve ever had.”

  Brooks laughed as he rolled the condom over his length. “I never knew you were such a dirty b
oy,” he teased.

  If I was being honest, neither did I. But Brooks brought something out in me. The sex was hot and I was willing to do whatever Brooks wanted.

  “Takes one to know one,” I said, pulling him back on top of me. Brooks lowered his mouth to mine, this time kissing me slowly as to savor the moment.

  “Touché,” he whispered into my mouth.

  I reached for the lube and squirted some on my hand before rubbing the cool gel over my hole. I knew we were going to need a fair bit of the stuff given Brooks’ size and I wasn’t exactly experienced. I’d only had anal sex with two other guys before, and that was a long time ago.

  “Touch me a little first,” I told him.

  Brooks nodded, bringing his fingers back to my crease. He stroked over the hole then gently pressed into me. I winced a little at the initial stretch but my body quickly adjusted. “That okay?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I told him. “More please.”

  Brooks smiled and I suddenly felt so small underneath him. Not in a bad way. Just like I was this delicate thing he was taking care of. He was big and hulking and protective. It was everything I didn’t know I needed. I felt another finger graze against me then press inside. Brooks moved the two fingers inside me, pressing deeper until he scraped against that magical spot. I let out a cry.

  “Prostate?” Brooks asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “A+. You’ve been doing your homework,” I said, my mouth unable to stay shut.

  “Just a little. I didn’t want to be bad for you,” he admitted, his nervousness a stark contrast to his outward appearance.

  “That would be impossible darling. Now give me more,” I commanded him, surprised at my bossiness.

  A third finger entered me, the fullness making me shudder. I was definitely ready for Brooks to fuck me now. “How’s that?”

  “Fucking incredible,” I gasped. “Now stick your cock in me.”