Shameless

by Storm, Zee Shine

  "Want some company?" I asked without thinking. Jesus. He must feel like tearing his hair out with all this back and forth I kept doing. I cringed. "Never mind. You obviously don't want company because that's the whole point of you wanting to be alone, right? I don't know why-"

  "I'll wait for you at the edge of your property."

  I stopped talking and for some reason, felt like crying some more. He was more than twenty years younger than me but right now, he sounded more mature than I did.

  "Okay," I said meekly and hung up.

  Getting out of bed, I went to check on my kids and when I was certain they were all in their rooms sound asleep, I got dressed and did something I thought was ridiculous just a few nights ago. I sneaked out in the middle of the night to go hang out with a teenager.

  ....

  "You know if someone saw me, I'd get in so much trouble," I said anxiously as I sat inside the cosy little tent Zi had pitched at his secret spot which was no longer a secret now that I knew about it.

  It wasn't that far away from our premises but it was well-hidden behind a tree-covered slope and the fire he had kindled was small but gave off enough warmth due to its proximity to the tent. He was a regular boy scout, I had discovered and was used to doing all this. Dinner had consisted of sausages roasted over the fire along with Italian bread and some hot cocoa. Ziad hadn't said much to me except to ask me if I was hungry or comfortable or warm enough. Now he looked over at me with a small frown where I sat huddled and tense in one corner.

  "Do you want me to walk you back?" he asked me. "I'm happy you're here but if you don't want to be-"

  "I do," I said quickly. Anything was better than that lonely bed and my depressive thoughts. "I'm sorry. It's just been so many years since I did something...sneaky," I confessed. "I keep feeling like I'd be asked to 'freeze' any moment now by a cop or something."

  He laughed at my dramatics and began digging inside the pocket of his sweatpants. "Here," he said, handing me a wrapped up piece of gum before chewing on one himself.

  It was just gum, right? Minty and sweet. People chewed gum all the time. It didn't mean anything. It wasn't as though we were getting ready to kiss again.

  The silence stretched as we sat inside the tent and I looked everywhere except at him.

  "Look, I don't want to hurt your feelings," I told him while hugging my knees to my chest. "I know it's all new and exciting for you, being a teenager and all that but...you have to understand, Zi. I love my husband and my family too much to risk everything just because I...um...because...I think you're..."

  "Hot," he finished for me and I knew I was blushing hard but I managed to nod.

  "What makes you think you might hurt my feelings?" he asked me after a moment.

  I glanced at him uncertainly. He appeared really calm and unbothered while I was so on edge. I didn't know how to answer him. I didn't want to sound egoistic or seem presumptuous. Zi got up and went to check the fire while I grabbed a bottle of water and gulped down some of it. I should leave. It wasn't right being here. The kids never disturbed me at nights but what if tonight, something happened and one of them sought me out only to find my bed empty?

  After Ziad came back inside, he lay down on his sleeping bag and just studied me for a while. Then he said the most shocking thing I had ever heard coming out of his mouth.

  "I don't mind just having sex," he told me casually. "It doesn't have to be serious. I get what you mean about your husband and family. I don't want to ruin your marriage or hurt Jacob."

  I stared at him. How could he sound so relaxed about it all? He was suggesting a purely physical affair and here I was sitting there and considering it. This was insane.

  "Zi-"

  "I know all the reasons we shouldn't," he continued in that same flat tone. "But I think you're really sexy and you're obviously attracted to me too. How long do you expect us to keep fighting it? Maybe if we just gave in to it a few times, there wouldn't be any more temptation and we can just get on with our lives after."

  My eyebrows went up at his words. Wow. Who would have thought an eighteen year old would be saying these things to me? I had always believed Zi was a nice boy and someone respectable so this change in his attitude came as a surprise to me. He didn't seem like the sort of person who approached sex casually but that was exactly what he wanted from me now and he wasn't making a secret of it.

  Maybe, underneath all that decency, he was just like any other horny teenager and was simply tired of dealing with my hang-ups.

  "A few times, huh?" I asked mildly. He seemed really sure that once wouldn't be enough. Not that I was ever going to go that far with him.

  Zi glanced at me coolly. "Well, if you'd like it to be more than a few times, I'm open to the idea as well," he replied.

  Why didn't I like this side of him? He sounded so different. Almost...rude.

  "Are you okay?" I asked him, feeling puzzled. "Did something happen at home?"

  His response was to turn over, present his back to me and ignore my question. "You can stay here with me, Mrs. Sawyer," he said. He had already set up extra blankets and pillows for me earlier. "I won't touch you without your permission. And I'm a light sleeper. I'd keep us safe. Nobody comes around here anyway."

  Now he sounded sad and lost. My heart grew heavy because I didn't know what had happened to make him act this way. Zi was always polite and willing to help, always courteous and ready with a warm smile or kind words. To see him behave like this was unsettling.

  I simply acted on instinct then. Going over to him, I reached out with a hand and caressed his hair which felt silky and thick. He was warm and solid, so close to me. I only wanted to offer some comfort. Whatever it was that was eating him up inside and he couldn't share with me, I just wanted him to know that someone cared. Someone was there for him.

  After a minute, Zi turned over onto his back and looked up at me, not saying a word. I continued running my fingers through his hair without speaking as well. The tent was illuminated only by the firelight and I could see him well enough. His dark eyes shone a little and I wasn't sure if it was due to unshed tears or just a trick of the light.

  Raising himself up suddenly, he startled me by removing his sweater before lying back down. My mouth went dry at the sight of his bare torso and my heart started beating a little faster. Again, we didn't speak. Words should have been spoken. Mostly by me. Something along the lines of 'no' or 'I need to leave'.

  But he took my hand and placed it back where it was seconds ago, silently asking for my touch again. My fingers trembled in nervous anticipation. I forgot who he was supposed to be for a moment. I forgot who I was supposed to be. I started to feel as though I'd just stumbled upon this really young and extremely hot guy while walking through the woods and he'd invited me to his tent so we could simply enjoy each other.

  Yeah. When I told myself that, it began to feel good.

  So good that I didn't protest when his hand lifted slowly and he started to unzip me. I wore a woolen cardigan with a zipper in front which went all the way down over a sweater.

  Once he finished with that task, he waited for me to make a move. I didn't know why the hell I wasn't thinking straight anymore. I didn't want to. So I shrugged off the cardigan and then shamelessly took off my sweater as well.

  Inside, I had on a tank top and Zi raised himself up again to murmur, "So many layers."

  "It's cold," I said, feeling the goosebumps on my skin and also, a heaviness in my breasts as he watched me intently.

  Time seemed to freeze. The crackling fire and wind whooshing through tree branches were the only sounds. I shivered slightly because the air really was chilly as Zi sat up properly to face me.

  His hands moved to my arms to rub some warmth into them and I closed my eyes, wanting his touch everywhere. God, I felt so aroused. It had been almost two weeks for me. I missed the warmth and vigour of a man's body against mine as we lost ourselves in the throes of passion. I started to wonder what Zi was
like in bed. What kind of lover was he?

  "Skye," he spoke quietly and I opened my eyes to look at him once more. He licked his lips a little. "Can you take this off too?" he asked me, referring to the tank top. "And your bra as well."

  I blinked at him as my mind clouded with lust. His demeanour was both eager and hesitant at the same time.

  "You can't tell anyone," I said breathlessly, jolts of pleasure running through me at the thought of what I was about to do. Something forbidden.

  He shook his head and said, "I would never."

  So solemnly and sincerely he spoke that I didn't mind baring the rest of my upper body to him as well in slow, deliberate movements.

  The way he watched me was thrilling. As if he didn't want to miss a thing. I smiled a little at the attention. When my breasts hung free and his gaze focused on them though, I started to feel self-conscious. He was probably used to being with girls his own age with their perky boobs and firm bodies. What if he turned away in disgust?

  "Can I touch them?" he asked me in a low voice.

  I didn't answer but took his hands, brought them up to my breasts and placed them there silently. There. You can touch all you want now.

  He seemed to grow very still afterwards, like I had stunned him. His throat worked as he swallowed a few times and I heard his breaths quicken. Then, slowly, he began to move his hands and knead my breasts. His touch was gentle, too gentle. His thumbs grazed my nipples and I arched my back slightly, feeling moisture gathering in my pussy. I wanted his hands there too and so I raised myself up on my knees and unzipped my jeans before taking one of his hands and sliding them inside my panties.

  Ziad went still again. God, did I overwhelm him so much that he found it hard to decide what to do with his hands? It felt incredible now that he was touching me so intimately but I wanted him to do more.

  "What is it? Is this too much?" I asked suddenly and my question made him react by shifting away to remove his sweatpants and underwear so that he was completely naked.

  Oh, God. He looked amazing. So strong and muscular with that athletic, toned body. And his erection was jutting out at me as though demanding my touch.

  I ran my hands over his thighs before wrapping my fingers around his cock. Zi let out a strangled sort of sound which made me look at him sharply. He was biting his lip and had a tortured expression on his face. I supposed this was torture for him. At his age, I doubted he bothered with slow seduction and practised moves. He must just be used to getting naked and then getting his dick inside a girl as quickly as possible.

  I found this encounter extremely hot and exciting. The vixen in me had taken over now, crushing all reasonable thoughts. He was beautiful and he wanted me. Maybe just this once. No one had to know. No harm done.

  "Do you have condoms?" I whispered to him. Ziad shook his head.

  I frowned. That was a little odd. Boys these days were smart and many of them pretty sexually active from a young age so I figured the absence of protection was simply due to the fact that he hadn't planned on having sex tonight. Disappointment rang through me because unprotected sex with him was not something I was interested in having. I was on the pill but there was the danger of STIs because I wasn't sure if he was free of those and I didn't want to ruin the mood by asking.

  "We'd just have to go without the penetration part then," I told him and he didn't respond to that.

  He seemed to have gone speechless as soon as my hand had touched his cock.

  However, he recovered after a few seconds. "Um...please...can you...?" He struggled to voice his next words so I leaned forward and kissed him.

  His mouth opened up to me, his hands once again coming up to massage my breasts as we kissed.

  "Do it harder," I said to him and he hesitated for a second before squeezing my breasts.

  I cried out a little and pumped him in response, his dick starting to swell even more as I continued to give him a hand job. Then his arms came around me and he pulled me closer until I was straddling him, our kisses growing wilder by the minute. He felt amazing. I wanted to devour him to be honest.

  So hard and smooth all over. His lips trailed a path of liquid heat across my throat as I unashamedly explored the ridges and muscles of his body. Such a gorgeous body but he didn't seem to realise it; his lovemaking lacked any arrogance or finesse. Not that I didn't find whatever he was doing enjoyable. God, I wished we had condoms because I was beginning to go insane with desire and I wanted to have sex so bad.

  "Do you get regular check-ups?" I gasped as he bent his head to take one of my nipples in his mouth and bit a little too hard.

  He didn't answer me because his mouth suddenly seemed to find my breasts absolutely fascinating. He let out these tiny moans as he touched me and sucked on my nipples because I was still rubbing myself on his cock. Now I eagerly wanted that cock inside me.

  "Zi?" I cradled his head and lifted it to catch his eyes. "Are you safe? Nothing for me to worry about if I asked you to have sex with me raw?"

  He didn't seem to understand my question at first but then his eyes widened a little and he swallowed again.

  "I'm okay," he rasped out. "Healthy. You don't have to worry."

  Boys would say anything but he didn't seem the type at all. He'd always shown restraint and respect when it came to our physical interactions. I realised something about this boy at that moment that shocked me little. I actually trusted him.

  Smiling slightly, I kissed him again, more thoroughly this time and then moved back to remove my jeans and panties. He watched me with clenched fists and with his muscles straining as I lay down on the blankets and held out an arm to him.

  He didn't move for so long that I began to feel a little embarrassed. What if he didn't want to have sex with me after all? Maybe he had changed his mind after seeing and touching my body and realising that I wasn't like those young, high-school girls he was used to being around.

  But he proved me wrong and came to me willingly, kissing my neck and shoulders in his gentle manner and kneading my breasts again.

  "Touch me there," I whispered to him. "Between my legs." Slowly, he slid his hand down to rub my pussy while his mouth claimed mine and played with it.

  "Like this?" he asked me and I thought it was adorable how he sounded so uncertain but horny at the same time.

  I put my hand over his and guided his fingers inside me, in and out. A dragged out moan escaped him, his erection so insistent against my thigh. When I used my leg to rub it, Ziad actually trembled a little.

  "Skye, please," he said in strained voice.

  His fingers were spreading my wetness all over without any rhythm in their movements. Shifting to wrap my arms around his neck, I gave in to the extreme pleasure which I was experiencing in that moment.

  "Fuck me," I told him in an urgent voice. "I'm ready."

  Ziad lifted himself up on his arms and stared down at my face as though he wanted to say something. I waited to hear it but he looked down at the spot where my thighs parted and then slowly, with somewhat clumsy movements, he positioned himself between them and one of his hands went to his cock to guide it towards my entrance.

  Closing my eyes, I arched my back and lifted my hips a little to accommodate him as he pushed himself inside me bit by bit. I moaned at the sensation of feeling so full after so many nights of loneliness and frustration. This was just a fuck. That was it. He'd be over the moon about sleeping with an older woman but then forget about it soon and I would be able to stop thinking of him as forbidden fruit and get back to normalcy.

  "Mmm. Yeah. Just like that. Just slide it in. Slowly," I urged.

  He wasn't slow at all. After about ten seconds of quiet, careful penetration, he bucked and groaned while thrusting in me quickly and roughly. I could only hold on to the blankets as he plunged into me over and over again.

  "Zi...Zi, slow down," I finally managed to utter and he blinked at me, his head inches above mine, his chest crushing my breasts.

  "It's s
o good," he grunted then moved swiftly to kneel on the blankets instead of lying horizontally before hooking his arms around my thighs and lifting them a little so he could angle me better for more hard fucking.

  "Ahh!" I cried out sharply at his roughness. He was like an over-eager teenager driven crazy by lust and he didn't stop or slow down for a moment.

  "Ah, ah, ungh," he grunted as his balls slapped against my skin. "Shit, that’s so good."

  I stared at his figure as he pounded inside me. He was relentless in his fucking. I never would have thought him capable of acting like this. Then suddenly, Zi stopped moving, stiffened and groaned again before hastily pulling out of me.

  "Oh, fuck, I'm fucking cumming," he jerked out and pumped himself with his hand a few times before spraying white hot cum over my thighs. "Fuck, yes," he gasped as he drained himself.

  He shocked me considerably. Which was saying a lot because I had had threesomes with Cole and Jasper where all of us acted far more crudely than this but...Ziad's reaction was something else entirely.

  So raw and unrestrained. He hadn't made me come. I wasn't actually surprised by that though. That took the kind of knowledge and experience which he didn't possess, especially when it came to me. I'm sure I would have reached climax with him at some point though if he had lasted a little longer because I was really turned on by him.

  He collapsed next to me suddenly, his chest heaving as we lay there all messy and certainly no longer cold because of the sweat we had worked up.

  "That was...amazing," he breathed and then started to laugh a little. "Skye...I'm so sorry. I just-"

  "It's all right," I said, turning to face him and rubbing a hand over his chest. "I get it. That was pretty intense."

  We didn't speak for a minute and I felt sleepy but still quite frustrated. Ziad sighed and it sounded like a sigh of contentment which made me smile. I'd made him feel a little bit better than how he'd felt about ten minutes ago.

  "Can we do that again?" he asked me suddenly and I giggled at how enthusiastic he sounded.