My Truth My Time My Turn

by Shelia E. Bell

  A bubble of laughter rose in her throat. “Winston.”

  “He’s a lucky guy.”

  Fancy didn’t know how to accept Stiles’ remark. Was he flirting or just being friendly? She settled on the latter. Stiles had not shown any interest in her. Apart from the kiss, which she initiated that night long ago, he hadn’t given her any indication that he wanted to be anything more than friends and in-laws. Anyway, she had Winston and she was happy in the relationship. He treated her with kindness and respect. He enjoyed wining and dining her and he was an excellent lover. Yet, her mind always fell back to Hezekiah. She had to keep reminding herself that everything she and Hezekiah shared was in the past.

  “Thank you, Stiles. You know, it feels good to have someone to talk to. Someone who I don’t have to put on airs with, who I can tell how I feel without being thought of as stupid or naïve. You get me, and I’m grateful for our friendship.”

  “Yea, the same here.”

  “What about the woman back in Houston. Karen? Is that her name?”

  “It’s Kareena. She’s getting married.”

  “What? But I thought the two of you…well, I thought you two had something going on.”

  “I don’t think I actually came out and said that, but either way I couldn’t chance hurting her. I’m not ready to get into another relationship, you know. She’s a good woman, a real good woman. I can’t say I like the fact she’s marrying someone else, but I couldn’t expect her to sit around and wait on me. God knows I may never be ready to give my all to someone else again. I’m committed to my ministry. Full of Grace and Holy Rock. The man she’s engaged to is a good man. A member of my church. And he’s closer to her age.”

  “I see,” Fancy said, hearing the hurt in Stiles’ voice. “You need someone in your life, Stiles.”

  “I have God.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Yeah, I know. It’s just like the young lady at dinner said when Sista Mavis talked about her not being married yet. She said in God’s timing. That’s how I feel. If it’s meant for me to have another wife, it will be up to God. Everything happens according to his timetable. Not ours. Anyway, enough of us wallowing in our sorrows. I think I’m going to hit the shower and then see how that bed feels. It’s calling my name.”

  Fancy laughed again. “I hear you. It was good talking to you, Stiles, and welcome back.”

  8

  “Never trust all of what you see, because sometimes lies appear clearer

  than the reality.” Unknown

  “Hey, sweetheart. I didn’t know you were coming over. You didn’t call me. Wait, did I miss your call?” Detria turned around to retrieve her phone off the table in the family room.

  Ignoring her, Khalil went straight to interrogating her. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. “How do you know Winston Washington and who is he to you?”

  “Hold up, who and what are you talking about?” Detria asked, feigning surprise.

  “Don’t play me, Dee. You know darn well who I’m talking about, but since you wanna play dumb, this is who I’m talking about.” He pushed his phone in front of Dee’s face, revealing the picture of her and Winston. “Does this jog your memory? Now who is he to you?”

  “He…he’s a friend. Where did you get this picture?” A hollow feeling formed in the pit of her stomach.

  “Don’t worry about that. Now I’m going to ask you one more time, who is he?” Khalil grabbed hold of Detria’s arm tightly.

  “Khalil, stop it. You’re hurting me.”

  He turned her loose, but she saw the anger in his eyes. It was like his face had darkened and his eyes had turned deep red. She rarely saw

  him get this upset with her. “I told you, he’s a friend. I was out shopping and I ran into him. We go way back.”

  “Why do I know you’re lying?”

  “I’m not. I’m telling you the truth.”

  “You’re lying. But you know what, I’m not going to entertain your crap tonight, Dee, but I guarantee you this, I’m going to find out what connection he has to you.” Khalil’s steps reverberated with force across the hardwood floors as he made his way toward the front door.

  “Khalil, wait. Don’t leave. Please.” She ran after him. “I miss you, baby.”

  Khalil didn’t bother to stop until he got to Dee’s front door.

  “What if I told you Winston and Hezekiah are supposed to be meeting here at seven thirty tomorrow night? You can come over. Pretend you popped up. Then you can find out for yourself what’s going on. I promise, I don’t know anything they’re doing. All your father told me to do was arrange the meet up. I promise, Khalil. Please, come back inside. I miss you, baby.” A faint flush tinged her cheeks.

  Khalil turned, looked at her. His eyes were hard and scornful. Deep creases formed on his face. “Remember this one thing, Dee. I’m my father’s son. Don’t play with me.” With that being said, he stormed out of her door, not bothering to close it behind him.

  Dee stood in the doorway, trembling. When she saw Khalil get in his car and drive off, she closed the door and ran back to the family room. Picking up her phone, she dialed the number. “Hezekiah, Khalil saw me talking to Winston.”

  “You’re so stupid. How did that happen?”

  “I…well, I had some shopping to do so I called him and told him to meet me so we could talk. I told him what you said about wanting to meet him.” She pushed a hand through her hair. “He asked about George, and wanted to know the reason you wanted to see him. When I convinced him to come to my house tomorrow night, everything was cool. I don’t know when Khalil saw us, but he did because he had a picture of me and Winston in his cell phone. I can’t believe the first time I’ve laid eyes on that man and I end up getting caught up in more of your mess. I’m telling you this one last time, Hezekiah. After tomorrow night, I’m done. I’m not doing any more of your dirty work. I’ll find me another supplier. I have money and I don’t need you to do anything for me,” she cried.

  “You talk a good game now, Detria, but I know you. Frankly, I don’t care if I never see your face again. And you finally make sense. I think it is time you and I part ways. You’re more trouble to me than you’re worth. After tomorrow night, I want you out of my life.” Hezekiah ended the call.

  He was furious. Sleeping with Detria had been a mistake from the start. All she caused was more problems for him and he was sick and tired of her. She was right, tomorrow night would be the end of it all. She could add nothing to his life.

  After the day’s events, and ending it with a deep conversation with Stiles, Fancy felt an overwhelming desire to pray. Most of the time she prayed out loud when she was home alone, rarely getting on her knees. But tonight was different. Stiles had made so much sense in the things he’d said.

  Fancy knelt beside her bed. Clasping her hands together and looking upward, she began to pray. She asked God to first forgive her for all the wrong she’d done, for all the problems she’d caused in her own life and the lives of others. Hot tears welled into her eyes as she cried out to God. She didn’t know how long she remained on her knees, but when she opened her eyes, a feeling of release and perfect peace washed over her as she got up and climbed into the bed. Pulling the soft white linen covers around her, within minutes she was asleep.

  Before she knew it, morning had come. She opened her eyes, yawned and stretched then got out of bed. “Thank you, God.” Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she stumbled to her bathroom and turned on the shower.

  The streaming water added to the peace and calm in her spirit. She remained in the shower until the water began to turn cold. Stepping out, she quickly grabbed a towel off the towel rack to dry herself, when she heard her cell phone ringing. While continuing to dry off, she walked out of the bathroom and into her bedroom to retrieve the phone. The call ended before she made it to the phone. Picking up the phone, she looked at the missed call. It was Winston. This brought a smile to her face.

  She finished dryin
g off and then sat in the bed chair next to the night stand. “Good morning,” she said while toweling her hair.

  “Hey, sexy. I didn’t mean to wake you from your beauty sleep.”

  “You didn’t. I was actually in the shower when you called.”

  “Ummm, what I wouldn’t give to be there with you.”

  Fancy blushed.

  “So, Mr. Washington, how are you this morning?”

  “I’m good. I’m at the office. I thought I’d call before I got too busy. I was thinking maybe you’d like to meet me for lunch.”

  “I’d love to. Where and what time?”

  “I have two meetings this morning that I already know are going to be pretty lengthy so let’s say one o’clock?”

  “One is fine. Where do you want to meet?”

  “I was thinking we could meet at Casablanca, the Poplar location.”

  “Oh, great. I love Casablanca. Their food is delicious. I’ll be sure to save my appetite.” She laughed into the phone.

  “Good, then I’ll see you at one. Have a good morning, sweetheart.”

  “Thanks, Winston. See you later.”

  She laughed, tossed the towel from her hair to the side, and twirled around. She liked Winston. Liked him a lot. She prayed out loud. “God, whatever you want this to be let it be. You know I like him, and I know I need to move on from any hopes of me and Hezekiah getting back together. So, God, if Winston is the man for me, then make it clear, but if he isn’t, then remove him from my life.”

  Since she wasn’t going into the office she called her girlfriend, Tara. Tara was a stay-at-home mom. Fancy knew Tara worked out almost every morning at the Y near where they lived.

  “Hey, girl.”

  “Hi, Fancy.”

  “You working out today?”

  “You know it. I’m getting the kids ready now. What’s up?”

  “I was thinking about joining you.”

  “What? You mean you aren’t going to Holy Rock, your home away from home?”

  “Nope. I’m sure Khalil and Xavier have things under control. And now that Stiles Graham is back, my presence won’t be needed as much, so with that being said it’s time I take advantage of these days of freedom, you know.”

  Fancy had mixed feelings about Khalil asking her to spend more time away from Holy Rock. Holy Rock was part of her life, of who she was, but like anything else in life, change happens and she had to adjust to it.

  “That’s great. And Victoria is coming, too. This is going to be fun. A real girl’s day out.

  “Victoria is off work?”

  “Yeah, today and tomorrow. She said she had some days she had to take or she would lose them.”

  “Okay, then I’m glad I called.”

  “So am I. I should be on my way in about half an hour. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Okay, by girl.” Fancy ended the call and sauntered over to her immaculate walk-in closet with everything in its rightful place. The custom-made shelving made it easy for her to keep her clothes and shoes sorted. After settling on a pair of pink kaleidoscope printed leggings and a matching top, she picked out a pair of sneakers.

  She put on her clothes and pulled her natural locs up in a bun on top of her head. Singing out loud, she sang, “That’s who you are… and I’m loved by you…” one of her favorite songs by Chris Tomlin.

  In the kitchen she made some toast and ate a grapefruit, foregoing her usual cup of coffee. Once she finished her light breakfast, she got her 32-ounce tumbler and filled it with spring water before grabbing her gym bag and heading out of the door.

  9

  “Loyalty means I am down with you whether you are wrong or right. But I will tell you, when you are wrong and help you get it right.” Unknown

  Working out with Victoria and Tara proved to be just what Fancy needed. After their workout, they sat in the lounge of the Y talking.

  “How’s it going with that handsome hunk you’re seeing?” Tara asked Fancy.

  “I’m meeting him for lunch at one. So that should tell you a thing or two.”

  “I want to hear the down and dirty stuff.”

  “Victoria, girl, stop it,” Fancy replied, laughing along with Tara.

  “I have to agree with Victoria on this one, Fancy. I want to hear too.”

  “So, come on, tell us. What’s going on with you two, girl?”

  The ladies giggled like teenagers as Fancy told them, “All I’m going to tell you is he’s not lacking anything in that department.”

  “Ahhhh,” Victoria screamed.

  “Shush,” Tara said, tapping Victoria on the hand. “Folks are going to hear us.”

  “Girl, look around. There’s no one in here except those two old ladies over there, and they don’t seem the least bit interested in what’s going on over here.”

  “Well, since we’re playing true confessions, tell me how things are going with you and

  Minister Davis? I was expecting to see you accompany him to the dinner we gave Stiles last night.”

  “For your information, he did invite me to go with him, and I told him I would. But my mother called while I was at work. My dad had to be taken to the hospital so you know I had to go see about him. That meant driving to Jackson, Tennessee. I couldn’t leave her to deal with it all alone. She was scared to death.”

  “Oh, my. Is he okay?” asked Fancy.

  “Yeah, you didn’t mention it when we talked this morning,” Tara said.

  “Yes, she thought he’d had a stroke, but when they ran tests they said it wasn’t a stroke. His blood pressure had spiked. My mother says she thinks he’s been adding salt to his food, which he’s not supposed to do. But Dad is a salt lover so it’s hard to control that. As soon as she turns her back, he reaches for that salt container. Anyway, they got his pressure down and sent him home. He’s going to be okay this time. I mean my parents are relatively young, in their sixties, but he’s had problems with his blood pressure since he was in his twenties.”

  “Well, thank God he’s going to be okay,” Fancy said.

  “So, let’s get back to you and Minister Davis.”

  “Yeah, let’s hear it,” Tara added.

  “Okay, but it’s not what you think. I mean, he’s a good guy. If you’re asking if we’ve been intimate, the answer is no. We’ve kissed one time and that’s it. He’s a kind man but at the end of the day, I know he’s not the one.”

  “But why?” Tara asked.

  “He just isn’t. First off, he’s much older than the men I’m used to dating. He’s set in his ways, but the main thing is he’s still lamenting over his dead wife, and I can’t compete with the dead. Every time we talk or go out to dinner, or anywhere, he compares me to her, or he’s taking me to places the two of them used to go. Our conversations always end up being about her. I told him we can be friends and friends only 'cause I can’t compete with her. You know what he said?”

  “What?” Fancy asked.

  “He said, “‘You sound just like my wife.’”

  “What! Oh, my God!” said Fancy.

  Tara and Fancy broke out in spontaneous laughter.

  “Ugghhh, creepy,” Tara said, “I understand now. Don’t you, Fancy?”

  “Yea, I do. Look, girl, don’t worry, you’ll find someone who’s more your type. You wait and see. You’re attractive. You’re funny, you have a great figure and a wonderful personality to go along with all that.”

  “Why, thank you, Fancy.”

  “She’s speaking the truth. You watch, the perfect man is coming your way.”

  The ladies laughed and joked until Tara excused herself. It was time for her to pick up the kids from the on-site child care center.

  Fancy and Victoria talked while they waited for Tara to get her kids. When Tara appeared at the front of the Y, the three ladies walked to the door.

  “I’m so glad we did this,” Fancy told the ladies as they walked outside. “I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time.”

  “Me neith
er. We have to do this more often,” Victoria said.

  “I know that’s right,” Tara agreed.

  “We will,” Fancy said. “Definitely. I’ll see y’all at Bible study Wednesday night.”

  “Okay, bye,” said Victoria.

  “Buh-bye,” said Tara.

  Each of the ladies went in separate directions to their parked cars.

  Fancy laughed practically all the way home every time she thought about Victoria and Tara. They had turned out to be really good friends who she enjoyed hanging out with. Whenever they were around, Fancy was guaranteed a good laugh.

  Once she got back home she took another shower and then sat down in her family room and began reading a book she had started on a few nights ago. Her text notifier chimed.

  “Hey, hru”

  Fancy smiled when she saw the text from Stiles.

  “Good. HRU? Things going ok today?”

  “Getting back in the swing of things. Picked up my ride. Niiice.”

  “Good for you.”

  “Coming to the church today?”

  “No. Is everything ok?”

  “Oh yea. Just asking. Well, gotta go. Heading to another meeting. TTYL.”

  “Sure, call me later if you get a chance.”

  “Will do.”

  10

  “You can’t always go by actions because some people will ACT like they love you just to get what they want from you.” Sonya Parker

  Detria sat in the office she rarely, if ever, utilized. She was nervous, knowing she had betrayed Hezekiah by telling Khalil about the meeting with him and Winston. She talked to herself as she got up from her chair and paced across the travertine floor. Hezekiah had said he wanted nothing more to do with her after tonight.

  “Why am I nervous then? He wants me out of his life and I want to be out of his life. I don’t know why I ever got mixed up with him anyway.” And whoever this Winston guy really is, she didn’t know. She just met him, gave him the envelope Hezekiah told her to give him, and told him what Hezekiah told her to tell him. She had no solid proof, but she suspected the envelope contained money. That was how Hezekiah operated. He paid others to carry out his sleazy work.