Shattered Dreams

by Shirley Wilkinson

  Much to her surprise, Nathan asked if she would like to get a closer look at them. It wasn’t an opportunity she was willing to pass up. He grinned as he took her to the edge of a cluster of trees and then had her sit. Once they were both down, he took out several small fruits from his bag and rolled them toward the trees. Once they were out, he gave her a mock-stern look as he whispered, “Make sure you stay still and silent. You can sketch them later.”

  She answered with a nod before they settled in to watch the hooting animals. Their patience was rewarded soon after, when several lanky primates dropped to the ground and tentatively headed for the fruit. Avila couldn’t help but grin when they finally darted in to pick them up, and instead of running back, stopped to stare at the two humans.

  There were three of them, and they were bolder than most wild animals she had ever seen. Two of them were content to munch on the fruit while staring, but the third hopped over until it was only a couple of feet away—almost close enough that they could have touched it if they tried.

  She had to fight not to giggle when the thing turned its head this way and that as though it were trying to solve a riddle. She gasped when it started making cooing noises at them. Despite the warning to be still, Avila couldn’t help but look over at Nathan. He returned her curiosity with a shrug before he mouthed the words “just watch.”

  She frowned at him for a moment but finally turned back to do as he suggested. The animal was still watching them intently, and it got to the point that she was beginning to wonder if it would eventually come up to them.

  Before that could happen, the animal jumped back with a screech that was immediately picked up by the rest of the primates in the area. The cacophony was so loud that Avila had to cover her ears. However, she wasn’t given a chance to ask about it, as Nathan was already on his feet and dragging her up.

  He pulled her behind him with enough force that she nearly lost her balance. She was going to reprimand him, but he was already yelling at the nearby guards, “Grab the tranquilizers and be ready!”

  Thankfully, they were not far from cover. Nathan shoved her into the vehicle unceremoniously and quickly followed after. She turned to glare at him, but any words she thought to speak were drowned by the stark terror in his eyes. By that point, the two guards had followed them in and slammed the door shut behind them.

  It was then that a scream pierced the tense silence. Avila’s attention was jerked to the grove. She saw a blur pass near the transport and tried to follow where it went. When she heard another growl, she finally saw what had caused the commotion.

  Near the roots of one of the trees, she saw a giant animal hunched over. It wasn’t until it jerked its head up that she realized what it was. The giant cat was a third of the hovercar’s size and nearly the same color as the grasses, with thin stripes of darker brown scattered across its fur. She couldn’t see the eyes, but she knew they would be yellow. She was staring at one of the apex predators in all of Aril—a vari.

  It was only when she noticed the smear of red across the cat’s maw that she understood what had happened. She had to slam a hand over her mouth to hold down the bile that threatened to come up. It wasn’t that she didn’t know predation was a part of life, but it still sickened her to watch it.

  Thankfully, Nathan had them quickly on the way. The vari barely noted their departure, as it was still busy with its meal. It wasn’t until they were out of sight that Avila finally relaxed with a sigh.

  Nathan was immediately by her side. “Are you all right? I know that had to be terrifying.”

  She managed a smile as she answered, “Well, I will admit that I never expected to get that close to a vari, but I’m fine.” She paused when she noticed the fear had still not left her friend’s eyes. Her smile fled, and her brows furrowed as she reached out to him. “Are you?”

  Nathan looked away as he answered, “Of course, I was only worried. There is no telling what my cousin would do to me if something happened to you.”

  Avila was taken aback by his sudden mention of Galdren. Not that the prince had never come up during her stay, but he almost made it sound like there was more going on than there was. To keep from snapping at him while adrenaline was likely high for both of them, she mumbled a nondescript response and allowed the conversation to drop. After that, the ride back was nearly silent.

  When they finally made it to the castle, Avila was surprised by the level of activity when they walked in. She turned to ask what might be going on and saw Nathan frowning. When he caught her looking, he sighed and gave her a forced smile before he answered her unspoken question, “It looks as though my brother made it back earlier than expected after his delay.”

  Avila could tell something was bothering Nathan but didn’t get the chance to ask what it was, as he continued, “I apologize, but I must leave you to have lunch alone. If Benedict is here, then I am sure Father will have things to go over before I return to the capital in a few days.” He took a step away. “Please get some rest before dinner. I know today was a rather—exciting day.”

  He didn’t give her a chance to respond before he bowed and turned to leave. She watched his back with a frown for a few moments before Evette came to lead her to her rooms. Since she was alone, she decided she could take lunch there.

  ―

  Despite having several things to research, Avila had difficulty concentrating for the rest of the afternoon. She somehow managed to finish the last of her assignments and even started trying to sketch the things she had seen that day from memory. Not that it was going well. Too often, she was distracted by thoughts of the last look Nathan had sent her before he walked off.

  He had told her that he didn’t get along well with his brother, but it seemed more than that. She thought part of the problem might have stemmed from the encounter earlier in the day; he hadn’t seemed himself afterward.

  She sighed and erased a stray mark once again before setting her pencil down. Her concentration was shot, and it didn’t help that she was trying to recall every detail without any kind of reference.

  As she stood to stretch out a knot in her lower back, Evette arrived to take her to dinner. She looked at the timeglass in surprise and gave the maid a furtive request to wait while she freshened up. She still hadn’t changed from her shorts, but she was able to clean up and change in less than ten minutes, though she felt even worse about her tardiness when she was led into a quiet dining room.

  As the three men stood, she turned to the duke with a bow. “I apologize for keeping you waiting. I was working and lost track of time.”

  The man gave her a smile. “It was not too long. Please join us.”

  Avila walked to the seat she had been using and whispered thanks to Nathan for holding out her chair. Once she was seated, the third man caught her attention. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Durant. I am Benedict de Legris. My father speaks highly of you, which doesn’t happen often.”

  She lowered her head with respect at his greeting. “Thank you, Lord de Legris. I cannot speak to other’s opinions of me, but I can say that both your father and brother have shown me nothing but thoughtfulness. I can only hope I have returned it in kind.”

  The other man’s eyes narrowed slightly, but his smile didn’t dim. “I have been told my father convinced you to call him by name. If that is the case, I believe it would be quite awkward for me to be the only one you call by title, don’t you?”

  Benedict’s smile had widened as he spoke, and for the first time, Avila could see the similarities between the brothers. Though, it was easy to tell Nathan was the youngest. She managed to return the smile as she answered, “Of course, as long as you are fine with calling me Avila.”

  He gave her a curt nod. “It would be my pleasure.”

  The meal was served by that point, so the conversation fell away as they all ate. It wasn’t until the second course was on the table tha
t Avila noticed Nathan had hardly touched his food. He hadn’t said anything yet, either. She had just resolved to ask him what the matter was when her attention was pulled away by Zachariah.

  “So, tell me what wonders you uncovered today. I must admit that it is revitalizing to hear of the marvels of my lands through the eyes of a newcomer.”

  Avila gave her friend one last worried look that he ignored before she turned to the duke with a smile. “I’m glad to hear my visit isn’t entirely pointless.” She took any possible offense out of her statement when she ended with a grin.

  Thankfully, the duke understood, and he chuckled as he answered, “Given your history, I doubt anyone could think it pointless. Still, that does not answer my question. What adventures did you have today?”

  Now that the danger was far away, Avila was thrilled about the glimpse she’d been given of one of the most challenging species to spot. Not only did the vari have a low population, but they were wary and were hardly ever seen outside of the rare motion capture images. It was one of the things that made them a deadly predator, but it also made the scene from earlier in the day one to get excited over. Barring the gruesome part, at least.

  She could hardly contain herself when she answered, “We went to see a nesting area for the kohnahv. Which was wonderful, as one of them came right up to us. I wish we had been given more of an opportunity to stay, but I suppose I must be a cat magnet, because a vari attacked them while we were there. As horrific as that was to see, it was still an incredible opportunity. I can only think of a few people that have ever laid eyes on the beast in person.”

  Benedict had not spoken a word since his introduction, so Avila nearly jumped out of her seat when the man slammed his hand on the table and practically yelled, “Again? Was one murder not enough?”

  She looked over to see Benedict standing and glaring daggers at Nathan. Her friend had gotten to his feet as well, but his jaw was clenched. She could also see pain in his eyes. Thankfully, he wasn’t given a chance to respond, as the duke had stood as well.

  His voice was not loud, but it cut through the tension immediately. “Ben, that is enough. I have already given my opinion about this matter. Do not push me. Especially here, as we have a guest.”

  The elder of the brothers looked at his father with unmasked rage, but he managed to growl through clenched teeth, “Then I will excuse myself.” He didn’t wait for a response before storming out.

  Several moments after he left, the patriarch of the household turned to Avila with tired eyes. Any joviality that he had while speaking earlier was long gone. Still, he managed to give her a smile as he said, “Please forgive my son. Rest assured, this has nothing to do with you.”

  She had to swallow once before she could respond. “Thank you for the reassurance, but is everything all right?”

  She looked over when Nathan slumped back into his seat with a sigh. He ran his hand over his face before he shook his head and answered for his father, “This is nothing new, Avila. Please do not let it bother you.”

  No matter what either of the men said, she could not help but be concerned. She had never seen Nathan so despondent. Before she could press the matter, Zachariah added, “He has the right of it. I know it may not be easy, but please do not let this bother you.” He then gave her a polite bow before he stepped away from the table. “I do apologize for my abrupt departure, but I believe it would be best if I handle this now. Please enjoy the rest of the meal, and I will see you both in the morning.”

  It was nearly a minute after he left before Nathan sat forward with another sigh, and by that point, Avila could not keep her questions to herself. “Do you want to talk about it? I’m afraid I’m done with dinner either way.”

  Nathan managed a half-smile, but it quickly fell. He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he seemed to be lost in thought. She had begun to believe that he had no intention of answering when he finally said, “Would you like to go for a walk?”

  His request was so unexpected that Avila didn’t know how to respond at first. She finally gave him a curious look. “A walk? At night?”

  He chuckled weakly at her response before he stood and held a hand out to her. “I promise it will be nowhere dangerous.”

  She wasn’t sure if it was his reassurance or the haunted look in his eyes, but she took his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. He didn’t speak right away. Instead, he tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and led her through several halls and up a few flights of stairs.

  As curious as she was about where they were going, she could not bring herself to break the silence. At least, not until he led her through a small door and they walked out onto part of the roof. She gasped as she took in the view around them. The savannah was spread out below, and the tall grass, silver in the moonlight, stretched as far as the eye could see.

  Nathan took her to the low balcony that surrounded the rooftop. Still, it was several minutes before he spoke. “It’s beautiful here, isn’t it?”

  Avila was still in awe when she turned to him. “This whole place is phenomenal, but this—this is magical.”

  He chuckled, but it barely lasted a moment before he leaned on the low wall. There was another pause before he started speaking again. “I know you are aware that my mother has been gone for years, but I have never told you how or why.”

  It only took a second for Avila to put two and two together to realize why he was bringing this up now. She put a gentle hand on his arm. “You know, you don’t have to tell me if it is difficult. I only wanted to help.”

  ―

  Nathan shot another half-smile in her direction before he looked back out over the plains. “I know. Which is why I am telling you this now.”

  Instead of saying anything more, Avila settled on the wall next to him and waited. It took him some time to put his thoughts together and start the tale. “When I break it down, there isn’t much to the story, but it had such a massive impact on our lives.”

  He paused and took a deep breath before he continued, “My mother would often take Ben and me out into the savannah. She considered it part of our education, since it is our family’s responsibility to take care of this reserve. That trip—it was no different than any of the others. Or so we thought.”

  “It wasn’t the kohnahv nest we visited that day, but it was just as interesting. There are so many things to see out there.” Nathan’s face took on a pinched quality, and Avila placed a hand on his arm.

  He couldn’t muster a smile for her when he glanced in her direction, so he turned away. “I went farther than I was supposed to. Not that I did so on purpose, but I was following a trail that led away from the trees. It wasn’t until I started hearing shouts that I realized how far I had gotten.”

  “I ran as fast as I could. I was only eight, but even then, I could hear the terror in my mother’s voice. She was frantically looking for me. When she saw me, she picked me up and started running with me. I had no idea what had happened, but I didn’t argue. I—”

  He cut off with another grimace but stepped away when Avila tried to comfort him. His back was to her and the moonlit savannah when he kept going. “We were almost back to the transport. We were so close to safety, but—it wasn’t close enough.”

  “A vari had attacked the herd we were watching, but it must have caught sight of us. The guards tried to tranquilize it before it could reach us, but it didn’t work fast enough. We were knocked down when it jumped on us, but my mother managed to roll away. Thankfully, the sedative was starting to take effect, so the vari had slowed, but it was still deadly. The guards had come to help us both to the transport, but the man helping my mother could not keep the cat from attacking again. They were both mauled before the vari finally succumbed to the tranquilizer.”

  “They tried to—we headed back immediately, but there was no—by the time we got back, she was already gone.” By th
e time he finished, his voice was choked with years of unshed tears.

  When he tried to turn from Avila again, she simply walked around until she could embrace him. He finally pulled her into a crushing hug as she said, “It wasn’t your fault. No matter what your brother says, and I doubt he really believes it was either. It isn’t the best way, but people cope differently. I wondered why both you and your father would occasionally become melancholy.”

  They stood together like that for several minutes. When he finally let her go, he turned to wipe at the dampness on his cheeks. Before he could try to say anything else, Avila spoke again. “I understand why you were so scared earlier, but you did the right thing. We couldn’t have predicted that vari would be there, but you kept your wits and got us both to safety before I even realized what was going on. I can’t say that this won’t always hurt, but you can’t keep blaming yourself.”

  Instead of saying anything else, he pulled her into another embrace. They stood like that for several more minutes before he sighed and pulled back. By that time, he was able to give her a real smile, even if it was still small and edged with sadness, and his voice was no longer choked when he spoke. “Thank you. I have known for a long time that everything you said is true, but it helps to hear it from someone else.”

  She smiled up at him and wrapped her arm around his as they headed to the door. “Anytime.”

  Nathan was in a better mood than he had been since that morning. Not that he hurt any less, but sometimes sharing a burden made it easier to carry. He wished Avila good night, then headed to see if he could find his father.

  35. Déjà Vu

  Avila held tightly to the hand of the man next to her. Her other one clutched the collar of the coat she wore. She no longer had the bandages wrapped around her head, but that was even more reason to keep the hood from falling back to reveal her face. Not that there were many people out to see it.