Friends Who Lie

by Paul J. Teague

  ‘Terry struggles with the modern world, don’t you, mate?’ Rhett laughed, placing his hand affectionately on Terry’s shoulder. ‘We went out for a coffee once and he insisted on getting a Nescafé. It was hilarious. They kept offering him espressos, lattes, cappuccinos ... the lot. And he was just standing there saying I just want a fucking Nescafé please! The sad thing is, the kids who were serving him didn’t even know what he was talking about.’

  There was general laughter at Terry’s expense and the first round was bought, by Caitlen, who was quite anxious that none of them should be spending their own cash.

  ‘I wonder how Wes got on?’ Naomi asked, ‘I can’t see him anywhere, can you?’

  ‘This woman is very good. She looks just like Lady Ga-Ga!’ Harriet said, referring to the tribute act who was on stage performing covers of famous songs. The venue was packed. Caitlen was happy about the genial atmosphere, this was a good place to be.

  ‘I can recognise it from the telly,’ Terry said. ‘Look, that’s the bar with the fish tank. They’re always filming stuff over there.’

  Porter had managed to find a spare table and Rhett, Becky and Matt had gone over to help him find some chairs. Harriet and Gina had got talking at the bar and Naomi seemed to be hovering while Caitlen was waiting for her own drink to be served and to settle up the bill.

  ‘You alright, sis?’ she asked.

  ‘I was hoping to have a quick word with you. It’s a bit loud in here. Can we step outside for five minutes?’

  ‘Sure. Is everything alright?’

  ‘Yes, of course. I just felt that we should chat. Away from Terry and Rhett, they always turn everything into a joke.’

  ‘At least Terry does!’ Caitlen smiled.

  They carried their drinks outside and were fortunate enough to be able to grab a small table and chairs which had just been vacated by a smoker.

  ‘What is it?’

  Naomi looked uncomfortable, Caitlen sensed that something awkward was coming. She’d half expected it after their talk in the apartment. Naomi seemed to have something on her mind.

  ‘How are you planning to spend the money?’ she blurted out. ‘I mean ... are you planning to sha— will you be investing any of it?’

  ‘I don’t know yet,’ Caitlen replied. She seemed to be speaking a lot about money recently. She hadn’t even got her hands on most of it yet, and already she could feel the vultures getting ready to circle. Most of them hadn’t said anything. But she could tell it was preying on their minds, like an itch that they just couldn’t scratch.

  ‘Do you think ... will you be sharing any of it out?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Caitlen replied tersely. She hadn’t even settled on her own plans yet and already everybody wanted to spend her cash for her already.

  Naomi took a large sip of her G&T and finally said what she wanted to say.

  ‘Will any of it be coming my way? Me and Rhett, will we be getting any of it?’

  Her face reddened. She’d clearly been working her way up to this.

  ‘Does Rhett know we’re having this conversation? Did he put you up to it?’

  ‘No – yes ... no, not really. I just wondered, only ...’

  ‘Only what?’

  ‘I just wondered, that’s all. It’s a lot of money and I just thought that you might be sharing some of it out.’

  ‘What, more than I have done already you mean? I’m paying for this holiday already, Naomi. What else did you have in mind?’

  ‘I just thought—’

  ‘Look, I can’t even think that far ahead. I told you where I’m up to with Terry. Every crass fucking thing he’s done on this holiday so far makes me cringe. I’m going to finish it when we get home, I can’t do it here, it would be horrible for the rest of you. But I haven’t got my hands on it yet. It’s not even in my bank account, how can I even think about what I’m spending it on before I see how much I’ve got? It’s not like real money, you know. It’s more complicated than that. Besides, I was going to treat you again once you’d all handed back the passwords that I’d given you. As a thank you.’

  Naomi looked chastened, she knew that she’d overstepped. But they’d missed their second mortgage payment that very morning. She’d switched on her mobile phone as she got off the plane and it was the first message waiting for her when the backlog of messages started coming in. She hadn’t even told Rhett yet. She was getting desperate.

  ‘I was going to give you all a weekend break as a thank you. With a five hundred pound budget. Don’t tell the others yet, will you? I don’t want to mention it before I tell Terry. I don’t want him making plans for the future.’

  At any other time, the holiday in Benidorm and a weekend away with Rhett would have been more than enough. It was only because of their financial difficulties that matters were so pressing. And then she saw it, the link between the people. The connection which was going to give her the leverage that she needed. She was keeping Terry and Emmy’s dirty little secret. They’d agreed to stay quiet after they discovered her working in the burger bar and she’d said that she would reciprocate. She was also keeping Caitlen’s secret. That she was going to leave Terry, empty-handed too. They were allies in this, between them they had several passwords. Without the passwords, Caitlen had none of her precious bloody money.

  ‘It’s okay, Cait, I shouldn’t have said anything,’ she said, picking up her drink. ‘You’ve been more than generous, thank you. I’m sorry I said anything.’

  Naomi stood up, touched her sister on the shoulder to show that there were no hard feelings, then went back into the bar. She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she brushed straight past Porter who was slinking in the corner, puffing on his vaper. He went to speak to her but thought better of it. He’d caught the gist of the conversation from afar, he thought it best kept to himself. He turned away so that he was looking down the street. He didn’t want Caitlen to spot him.

  Caitlen decided to nurse her drink a little longer.

  ‘Hello you, I wondered where you’d got to!’

  It was Gina, she pulled Caitlen away from her thoughts.

  ‘Hi Gina, I’m pleased it’s you. They’re wearing me out that lot in there. We’re supposed to be friends, but you can’t really be best friends with everybody can you?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Gina said, pulling up a chair.

  ‘Well, we call ourselves a group of friends. But no group of friends can like every other member equally, can they? I mean, Becky plays polite with Harriet, but the two of them hate each other. Porter comes as part of the package with Emmy, but he’s a bit of a prat if truth be told. Matt fancies Harriet still and looks like he can’t wait to push Becky over a ledge. And Becky ... well, I’m not even certain if she really likes anybody, herself included. Kasey seems to be the only universally liked person in the group. Yet we call ourselves a group of friends.’

  ‘Where did all this come from?’ Gina asked, genuinely concerned. The women had established an immediate rapport, she liked Caitlen.

  ‘Oh, I don’t know. Have you heard of bitcoin? It’s a cryptocurrency, you’ve probably seen it mentioned in the papers.’

  ‘Yes, I own some. How do you think I manage to swan around like I do? Sure I work, because you can’t play all the time. But I bought some myself. It’s been very good to me.’

  ‘Where do you keep yours?’ Caitlen asked, immediately interested that her new friend knew what she was talking about.

  ‘You have to be careful with it, it’s very easy to steal. It’s best not to tell people where you keep it. It’s a precarious business, if you leave it all on your laptop, you can be hacked and have it all stolen.’

  ‘Well, I found that out for myself. That’s why we’re here, in Benidorm. All my friends have part of my password. No one person has the entire thing. I was terrified of leaving it on my phone or a computer. I did some research. And I have it all stored on a special gadget, like a USB drive but more secure. That’s the best
way to do it as far as I can tell.’

  ‘Well, your instincts are right, and you’ve done your research well. But I hope you’ve put your USB drive in a safe place. If that gets stolen or hacked, you’re in big trouble.’

  Gina saw from the look on Caitlen’s face that she hadn’t done that.

  ‘Don’t tell me, where did you leave it? Not under the mattress, please, not under the mattress?’

  ‘No, not as bad as that. I was scared of losing it. I thought about leaving it at home, but I panicked at the last moment, I wanted to keep it in my sight.’

  ‘Where is it?’ Gina asked. ‘You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, of course. But please, put it somewhere really secure.’

  ‘Seriously? That seems a bit over the top?’

  ‘Do you have a decent amount of money on yours?’

  ‘Enough to make a difference, yes.’

  Caitlen adjusted her bra strap, it felt tight all of a sudden.

  ‘You haven’t, have you?’

  Caitlen’s face reddened. She nodded.

  ‘It’s in your bra?’

  ‘Wrapped in tissue and taped to my D-cup, yes. It’s the only place I could think of where it would be absolutely safe. Well, the only hygienic place, at least!’

  ‘Promise me, you’ll come into town with me tomorrow morning and we’ll place it in a private mailbox? I’ll talk you through it, and you need to do the same thing when you get back to the UK. Promise?’

  ‘Yes, I promise,’ Caitlen replied sheepishly ‘It’s just that that seemed the safest way to protect it. And who else do you trust if you can’t trust your friends?’

  Chapter Fourteen

  Benidorm: June

  Gina spotted it first. They were topping up their drinks at the bar, and she’d offered to pay for the round.

  ‘Is that chap called Porter, the one who’s just sat down next to Becky?’

  ‘Yes, why?’ Caitlen asked.

  ‘His arse is on fire, that’s why!’

  ‘Oh Jesus, his vaper is smoking in his back pocket.’

  Caitlen rushed over to the table, but Porter had already figured out what was going on. He was screaming so loud it could be heard over the music. There was a new cover band on, they were playing Queen’s ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’. Even as she helped Porter, she thought how good they sounded.

  Everybody was standing up now, helping Porter. Becky, Matt, Rhett, Kasey and Naomi all fussed around him. It caused such a commotion that the band leader stopped halfway through the song to make sure everything was alright.

  ‘Are you all right, mate?’

  All eyes in the bar turned towards Porter. He was pulling off his trousers in a panic. As his legs became visible, the extent of his wounds could be seen. There was a collective gasp from the other drinkers as they saw the damage that had been done to Porter’s leg.

  ‘Oi, the song’s called ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’, so why have you stopped playing?’

  Caitlen recognised the voice immediately. It was Terry. Worse than that, it was drunk, loud, noisy and offensive Terry.

  ‘What’s he doing over there?’ Caitlen asked, distracted for a moment.

  ‘Dancing with Emmy,’ Kasey replied, ‘They’ve been at it ever since they started playing “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”.’

  ‘I didn’t think those two had that much in common,’ she said, turning back to Porter. His leg was a mess, burned and bloody.

  ‘Is he alright?’ the lead singer asked over the microphone. ‘Would one of the bar staff call for an ambulance?’

  Two members of the bar staff escorted Porter over to a chair, tucked behind a counter. The band started to play a new song and before long, the rest of the drinkers at Erin’s Bar had got back to their beers and sing-along.

  ‘Had somebody better go over and tell Emmy, what’s happened? Her and Terry seem oblivious to what’s going on.’

  It was Kasey who suggested it.

  Terry was back to the air guitar, while Emmy was dancing around him as his fingers moved frantically over an imaginary fretboard.

  ‘I’ll go,’ Caitlen said. ‘Somebody just stay with Porter please, until the ambulance comes.’

  Caitlen walked over to Terry and Emmy. They were tucked away from the main area, dancing at the side of the room with a few other drunkards.

  ‘You’re pissed, Terry!’ Caitlen said, disapprovingly.

  ‘And you’ve got a face like a pit bull chewing a toffee!’ he responded, not bothering to interrupt his guitar solo.

  ‘Porter’s had an accident Emmy, he needs to go to the hospital. You should go with him.’

  ‘Porter’s always having accidents,’ she said in a slurred voice. ‘The prick is a walking accident!’

  ‘Shut up moaning and give us your money! I’m ready for another drink.’ Terry blurted out.

  Caitlen ignored him. This was no time for a debate.

  ‘He’s pretty badly burned, Ems. His e-cigarette exploded in his back pocket. It’s done some serious damage.’

  One song ended and the cover band started to play ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. The bar erupted into cheers. Terry and Emmy readied themselves for an operatic vocal duet. Caitlen gave up on them, they were too far gone. They wouldn’t thank her for sending a pissed Emmy in the ambulance with Porter.

  ‘She’s the worse for wear, I suggest that somebody else goes with Porter. Who’s game? I’m paying the bills, remember, so I’d better hang around here.’

  There was a general lack of enthusiasm. Porter gave out a loud wince as one of the bar staff attempted to place a cotton wool pad over his wounds. He was keen to remind them all that he was still there.

  The ambulance team arrived.

  ‘That was fast!’ Rhett said. ‘Nothing like the UK. You’d have been dead before they turned up!’ he laughed.

  Nobody was in the mood for it. It was a relief when the ambulance team arrived. They seemed surprised that they were dealing with a sober Brit for once. It was a genuine casualty. They knew exactly what to do with Porter, they got on immediately with cleaning up the wound.

  ‘So who’s going with him?’ Caitlen asked again.

  Rhett, Naomi, Harriet, Becky, Matt and Kasey looked at each other. Gina was absolved by virtue of her being a tag-along. She’d barely had a chance to get to know Porter.

  Kasey broke first of all.

  ‘I’ll go,’ he said. ‘I was rather hoping to check out one of the gay bars in town tonight. Looks like that will have to wait now.’

  The others were relieved. They hung around long enough to wave Porter and Kasey off in the ambulance, then headed back into the bar, greeted by the fading notes of ‘We Are The Champions’.

  ‘Thank you, you’ve been amazing!’ the lead singer said, his amplified voice filling the place.

  ‘We play here every night but Saturday, so we’ll see you again soon. Coming up next, a change to the advertised programme. It’s a new singer called Wes Nolasco and he’s going to be playing some wonderful songs for you. He’ll be up in five minutes ... goodnight!’

  There was a huge cheer. Terry and Emmy worked their way back to the bar, deprived of their music now and desperate to refuel themselves via Caitlen’s endless bar tab.

  ‘I was going to suggest moving on,’ Caitlen said, ‘But we’d probably better hang around long enough to show Wes some support. What do you say?’

  ‘Will he be playing more of that Ed Sheeran shit?’ Terry asked. His arm was now around Emmy’s waist. She removed it, she wasn’t so drunk that she’d lost her senses.

  ‘If you mean acoustic songs, then yes, I think he will be,’ Naomi replied.

  ‘Mind if we move on then?’ Rhett asked. ‘There’s a rockier bar along this street, can we meet up with you there? Are you coming, Tez?’

  ‘Of course I’m coming,’ Terry said, placing his arms around Rhett’s shoulders and giving him a kiss on the cheek. As if it had been planned beforehand, Terry, Emmy and Rhett left the bar.

 
‘See you in about half an hour!’ Rhett said, as the break-off group took its leave.

  Caitlen bought another round of drinks and walked with Naomi over to Becky and Matt who were in earnest conversation about something or other.

  ‘Are you joining us?’ Caitlen asked Harriet and Gina, who were quite happy chatting away on bar stools.

  ‘I think I’d better give Becky and Matt a wide berth, don’t you agree?’ Harriet smiled. ‘It was alright when there were more of us sitting at the table, but that’s a bit too intense for my liking.’

  ‘Fair enough!’ Caitlen said, ‘Mind if we join you then?’

  ‘Pull up a stool,’ Gina replied, ‘We were just chatting about Wes.’

  ‘Really? It’s amazing that they’ve given him a gig just like that.’

  ‘Their next act has cancelled due to laryngitis, I think he saved them actually. The barman was telling me. He thought we were in for a double-dose of Lady Ga-Ga, so Wes got his timing just right. He’s a bit of a chancer that one, I said that you need to watch him.’

  ‘I like him,’ Caitlen defended, ‘And he’s got a singing voice to die for.’

  Perfectly on cue, the speaker system fired into life.

  ‘Ladies and Gentleman, it gives me great pleasure to welcome – for the very first time in Erin’s Bar – the wonderful acoustic sounds of Mr Wes Nolasco, playing for you this evening, the songs of James Blunt, David Gray, Ed Sheeran and more!’

  There was polite applause, not quite as enthusiastic as it had been for the Queen covers band.

  ‘I’ve been burned by his type before,’ Gina continued, ‘I was just warning Harriet off him. He’s already pulled his special request move on her too. What was your song, Harry?’

  ‘“9 Crimes” by Damien Rice,’ she replied, ‘I love that song.’

  ‘Thank you for giving me such a warm welcome at Erin’s Bar!’ Wes shouted confidently down the microphone. There was a big cheer from the crowd.

  ‘It’s great to be playing out here in Benidorm, who’s from the UK?’

  There was a huge cheer.

  ‘Wow, he knows exactly what he’s doing,’ Caitlen said, impressed by his immediate presence on stage.